Sunday, September 17, 2006


This book is neither endorsed, nor sponsored by, nor affiliated with Playboy Enterprises Inc. or Hugh M. Hefner. Playboy®, Playmate of the year® and Playmate of the month® Hugh M. Hefner, HMH, Miss January, Miss February, Miss March, Miss April, Miss May, Miss June, Miss July, Miss August, Miss September, Miss October, Miss November, Miss December, Playmate, PMOY, Centerfold, are registered trademarks of Playboy Enterprises International, Inc., all pending or registered in U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without written permission from the author.


For all you Girl’s Next Door! One Playboy Bunny’s Intimate,
Step-by-Step Discovery of Herself and the Secret World of the Playboy Mansion
and What Hef Really Has Going on Upstairs Published in 2003

Praise from the First Edition formerly called Jill Ann Upstairs written in 2002
"Hef may think Jill Ann has a great imagination, but she also has what many others don't, and that's great courage and integrity to stand up for her beliefs, tell the world the truth and inspire others. In your amazing 'kiss and tell' book, you do just this. Congratulations!"
Georgia Cassimatis
USA and International Press

Steppin Out Magazine
Interview by Chauncé Hayden

”Jill Ann Spaulding's tell-all book, Jill Ann: Upstairs is the entertainment industry’s best-kept secret..... until now! Hugh Hefner's blood pressure has got to be in the red zone!"

Thanks to Jill Ann Spaulding, finally the question all the world has asked for decades has been answered! What the hell really goes on in Hugh Hefner's bedroom???!!"

Jill Ann Spaulding doesn't pull punches in Jill Ann: Upstairs. Once you pick it up, you just can't put it down! I'm not sure if Hugh Hefner is a lucky son of a bitch or just an old pervert. Maybe both! haha"
Issue Aug 18th, 2004 Newsstands

Jill Ann: Upstairs, the "expose" by former Playmate Jill Ann Spaulding that promises "explicit details about the sexual secrets of Hefner and his playmates." Watch out, Hugh, one of your pneumatic harem is coming after you, and she's not f**king around with thinly-veiled fiction, she's going straight for the tell-all- ... We're sure the babbling waters of the Mansion's famous grotto are brown with fear right about now.
Hollywood, CA

"It was impossible to put down. I was impressed by you and your ultimate message. I really think you have something very special here, not simply in the enlightening character of your book and its message, but in the strength of character you exhibit throughout. To me, yours is a very serious book with an important story to tell to a ll women about character, image, self-respect and the egotistical exploitation of the false over the true.

”Jill Ann, I loved your book for a variety of reasons, but primarily because it is a story about ‘True’ character overcoming and emerging victorious over ‘False’ character. In that sense, your focus should remain upon the dynamics between you and Hefner. You and what you represent are the most important part of this message. Your True character is the heroine of this story."
Tom Wilson of the legendary cartoon character, Ziggy
Character Matters

"Once I began reading, I simply could not put UPSTAIRS down. Jill Ann Spaulding is an author of remarkable natural talent and an inspiration to women everywhere. She's someone who manages to turn her dreams into reality without compromising her core values.

"Ms. Spaulding is a brilliant point of light who has managed to illuminate us all with answers to questions the world has been seeking for the past 50 years of Playboy's history. She also possesses the determination, drive and intestinal fortitude to shine the light of truth upon the shadow of darkness, no matter how great and powerful the villain casting that shadow may be. Truth seems to be one of her strongest character traits and, above all, she's a woman who not only steadfastly remains true to herself, but through her book, brings the truth to us all. Her motives are both sincere and selfless and her generosity extends beyond her merely sharing the truth with her readers. Ms. Spaulding is also donating all proceeds from the sale of her book to charity.

"Among Ms. Spaulding's other impressive attributes, is the fact that she was an honors student in school, that she began a cleaning business which enabled her to purchase and pay off her first home at age 18, and that she is currently an entrepreneur who built, and now owns, a chain of retail clothing stores. Beyond all of that, Ms. Spaulding has managed to become one of the top Professional women poker players in the world today. I agree wholeheartedly with her perspective and Ms. Spaulding has definitely earned my admiration and respect."

-Ivy Supersonic
Hat maker for the stars

It’s sad when you think of her wasted life,
For Youth cannot mate with Age.
And her beauty was sold
For an old man’s gold.
She’s a bird in a gilded cage.

By Virginia Vandiver (my grandma)

It’s like a pinup girl version of Survivor.

Bruce (friend)

Well...I read your book — cover to cover. Wow...I had no idea!! I couldn’t put the book down.

Kimmie (girlfriend) California

I read your book - wow!! I couldn’t put it down. I’m sending it to my niece. I believe it will be an eye opener for her. As it was for me. You are truly my idol! Congratulations on the book and thank you from not just women but everyone all over. You are proof that “Real” people can live in this world and not compromise their morals. Thanks again!

Katrina, Security, Las Vegas

Jill Ann Spaulding’s book, Jill Ann: Upstairs, is a much deeper and more personal account of her life than the book cover photos might indicate it might be. Once you get past some of the shocking revelations of life at the Playboy Mansion, you will find a tale of young woman caught up in chasing her own dreams and finding it wasn’t entirely what she had bargained for. Her story is takes us on her search for meaning and understanding in world that few know anything about. The choices she makes and the people she meets along the way make this more then just a sexual tale of misdeeds and exploitations—this book is truly a personal journey of inner discovery. Her experiences become an epiphany which causes her to reflect on the true destination of her life path. Her warnings at the end of the book are sober reminders of the dangers and the seriousness of what she saw.

W.H. McDonald Jr.
President of the American Authors’ Association
Award-winning poet and author

Not a single dull page. Nicely done ;-)
Alex Mandossian, California

I found your story fascinating. Getting out from under Hef’s domination was a good thing for you. You saved your pride, your integrity, and you learned you can survive and flourish by being free, rather than living in thrall to a man whose apparent sole interest in life is in possessing people as though they were books play things.
Lou Krieger
Author of Poker for Dummies

As I started to read you book I couldn’t stop (laugh out loud)—there are just so many things that I can refer to. I hope your book will help other girls realize the reality of the whole business because I know there are so many young girls like me who have dreams of being in Playboy and don’t really know what is really going on

P.S. it is a great idea putting all the diseases that you might get through having sex at the end of your book. Maybe some people will wake up and realize that the reality today is vicious.
Katerina, Go-Go Dancer

It is remarkable that in all the years of Playboy, this is the first book by someone who really wanted to be (and was equipped to be) a Playboy Playmate, who has told what it takes to be part of Hef's inner circle. And what is even more remarkable is that it appears that the author has written the book on her own, describing how badly she wanted to be in that circle and what happened to her. I applaud her honesty and openness.

Robert, New York

I received a copy of Jill Ann: Upstairs at the BEA 2004. My interest in her book was at first purely philosophical. As I have an interest in the phenomenology of feminineness (that's a bit different than the physiology). I decided to take a look to see if her book could give me any insight into that impenetrable mystery, toujours aeternal, of the universe: woman. I wanted to get more insight into the self-image the female sex projects (both for-itself and for-others), the clandestine nature that supervenes in the conflictions of reality with that simulacra, and finally, the motivations, the source of that "will to power" that operates therein.
However, when I began reading Jill Ann's book, I forgot my intellectual inclinations and began to enjoy myself instead. Spaulding spins a story, histrionically, beginning from her childhood to adulthood, and then supplanting that with a history of the impulses that operated in the creation of her ideal (the Playmate). She weaves it well, and takes you on a journey into the Hefner mansion, giving you an idea of the glitter and glamour of high society one will find therein, and the disillusionment that tends to come after seeing through the pompery. There may be a few people who criticize Spaulding's intentions in writing this novel. However, those tend to be the type of people who make a nice person such as myself misanthropic, those selfish busybodies who always have something to say, but as a result, never have time to think about what they say (or the effects in has on another person's disposition). The truth is, Jill Ann has a story, and she tells it well. She portrays herself as a likeable individual, full of qualities that we all possess: longing, anxiety, hope, and determination, among many others. And in the end, when one comes to a book such as this, that is what matters. Some may condone the way she describes Hefner, however, I found that she made him into the ideal of every stereotypical male (even if beauty tends not to be the judge of good character, what man would not love to be surrounded by beautiful women? Even the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle, when asked why he associated with the most beautiful women of Greece, responded, "Only a fool would ask such a question.") Concerning the events that happened in the mansion, I know nothing, as I was not there to verify them. Nor do I find it of little account if they are true/untrue; my post-modern understanding makes me belittle the veracity of literature (in other words: truth is relative to the observer). And, so long as it is enjoyable and/or edifying, and teaches us to live well, and think reasonably, a book is worth reading. Jill Ann's book definitely qualifies.

Michael Szymcyzk Vienna, Austria
Author, Toilet: The Novel

Yup, I too have been there and done that. Jill Ann tells it like it is. Her story is entertaining in a sad way. Great read. Anyone who has any illusions about the infamous Playboy Mansion needs to read this book. And all profits go to charity! Congrats, Jill Ann. You had the guts to tell the world the truth.

Starlet, Los Angeles

I read this book after reading about it on Page 6 of the NY Post. My curiosity was piqued and I wanted to get some dish on how things are "really" done at the "mansion." I wanted to know, the "TRUTH" about what goes down there. I have heard interviews with former Hef girlfriends and they don't really say if there is sex involved with being a Playmate/Girlfriend or not!? It really bothered me, because like Jill Ann I have always thought highly of the Playboy magazine and thought the girls were not having sex to get to a certain level. I guess I was disillusioned. I appreciate the brutal honesty of this book. I feel she has written a book from the heart and have a hard time doubting her. Some of the conversations that may have taken place seem very well remembered, and I did a few times wonder if she took artistic license to maybe fill in some blanks, but honestly her tone didn't give me that impression. It was just the fact that (I) am totally unable to remember conversations that I automatically question when someone else is able to.

I feel bad at how things ended up for Jill Ann. She is a beautiful woman who was working hard towards a dream, and from the sound of things because she wouldn't "put out" paired with the absolute "catty" attitudes of some of the women in the Playboy "family" she was totally shafted. I am sorry you were rejected the way it went down Jill Ann. You have written a great book and I think it shed some light on a subject many wonder about.

Jodi Wallace, "yodster" (San Diego, CA)
Amazon Review

Jenny McCarthy:
“Hi Jenny, it’s Jill Ann. I gave you my book Jill Ann: Upstairs at the Chicago Book Expo. Did you get a chance to read my book?”
"Oh my gosh, yes—and it was great!"

Jenny McCarthy

"Jill Ann is full of energy, very professional and it was a pleasure to interview her for German TV. Her stories are very juicy and compelling."
Daniele Salm, German TV

Dear Jill Ann,

I, too, am one of the blondes who get invited to Hef's parties on a regular basis. I have been going there for several years already. I have never been “upstairs” but I have a few Playmate friends so I know a lot about what's going on. (Even though no one really tells you the WHOLE seedy story! The girls are kind of embarrassed to admit that they've had sex with an old man). Anyway, I'm happy to hear that someone finally came out and told people the truth. It's very brave of you. I went out and bought your book last week and couldn't put it down. It was a great read, and you were very truthful in your observations. The gay stuff, of course, has been brought up by other girls before you, so no surprises there. It saddens me that people buy into this glorified lifestyle; an endless party with hot, willing beauties—especially since it's not at all what it seems. I think the parties are kind of lame, actually. I only go to hang out with my girlfriends. There is certainly no wild sex going on in the Grotto. The fun part is walking around, checking out what some celebs look like in real life, eating the chocolate strawberries and the oddly peppered sushi, and petting the animals. That's it. I think it's kind of funny that certain Macho Men are reacting to your book with skepticism. People just don't want to see that this “bachelor's dream life,” which they have read about and envy—is a total orchestrated sham. The girlfriends of the ringleader are there because they are getting paid. Though the playground is more stylish, it's certainly no different from the transactions taking place a few miles away on Hollywood Boulevard. But street hookers are usually smart enough to use protection. At the Playboy Mansion, the star-struck girls are blinded by opportunity. Gamble with your health for fifteen minutes of fame. Unfortunately, I'm thinking Hef can only benefit from your book—people used to snicker that 'the old fart doesn't have sex with those chicks, it's only for show.” But now the world knows that he actually DOES. Well, in his own peculiar way, anyway. I'm sure girls are going to start writing him left and right, willing and ready to participate after reading that the real “requirement” for getting into the magazine isn't based on their looks. This “shortcut” can kill them, but hey! At least they can now be Playmates! Sad. The thing is, after Hef is gone, plenty more girls are going to come out of the woodwork with their tell-all stories. They will no longer be on the payroll, so why not cash in on all those strange nights with the old geezer? The National Enquirer will have a field day with those stories, don't you think? Until then, we can only hope that people will stop treating Hef like he's some kind of Sexual Semi-God who deserves respect, especially since all he really does is engage in prostitution. People can call it whatever they want, but any old man with money can buy girls for sex here in L.A.— and it's indeed spelled prostitution. I feel bad for Hef, I really do. He should have stopped while he was on top, when the hot girls would still show up in his bedroom without requiring hefty handouts in little white envelopes. It's so pathetic. Whatever happened to “growing old gracefully”? His children will be left with the legacy, and it must be quite embarrassing for them. Hef has already arranged for his demise. He will be buried next to Marilyn Monroe, whom he has never met, in a Westwood Memorial Cemetery crypt. She will be the oldest woman he has ever laid next to. I wonder how much he paid for her company?

Los Angeles

Hi Jill Ann,

How are you?

My name is Bob Prince and I read your book recently while on a flight to Dubai. I was very impressed, both with the book and with you, because it took courage to pull away from your dream, when in many ways it would have been easier to have continued, having come so far already.
I'm not an expert on books, quite the opposite. This is the first book I've read in a long, long while. One of our Sunday newspapers (I live in England) ran a short article on it a couple of months or so ago, and I was intrigued to find out more. I ordered the book immediately although it took quite some time to arrive.
Having now read the book in full, I find it very sad that this guy Hugh Hefner uses women in the way that he does. You had the courage not to fall into the trap that he no doubt had hoped that you would, and thereby avoided being another notch on his bedpost. I can fully understand why you and so many other young ladies make such an effort to become a Playmate. But I'm sure that many would not even start down that track if they knew what they might have to do to finally stand a chance of becoming one. Your book has lifted the lid on Hugh Hefner and his sordid attempts to lure naive young girls to be, quite literally, his playthings. He obviously has no respect for women in general and believes that the "magic" of Playboy is enough to get him any girl he fancies. You proved him wrong and in so doing retained your self respect.
Well done, and every success in the future.

With kind regards,


"... Heard you this morning on Howard Stern. Thanks so much for mentioning PREHAB and telling others about us. Glad to hear you are doing well. We really appreciate your Name Brand Stores continuing support for stores and clients who need clothing."
Torrie A. Taj
Director of Development (480) 464-4648
PREHAB of Arizona: Helping Families...Changing Lives

Sex is the coin of the realm, November 28, 2004
Reviewer: Andy Nelson (Colorado) - See all my reviews
This book is a good read. The author, even though a tall, blond, buxom and beautiful woman is also a decent writer. And her experiences in the shadow world of "glamour" are incredible. She certainly blows the top off the Playboy mystic.
When it comes to getting exposure in the media, sex is the coin of the realm. The exchange of body fluids becomes necessary to move ahead and get the exposure. The body and the face are just not enough. Ms. Spaulding makes a fine case for every young woman who aspires to this world of glamour to be warned of the rampant vicious charlatans that prey upon these vulnerable people.
I look forward to the next book.

A sexy adventure that you won’t be able to set it down!
What does it take? Does he really? Can all the rumors be true? Jill Ann’s well-told, arousing story is written for both men and women alike. The story is so alluring and filled with such intimate details that you’ll find yourself riveted to your seat with your eyes completely glued to the pages! Some young girls play with dolls, while others grow up wanting to be one. Upstairs is a true story about a little girl’s dream of becoming a glamorous pin up model in the most renowned of all men’s magazines. The desire to be etched on the glossy pages of ran deep in Jill Ann—as it does with many other beautiful women. Her story tells of the influence Playboy magazine had on her as a child, and how that influence became the sole obsessive driving force in her life. She takes you through the vigorous paces of the ridged workouts, extreme diets and the painful surgeries that she, and others like her, endured in their quest for their Holy Grail. But as she starts closing in on her prize, she discovers much more than physical pain and discipline is required before she can achieve her goal. The pursuit of her childhood dream firmly places Jill Ann in a precarious situation that, in one way or the other, will forever change not only her life, but also the lives of those closest to her. As she walks up the stairs and down the hall, Jill Ann’s thoughts became filled with how many careers have been made and broken in one brief moment on the silky sheets in “the bedroom.” She had gotten this far, but in her heart she comes to realize what others have tendered before her, now set the bar for what she must do? With only a few fleeting moments of indiscretion, she would be in—her dream of being a Playmate would become a reality! Just how far was this beautiful woman willing to go to fulfill her dream? What was she willing to sacrifice at the soft quilted altar to secure her place on the indelible glossy center page? What were other gorgeous young women willing to give up that night to advance their careers? The answers will surly surprise you! Jill Ann: Upstairs is the provocative account of Jill Ann’s own personal experiences combined with the real-life experiences of her gorgeous girlfriends as they pursue the most coveted of all glamour model prizes—the centerfold. You won’t be able to set it down!
Joe Ullrich
Omni Publicity & Public Relations Group

These sexual escapades are more astonishing than I imagined. Part of his aphrodisiac and appeal is his financial and professional success at building the Playboy Empire. The details are juicy, explicit and jaw-dropping, it exposes the reality of being a Playboy model, which is not as glamorous as it seems and it has a really powerful message. I can’t believe they don’t use condoms and have no concerns for STDs. It’s like Hugh Hefner is living back in the 70s.

Anne, New York City

Jill Ann didn’t "hold 'em" and she sure didn’t "fold
'em" in "passing" on Hef and "dealing" with the
"Naked Truth" behind the Playboy Mansion..... AND the
proceeds are "all in" to Charities to help victims of
domestic violence and fight the spread of STDs. A
winner on all counts....while Playboy is left playing
52 pickup.

Tom Edon

Hi Jill Ann,

An employee at PREHAB heard you this morning on Howard Stern. Thanks so much for mentioning PREHAB and telling others about us. Glad to hear you are doing well. We really appreciate your Name Brand Stores continuing support for stores and clients who need clothing. Take care.

Torrie A. Taj
Director of Development (480) 464-4648
PREHAB of Arizona: Helping Families...Changing Lives

“Hey Leo did you get a chance to read my book? His response “Hey yeah! Reaches his hand out and shakes my hand! And says “How you doing”
Leo DiCaprio

This book is dedicated to Bruce Gifford, my best friend, and
companion who stood by me through it all.

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To the Readers

(Spelling errors, grammar, etc. please help and send changes directly to Don’t be afraid to send them, It is much appreciated!


Dedication . . . 15

Prologue . . . 19

Introduction . . . 21

Chapter One Preparing . . . 30

Chapter Two Glamourcon . . . 34

Chapter Three Sneaking in to the Playboy Mansion . . . 54

Chapter Four Playmate Test Shoot . . . 56

Chapter Five Making the Cover of Poker Digest . . . 60

Chapter Six Why Poker . . . 63

Chapter Seven Strip Clubs . . . 65

Chapter Eight My Playboy Photo Shoot in Chicago . . . 67

Chapter Nine Hef's Birthday Party . . . 79

Chapter Ten Making Playboy . . . 91

Chapter Eleven Hef's Letters . . . 95

Chapter Twelve The First Night at the Mansion . . . 104

Chapter Thirteen Day Two at the Mansion . . . 124

Chapter Fourteen Day Three at the Mansion . . . 137

Chapter Fifteen Day Four at the Mansion . . . 146

Chapter Sixteen Day Five at the Mansion . . . 156

Chapter Seventeen Gossip . . . 167

Chapter Eighteen Kissing Ass . . . 173

Chapter Nineteen Midsummer Night’s Dream Party . . . 175

Chapter Twenty New Playboy Friend and Cyber Girl Party . . . 182

Chapter Twenty-One Letters to Dig Myself Out of the Hole I Was In . . . 185

Chapter Twenty-Two Halloween Party at the Mansion . . . 187

Chapter Twenty-Three Playboy Golf Host Arizona . . . 191

Chapter Twenty-Four Playboy Golf Host Las Vegas . . . 195

Chapter Twenty-Five Sex at the Mansion on My Terms . . . 198

Chapter Twenty-Six Tidbits of Fun about Celebrities at the Playboy Mansion from Hot Girlfriend . . . 219

Chapter Twenty-Seven Agent Scum . . . 227

Chapter Twenty-Eight Moving to Los Angeles and Party at the Mansion for New Year’s Eve . . . 233

Chapter Twenty-Nine Breaking the Inner Circle . . . 242

Chapter Thirty Playboy Super Bowl Party San Diego . . . 245

Chapter Thirty-One Playboy Party Mardi Gras New Orleans . . . 248

Chapter Thirty-Two Money from Hef . . . 259

Chapter Thirty-Three Mardi Gras Party at the Mansion . . . 261

Chapter Thirty-Four It's Over . . . 274

Chapter Thirty-Five No Longer Welcome at the Mansion . . . 277

Epilogue . . . 281

Playboy in the Media . . . 285

Miscellaneous Stuff . . . 296

History of the Playmates from the Beginning . . . 300

Sexually Transmitted Diseases . . . 316

After My Book Was Released . . . 324


“First, you have to take a bath.”
Looking over as if I was going to drown, I zoned in on the tub for a moment. It was rectangular but double the size of a normal bathtub. It had old yellow square tiles inside the tub, and I looked down only to find that it was very deep. I felt scared. Kelly saw it in my eyes.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “You only have to participate if you want to. It’s hilarious, and you won’t ever forget it. When you’re older, you can write a book!” She turned the dials on the tub and adjusted the water to get it to a perfectly warm temperature, and she grabbed a large bottle of floral-scented bubble bath and squeezed it loudly into the water. The bathtub began to stir up with bubbles like mothers ran for there children except these children standing near the tub were much older and the ending result probably was not going to have the same warm and fuzzy feeling.
She quickly began to undress and unbuttoned her jeans and kicked off her heels and let down her top and was naked in less then a minute with all of her clothes in a huge pile on the floor. I removed my shoes and stood barefoot on the cold tile floor. I began to take off my necklace and she stood closely behind me to help me unlatch the clasp. I unscrewed my earrings and belly button rings and laid them gently next to my necklace. My bracelet that clutched my arm was next and struggling to get it unclasped with one hand, Kelly touched my hand softly and removed the bracelet and set it next to my other belongings. I could feel the warmth of her naked body next to mine and her hair touched the back of my neck as she unzipped my dress. I used my fingertips to move the straps from my shoulders and the dress fell to the floor. I moved slowly to remove my g-string still scared of what I was doing at the moment or what I was feeling. The room was silent except for the water running in the tub. I noticed two or three large candles around the bath tub and a bar of soap, some lotion and face wipes. Behind the bathtub was a completely out-of-place white cabinet with toiletries in them and a little white piggy bank sitting on the top. The wallpaper on the walls was a strange yellow flower print seemingly from the 1920s. A “name” plant was in one corner of the bathroom. A doctor-style white stand-up scale was against one of the walls to make sure none of his Playmates had gained too much weight!
While the warm water ran, Kelly started to whisper quietly to me.
“We’re going to go in and sit on the bed. If you don’t want to participate just keep your bottoms on. Otherwise, take them off. I’ll be with you the entire time, and we’ll stay together. I’m going to pretend to give you oral sex and you can touch me, or kiss me or whatever you’re comfortable doing. All the girls will be around us doing the same thing. They’re all faking it. No one is bisexual so don’t touch another girl unless she touches you. If you watch you’ll be able to tell that they’re totally acting—nothing is really going on. Just follow my lead, and you’ll be fine.”
I started to relax. In my mind, I talked to myself. I knew it. I knew it. I can do this. I can pretend to kiss another girl. No problem. I can handle this. He probably just sits there and watches all of us pretend to pleasure ourselves, I thought to myself.
I assumed it was all for show, like a put-on private striptease. On some level, I naively thought it was about showing off our bodies, but not actually doing anything sexual.
A girl named Isabella came into the bathroom and asked us what we wanted to drink. I ordered a diet coke and Malibu. Kelly had the same. Kelly, as if rehearsing for her Playmate Video, dipped her toes into the bathtub and then slowly immersed herself among the bubbles. She grabbed another bottle of probably some sexy-smelling liquid soap and started touching herself. I watched admiringly because I had actually never seen a girl bath before. She lathered under her arms and then her private parts. She quickly got out and dried off with a huge fluffy towel that was next to the tub. A girl named Britney walked in completely naked. I wasn’t sure where she had dropped her clothes or had been in the past 10 minutes, but she arrived knowing the routine and immediately immersed her self in the bathtub. She was not shy at all and was not covering herself up with bubbles. She was standing up and really giving herself a good scrub-down. The bathtub had a hand-held attachment to rinse you off or to pleasure yourself in some cases such as in shower, but it was mounted in the bathtub. Kelly told me that I needed to get a move on, and I asked her if I should wait for the other girl to leave the tub.
“No. Go on in.”
Being a clean freak I already felt a little weird bathing in the same water as these other two gals. I mean, this is not a typical experience. I tried to blow it off thinking it was just like a swimming pool except smaller and put the thought out of my mind. Still, I was an only child. I didn’t even have brother and sisters to bath with, and I wasn’t use to sharing! But the night was shaping up to be pretty life-altering anyway, so I just tried to go with it.
This was a cleansing ritual done by every girl invited upstairs. All the official girlfriends were supposed to be doing the same thing in their own personal bathrooms. I pictured that back in my shared bathroom, my roomie Michelle was scrubbing up for the big event and putting on her special pink PJs.
Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door came into the bathroom and did not look thrilled to see me. I didn’t want to get my hair wet and Kelly diffused the situation by asking if Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door had a hair clip. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door gave me one, and I thanked her over and over again. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door was near the sink with a stack of hand towels, and she was soaking them in water and wringing them out before placing them in a bowl.
I found a rubber duck on the side of the bathtub and squeezed it out of child’s play. Stepping slowly into the bathtub trying not to give eye contact to the girl in the bathtub figuring she might not appreciate it. She smiled at me and said “Don’t worry, you can look”
“What am I supposed to do?” I asked as I got into the tub.
“Wash under your arms, privates, and elsewhere, just like a regular bath.”
“This isn’t regular for me.” I smiled.
Hef walked into the bathroom in his signature bathrobe with his throwaway camera in hand. I felt a little shocked, kind of like your dad just walked in on you using the toilet and you were embarrassed. Kelly asked if it was okay if he took a picture. I said “Sure.” Britney and I put our arms around each other and our nipples smashed each other as we hugged to pose for the picture. I didn’t give my huge normal smile but my naughty sexy smile with my arm dangling out of the tub. By this time all of the bubbles were almost gone but the bathtub was so deep that you couldn’t even see our belly buttons. Still suds were hanging off my right breast and covered my arm that was out of the tub. He took a picture of Britney and me naked in the tub. Hef went into the small toilet room adjacent to the tub and Britney got out of the tub and began to dry off. I stepped out of the tub leaving it fully standing with water and began to dry off. Kelly reached in and unplugged the tub to release the water. Hef walked by and headed into the other room.
All of the girls seem to have vanished, and it was just Kelly and me in the bathroom together. The room echoed as we spoke with the marble all around us. I went to the restroom and took my time. I was very nervous. I sat on the toilet—not doing anything but trying to collect my thoughts. Part of me wondered what I had gotten myself into. I already had my pink pajamas on, which were full-length pants all the way to past my ankles and the buttoned-up top, which was also oversized. Isabella came rushing in and told us to hurry up; everyone was waiting for us. I quickly came out of the bathroom and shut the door. Kelly grabbed my hand and led me into the main bedroom of Hugh Hefner. It was very dark. I looked down on the ground as we walked to find my way around stacks and stacks of videos that consumed the floor. The only light came from two gigantic big screen TVs. Extremely loud techno music was playing. On the big screen TV was, to my surprise, guys having anal sex. It was very graphic and noisy.
I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Only I hadn’t landed in Wonderland, but in a dark and dangerous world from the imagination of Hugh Hefner.


I’ve always been an open-minded individual. I guess it’s because I was raised by liberal parents from the 1970s. I was privy to the magazines my grandparents and my boyfriend subscribed to—Playboy—and the Playboy channel on television. Why would a girl like me buy Playboy and let my boyfriend read it? And why would I let him watch the channel?
“Tell them they can’t have it, and they’ll want it all the more,” my mother always said.
I’m sure she was not talking about this subject, but I used this advice in my everyday life. On some level, I guess I thought that men with girlfriends and wives who forbid them from looking at Playboy would then sneak around to look at it—or worse . . . they’d cheat. I intended my relationships to be based on trust. Of course, like many people, I thought Playboy was classy, upscale, and acceptable. Anything else was porn. Playboy featured the women like gorgeous art, airbrushed to perfection, with taste and style. The lighting was always sexy, not harsh. They were like paintings brought to life.
In the 1960s when women were more voluptuous and zaftig, they reminded me of Renaissance oil paintings. I had always dreamed of being a Playboy centerfold, and if it was good enough for me to have been willing to do it, then the magazine was okay for my boyfriend to read. Besides, my grandpa was a Playboy collector and proud of it. He had read Playboy as far back as I could remember. I think that was one of the biggest reasons I wanted to be a Playmate. Of course, my grandpa made it very plain he did not want to see his sweet granddaughter nude. However, he thought the magazine was great, and my grandma always said Hugh Hefner’s publication had the most beautiful girls in the world. They allowed me to look at the magazines as far back as I can remember, and to be honest, they were the most beautiful girls in the world, as far as I could see.
I started collecting autographed Playboy covers. My first signed Playboy was bought at a memorabilia store in Harrah’s Casino. Drew Barrymore was the featured star. The very next day, my boyfriend and I purchased a gigantic framed collection of four different covers of Jenny McCarthy, that sexy and outrageous blonde, all autographed and another of her signing a Playboy book. The collection grew to be huge with seventy-six, very well-known autographed covers from Madonna, Vanna White, and all ten of Pamela Anderson’s appearances in the pages, as well as Anna Nicole Smith, Bo Derek, Caprice, Claudia Schiffer, Sharon Stone, and many others. I became obsessed with the collection. I had an eight-foot by eight-foot, airbrushed Playboy bunny mounted in my pool/bar room. I had pool sticks with Playboy bunnies and playmates on the handles, a cue ball with the bunny; the entire room was filled with bunny glasses, napkins, and a large street sign that read “Honorary Hugh Hefner Way.” Everything was Playboy, and I loved it. It was a great hobby. I would surf Ebay for hours and bid for celebrity signed covers and Playboy memorabilia.
My boyfriend was the hero in all this collecting. Anyone who came into our house would tell him “You’re the Man!” Not only for having a girlfriend who liked Playboy but who allowed him to have a subscription and the Playboy channel. During every party, Bruce would turn on the television to show all of the guys and women how lucky he was. Every woman wanted to know which cover I was on, what month I appeared, etc. I felt so beautiful and loved with all the attention, even though I had never appeared and had never posed nude. Everyone assumed I had been in it because I had that classic Playboy bunny “look.”
So how did this wonderful collection of mine that I worked so hard to get, so hard to have—each and every cover custom framed and mounted—turn sour? How did it happen that when I put my house up for sale, I put it up as completely furnished leaving the new owner with the entire seventy-six-picture collection? All the Playboy memorabilia, including my first personal letter from Hef, autographed with pictures and framed, were eventually auctioned off, placed on EBay® and for little to no money without a care.
I have been asked how I became so obsessed with Playboy, and this is the only way I can explain it.
To reflect, I found a picture of me, about 10 years old, posing sexily in a chair with a bunny on the ground next to me. At the time I don’t remember thinking about Playboy or even know if I had a sense of the magazine. I just always wanted to be a model or an actress. I took drama in school, was in all the school plays and at one point two friends of mine and I volunteered at a theatre in Everett, Washington, when I was about 13. We didn’t get paid anything. We cleaned bathrooms, vacuumed—just to be close to the world of the stage. I would practice in front of the mirror and even wrote my first version of a Nancy Drew book. I always wanted to be famous. My girlfriends and I would dream about Holly Madison - The Girls Next Doorwood and the glamorous life it represented to us. And there was nude wallpaper in my parent’s kitchen, scenes by Alphonse Mucha, the famous artist of the Art Nouveau pictures, so seeing a naked breast with a daily bowl of breakfast was a norm for me.
It wasn’t until I was about 15 and I moved back to Arizona that I would find my grandfather’s magazines near his chair. My dad was completely the opposite type. He wouldn’t even look at a magazine and would not go to R-rated films because of their sexual nature and profanity.
He said at one time, “Why would I want to look at a girl in a magazine that I was never going to have? It seems stupid.”
There was a lot of talk about sex between my mom and me when I was a teenager. She wanted me to be well informed and spoke very openly about it. I was not allowed to wear makeup until I moved out—nor could I get my ears pierced. I was allowed to look at the centerfolds at my grandpa’s. I’m not sure why my grandma would let me, but she was so intrigued by their beauty and artistic portrayal that eventually lead to our having a conversation about why grandpa was allowed to have the magazine. He had a huge collection and must have saved every edition. This was the one area my grandma called “art.” She would always say how they were so beautiful. She told me time after time I was pretty enough to be in Playboy and that I should send my pictures in to them. At this point in time, I was over 18 and she said it often.
Nearly every time I went to their house I would look at the magazine, and Grandma would always tell me the same thing: You could be in there. I never thought I could. I figured it was a proud grandma thing. I did do a little modeling but then, at 18, I moved out, bought my own motor home and had to support myself. I got a stable job to pay bills and launched my Playboy Collection. I don’t think I was really obsessed so much as I was a collector—like people who spend each Saturday tromping through flea markets. I think that after I began collecting the Playboy magazines and putting them on the wall that I became fascinated with the entire Playboy world. I had always wanted to look like a centerfold. That doesn’t mean that I ever thought I could. But as more and more people that came to my house asked which cover I was on—and they were serious—I started to consider maybe I could
It didn’t become an obsession until I was turned down by Playboy. I had been a positive person all my life and really believed that anything I set my sights on I could achieve. I was 30 before I decided to look like the girls in the magazines. I hired a trainer to get into shape—not to get into Playboy. I just wanted to look like I was there. When the trainer reminded me I would never have the body I had at 20 it was a catalyst to disprove him.

Chapter One

It all started when I arrived at the age of thirty. A woman’s worst nightmare: getting old. One day that look in the mirror will prove the dreaded evidence that all those childhood dreams of being an actress, model, or someone famous could not be realized. I had put all those dreams and fantasies aside when I was twenty-one while I pursued a successful career as an owner of a chain of clothing stores. It was true that I had a beautiful four-thousand square foot house that was completely paid for, great cars, furnishings, financial success, and the admiration of my employees. It wasn’t enough. The one dream that stood out the most was being a Playboy centerfold.
It wasn’t just that I was getting older . . . it was a turning point. I wanted to do something special. Maybe for someone else this moment happens when turning forty. Maybe someone else might want to climb a mountain, enter a marathon, bungee jump or skydive. Fly to Paris. But I had all the material possessions I wanted. I wanted to do something so that when I was sixty, I could look back and say, “See what I did!”
I was in the poolroom amongst all my Playboy memorabilia when it hit me. I was going to do it. It wasn’t too late. How come I had never thought of this before? Not at any time in my life did I take the time to actually submit my pictures. I decided I needed a strategy. I was a businesswoman. I could do this. I applied all the common sense and drive that had taken me to where I was to the goal of being a Playmate. I realized that at thirty, realistically I had only a very remote chance of being a Playmate. I researched about a year of Playboy magazines and found that the oldest one was twenty-six. If I were going to have a chance of achieving my goal, being four years older than the average, I would have to really look terrific. I would have to have an edge, the look, the figure, the personality—everything.
For starters, I would need someone teach me to do my makeup well. I never really wore makeup through high school and still didn’t, just a little blush and mascara. I was going to need to look the part. A model friend of mine gave me a list of makeup artists, and I called the one she recommended the most. I told the makeup artist that I had just turned thirty and wanted to look younger, sexier—more “Playboy-ish.”
When she came to our house, Bruce, now my boyfriend, videotaped the makeup session so I could watch it over and over again to learn the techniques. Within a week, I threw out all the old makeup I had and purchased everything new from different stores all over town. It cost hundreds of dollars, but I was thrilled with my new look. I watched the video daily. I was on the way to a new me! To demonstrate how little I knew about self beauty the gal that was doing my makeup started to pluck my eyebrows.
My first reaction was “Ouch.”
Makeup Lady: When was the last time you had your eyebrows plucked?
Jill Ann: I never have. Why . . . do they need to be?
Makeup Lady: Oh yes!
Flipping through a local paper I came across an ad for a personal trainer. To get the look I wanted, dedication was the name of the game. Having already had breast surgery a few years before, they were still perky and beautiful. My teeth were straight from having braces as a child. I had been told by many boys that I had great legs a tiny waist and outstanding breasts. I was lucky to be thin and a natural dirty blonde.
Through the years, many friends had already told me I should send my pictures in to Playboy. Many people thought I was a model.
If I was in danger of being automatically dismissed because of my age, I also needed a gimmick. Playboy often featured women who were firefighters, police officers, featured on a reality show . . . women who were some sort of celebrity or who had something unusual about themselves or their career. I was none of these—but I had been playing Texas Hold ‘em on nearly a daily basis for over eight years. So I hatched a plan: Get in shape and send in my pictures and tell them that I was a tournament poker player. If they had a rule on age limit for being a Playmate, then they could do a poker article on me like they do the firefighters and police gals.
I tried not to get depressed and started reflecting on other people’s ages. Thirty was the old twenty, and forty was the old thirty. People were exercising and staying in shape . . . the old definitions of sexy were flying out the window. People over thirty at the time were very popular. Jennifer Lopez, thirty-one;
Lucy Liu, thirty-three; Faith Hill, thirty-four; Nicole Kidman, thirty-four; Ashley Judd, thirty-three; Gwyneth Paltrow, twenty-nine; Sarah Jessica Parker, star of the sexiest show on television, thirty-four; Julia Roberts, America’s biggest females star, thirty-four; Cameron Diaz, twenty-nine; Sandra Bullock, one of America’s sweetheart actresses, thirty-nine; Carmen Electra, thirty-two; Pamela Anderson, thirty-seven; Angelina Jolie, twenty-nine; Beth Ostrosky, Howard Stern’s sexy girlfriend, thirty-two; Lisa Marie Presley, thirty-six; Meg Ryan, forty-two; Jennifer Aniston thirty-five; Cameron Diaz, thirty-one; Winona Ryder, thirty-two. I took heart that the last playmate was twenty-nine (Tina Marie Jordan) instead of the prior twenty-six years old being the oldest in the past few years. The stars of Beverly Hills 90210 were also no longer high school kids. Tori Spelling was thirty; Jason Priestley was thirty-three; and Jennie Garth was thirty-one, and so on. No, I told myself, I was not too old!
The personal trainer came out to the house. I didn’t tell him about my plans for Playboy. I’m not sure if I told him that I wanted to look like a Playmate, but I did say I wanted lean muscles, great curves—not bulky.
You can skip this paragraph if you choose, but a lot of people asked me how I got into shape. Here is a list of all the exercises I was to do. Day One: prisoner squat w/chair, lunges, side lunge-straight leg, calf raise, abduction w/tube, one leg dip squat, leg extension. Trunk; roll up, bicycle, leg lift to sky, 45-degree leg lift, physioball crunch, feet on ball angles, machine crunch. Day Two: Chest—close grip, lat pull down, shrug, seated row, DB Front Raise, DB Lateral Raise, DB Rear Delt Raise, DB Curl, Cep Pushdown-elbow in side, DB Hammer Curl, DB Triceps Extension, Finger pumps. Trunk—Half Crunch-legs still, Opposite Elbow to knee, Leg Straight Reach, Arms Middle Crunch, Side Crunch, Full Crunch, ridge hip to sky, Superman. Day Three: Ball Squat, Tube Walks for side, Leg Extension, Leg Curl, One Leg Squat, Calf Raise, Wide Leg Prisoner Squat. Trunk—Roll up, Bicycle, Leg lift to sky, 45 degree leg lift. Physioball Crunch, Feet on balls—Angles, Machine Crunch. Day Four: Chest-close grip, Lat pull down, Seated row, DB Triceps Kickback, DB Triceps Kickback, DB Padded Curl, DB Front Raise, DB Lateral Raise, DB Rear Delt Raise, Machine Curl, Triceps Dips, Finger Pumps. Trunk; Half Crunch with legs still, Opposite Elbow to knee, Leg straight reach, Arms Middle Crunch, Side Crunch, Full Crunch, Bridge hip to sky, Superman, Holdem-up Elbows, Holdem up-Side, Physioball, Bug Opposite arm/ Opposite leg, Side to Side with weights.
I was feeling good. My trainer had me on a special diet. By the time he was through, I felt I was ready. The only things I didn’t like were my thighs. No matter what I tried, they didn’t change. Most women, I suppose, have that one body part they’re displeased with. I knew that, realistically speaking, most women would have been thrilled to look like I did probably, but I wanted nothing but a lean, mean, sexy body, and I continued to complain. The trainer continued to make me do more and more exercises.
Finally, point blank he said, “You’re thirty. You’re never going to have the body you did at twenty.”
I was literally devastated. I wanted Playboy to have no excuse except my age. Because I had already undergone breast surgery a few years before, I guess for me, plastic surgery did not seem like a drastic option. I sincerely believed if there was something you did not like about yourself, and you had the power/money to change it through modern medicine, you should. I went to a local doctor in Arizona, even though I was 115 pounds and 14 percent body fat. I showed him what I didn’t like. I told him flat-out what my plan was. He suggested inner and outer liposuction. I figured that, while I was at it, I would get larger implants. I had to stand out—not freaky—but I had to have an edge over the hundreds of other twenty-four-year-old girls who get implants. I also asked about my lips. The doctor said that he could weave a rope to the upper and lower lips to make them slightly fuller. I added that procedure to the list.
In one day, my inner and outer thighs were slimmed, both lips were fuller, and my breasts doubled in size. The pain was incredible. My lips were so swollen I looked like a monkey. I could not lie on either side and wore spandex pants for optimum results.
I was told to purchase a ton of frozen peas. Bruce, my nurse, would put them in a zip lock bag and set small amounts of peas on my lips. As soon as the bag of peas would start to get warm, my lips were in tons of pain. This is when more new peas would be applied to stop the agony. I was told by Bruce not to look in the mirror, and I didn’t. He later told me after I was well that they were so gross and blue that he could not get that image out of his mind. They looked like they were going to burst and explode everywhere. He begged me never to do that again. The breast pain was nothing at all and my arms were not even sore like the first time. I figured they would be in worse pain because of having to remove the prior saline bags and then insert another bag in their place. Also breast tissue was cut out to give me more cleavage in the middle because my first set of breasts was fairly wide with not much cleavage.
The lipo was the worst experience because of the removal of high-pressure shorts that you could barely move up or down. I had to have the smallest pair of shorts on to firmly hold my new movement of skin. By removing some excess fat in this procedure, like all patients there was some loose skin and the longer I wore the compression pants the smother my “new” legs would be. For over three months I wore these damn things. The best thing about the entire operation was the new breasts were perfect in size, and amazingly the toothache that had plagued me for years was gone! This was worth a celebration.
The next problem was the liposuction seemed not to be perfectly even on my legs. I had very high expectations, and if I was going to grace the pages of Playboy this was not going to do it. They had to be perfect. I showed them to the doctor and instead of a normal doctor saying you need to wear the compression pants longer or that is the way your body reacted or something along those lines, he said he needed to go back in and redo them and he wouldn’t charge me anything but the hospital room and anesthetics. I had already been told I could not exercise for six months and now having to go back in again was going to set me back additionally. He took me in almost right away and did the procedure. This time a slight problem happened. I am not sure why, but the anesthesiologist did not give me enough medicine. I had lips, lipo, and breasts the time before and the pain was bearable for the entire time.
This time waking up in the recovery room I noticed a pain that was so incredible that I felt I was going to pass out. I wished so much that I could have passed out. I explained to the doctor my problem of severe pain and they said they could give me more pain medicine, but then I would have to stay in the hospital for an additional amount of time to monitor my results and what they gave me would not be anywhere near the strength of my own medicine I could take once I got home.
I decided to risk going home instead since this doctor was much closer than the prior doctor. The drive was only about a ½ hour till I would be home. On the way home the most blinding pain came my way. Almost unable to control the crying I was not sure what to do. I felt it was unbearable, unbelievable, and undesirable. The pain pill did nothing to stop the pain. Calling the doctor about an hour later he told me I could take an additional pill. Instead of being in “la la land” and waking up the following day sore and miserable, it was the longest night of my life. The following week continued to be severe with pain. I was told there was nothing wrong and that it was normal. I wasn’t sure if going right back in so soon to the same areas had done it or not enough drugs on the operating table at the hospital had made me flip around so much that I had wounded myself inside. The bruises this time from the lipo were so frightening that I could barely stand to look at my legs. They were a deep black and blue.
My lips had gone down, and now it seemed completely as though no rope had been hand woven from one end to the next. I was disappointed to say the least. I had thin lips again. I would be forced to draw them in again with lip liner to get them to look pouty and full.
I stuck to my strict diet that my fitness trainer had me on. I did not tell him my plans of surgery and just told him I was going to take a break for awhile. I was going to surprise him with the results. I didn’t tell anyone in my family that I was having this done and, until this book, I have never admitted to the liposuction. The waiting began. I had six months before I could work out again.
My age clock continued ticking away. Talk about a boring six months being on my strong diet not allowing the time to become fat or have more appear on my thighs! I couldn’t work out; I couldn’t eat anything that was not on my list! I maintained my diet and spent time working on and preparing my plan. When the time came for my trainer to return, he couldn’t believe what I’d done. He worked with me for two months getting into the shape I wanted for my first photos to be submitted to Playboy. As a final touch, I went through the very painful procedure of Botox. (This is to remove all wrinkles from forehead or eye area, or wherever you put the painful injection. It paralyzes this section of your face so that there will be no wrinkles. Many of the movie stars use this to look much younger.) It is the process of mixing two things together and putting them in a needle and then taking this same needle and pressing them down to areas of your skin that have wrinkles and releasing the fluid to this area. To get the exact places you want the doctor will make you squint or frown and mark your face with little pin marks for him to remember where to put the injection. It is an intense pain, but since I had already been through so much what was a little more.
The saddest thing was my lips were still very thin, so I paid an additional amount of money to have collagen injected in my lips. We are talking the worst pain ever is injecting a needle into your lip every little inch all the way along to give your lips a perfect even injection of collagen. I was so glad this painful procedure was done and over with and the Botox was amazing. It was like it gave me an immediate semi facelift. It even seemed to raise my eyebrows to give me a more youthful look. I was completely thrilled with the process, and I could smile great big and happy without having any lines on my face. I looked like I was twenty-one again. I also had Epilight treatments on lower arms, bikini line, lower legs, and knees. I paid a ton for the service, and it didn’t do a dang thing. I did three full painful treatments with this intense light. They put this thick freezing cream in a large spot and then they would zap this hot electrical device on that section of my hair. They said it was supposed to be low pain. It wasn’t, and it was a waste of all of my money as well. They said it probably didn’t work because I have such blonde hair. Granted I am jumping ahead because I went thought the treatment for many of months, and it still didn’t work. I thought it would be so awesome that I would have hairless leg and bikini.
Nonetheless, all this gives readers an idea of what I was willing to do to achieve that perfection that people have come to expect of a Playmate.

Chapter Two

Before I was completely ready to send pictures to Playboy, an event called Glamourcon came up October 21 to 22, 2000. It is a gathering of models—mainly Playboy models and Playmates. I decided I would attend. I was very excited to go to Los Angeles. I wanted to check out the competition.
When I arrived, many people started asking to pose with me assuming that I was a model. I told them that I was not. They still wanted to take my picture and I didn’t object. It was kind of fun to glimpse a little bit of celebrity status. It was an interesting place for young aspiring models to go and check out also because there were many opportunities there as well for work, and agencies in the room were actively looking for new talent. Unfortunately, a lot of the work was nude modeling, not regular modeling.
Most girls were Playmates, Penthouse Pets, from Hustler magazine, or some kind of nude production. I had many offers to paint me, photograph me, and draw me—of course all in the nude. I had only been there a little bit of time and noticed them arranging a main table and preparing it.
I asked someone what they were preparing for, and they said for Hugh Hefner’s arrival. I was surprised I had not heard about this. It wasn’t advertised in anything that I had seen. They informed me that he didn’t always show up, but that if he did, often he showed up on the first day. There were many vendors selling Playboy magazines so I rushed to find one that was worthy of a signature from Hugh Hefner. I found one with my birthday April 1970 and another anniversary issue so I figured these would be two good ones to get signed.
Bruce got in line since there was already a line forming to meet Hugh Hefner. I continued to go around and meet current Playmates and some of the older ones. The time for arrival appeared, and a crowd of paparazzi started to flash their bulbs as he came in with an entourage of blondes, all of whom I assumed were Playmates. The girls had on the shortest shorts; sexy jeans, little tank tops and t-shirts, and they all had their hair and makeup done to perfection. The media frenzy was unbelievable
Bruce and I had our camera, and we took as many pictures of him arriving as possible through the crowd of paparazzi. I had a picture taken with Hugh Hefner; I got to watch him come in, but only from a distance because I was in line holding our place. The line had started to curve into the following room. He stopped at a few of the Playmates’ tables and gave them hugs as he came in. The older ones and the younger ones. I thought that was really neat that he stopped to take the time. He posed with them and then headed to his area to start the massive line of people waiting to get autographs.
The neatest thing was to see what everyone had brought to have autographed. Many were not fans but business people who then would resell his signature. The most exciting ones were the first original 1953 Marilyn Monroe issue that about three people on the line had—it was a thrill to see one of these magazines up close. Others had large objects like Playboy Volleyballs and 50th Anniversary books. These anniversary editions and other memorabilia were more interesting than just a signed magazine and had bulk to it. I did not recognize the girls sitting next to him bought noticed they were all blondes. I personally thought they looked a little non Playboyish except for two of the girls. The others seemed a little rough. Not that I was an expert, but when you want someone to represent your entire organization and there are thousands of girls to choose from, you would figure they would have the most drop-dead assets and faces that would light up a room. Some of these young women didn’t. I was even more thrilled to see this because I was sizing up the competition. Not that I was downgrading them, but they looked like many girls at any bars or even close friends. They had the turn-around quick platinum hair, but otherwise nothing that jumped out of the room. Two girls were drop-dead gorgeous, and one was to the right of Hef and the other one was at the other end of the table. These two girls I couldn’t see picking if I was Hef. The gal to the right of Hef I later found out was Tina Jordan, Hef’s number-one girlfriend at the time. She would tell Hef what to write on each autographed item because there was so much noise that he could not hear what any of us were saying, and he just gave everyone a smile as if he understood what they were saying to him.
Hef got excited when the person in front of me had the first-edition Playboy, and when he handed it back to him signed Hef said “that just went up in value” (just from him signing it!). Seeing the young whippersnapper with it, I am sure Hef knew it wasn’t for him but for resale. He sneaked another one for Hef to sign, and Hef signed it without a hitch.
It was then my turn to step up to meet Hugh Hefner. I was more worried about getting a photo because I have always been addicted to photos, and Hef leaned forward and stretched out his body and neck to seem closer to me since he was on the other side of the signing table. I told him my name, and he looked over at Tina to find out what I had said and she relayed it back to him. He wrote “To Jill, Love Hugh Hefner” I said “I am so excited to meet you” He kindly smiled. I was excited. He said “You are beautiful, darling” I smiled and replied “Really? Thanks.” I walked away as high as a kite and started to jump up and down like a kid in a candy store because this was a huge compliment from such a powerful man.
I would later find out that the other stunning beauty at the table was Buffy Tyler sitting at the far end of the table. On my scale of Playmates, she is a 10. She also was an official Hugh Hefner girlfriend and was part of his entourage, but her month was the following month that she would be Miss November. That is why I had not recognized her because I had not seen that issue yet. She was signing her centerfold for everyone at I believe $20.00 a magazine. I did not get one because I only collected girls on the cover. I did watch her in awe and thought how exciting it was that she was getting to sign autographs and she looked like what you pictured they should look like.
I was thrilled. I had finally met the most powerful man in the Playboy business—the Playboy icon himself. Everyone was taking pictures and standing in line for autographs. The thing that impressed me the most was that he took time throughout the room to greet many of the girls from past Playboy years, giving them big hugs and thanking them. It seemed like such a family atmosphere. It seemed as if he was paternal almost, caring about each girl in his Playboy empire. Never in my wildest dreams would I think that later on I would find out this so-called paternal concern was anything but.
I could feel the excitement—the glitz—in the air. I wanted to be part of it. Hef was there only a short time and left with all the blondes in tow. The best thing was almost everyone there thought I was a Playmate just stopping by to visit the others. I was both flattered and motivated. I met a Playmate named Suzi Simpson who asked me what month I was.
Jill Ann: “Oh, no . . . I’m just here getting autographs, and I wanted to meet Hugh Hefner.”
Suzi: “You’re kidding. You are definitely Playmate material.”
I was fishing for information.
Jill Ann: “You think I should send my pictures to the magazine?”
Suzi: “Absolutely not! What you want to do is go directly to Santa Monica. They test for Playmates on Thursdays, and you need to call them and make an appointment. Tell them I sent you.”
I was breathless. This was the break or inside connection I needed.
Jill Ann: “Thank you so much. How I would get such a number to the Santa Monica office.
Suzi: “I can email it to you but otherwise you could call information or go to the Playboy website and there is only one Santa Monica office. Just call them up and tell them you want to be tested for a Playmate.”
She gave me her personal email address, and I thanked her for the information. Prior to going to L.A., I didn’t know about this test, so this was a big leg up on my list toward my goal. A few other Playmates chimed in while I was talking to Suzi. Kimberly Donley and Barbara Moore both were super supportive and saying such great things to me. Telling me I had to go to Santa Monica and that I was Playmate material!
This attractive blonde girl named Echo Johnson was signing magazines, and I waited patiently to get my cover signed. It was a cover with about five or so other girls in and around a telephone booth with Jerry Seinfeld. It seemed as if I had waited forever watching the gal talk on the phone to one of her friends. I was the only one at her booth, and I was a paying customer but where they were going to each lunch the following day was much more important. I laid my $20.00 on the table to get my magazine signed and she gave me back $5.00 in change still talking on the phone and signed the cover and handed it back to me and then turned away to continue talking. I decided to come back later when she wasn’t on the phone, but there was not a time that she was on the phone. I overheard her say that she was sitting around the pool at the mansion prior to coming to Glamourcon. I butted in and said “Wow, you were just at the mansion earlier.”
“Yeah, I stayed there overnight to go to Glamourcon today.”
I said “He just lets you come up whenever you like?”
She said, “Yes.” I was shocked by this mainly because she was not a current Playmate, and it was a few years back that she had done her spread. I thought that was really something you being able to come up whenever you wanted. I remarked, “That has to be great.” She shrugged her shoulders and squinted her forehead and eyes as to say I guess in her “blonde” language.
Since I had been collecting autographs on eBay I knew what items sold the best, and I had stopped at Wal-Mart on the way and picked up a five-pack of blank white underwear to get the playmates to sign. Why? Because other people were selling such things on eBay and they were getting a good amount of money for them. I figured why not pay for my trip to LA with a few things I could sell on eBay. I noticed Jennifer Walcott sitting at her table.

Jill Ann: “How much would it be to get a few pairs of these underwear signed?”

Jennifer: “I would never sign a pair of underwear. That is disgusting.”

Jill Ann: “Oh no they are brand-new.”

Jennifer: “You think that just because I posed for Playboy that I am that kind of girl? Well, I’m not and I won’t sign them.”

Jill Ann: “I am so sorry. I had seen some other Playboy girls selling signed underwear on Ebay so I figured I would do the same.”

Jennifer: “That is what gives Playboy girls a bad rap is a few stupid ones doing such a thing. I’m not that kind of girl. Just because I took my clothes off doesn’t mean I’m some bimbo.”

Not knowing how to get myself out of this embarrassing situation, I apologized and dashed away. I got many of magazines signed and got to have many conversations with older playmates. One told me that when she made the cover of Playboy it was taken with a Polaroid camera and not touched up at all. That actual photo went to print.

I had found out they were having a VIP party that night down in the hotel for certain special guests and booth holders. I figured it would be easy to find and it was. I walked right in without any hassle without an invitation that other people had. The entire party about three Playboy girls showed up out of all of the girls that were present earlier. I had heard girls earlier saying that if they were not getting paid to go they weren’t going to go. Lots of disappointed participants and of course like a regular bar night not enough girls to go around. I, too, left not wanting to be part of the 98 percent guy ratio scene. I would have stayed if one of the gals from earlier would have been there, but since it seemed no one was interested in having me join them I willingly left. The following day I asked a few of the gals where they went figuring there had to be another VIP party that I just missed. Most said they lived in California and just went back home. It was Sunday and the attendance was nearly half from the day before. Many of the gals didn’t even come back the following day to sign autographs even though it had listed they would be there signing. So I suggest if you go to this event make sure to go on Saturday. This is the best way and actually only way to easily get an autograph of Playmates and or Hugh Hefner.
Anyway, the event ended and I really felt positive about my chances of becoming a Playmate. I felt like nothing could stop me now.

Chapter Three
Sneaking in to the Playboy Mansion

In between my time scheduling my Playmate test shoot we took a bus from Grauman’s Chinese theatre to all the movie stars’ homes. Of course they did drive by the famous Playboy Mansion. I actually had not gone on the tour to see it. This was the first time I had seen it. Bruce and I had often thought about going on these tours but had never gone. We were there on business for the clothing stores and had taken a day off to goof around in Hollywood. After the tour was over, I wanted to drive by and check it out myself without having to be hurried. We did not have a vehicle on this trip so we had a rented driver in a Town Car come pick us up at the hotel. Now that we knew were the Playboy Mansion was, we were ready to try and get in. We asked our driver if he knew were it was (otherwise we were going to tell him). He said sure. Bruce said, in a playful voice, “Drive on, to the mansion.”
We ended up getting scared about trying to get in so we had the driver pass by the mansion and head down to in front of Tori Spelling’s house. There was a park nearby, so we walked over to it while the driver waited for us.
Taking our dog for a walk near the park, there was a movie being filmed near their house. It was already closing time. and it began to become dark. We drove up to the Playboy Mansion just to look at the lights and the gate from outside. Tons of cars were parked for a long distance up to the mansion. The cars were not parked there prior. We slowed down to get a good look at the front door when a security guard motioned us over. We rolled down the window, not sure what to make of his waving us down. He handed us a little map and told us that we could not drive up to the party that we had to go to UCLA. I told them my name and told them I was on the list; the security said no.
I’m nothing if not determined. I said, “How about cash is that on the list?” The guard smiled and said sorry that he could not take money either.
I said, “How about a thousand dollars to let us in?”
He said he wished he could, adding, “If you only knew how much we guys in security have been offered and had to turn it down, then maybe you would understand.” He said, “Go over to UCLA, maybe you are on the list over there!”
I thanked him and jumped back into the Town Car, headed with my map that he had given me with directions to the Playboy meeting place at UCLA. The driver, I, and Bruce discussed it, so we then decided, “What the heck, let’s go to UCLA.” We looked at the map, went into where the directions told us to go, and the lady at the gate said, “Oh sure go on in.” The driver was so cute, he was so excited, he thought getting in through this gate was all we needed to do and now we could get onto the shuttle to the mansion. He was hysterical: “We are in! We are in!”
Of course we were not so lucky. We parked and saw three people sitting at desks with A-H, I-O, and P-Z. We saw people walking up in pajamas, all dressed-up in robes, etc. The driver parked. On my sheet it said “Driver’s License required.” I thought this was another party for Playboy, but it was just where you have to go to get to the Playboy parties. They don’t have enough parking for everyone, so they make you leave your car at UCLA and then you are shuttled over to the mansion.
Sitting in the Town Car, I decided I was just going to be topless and wear a pair of underwear to the party because I knew that you had to be wearing lingerie. Bruce refused to wear no shirt and underwear, so he told me to go alone. Not knowing any of the rules or how to even go about it, I should have walked up wearing just underwear but instead I figured I would see if I could get in first and tell them I was going to change. I must have looked like an idiot, trying to pretend that my name was on the list, without any identification in hand. Instead of making me feel stupid though, they just kindly said that I was not on the list and that it was too late to put my name on the list and that I would have to wait for the next party. With my tail between my legs, I headed back to my vehicle in the close proximity for Bruce to unlock the door to let me in from the embarrassment.
Of course, now that I know all the ins and outs of Playboy parties, my first mistake was I walked up there with no nightgown on (this was a first telltale sign I was not really invited). Second, I got in the line for S, and of course my name was not on the list. Oh well, I tried. I bet they thought I was pretty funny. I asked two girls that were in line how they got invited and the one said that she had met Hef at a party and had been invited ever since. I was so sad; I begged them to let me in. I told them I had my nightgown in the car! I said to the lady, “It there any ay that I can get in?” She suggested sending my picture to the Playboy Mansion and that this was how many of the girls get to go to the party. I thanked her. I went back to the car, discussed it and told the boys. I said, “I didn’t try the money on them,” so I had Bruce handed me six hundred-dollar bills, and I went back up. This did not work either. We then decided to leave. Oh well, it was exciting trying. Bruce was really nice. He said that he did not think I would be able to get in with him so that if they let me in by myself that I was allowed to go since it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing and that he trusted me.
Now that I look back I had no idea that the person who created the entire party list was sitting right there in one of the lines. She was named Jenny. Not only was she in charge of the entire list she knew everyone who should be on it—she was a very sharp woman. The security was tighter then the FBI building with Jenny already having a picture of what you looked like and your correct spelling on the list. Also having to show identification to match to make sure that it was really the person on the list. Not only did they stamp your hand, but they checked the stamp two additional times: one when you get on the bus so you couldn’t even sneak upstairs and onto the bus to avoid the downstairs check-off. When you boarded the bus they checked for the stamp and then when you got off the bus they checked it again! This must be to make sure that none of the security guards can be bought off to let you in the mansion either.

Chapter Four
Playmate Test Shoot

It took a while to get an appointment in Santa Monica for a Playboy Test shoot because there were so many people on the list. I had maintained my workouts and diet, and I finally got my opportunity for my first test on December 7, 2000—about two months after my trip to L.A.
Before I arrived, I had the works: manicure, pedicure, hair, facial, bikini wax, and a fresh fake tan for the perfect glow. I arrived dressed in a pink sequined tube top, black cloth pants that hugged my body, sexy black heels, and a white fluffy cropped jacket that had an almost Marilyn Monroe aura about it.
Worried about being late and not sure how far the drive was from Los Angeles to Santa Monica we drove about two and a half hours ahead of time and had about two hours to kill when we arrived in front of the Playboy office. By the time my appointment arrived my hair was flat and my makeup was barely there. Still not really great at doing my makeup or even thinking about bringing a touch-up kit I had nothing to make myself look any different. I had little to no makeup on with some mascara and rosy red cheeks. I couldn’t go back now and change things because I had already waited two months for the appointment.
I entered the office having Bruce drop me off back away from the front door to make it look like I arrived alone. A girl and guy were in the waiting room, and she was filling out paperwork. I signed in, and they gave me a test application. I provided the following information: Measurements 38-25-35, 118 pounds, 5 feet 7 inches tall, blonde, blue eyes, 30 years of age, no piercings (including ears), no tattoos, and was currently a resale clothing shop owner. I wrote that my hobbies were poker and playing with my beloved poodle. I purposely did not mention too much about the poker because I was trying out for Playmate, and if I didn’t make it I would try a different approach.
During the wait for my turn the gentleman waiting there started to flirt with me.
Guy: Oh my god I can’t believe I am getting to meet you in person. Can I get a hug just one hug?
Jill Ann: Sure, but I’m not anyone famous.
Guy: Yeah right! [Pointing to a big picture on the wall of a Playmate (can’t remember if it was Anna Nicole or Victoria Silverstedt that he pointed to)] He insisted it was me and I just smiled.
The people behind the counter seemed to start to get annoyed with the guy, and I felt bad for his girl who was with him because he needed to act like she was the most beautiful girl on the planet. That’s what Bruce has always done with me. I have always been his princess.
An official Playboy photographer came out and had to pry him away to get him to stop speaking enough for him to take me to the back room. I gave him his hug and made my way to the back with the photographer. As we walked down the halls, gigantic life- size covers of Playboy filled the walls: Anna Nicole’s Playboy Issue, Pamela Anderson’s Playboy Issue, Cindy Crawford’s Playboy Issue, and Jenny McCarthy’s Playboy Issue.
I could feel my pants becoming wet from the excitement and the feel of being whisked away to wonderland past walls of the most beautiful girls in the world. It was like a Playboy Museum.
My heart was pounding—excited and scared. This would be the first time I had ever posed nude, but I felt confident that my hard work and cosmetic surgery would pay off. The photographer led me into a room, told me to put on the silky robe hanging by the door and to come out when I was ready.
The floor was filthy with debris and hair and I put my feet on my own outfit to make sure that the bottom of my feet would not be black, in case they happened to be photographed. When I walked out no one was there, but they were doing a photo shoot in a big room to the right with another girl. Tons of staff was in the room with the girl buck naked. It didn’t seem odd, but there were a lot of people seeming to do nothing but watching. My photographer was nowhere to be found, so I patiently waited there covered up in my robe for his return. Finally he came to my rescue from the stupid look I had on my face of standing there undressed, nervous and not sure of what to do with myself.
He led me back down a hallway to a small dimly lit room. Closing the door behind me and leaving just the two of us in the room, he had of all things a Polaroid. I was surprised just because they tell you to send in Polaroid’s but never thought they would use them. I figured they would have a regular camera or digital. Pointing to the door there was a place to hang my robe and he informed me I could put my robe there. I slowly took off my robe and was standing there with nothing on but my heels.
He showed me a few positions that were customary for them to take pictures of and demonstrated the first one for me. I mimicked immediately, and he snapped the Polaroid. He then had me lean up against the wall and give the Playboy stance and he snapped another Polaroid. Then on the couch that was in the room he asked met to arch my back on my knees and look back. I felt very nervous and my heart was still jumping out of my chest. I would have thought being in a room with just one person would make me more comfortable, but it made me more nervous. I felt weird being naked in a room with a stranger, while meanwhile my boyfriend outside was waiting in the vehicle around the block.
After about eight Polaroid shots in a variety of positions, all designed to imitate the poses you see in Playboy all the time—some with that sort of “peek-a-boo” playfulness, I said, “It’s so hot today. My makeup is almost gone.”
“It’s better with less makeup. That way they can see you raw. Don’t worry about it. You’re perfect—absolutely gorgeous!”
“Oh, you say that to all the girls.”
“Really, I don’t,” he said.
I must have smiled a mile wide. He wanted me to look at the pictures. I didn’t want to and just glanced quickly at them.
“We’ll be calling you for sure either tomorrow or first thing Monday.”
He smiled and nodded.
He led me back to the room where my clothes were. I changed back into my clothes and headed out to the car where Bruce was waiting around the corner. I talked all the way back to the hotel. I was sure that, with the photographer being so confident, I would make it. I was on cloud nine and had no intention of getting off quickly. My cell phone went with me everywhere. The following day came, and every time the phone rang I was instantly sick to my stomach as I picked it up to see who it was.
Friday went by with no call from the Playboy office. It seemed that the weekend would never end for my impatience to have Monday arrive. Monday I was so nervous I was afraid to answer it if it did ring. As the day went on and no one called from Playboy I began to contemplate a million things through my head. Was this good they were taking longer to call or was this bad? Maybe they were doing a background check or maybe they were not going to use me and then decided to get a second opinion. I was going over and over it in my head why I had not received the call.
By Wednesday the 13th with no call, I called the Santa Monica office. I spoke to Tashanna Williams in Playmate Submissions and told her what the photographer had said.
“Our procedure is to send out a letter,” she explained.
“But the photographer seemed very sure that they would call me directly.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to tell you.”
While waiting for the letter I decided to e-mail Suzi Simpson, Miss January 1992, and contacted her via e-mail on December 13, 2000. I brought her up to speed on the week’s events and wondered if that had been her experience as well.
On Wednesday the 20t,h I received a letter from the Santa Monica Playboy Office: It basically told me that though the photos were good, they only select twelve centerfolds a year—from thousands of girls—and I didn’t make it. They reminded me how tough the competition was and signed off pleasantly.
The letter was written the same day I had called her. I didn’t understand. The photographer was so positive. What had happened between him and the editors? Was it only his opinion? Naturally, I was already concerned about my age and that was the first thing that came to mind. The photographer did not return my data sheet when I left. Maybe he was sure I was perfect but when the editors noticed I was thirty, they decided to pass. I decided to write Tashanna back.
I just could not understand that if it was procedure to write a letter why a photographer would flat-out tell you they were going to be calling you Friday or Monday. They wouldn’t purposely give girls hopes for no reason. This would be stupid and a waste of their time. He said I was perfect, and he would call, so what had gone wrong?

I received my regret letter on December 19th turning my application down. I was wondering if there was a special edition or lingerie I could do. I had left it blank where the application asked what I was applying for because I was open to anything Playboy would want me for. Can I have those pictures back to forward to a different department or is this decision final for anything with Playboy? I met …Suzi Simpson, Kimberly
Donley and Barbara Moore back in October and they all thought I would be perfect… I know you must have a million people call and write you … Please fax or mail back a response or advice. You can also reach me on my cell.

She called me back. “The editors said that even for special editions or lingerie they were not interested at this time. I’m sorry.”
I asked if I could have the photographer call me back directly so that I could just speak with him. She asked me who took my photos. Drawing a blank since I didn’t write it down I asked if she could look to see who was working that day. She said she was not able to do such a thing. I was back to square one. But I also know any dream worth having is worth pursuing to the fullest.

Chapter Five
Making the Cover of Poker Digest

After speaking to different people, I found that if I was not in print somewhere or had national exposure an article would not be done on me for poker. I had won a lot of money playing Texas Hold ‘em. I actually bought almost all my jewelry, furniture, etc. from the game. I had done well in many tournaments around the local area—California and Nevada. I named my dog “Hold ‘em” for the love and passion I have for the game. I realized this was, maybe, my edge.
I was one of the few successful Texas Hold ‘em Women players in the United States and was known by hundreds of the top players in the business. This was before the huge poker craze you see now. I had never entered a huge tournament such as the World Series of Poker that costs $10,000 to enter. These events get you lots of exposure if you win. I was professional enough to win money, but I was not a gambler. I knew it when I started playing years ago. Texas Hold ‘em is one of the few casino games that are not played against the house. It is played directly against the
players at the table. This is why you will not find many poker rooms in the large casinos in Vegas because they do not make enough profit for the house. The house makes money by taking a drop (a little bit of money) for each hand played. You could lose hundreds of dollars and the house would not gain any more than the forced drop per hand. This is one reason that you will get hardly any comps in Vegas when playing because they really don’t want you to play. Comps mean the casino, if you are a big gambler, lets you stay for free.
Anyhow, since I had not won a large event, or even entered one, for me to get noticed and be in one of the nationwide poker magazines I would need to win a large tournament. Or would I? I was playing poker at a local casino in Arizona when I spoke to a guy sitting next to me. It was a fluke—or fate. He was from Vegas and was a known writer for Poker Digest. I batted my eyes, my mind spinning, and asked him to dinner at a nice restaurant in the casino. He had done the last cover of Poker Digest. Bruce accompanied me.
I made a proposal to the writer: “You need to write a story about me for the magazine. I’ll pay you to write the story and if you can get it on the cover I’ll give you a $500 bonus.”
“Good idea, good material. I think I can make this work,” he said.
Why not? I was a professional poker player, good looking, and well known. I hadn’t won a national title, but I was still a local champ. We emailed back and forth, and I wrote many pages for him to make his story.
Here is the unedited version of what I sent the writer of Poker Digest Magazine:

Jill Ann Spaulding, Age 30, Birth date 4-29-70, Bust 38, Waist 25, Hips 35, 118 pounds, 5’7”, blue eyes, blonde hair, never married, only child. Never pregnant, I have an 8-pound toy poodle named Hold ‘em after my favorite game. No tattoos and nothing pierced, not even my ears.
I was born in Phoenix, Arizona, and moved to Washington State when I was four and grew up in a very small town called Granite Falls. I lived there until I was fourteen years of age, and then our family moved back to Phoenix. My major interest in high school was retail marketing. I won a lot of trophies for Apparel and Accessories. I graduated from Mountain View High School in Mesa, Arizona, on the honor roll. I had a job at a donut shop. I was a tool girl at the swap meet and worked at Miller’s Outpost my senior year. I moved out when I was eighteen. I had saved up enough for a large down payment on a mobile home and purchased my own mobile home for $31,500. My monthly payment was $333.38. Why at such a young age did I have so much money saved up? My father was a consistent influence in my life. Every conversation was about money. When I think back on my childhood, I remember my parents would fight about money. I vowed to never have this as one of the arguments in my life. This is why it was easy to save money. I wanted to move out! When my parents found out that I had saved up this much money, instead of being proud of me, they assumed I was having sex for money, selling drugs, or blackmailing someone. I guess I did not have a good rapport at home. I had actually saved the money not doing any of those things. By the age of eighteen, I had never been drunk, never smoked or taken anything illegal. The worst thing I ever did was to send a lot of Pizza Hut pizzas to a guy who broke up with me when I was seventeen.
My family was very happy to see me move out. I was a teenaged know-it-all. Actually my family did make a winner out of me. I had been drilled and lectured for so many years that I was determined to put what I knew to good use. My biggest motivation was that my mother was certain I would be back living at home in six months and would have lost my down payment. I didn’t even have a job when I bought the trailer. I soon got a job working at Village Inn. I didn’t make much on tips; the patrons were mostly coffee drinkers. I had worked my entire shift on Christmas day and when I was about to leave I was told that if I did not stay and work a double shift that they would be firing me. How little did they know if they would have just asked me I would’ve stayed. I decided to let myself go and took off my apron and walked out. I tried several different types of work, but nothing really clicked.
I loved to organize so I decided to start cleaning homes. I put an ad in the local paper, and before long I was doing nothing else. After one year I had over 100 employees and was no longer cleaning—but managing and training. Within two and a half years I had paid off my trailer. I owned it and the land free and clear.
Finally at the age of twenty-one, I went to a little country bar on Valentine’s night. I went alone. As it happened, a man I had met a week earlier was there, alone as well. Bruce Gifford was forty-three (twenty-two years my senior). It never occurred to me that we would have anything permanent because of the age difference. He showed up at my door for a casual evening with roses and candy. I was hooked. My family was not. They threatened to disown me. My father threatened to kill him. We didn’t speak for almost five years. Not just because of Bruce—there were other issues as well. Now my mom and I talk a couple of times a year. My father and I do not have a relationship anymore. Bruce and I have been together the entire time.
I admit he is the father figure I longed for because my dad and I were never close even when I was a toddler. We never did marry because of Bruce’s family’s reaction and my family’s reaction. At this point we probably never will. For anyone curious, his wife was involved with another man before I ever met Bruce, and she is married to this guy till this day. This will hopefully stop any questions. As for me being with him for his money, he did not have any money at all. He only had his job and the clothes on his back. He was left with virtually nothing. He came out of the entire relationship with no house, no vehicle. The only thing that he was left with was half of his retirement, which was $15,000. He is my best friend, and I feel this is why the relationship works.
Taking a few steps back, I opened a new and recycled clothing store. Why? I was ridiculed when I went to school for not having all the name brands. I named the store Name Brand Exchange. It fit. One day I woke up and took stock of my life. The trailer was paid off, and I decided I didn’t want to deal with the employees in my cleaning business anymore. It took about six months to get up the inventory to open my new store. It was an exciting time—and still is. I love it. Not every day did I love it, though. I got so stressed out from employees stealing, quitting, or me having to fire them for ridiculous things. I was at my wit’s end. I had moved into a new house and had it paid off in two years. I paid $125,000 for it so it wasn’t so easy to close the doors or sell the business that was making good money. I went to a doctor for the stress. He advised me to double the employees’ pay and don’t go back. That was three years ago, and I have held true to my commitment. I don’t make as much money, but my employees are well-paid, they don’t quit, and I don’t have to see the place. I still make a comfortable living and can play poker every day of the week. Life is great. My passion is going to the movies. That is my other hobby. I can get completely immersed in a movie and take myself away.
I live in a large house now. It was paid off until recently when I purchased two commercial pads to build a small 8,000 square foot strip mall. I’m in debt again. I will be putting my store in about 3,800 square feet and renting out the rest, planning to use this for my retirement. I still work out three times a week with weights and riding my bike. My favorite shows are reruns of Ally McBeal and Sex and the City.

Chapter Six
Why Poker

I was nineteen—and Harrah’s first opened in Arizona. Bruce and I were psyched and went out there to play the slot machines. Having lost all of our money we had set aside for slots, we wandered through the casino trying to find something else to do. We found an instructional table of seven-card stud for free, with fake money. After a little persuasion I talked Bruce into sitting down. We learned how to play right then and there. I was not hooked yet. Marques, the instructor that day, advised me on how and what to play. I was doing so well he convinced me to enter a tournament to get some cheap, free practice. I entered the “name” tournament that day. A week later I won second place and approximately $800. That’s when I got hooked, and I’ve been playing ever since.
Why do I love poker? To me, it’s like a great big party that doesn’t end until you want it to. You can come and play any time you want, day or night. If you play the same casino, you will always recognize many of the players and most of the dealers. Like going to a local place, it has a sense of camaraderie. Over the years, all these people have become friends. Most people know me by my first name. Now I am known all over the world because of poker. I have many friends in Europe, Australia, Canada, France, and many other countries—all thanks to poker. I love the sensation of my heart in a flutter when I get a great hand. I love the adrenalin from check-raising, re-raising, folding, and bluffing. It is an incredible drug I cannot get enough of—but I am sensible enough to know when to stop. I know all of the world champions and have played against most of them in poker tournaments on “my” same table. I consider myself a professional poker player because when I tally my wins against my losses, I’m in the black. My favorite casino is any one that has a Texas Hold ‘em game.
Women should love playing poker. Their husbands or boyfriends could stay playing longer—which they would love—and since there are not as many women poker players we do get all of the attention. Everyone is so nice to me.
Back to poker, being a woman playing poker has its difficulties. It seems especially that, with blonde hair, most men figure I don’t know how to play. Bluffing is sometimes impossible with many of the gentlemen because they always assume that I don’t know what I have or that I don’t have anything. In turn, I will then have to play very conservatively because they will call me down. I will need to have the best hand, but again, they will drop because I have to play so conservatively they will know I have a hand. This relates to the good players, of course.
The comical thing about being a woman playing poker is that some men are such gentlemen that they will not raise me or even bet. I will think I have a good hand and keep betting, and then they turn over this monstrous hand. I was the one betting . . . they were nicely checking as gentlemen. Oops. This is confusing. When men check (which means they are not trying to “raise” me,) I think they are weak and I will bet, but a lot of times they are strong and just being nice to the “little lady.” So, the button advantage is different for me because of this. I don’t mind. I love everything about poker, and I understand that many of the men don’t like a woman playing poker. They feel it’s a man’s game. I’m just glad to be a part of the action and am having the time of my life. And, as you can see . . . I am no “dumb blonde.” I have to think through all the various possibilities at the table in order to win the way I do.

Chapter Seven
Strip Clubs

As a girl, maybe a little too liberated, I would accompany my man to strip clubs. The funniest of thing is, knowing that he could go made him not as interested in going. I think one of the reasons guys go is because it is often considered a taboo. Not all guys I am sure. But if you can get on an equal standing on this issue with your man, I think they won’t want to go. I might have been more of a party pooper when we would go to strip clubs. Not that I meant to be, but I would say things his guy friends probably wouldn’t say. I would always sit right up front closest to the rail because I wanted to get the best view. Guys that are sometimes shy or cheap try to sit back so that they don’t have to tip each dancer that appears on the stage. Not me! I tipped each dancer and would get so much attention because girls get bigger tips if they are teasing girls especially in the audience. The girls would put dollars on my head and remove them with their breasts. Make me put the dirty money in my mouth and removed it with their breasts. I would get a kick out of it and had so much fun. I was amazed what they would do for a dollar. I would get bored right away and be like “come on, get the next dancer out on the stage.” The guys liked to watch because when a girl would do such a thing I was so embarrassed I would close my eyes and never watch. This made it I guess even more exciting for them. However, I never did get a lap dance from a girl. That was just too much for me.
I remember one night in Vegas a girl came by and asked if Bruce wanted a dance. He looked at me and I said sure—let’s go for it! Bruce usually just wouldn’t spend $20 for a lap dance, but this night I said how much for both of us and she said double. So we went into a private room, and she danced for both of us. Her breasts were huge, and she was blonde. She did more pounding then dancing which I guess if I had a guy part it would have been good but on a girl it was mostly annoying. I wanted her to do some dance so I could learn how to do it for Bruce in our own home. It was fun and it lasted a whole five minutes or less and we went back out to the floor.
I had my rules even though we were in a club. A few years later, we were at the same club and a girl that Bruce had mentioned was beautiful asked if he wanted a dance. It is difficult for your man in a club to not say anything to upset you. It is already a slightly tense situation. It was fun when I was getting the attention, but it was better when he was not. That is why it is tough for your guy to have as much fun as they would on their own when they are inhibited and not worried about what you are thinking. He mentioned that one girl was gorgeous and she had dark long black hair and was pierced everywhere. This was an all nude strip club so when I mean everywhere, I mean everywhere. Instead of enjoying that he was having a good time, I was thinking, “Okay, you fucking want me to change my hair color—done! You fucking want me to get my nipples pierced—done!” I agreed that he could have a lap dance, and he willingly went. We had been to this club many times. When we were in sin city and feeling crazy, I had watched many of guys get lap dances, and you could see them in little booths across from the stage. They would barely play a song and the guy would be back in his chair. My guy left and figuring he would be the same as the other twenty fellows in the club, he told me he’d “be right back.” I didn’t watch him walk away and turned back to the stage. I had been in the booth and nothing had gone on when I was there. One song played and he did not return. Two songs played and he did not return. Three songs played, and by this song I was searching with my eyes to figure out where the heck he was. By the fourth song I was out of there.
I went to the front door and jumped in a cab and left. I went back to the hotel and believed that was the last night we were
going to be together. Getting back to the hotel without a key, in a rip-roaring mood, I had to prove my credentials to get a room key. When he finally arrived back at the hotel a half hour later, I was already packed and overly pissed.
He was freaked as well, Looking back on it a little humorously; the hotel had changed the door key, so his key didn’t work any longer!
I said the first thing that came into my mind. “What took you so long? Your credit card wouldn’t go through?”
Bruce replied, “No, Jill Ann, I couldn’t believe you had really left so I went searching all over the place for you. That is when I asked the door guy if he had seen a big-breasted blonde with a blue dress and heels. He informed me that you had left in a cab.”
I was pissed and screamed “It’s over!”
Trying to defend himself he insisted, “Jill Ann, I didn’t have
sex with her. Please don’t be so upset.”
I retorted with my hands on hips, “I waited over four songs and
you didn’t return.”
Again with the excuses he replied, “She made me buy her a drink first and then she talked and I just wanted a dance.”
I just didn’t believe him and snapped, “Whatever.”
He demanded, “You have to believe me. I would never do
anything to jeopardize our relationship.”
I was so angry, I just said, “Fuck you.”
We went back and forth for some time and after much manipulation we ended up having sex. He argued that he would not have been able to perform within an hour’s time if he did anything with that girl and that this would prove it.
I don’t think I had ever been that crazed before and haven’t since. But the combination of tons of alcohol and a naked girl missing with my man was too much for me to take. However, I did know he was speaking the truth. Bruce was older than I was, and his “return time” after sex was usually at least five hours. He said firmly, “We are not going to go to any more strip clubs.” I said, “No, the strip clubs have not been a problem, but back room dancing was! If you want to have a lap dance then it is in front of me not in some shady back room.” He said “I’m just not going to any more strip clubs.”
Of course we have been since, but he has yet to have a lap dance in a private room or even in front of me and we have only gone lately with friends and other couples. I guess I am liberated, but only within certain boundaries.

Chapter Eight
My Playboy Photo Shoot in Chicago

Why pose for Playboy? As I mentioned before, I was getting older and most people I met thought I had posed for them! So I thought I better do it before it’s too late! You know, it kind of reminds me of when Samantha posed in the nude on Sex and the City. In that episode, she decided to get nude photos taken of herself. Of course, her three pals thought this was a little odd. But Samantha said something like when she was ninety and her ass was falling, she could look back on those pictures and think, I was hot. I guess I honestly was just embracing the idea that this was something I wanted to do. Mainly I really wanted to go to the Playboy mansion and go to some of those crazy parties!
You may think the exciting life of a woman gambler, would be enough. Actually, poker just wasn’t respected as a sport a few years back or even as popular as it is today. The poker world has had a real transformation and acceptability like no other time in history. Just think, there are currently two prime TV shows based in Las Vegas. Fortunately, there is a real poker boom for kids of all ages happening now, but just a few years ago it wasn’t as mainstream. Now there are so many websites catering to poker players. Mine, of course, is one of the better ones. Check it out: But five years ago, it just wasn’t the be-all end-all for parties and exposure. Don’t get me wrong, I love poker and fortunately, I am very successful player. I do love winning! And especially when I am the only woman at the table. Men get so distracted by a blonde with big tits! It’s my secret advantage, I guess.
And then I thought about what my mother taught me, and I’m sticking to it. Keep him tired, and he won’t cheat. Let him look. What’s the harm? So I tried to follow the rules of plenty of water, sex, and food—the basic necessities for a man. If you tell men they cannot look, they look more or become obsessed that they can’t look! Just like a schoolgirl not being able to wear makeup and putting it on when she gets to school and washing it off before she returns home. So what did I do? I ordered Playboy television and Playboy magazine. I took him to any strip bar that he wanted to see. This way I wouldn’t wonder what he was doing there. I got to see it up close.
I always enjoyed the jokes in the Playboy magazines but never had read an article in them. Does anyone? I would look at all the pictures in the magazine and wonder what it would be like. My favorite part was the front section “Hanging with Hef,” which would have tons of pictures of Hef with celebrities and Playmates hanging out at the mansion. They looked like they were having so much fun! I guess I just wanted more than a glimpse of the world I had seen in the pages of a magazine—a fantasy come to life. I always felt I was the girl next door type that Playboy is famous for. I am very honest, down to earth, and feel that everyone has something good inside.
I had already done all the hard work and was really getting my body in excellent shape. So it was finally time to start working harder on obtaining my goal of getting in to Playboy. Seeking out all the information, and finding all the ways I could penetrate the Playboy scene. Remember, too, that my store was self-sufficient. That’s not to say I didn’t have to oversee it, but frankly, I had the leisure time to play! I had the leisure time to try to obtain this goal. If I had been working sixty hours a week, I probably wouldn’t have even had the energy, but I was lucky enough to have worked so hard when I was younger, and now I could take a few months and just try to do this.
It seems being a well-known Poker Player along with my gorgeous body got me the attention I needed to succeed.

* * * * *

While I started planning my Playboy debut, I also entered to play in the World Series of Poker (WSP) and the Tournament of Champions (TOC). I had not previously entered one of these large events yet, as I had been preparing in the smaller tournaments in Vegas to make sure I was ready.

I needed exposure and decided to set my sights on making it on the cover of Poker Digest first. I knew that if I was going to make the cover that the picture would have to be terrific. So I started working up an idea that would be so good that they would want me to be on their cover. I also decided that if I was going to submit my pictures to Playboy that I would want them as great as they could be, not from my own personal camera with whatever lighting was in the room. I realized that this was the perfect opportunity to do both at the same time, a perfect shot for Poker Digest and a great nude for Playboy. I decided to stage my own photo shoot. Again, I am the type of person who believes you can take control of your own destiny. I called my favorite makeup artist who had originally helped me to learn how to improve my skills and told her what I had in mind. She recommended a photographer, and we discussed all the details and plans for the photo shoot including the pricing, which was huge but I had no choice if I was to achieve my goal! To save some money we did the photo shoot at my house.
I tried hard to explain my goals to all the people involved. I had the perfect purple card table and all the props to play poker. I was so excited—it was all coming together. If you can imagine this, I had every centerfold I ever loved opened out on top of the pool table for inspiration. I practiced how to stand, and tried to emulate the pictures Playboy had published. I had tried on every high-heeled pair of shoes I owned for the shoot. Both the photographer and Bruce had the final decision on the shoe selection. And I have to say, it was very empowering to be in control of my own shoot. I was the boss!
This was the second time ever in my life I posed nude. And I must say it was very exciting. The makeup artist spent about an hour working on me. However, once I started working with the photographer it seemed he was inexperienced, and I am sorry to say unprofessional.
Everything was there, so even thought I sensed he didn’t know what he was doing, I just couldn’t walk away now. I thought for sure we could get some great shots of me playing cards, but I knew we also needed the shot that I was planning to send to Playboy. After a while I got a little anxious. Just about the entire shoot his equipment continued to fail or the flash would not go off. He didn’t seem to know how a woman should look or how I should angle myself. I would show him a few pictures in the Playboy magazine and never once did he suggest tilting my head or angling this way or that, etc. I had told him prior to the shoot what I was looking for but he just was not crafty enough to run his own equipment and set up a shot. I was so disappointed in this photographer. I had the vision that I wanted, but it just wasn’t going to happen with this guy. He gave me all the rolls of film and told me the best place to have them developed. When I got them back they were mostly dark, without light, it was a waste of time and money. I was so disappointed! It seems I had the brains and imagination to stage this shoot, but I couldn’t very well take the pictures myself!
About this time, I heard back from Suzi Simpson. This is her email from January 31st, 2001.

Hi Jill!
I just found this e-mail. So sorry I didn’t get to you sooner. I get over 600 e-mails a day . . . a bit overwhelming. Anyways I hope they loved you! I’ve seen them reject goddesses and wonder to myself how I ever made it. I’d be happy to put you on my site if that would help you get traffic back to yours!

I responded on 2-2-01:

Dear Suzi,
I got turned down. I got my regret letter about a week later. I really felt that I had a chance since the photographer said that they would be calling me the next day or first thing the following Monday. Then when Wednesday came and no one had called I spoke to the lady who writes the regret letters and said that she did not understand why the photographer said this, that they contact everyone by mail and it would be about two weeks, and then the following week I got the letter from her saying no. I have not given up though, I just had some other pictures taken, and I am going to send them in again. This is what she suggested doing; just keep sending them in, so I am. That is so nice of you to offer to put me on your site; I will think about this. I don’t have a site at all, but if I get one, I will sure take you up on it. I will put you on my site also. I will write and tell you the latest news. Thanks for all of your support. I really want to just some day go to the Playboy mansion, I just have dreamed about it, and this is the main reason that I wanted to pose—just to go. I want to see the grounds, the mansion, the exotic animals, and just what goes on there. I went to bid on being able to go to the mansion on but it goes for $10,000 almost every time! This is what gave me the idea to pose and I thought that maybe I wouldn’t have to pay the $10,000. I want to go before I get married because I probably won’t be allowed to go after I’m married. Well, lots of love and luck.

About a month later, she responded on 3-1-01:

Hi Jill!
There’s an event coming up in April called “Road to the Playboy Mansion.” Check it out because if you know any corporate people it’s a tax write-off and you could be their “Hot Date.” I’m going to be there working, and it should be one heck of a party. It’s impossible to get in anymore, but this could be a good way and if Hef saw you maybe he’d pick you to be a centerfold.
You’re pretty, don’t give up! Suzi

I didn’t go to the event, but it was nice that she thought of me. Again, I was fooled . . . I thought everyone would be like Suzi. I thought there was a “sisterhood” of Playmates. I also took heart from her telling me not to give up. She could just have easily written, “Oh, it’s such a shame. Too bad. “But instead she seemed to think I had that unmistakable “something.”
So, I sent a few of the pictures that I liked best and the story to the writer for Poker Digest. He submitted the story, and the edgy, sexy profile on me was a hit. The writer did get many of the facts incorrect all the way down to stating my dog’s name was Aces. Who knows how he dreamed up this name, as my dog’s name has always been Holdem. The magazine was perfect. I had made the cover, and to top it off, it was during the biggest two weeks in poker—Binion’s World Series of Poker, where every champion from far and wide attended—and there was my picture on the cover. When I went to Binion’s, not only did I sign autographs and take pictures with everyone, I was a semi-celebrity. It was terrific. The magazine came out April 20-May 3, 2001, Vol. 4/No. 9 $2.95. I was on the top of a purple card table and the cover read “Poker’s Wonder Girl Jill Ann Spaulding: Advantages and Disadvantages of being a Female Poker Player.” It was a four-page article with full color pictures. It was just what I needed. I was so excited to try again. Loaded with my Poker Digest magazine and my nude photos taken from the same photo shoot, I was ready to send my submission to Playboy. I contacted the writer from Poker Digest and told him I was ready for him to write the letter for me to Playboy. We e-mailed back and forth and came up with the following:

I just discovered a poker player who wins major tournaments—and she’s gorgeous!
You’re probably aware that poker is the most popular card game in America, and its appeal is growing internationally, as is evidenced by the growing number of poker tournaments in England, Australia, Germany, France, and the Caribbean. Although more men than women enjoy the game, its appeal is spreading to the fairer sex.
Jill Ann Spaulding is a stunning blonde whose measurements are 38–24–35 and are proof of the game’s popularity.
The enclosed article and photos speak for themselves. Jill Ann is a very unusual woman who would, I feel, make a welcome contribution to your magazine.
1. She has an incredible body and has cover girl good looks. The editors of POKER DIGEST felt that was the case, and I hoped you agree.
2. She works out regularly to keep in shape.
3. By age eighteen, she had saved enough money to buy her own home and launched a successful business
4. She began playing poker and got so good at it she became a professional, traveling many months out of the year playing in major poker tournaments. Her ambition: to win the World Series of Poker. She knows poker players all over the world, and is acquainted with many poker legends including
Amarillo Slim Preston, Puggy Pearson, Oklahoma Johnny Hale, John Bonetti, Tom McEvoy, Johnny Chan, T.J. Cloutier and Phil Hellmuth, who, at twenty-four, became the youngest person to ever win the World Series of Poker.
Would Playboy be interested in doing a photo article on Spaulding? I believe your readers would be interested in her philosophy that older men make better lovers. Her skill in a male-dominated game and a disciplined training program that has given her a perfectly proportioned body would also appeal to Playboy readers. I am a journalist and magazine writer with some
2,400 articles published in PEOPLE WEEKLY (I served as Arizona correspondent for eight years), WESTERN HORSEMAN, FORD TIME, SKI MAGAZINE, TV TIME, and ALASKAN AIRWAYS, HUSTLER, THE STAR, ENQUIRER, SEX OLOGY and many other publications.
If you are interest in pursuing the project you can call me at XXX-XXXX or e-mail me at I would appreciate the return of the enclosed photos when you are finished with them. Thank you for your consideration.
Geno Lawrenzi
Director of Marketing-Publicity

I received two regret letters. I sent the above letter to the Chicago office and also to the Santa Monica office. The letters were almost the same as the one I got from the first Playmate test. Basically, they reminded me how fierce the competition was . . . and I was just not quite right.
I waited about three month’s of the same year around July or August and sent them again and received the same response.
I resubmitted them again the first of February and received a very similar response thanking me for submitting . . . but no.
To top it off the photographer that I had paid so much to do the shoots was suing me and Poker Digest for using his pictures without paying him additional fees. This was such bull crap because he was informed what the pictures were going to be used for ahead of time. That they were going to be shot for the cover and inside the magazine. I told him that is why I had hired him because they aren’t photographers, they asked me to send in pictures of myself and that was what they were gong to print. I wanted the pictures so great they would have to use them for the cover. Poker Digest paid the creep and I had to sign saying I would not use the pictures without his knowledge prior to print. This was one thing I learned since this was my first staged photo shoot—get everything in writing because there are many starving photographers and even though they tell you one thing they have the rights to your photos if you don’t have them sign an agreement. Even though it was verbal, his lawyer scared me enough to just agree to whatever he said.
Well, with all of the surgeries, the frustration, the pain, the workouts, the let-down, I decided to submit my pictures to I had only submitted to Playboy for Playmate or for an inside article in the magazine. I really did not want to do The magazine was the pinnacle. Twelve women a year are chosen, so there was something about that cache. However, it was the year 2000 when I started this venture, and now it was 2002! Not that I knew I would be chosen, but looking at the competition, I felt that it was a much easier option based on four girls online a month, and overall fifty-two girls a year—instead of twelve for the entire year for the magazine. (Hey, as a poker player, I know all about the odds, and my chances online were better!) I had this article that I had printed out from many months prior so I decided to submit my Poker Digest magazine, the following letter and three pictures of me nude.

MODEL SEARCH is looking for women 18 and older for upcoming pictorials, features and other modeling opportunities. Please send photos – preferably a full body shot and a headshot – in any format, demonstrating your finest features and a clear copy of a photo ID that shows date of birth. Send them to Jill Norton, Photo Editor, Playboy Online, 680 N. Lake Shore Drive 14th Floor, Chicago, Il 60611. While nudity is not required, it is preferred. Please include any information about yourself that may be interesting to us. Selected candidates will be brought in to our Chicago offices to be tested by a photographer.
I sent my letter to Jill Norton and called about a week later to follow up to see if she had received my pictures, letter, and magazine only to find out that she was no longer with the company. They gave me two different names that had taken over her department: John Thomas and Chad Doering. I immediately made two new packages with my pictures, letter, and magazine
for these two gentlemen. I sent the packages certified mail, return receipt requested, on February 6, 2002.

Dear (Jill Norton, John Thomas, and Chad Doering):
I would love to become a cyber girl. I am 5’7’ blonde hair, blue eyes, 118 pounds 38-24-35. What makes me unique is that I am Poker’s Wonder Girl. I am one of the most famous women poker players and I was recently (April 2001) put on the cover of Poker Digest, a nationwide magazine, with a full-page story about my life. I know that I am thirty-one and it is probably over your age limit, but many of the most beautiful photographed women in the world are around my age (Jennifer Lopez 31, Lucy Liu 33, Faith Hill 34, Nicole Kidman 34, Ashley Judd 33, Mariah Carey 32, Gwyneth Paltrow 29, Sarah Jessica Parker 36, Julia Roberts 34, and Cameron Diaz 29). A recent playmate was twenty-nine (Tina Marie Jordan). Please make an exception. I am willing to travel at my expense, take off whatever time is necessary for events.

The same day I sent the letters to, I sent a letter to Hugh Hefner with just one nude photo and the following:

Dear Hef:
I would love to be invited to one of your parties. I am single, 5’7” with blonde hair, blue eyes, 118 pounds 38-24-35. What makes me unique is that I am Poker Digest’s Wonder Girl. I am one of the most famous women poker players, and I was featured on the cover of April 2001 Poker Digest, a nationwide magazine with a full-page story about my life.
With love,
Jill Ann Spaulding.

It finally happened. I remember the call. I was upstairs in my office when the phone rang, and Chad Doering was on the line saying that they would like to do a special on me about my poker skills, and he told me it paid $750 for the day and that they would be flying me to Chicago to do the shoot. They would take care of all the expenses.
I was so excited, but tried to stay calm. I had a totally positive attitude. I said, “Let’s do it.” Chad said it would be in about two to three weeks. I took his number and thanked him. I went out into the hallway and started screaming! “Guess who called! Guess who called!” I shouted to Bruce. He could not guess. I said, “Playboy! They want me for a shoot in two to three weeks in Chicago!”
Bruce gave me a great big hug and said that I deserved it. I had worked so hard and kept at it, and he was so proud of me. Of course, there was no real celebrating—the working out and diet were on! I had been slacking because I had basically given up. I called Trent Clark, my trainer, and told him the news and he started coming over two to four times a week all the way up to the shoot to get me prepared. He mapped out a diet plan for me (not losing weight, but building muscle by increasing protein). I could eat whatever I wanted as long as it was on the list Trent gave me.
It was a long weekend, and I was excited about Chad Doering calling me back. This happened to be the same time we were going to Vegas with Bruce’s parents. We drove to Vegas Sunday; no one called on Monday. Tuesday came and I had just gone into the restroom and handed the phone to Bruce, and Chad called asking for Joan, Bruce said sorry no Joan. They both hung up. A few minutes later the phone rang again, and Chad asked for Joan again. Bruce said, “No Joan. Maybe you mean Jill Ann?”
“That’s it . . . sorry,” Chad said. Bruce put me on the phone. Chad apologized for calling me by the wrong name; he told me my shoot was scheduled for 3/4/02 to 3/5/02.
“Is that okay, Jill Ann?”
Of course, even if I had to reschedule something it would have been okay! Chad said he would call me back with the flight times. About two hours later, we were in our hotel room, and Chad called and I wrote down all of the times etc. After we hung up, I was so excited. I called my grandma and told her right away. She was very excited for me. I finished the trip to Vegas on cloud nine (of course, I did stick to my diet the entire trip!). When we finally got back, I called Chad and finalized a few things (how to do my nails, hair, bikini line, etc.) About four days later, Penny Ekkert called and told me that Chad would be gone for awhile and she was taking over. I was suddenly terrified; I figured he got fired and now, after I had already been through a couple of disappointments, I might not get chosen because of the change in personnel. Everything that Chad had told me was slightly different from what
Penny Ekkert told me. I was so confused. Chad told me no bikini line, Penny told me that I must have a bikini line because completely bare in the pubic area was too revealing for Playboy. At the time, I had no hair so I knew I had to grow it back right away. They told me short, natural-looking nails (and color clear). About four days before the shoot was to happen, I still did not have plane tickets, or information on where I was staying. I was very concerned that it would be canceled at any time. Finally the packet came from Penny Ekkert.
I was glad and finally asked her what had happened to Chad.
“Did he quit or get fired?”
“Who told you that,” she asked
I said no one. The real story was Peggy said she had no way of calling or contacting him before my shoot. This didn’t sound good. She then said Chad was actually photographing Miss Cyber Girl of the Year in some exotic Mexican locale. I was so relieved Chad wasn’t gone. I ate correctly and exercised for the two and a half weeks prior to the shoot. I started to believe that this was finally coming true.
Believe it or not, while I was preparing for my shoot, Hugh Hefner himself wrote back:

February 27, 2002
Dear Jill:
With that impressive nude photo, I feel obliged to put you on our party list.
See you soon.
Love, Hef
Hugh M. Hefner

I was amazed. It was as if all these dreams in my life were coming true at the same time.
To get ready for the shoot, I had Jenny at Ulta Source color my roots. I had Connie do my eyebrows, lip, and chin. I had a lady named Claudia do my bikini line, underarms, and a facial. I had my nails done and used Perfect Tan for that sun-blushed look. I was set and boarded the plane with the tickets Playboy sent me.
After the flight, I went down the escalators to find a large sign saying “Jill Spaulding.” The man holding the sign called for them to bring the car around. The driver offered me any of several beverages; I accepted water. I called Bruce and my grandparents to let them know I had arrived safely. The driver let me out at the front door of the hotel, and I checked in.
Believe it or not, to give you some idea of how sheltered I was in many ways, I asked one of the front desk gentlemen to walk me to the room. I was scared. I had not stayed in a hotel alone or anywhere alone and was a little worried about my safety. The young man walked me to my room. I pushed a chair up to the door so that the door could not be opened and felt much safer. I let my family know that I was locked safely in the room. It was already
11:00 p.m., and I needed to get sleep, but I also had to have my legs and body freshly-shaved for the mornings shoot. I had to use little water as to not remove my tan, but be careful to make sure I did not cut myself in any place. Overwhelmed by the event, my eyes were bloodshot. They looked awful. I think the anticipation and a mixture of fear took over me, and I had not slept well in a few nights. Thank goodness for eye drops.
That night, I did not sleep well. Like a lot of people in a long-term relationship, I slept differently without Bruce there. Worse, the hotel did not give me the wakeup call that I had asked for. Luckily my grandma and Bruce both made sure to call me at the time I was to wake up. I ate a banana that I had brought with me and grabbed another one when leaving the hotel.
Next I took a cab to Playboy Headquarters. The driver seemed to know exactly where it was. My heels clicked on the marble floors as I made my way to the appointed floor, my heart beating rapidly. The receptionist on the 15th floor was very nice, and after I gave her my name she said someone would be with me shortly.
“You must be the poker girl.”
“Yes, I am,” I replied.
“I’ve seen your set. It looks very cool.”
We chatted for a little while. I had to sit there without any makeup while the entire crew from Playboy entered to go into their desk areas. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t mind (as I said, I used to wear very little makeup), but here at Playboy headquarters, I knew some of the most beautiful and sexy women in the world—household names!—walked through those doors. The receptionist offered me Playboy magazines to take home, but I already had those. I showed her my pictures of my Playboy poolroom with the eight-foot by eight foot bunny on the wall and all the autographed pictures. She was very enthused about them.
At about 9:15, they took me to the studio where the makeup artist was waiting for me. She was very nice.
“Take all your clothes off and put on the robe hanging there. I’ll be back shortly.”
She took me to another dressing room filed with hundreds and hundreds of outfits, belts, shoes, and more and showed me some outfits that she had picked out that she thought I would look great in. They were mostly gold. I never wore gold and couldn’t imagine why it would look good on me now. She was persistent on a particular one, and I tried to trust her expertise. We returned to the makeup station, and she put hot rollers in my hair. As soon as she was done, she started on the makeup. The photographer came down and introduced himself as George Georgiou. Then Chad introduced himself—he popped in and out of the shoot from time to time, though he mainly shot things on location.
It seemed like hardly any time had passed, and I was ready. The surprising thing was she did my make up in less than a half hour. I looked in the mirror, and it looked like I had hardly any makeup on, including my lips were not very pouty (full and overdrawn). I didn’t feel like I was able to tell her how to do my makeup specially since I wasn’t an expert, but I was surprised it did not look much different from when I did my own makeup. I noticed some mascara on my top eyelid and showed it to her. She said, “Oh, they will airbrush that out.”
For my outfit, I was offered gold stretch pants about three times the size of me, G-string underwear, a bustier with little hose that attached an additional bra, a gold shirt, belt, bracelet, necklace, and earrings. To me, it was not flattering and the gold stretch pants were so huge they looked like a skirt than a pair of pants. I wasn’t feeling necessarily sexy in this get-up but felt that Playboy is the one that makes the rules. I didn’t speak out to try and get an outfit that made me feel sexier.
Finally, they were ready for me out on the set. It was very cute with a velvet-looking red background. Everyone introduced himself or herself. Pat, the makeup artist/stylist/wardrobe, stayed on the set the entire time. Brynne Rinderknecht was the set coordinator. George Georgious was the photographer, and David
Goodman was his light man. Chad came down a few times to check on how it was going. The shoot area was very dark, which made me feel very comfortable. It was seductive somehow, intimate. The photographer showed me where to stand and what poses they would like. Before each roll of film they took a Polaroid to check the lighting. They showed me the pose and then would tell me for each picture to just slightly move my head, mouth, and arms to make each picture slightly different. It was really helpful, and I could tell they knew what look they were looking for and what position was best and they were going to make sure I got into it. I felt like I was in very capable hands. They told me to undress slowly. Instructing me to not take off but one item at a time and that one item to only partially take off as they slowly photographed it in many different positions till it had came off. The photographer would tell me the pose, come up and help me achieve it. This went on for nineteen rolls of film. I felt very confident. I was in good shape, and I felt I looked like a real Playmate, and that confidence made this whole experience much easier. The confidence showed through.
We broke for lunch, and I still had not even bared my stomach. I was told that Stephanie Heinrich had worn these same pants in another shoot. I said, “Isn’t she one of Hef’s girlfriends?” They said she use to be, but she had recently moved out. One person looked at the other person and said, “Did she leave on good terms or not?”
“Yeah she left on good terms.”
I said, “I can’t believe she wore those pants. She is so skinny.”
They started to laugh. “Oh my, gosh, that girl gets so fat and balloons out. We had to send her home to lose weight. We were supposed to shoot her, and we just couldn’t. She just fluctuates in weight so drastically.” I was excited to hear another girl struggling with her weight. At least she was human. I think many of people think Playmates are inhuman, just objects, or different from the rest of us.
I brought my letter from Hef with me to Chicago, thinking they would somehow be nicer to me knowing that Hef approved of me and was inviting me to his party. It didn’t go over well at all. Most of them had worked for Playboy for a long time and never had been invited to the mansion. The few times that they had gone were only for work, and they were forced to leave before the festivities started. A not-happy glow went through the room, and a very outspoken crowd started talking among themselves complaining about the Mansion. Not at one time had they ever been invited just for a good time or to be shown a good time for their hard work. They were irritated and going off. I felt they were jealous that I was getting to go, almost pissed that I was going.
I felt like creeping away to a hidden area and hoping that they forgot what I had shown them. Suddenly I felt out of place and uncomfortable following their reaction. They got into a huge discussion about it and were very upset.
I couldn’t understand what the problem was, but apparently I was it. Instead of being impressed by my invitation, they were quite petty, accusing me of using them. Worse, nothing could have been further from the truth! I don’t live my life that way.
Lunch ended, and Pat touched up my makeup. We finished the rest of the shoot. After the nudity was done, I figured I was finished.
Then Chad asked, “Do you mind slipping on this visor, shirt and underwear? Afterwards we are going to have you sign them and auction them off on our website.”
I was thrilled. “How exciting . . . of course!”
I knew was going to have fans. I felt like I was embarking on a whole new life! They gave me a regular marker instead of a marker designed for signing clothes. Every stroke I made trying to sign my name had to be gone over because the pen caught on the material. My handwriting didn’t look very good, but I continued to sign them anyway. It was exciting just getting to sign something. Then the light guy told me that the pictures were done.
“Do you want to see them?”
“Absolutely!” I followed him into the photography room. A lady in there got really angry that I was in there. “She’s not to be in here!” The photographer was quickly reviewing the negatives with an eyeglass. I looked only for a second and returned to the lunch area of the studio, not wanting to upset anyone in the photography room. I never got a tour of the place and pretty well stayed down in the basement the entire day till someone came and got me to leave. No one was down there but me. I sat at a fold-up table in a sort of lunch room area waiting for someone to come down and get me.
A freshly polished Town Car with leather seats was waiting to take me to the airport. While waiting to board I still had a lot of makeup on and people were staring at me. I was wearing an “I Love Playboy” shirt! Two people asked if I was a Playboy girl. I said I was and gave out two autographs. It was fun. I even had some guy who was traveling on the same flight take a picture of me so he could remember what I looked like.
I was instructed after returning home that I needed to write an article for my pictorial about Texas Hold ‘em. I ended up getting a writer who unfortunately had no concept at all about how to play the game. I guess, because I am a
naturally good player and have done so well with it that I didn’t realize how complex the game was until I had to explain it to someone who had no knowledge of it. I realized how much experience I had throughout the years and that I was a very educated Texas Hold ‘em player. I put together an initial
article for Blair R. Fischer, the man from Playboy who requested it, closing with:
“…I could write a huge book. There are so many details of each one of the ideas I have presented here. I just tried to keep it simple—similar to the pool and tennis article so not to overwhelm the readers who are not advanced Hold ‘em players. If more detail is needed or wanted I can provide a million different small or large details of this very exciting and fast-paced game…”
Blair responded weeks after I had e-mailed him, saying that my draft was too focused and he needed something more for the layperson, the guy who knew nothing about poker. The article needed to be more general. This is the second draft I wrote —friendly and easy:
“Hi guys. I am a professional poker player, but I am going to teach you how to have a great time, win money and not have to know all of the ins and outs of poker. When I go to Vegas, I like the free drinks and the fun of chatting with everyone at the table. This makes it very hard to be a great player. Mix alcohol and talking and you are not paying attention; you are easy pickings for the professional poker player. When I am in this mood—just there to have a good time, let loose, flirt and joke—I do the following: Don’t play too many hands. Just play large pocket pairs and large suited connectors (Ace and King in the same suit, King and Queen in the same suit, etc.). Enjoy the conversation, the free drinks, and the great time of playing poker. If you follow my hand selection guide you will not only have a great time, you will also be a winner at the game.
2. The higher the limit the more advanced the players get, stick to the smaller games and there will be more weekend warriors out to have a good time. They are less serious, you won’t win as much, but you can’t lose as much either and, with the professional skills of the advanced players, stick to the lower limits.
3. Making friends at the poker table is going to always happen. I have the problem with talking with everyone and then I don’t want to take his or her money. On nights that you are out to have a good time, that’s fine. If you are really serious about winning and being a pro, no talking, no drinking, no fun—all business.
4. Know your players. Just because they are blonde and blue-eyed does not mean they haven’t been playing for a long time. Know which players you can bluff, raise, or just know when you need to get out of the hand. Categorize your players when you sit down at the table. This will make it easier for you to know who to call, bluff, or raise.
a. Conservative: You can easily make this player lay down a better hand than you have because he may think you have him beat and the extra money of a check raise or re-raise will often make him fold.
b. Weekend Warriors: This player is here to play. They have worked all week and no matter what you can bet they are not getting out—this is not a player to bluff.
c. Pro: He knows you are capable of bluffing so he is going to figure you out. Bluffing works on a now and then basis with this player. Raising and check raising can only work if they are trying to make a move on you.
5. Why play poker? It is a game where you have the advantages against the house (the casino). You are actually playing the players at the table, not the casino. The house does take a drop, but it is very minimal compared to slots and other table games. You can actually win consecutively at poker. It is not
so much a game of chance like a slot machine. You decide your own Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door by what hands you choose to play.

Blair’s response to this was a criticism that the article was now way too friendly and said he’d like to interview me over the phone and try to get the story that way.
When he called me his first question was “If you have a pair, when do you split the pair up and go for a straight or flush?”
“Blair, this is not draw poker.” I had to start at ground zero and try to explain to him the entire game. It was very difficult. I realized then how much I had progressed from an intermediate Hold ‘em player to a pro. I had down all the slang terms like fold, muck, river, turn, and flop. He had never heard them and was very confused. I realized right then how difficult the game was and how much I really knew.

* * * *

Next, in anticipation of going to a party at the Mansion, I had already been to Los Angles to go to the premier place for Lingerie called Trashy Lingerie. It’s where many of the Playmates and party-goers would go to purchase their outfit for Mansion parties. It was also often frequented by Anna Nicole Smith and many other famous gals. I went there feeling like Cinderella picking out the perfect evening gown except this even gown was little left for the imagination. A huge store of custom lingerie was there for the picking, and I found a floor-length nightgown that was so beautiful. Lace and small diamond-like crystals. The gals at the store came out and attached higher shoes to my feet to get the correct height for the train of the dress. With two gals pulling and shifting they pinned my outfit and took measurements of the changes that I wanted. Bringing in the front to hold my breasts in a more upright position to give me support throughout the night. They had matching string bikinis to go with the gown. I thought they were a little too tiny for what I was comfortable with. Finding a pair of boy shorts in see-through lace, they took it down to make a custom pair of boy shorts that were the same color and fabric as the gown. They said they would make the adjustments and Fed Ex the gown to me. I had never had a custom outfit made for me in my life. Not even for my high school prom. When I purchased a prom dress I remember buying one for $10 at a Chinese place and that was the dress I was going to wear. I share that so readers can perhaps understand that for me, I was truly being swept into a world I had never seen up close before.

Chapter Nine
Hef’s Birthday Party

I had received my first letter from Hef inviting me to his birthday party! Based on Hef’s letter, it was coming up, so I was expecting to get an official invitation. Bruce thought that the party list had been made long before I wrote Hef and his staff probably didn’t get a chance to put me on the party list. He suggested that I would probably get on the next one. I read Hef’s letter several times and couldn’t help but think it really seemed as though he was saying how excited he was to have me come. Additions to the list didn’t seem like a problem—a t lest to me—for him to make. I waited for a week or so, hoping to receive an invitation, but without success. I decided to write another letter. And thank goodness I did!

Dear Hef,

I can’t believe you took the time to write back personally. It was a complete shock! I will keep this letter forever. Thank you so much. I so hope that I get invited to your birthday party so that I can wish you Happy Birthday in person, but if you have other plans for me, I will understand. I have been excited to check my mail every day since your letter arrived.

P.S. My photo shoot for is going to be published April 11, 2002. It is going to be under Guy 101 Poker. I teach the guys how to play Texas Hold ‘em—my best game!

A few days later the Playboy Mansion called, telling me I was on the party list. They informed me of the time, date, and dress code. I was so excited I screamed with joy!
The whole experience was so amazing I decided to write my family a letter explaining lots of the details of the party just so I could replay the my visit to the Playboy Mansion for Hugh Hefner’s birthday bash again in my mind. The letter read as follows:

Dear loved ones,

I am writing a letter to all of you so you can read about my adventure to the Playboy Mansion on April 6, 2002, Hugh Hefner’s 76th birthday. To prepare, I had a guy named Jeremy do my hair at 2:15 and Zethina do my makeup at 3:00 at a salon in Scottsdale. From there Bruce and I went to the airport and took a flight out at 5:30 pm to LAX. Commerce Casino, the hotel where we were staying for the night, sent a van to pick us up. We checked in and then went downstairs to get a floor man to see if they would authorize dropping me off at the Playboy Mansion. Luckily, they recognized me from playing tons of poker at their casino, and I had called prior asking for it. It was written on a piece of paper that I would be going. So, at 8:30 the hotel provided us a free limo to UCLA where the pickup point was for the party. The driver did not know where UCLA was! We had the letter with me from Mr. Hefner and his home address so we went to the mansion, but they would not allow the driver to drop us off there. We had to make our way to UCLA. The door person at the mansion told the driver
how to get there, but he didn’t listen and we were lost again. A half-hour trip turned into about 1 hour and 15 minutes.
We got to the destination point at UCLA and then came the big scare— was my name on the list? There was also a huge sign that read NO PERSONAL CAMERAS, so I took my camera out of my purse and gave it to Bruce. The driver and Bruce waited for me to make sure before leaving me there. There were lots of people. They had the alphabet divided up in threes and everyone stood in the line their last name corresponded with. When it was my turn, to my delight, my name was there. I had to show two forms of ID to prove my identity. They stamped my left hand with some kind of stamp. I gave the shuttle driver and Bruce the thumbs up and they drove off.
A man with a Polaroid gave me a number to remember and snapped a picture. He wrote my cell number down and then put my picture with that corresponding number. This way they could decide if they would invite you back to the next party or not, based on looks or whatever. We all piled into an elevator and at the top we got into a shuttle bus that took us to the mansion less than a mile away. They indicated that there was not enough parking for
everyone to drive their own vehicles. The only people allowed to park at the mansion were the stars or close friends.
We entered the gates of the mansion, and it was so beautiful; the entire pathway was lit up with tiny white Christmas lights. When we stopped at the front door and we all got out, they checked each hand for the proper stamp. Through the door there was a coat and purse valet. I chose not to, but the lady suggested I look around first and then decide. I had seen a line of girls when
I first walked in and took my place there. It was a line for a one-stall bathroom. All of us wanted to check our appearance.
It didn’t take long, but while I was in line I asked a girl next to me if this was the only bathroom. She replied “Aren’t you a Playmate? You should know.”
At that point I was in great spirits; felt I really fit in. I could tell right away that almost everyone knew each other and that most of them had come with two or three of their girlfriends. All of the guests seemed to be from California and live pretty close to the mansion. I felt a little nervous, too. Like high school all over again. The mansion was decorated into art deco Old Hollywood. The front entry room was a no-holds-barred techno rave room in what they called the Great Hall. I decided to walk around—see who was there. The dance floor was right near the entrance, and I made my way through the people dancing and found a room filled with desserts—chocolate-covered strawberries, cookies, chocolates and fresh strawberries. I asked two very cute, very young guy waiters if it was alright to be in there. They told me that anywhere was okay. Off of this room there was another with tables with older people drinking. None of them were in lingerie. I passed an open bar where there were many people in line for drinks and a full complement of bartenders serving.
I wandered down some steps and there, to the right, was Hugh Hefner and all of his girlfriends. My heart stopped and I started to forget to breathe for the moment. Suddenly I heard my name called. I turned around to see the photographer from Chicago who had picked me for the shoot—Chad Doering. I was so excited to see him since I didn’t know a soul at the party. He was pleased for me that I had gotten the invitation to the party. He told me to go over to Hef, and he would take my picture and e-mail it to me. So I scooted over to Hef and asked if I could take a picture with him. He stood up and we posed. Then I went right back to Chad. He
showed me what it looked like on his digital camera. I thanked him, and he wished me a good evening. I was off again.
I passed another open bar. I headed to the pool area where there was yet another large open bar. I wandered down another hallway where I found a sauna, steam room, and about three bathroom areas with styling stations. No one was in the pool, but there were a lot of people sitting around it. There were electric heaters everywhere to keep guests warm. Finally, I hooked up
with this beautiful girl named Rhonda. She was a clothing designer, and she happened to make clothes for one of Hefner’s girls. We hit it off and hung out much of the entire night until about 2:30 a.m. when she went home.
We toured the place, doing nothing in particular. She was there with two other girls and knew everyone. I followed them as they made the rounds. I was in line waiting to go to the bathroom again and this friend of Rhonda’s asked what month I was. I told them that this month I was on and that it was my first time at a party; that I had come by myself. They invited me to join them, but I told them I was already forcing Rhonda to take me with her. They laughed and said if I changed my mind I could hang out with them. The rest of the night they waved and said hello as they passed by.
Rhonda started talking to this guy for a long time in one of the sauna rooms so I hung out with some other girls that we had been dancing with. The group was Miss June and her three friends. The party was awesome, and I never felt that anyone was staring at me. The stars were busy talking to whoever was trying to get their attention at the time. Otherwise there was no one kissing or having sex.
It was a fantastic party. The ratio was about one guy for every ten gals. They had two large areas with food that included gigantic shrimp, fruit, and finger sandwiches. There were no speeches, birthday wishes—nothing. I tried to sit down at the Hugh Hefner table with all of the girls. This did not work. I asked Isabella, one of his most beautiful girlfriends, about it and she said the table was only for the current Playmates and his girlfriends. I told her I thought I would ask because many of the girls at the table were not as beautiful as his girlfriends so I thought it would be that anyone could sit down. She smiled and said that was so nice. As I walked away she repeated what I had said to Mr. Hefner, and he chuckled about it. I was being truthful. The table was set for about fifteen and, at the time I asked, there were about four seats open. Can’t say I didn’t try.
I’m sure you’re all wondering if I saw any celebrities. There were a lot of stars there, but I am not the best with names. Many of them I will not even list. I recognized them but could not remember their names. The ones I definitely knew were Weird Al, 24’s Kiefer Sutherland, Scott Baio, Jeanette Jonsson, Jon Lovitz, Snoop Dog and his entire crew, Melissa Rivers, Stephanie
Heinrich, Michelle Rodgers, Michael Bay (this is mentioned right below also), Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer from the TV sitcom “Friends” and Hef’s brother. Drew Barrymore was reportedly there, but I didn’t see her—what a shame!
In addition to all these famous people I also saw Playmate Ava Fabian and Mickey Rourke. Bush frontman, Gavin Rossdale, and video director, Shawn Mortensen, were flanked by the Van Patten brothers, Jimmy and Nels. Pearl Harbor director, Michael Bay and his girlfriend, Playmate Lisa Dergan, wished Hef a happy birthday. I saw, Kato Kalin, Judd Nelson, Kylie Bax, and North by Northwest’s Martin Landau. All of the stars gave me hugs, even the guys. What a rush. They were regular people and seemed excited and very receptive to us talking with them.
I decided to look around the property. I went into the Grotto, which is the secret place at the mansion that everyone talks about. It was an incredible setting surrounded with plants, flowers—orchids in every color and blooming jasmine—and huge granite rocks. Even here, no detail was overlooked, and it had ten huge candles burning to give it atmosphere. It was very humid because it was the size of four or five Jacuzzis all in one room. If you went underwater you could swim out into the pool. There were just a few couples sitting next to each area. There were girls with painted outfits on passing out Jell-o shooters. They were doing this for most of the night until they finally got to join the rest of the party. Though they were wearing nothing but paint, it still covered more than a lot of the other people were wearing.
Everyone was taking pictures, and I could have had the best collection of shots if I hadn’t followed the rules and left the camera behind. I could have taken rolls and rolls. Everything was so amazing. I know I’ll never forget it, but it would have been wonderful to have the pictures. There were two bare-breasted girls wearing g-strings and jewels on their nipples. Otherwise, it was very tame. No one was wearing anything overly revealing—no more so than you would see in an L.A. or Manhattan club. I would say that the bathing suits I see at a local beach were more revealing. I didn’t see anyone flash anyone. I did—twice—one for the movie camera guy when he was filming and one when they took a group picture with me, Hef and his girls. I figured this would be the only way I would make the Playboy mansion party video by doing it. So I did. We shall see. I rented the Playboy Mansion party video before going to the party, and it seemed the only girls that were featured flashed or were very skimpily dressed. That’s why I did it. Okay, so it was a moment of spontaneity!
Of course, there were some more “interesting” people. Some guy said he was a movie producer and wanted to know if I would like to do some acting. I told him no; that I didn’t have the time but thanked him. He pressed a little, saying it paid $40,000 a week. Thanks but no thanks. What a freak! I figured it was probably porn or something. I didn’t have the Hollywood stars in my eyes that badly to get sucked into that. Playboy magazine is one thing—anything else is out of the question.
I stuffed everything I could think of for every contingency into my purse. I brought flip-flops in case the heel of my shoe broke, a change of outfits in case the one I was wearing got ruined, a shower cap in case I wanted to swim and not get my hair wet, my cell phone to call Bruce when to pick me up, lipstick, lip liner, and a black eyeliner pencil. I was prepared for the worst.
I did slip on my flip-flops to head out across the lawn to see his mini zoo. Can you imagine living in a house with your own zoo? And you know what an animal lover I am! Though it was dark and dimly lit there were lots of monkeys and birds of every sort and color. As I pressed into the area further it looked like a fairy tale. It was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. A tropical rain forest in the middle of Los Angeles! The landscape was plush and green with that fresh, after-a-rain smell. Little droplets of water were clinging to the leaves, and there was a hush to the place as the waterfalls drowned out the sounds of the party, and beyond that the city noises of L.A. Waterfalls cascaded everywhere. It was so peaceful. I came to a pool with oversized double lounge chairs. I walked around to the front and found tons of gorgeous flowers planted in the center surrounding a fountain.
There were more areas of the mansion and grounds to see than I could wander in a week. I was told it was three stories, 300-rooms on six acres in the ritzy Holmby Hills of California. I hadn’t seen any part of the upstairs or the large guest area that was about as big as the mansion itself. I did get into the TV room where they played movies. I had read about this room and it said Friday nights Hef and his pals watch movies from the 30’s and 40’s. On Monday nights Hef and his pals watch vintage movie serials. I stopped to pause at all the history and celebrities that had been in this room and how many movies had been seen. I decided to leave and called Bruce. While going to find a quiet spot to make a call, there was a waiter playing with a cat that, when I tried to pet it, acted really strangely. Suddenly it thought the bottom of my outfit was a play toy and attacked the train. Eventually it released the fabric and went on its way. I headed out the door and, as soon as I started to move, the cat was back—even more tenaciously than the first time! I was sure the train of my outfit would have holes and pulls in it. It already had stains, from all kinds of drinks, from brushing on the ground. Even with my 6-inch heels, the gown still touched the ground. I did get lots of compliments on the dress from all of the girls.
Miss June left with John Lovitz in his BMW along with her three friends that I had hung out with a lot of the night . . . I took the shuttle home at 4:30 a.m., and Bruce, with a guy from the casino, picked me up and we went back to the casino. We flew home later that day at 1:00 p.m. That was a wrap.
P.S. I talked to Rhonda and asked her if she had noticed on that Drew Barrymore was there; that I didn’t see her. She told me that I had stood right next to her. She was very tiny with reddish hair. Why didn’t you tell me, I asked her? She didn’t know I liked her so much. Next time I will pay closer attention!

That was the letter I sent to my mom, grandparents, Bruce’s parents and some personal friends. I didn’t specify ALL of the details. There were just some things I left out because I forgot, or I felt were a little too risky to tell them.
Naturally the website ran an article about the Hef’s birthday party. They said the birthday bash is one of the toughest parties to get invited to, with a very limited number of invitees. It read “imagine the odds of making the cut for Hef’s intimate birthday bash, limited to only 500 guests.” Imagine being in business for almost fifty years and all the people and friends you have met along the way wanting to be invited. Most of us never have a chance to plan a party that big. Even weddings are less than half that amount of people. The article reported that prior to the party they watched a James Cagney movie with fifty of his closest friends and joined the party flanked by girlfriends Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door Madison, Izabella Kasprzyk, Tiffany Holliday, Zoe Gregory-Paul, Stacy Burke, Lana Kinnear, and Renee Sloan.
One thing that I purposely did leave out of the letter to my family was when I was walking through a back room above the workout gym; a girl approached me and asked if I partied. She invited me to join them. I looked down, and they were doing lines of white powder that I assumed was cocaine. However, considering that this was a Playboy party in Hollywood, frankly I thought there might be more drugs or open sex than I actually witnessed. This was one thing I had been nervous about, because I’m not a drug user.
Naturally my family would not have been thrilled to read this piece of information and so I did leave it out of their letter. But
since I had decided to write this book I decided to come out with all the details. In fact, here are more descriptive details of other things that went on as well:

As I said most females were dressed in lingerie. But three girls were completely naked wearing only body paint as faux clothes. One was painted in pink with the word “Happy” painted on her back in another color, one painted green with “Birthday” written on her back, and a girl painted in purple that had “Hef” written on her back. They really did not have a strip of clothes on except their shoes! I was so surprised that the paint looked like a perfectly fitting bathing suit on the girls and covered them very well meaning it was hardly obvious that they were completely undressed. You really had to be looking intently to realize.
Hef was in a dark red silk bathrobe with a purple collar and purple cuffs that was opened exposing his chest. He may have had a shirt on, but it didn’t seem so.
Snoop Dogg was all decked out in dark silver shades with this gigantic pure gold wine glass although I could not see what he was drinking. It read Snoop Dogg in big letters across it. He was wearing a blue silk robe with silver underneath that turned out, similar to Hef’s but much more flashy and hip. He walked by me and I said “Hey,” and he said “Hey” back, and I raised my glass and both of us cheered clinging my plastic glass against his gold glass. It was really nice, and all of his entourage seemed to be just as friendly as he was. He looked like a superstar with his fancy threads and his super huge gold drink.
David Schwimmer and Matthew Perry were side by side the entire night with many of girls trying to get their attention. Being alone, I wandered over to see what they were talking about. They were reminiscing with other guests about behind the scenes of their favorite shows. I listened to one girl tell them what she thought was her favorite show, and being kind they seemed not to mind. They probably tell the same stories over and over to every fan that comes over to meet them with not much else to add The thing that was so crazy is that they talked and acted just like they were on the Friends show. It was as if they did not have to act at all but just be themselves on the show. The voices were the same, their actions and hand motions were exactly the same. I couldn’t help but feel I was part of the Friends show. How do you talk to them without mentioning Friends even though they are probably sick of talking about it? One girl never left their side, and it looked as if she was part of their group and came with them to the party. I, of course, had to get a hug from each of them. Hey, why not? I didn’t have a camera so I might as well ask for a hug. Both willingly gave me a hug and then feeling kind of stupid I didn’t stay much longer. I listened for a while as the gals jabbered to them about different episodes. I did not mention any episode to them. I decided to mention that I was a Texas Hold ‘em Poker player, and then they started asking me questions and I was so excited that I had something to offer these huge celebrities. Since then, of course, as poker’s popularity has soared, I have seen and heard of both of them playing the game. Matt asked if my main strategy was bluffing. David asked if I lived in Los Angles and I told him I was from Arizona. It was like I was standing in a bar talking to two regular guys. It was pretty cool.
Later in the evening I saw two of the official Playboy photographers huddling over talking to each other and one was Chad Doering. I asked what was up. They said, “We were just talking about that asshole.” Motioning their eyes over. I said “Oh, he is such a great actor. Why, is he a jerk?” They said, “He won’t ever let us take even one picture of him when he is here. It would take him all of a second, and we would leave him alone the rest of the night.” Trying to be the hero and get on the good side with the photographers I said “follow me.” I thought maybe I could get him to take a picture. My nature when I meet people is very open, friendly, kind.
He was one of my absolute favorite actors. He was talking to a seemingly large group of people. Since I was alone and unaccompanied at the moment, I told them I would tap on his shoulder just to say I loved his work. They were both excited with this prospect, as their job was to take pictures of the celebrities and hot girls for the website to show Playboy fans who was there and what people were wearing, etc. Mr. Kiefer Sutherland headed over to the bar area to get a drink. With his back turned and waiting for service I tapped him on the shoulder. I had told the camera guys I would wave to them after I got the okay because I planned to talk a while and then slip in and ask for a picture. He did not turn around when I tapped him on the shoulder so I tapped again. Still he did not turn around. He got his drink and headed back to a group of friends that he had been standing with. Walking over to where he was, I tapped him on the shoulder again lightly. My tapping became more insistent. He and his group turned away and I, blonde, thought maybe if he notices that I’m a girl and not a guy he will at least acknowledge me. I moved to an angle to have him be able to see me with my pearly whites open wide. He turned around with a snarl and gave me a foul look. He looked straight at me and said, “I guess we are going to have to move,” turned back and they began to walk off. So, I have to say that sometimes getting to meet the people you idolize doesn’t turn out the way you expect.
Crawling back with my head down I told the photographers I was sorry but that he didn’t give me the time of day either. I said I couldn’t even tell him he was a great actor or even say anything and he moved away! They said, “We told you he is an asshole.” I said, “A short one on top of that.” It was true he was tiny in person. I was so surprised. He had to be a head shorter then I was. The photographers said they didn’t know why he came to a party if he was going to be so unsociable. I said, “You know, I could see him maybe not wanting a photo or maybe asking you to take a photo of him standing alone with no one else in it.” (I understand that maybe taking a photo with girl dressed too hot that wasn’t his wife or girlfriend might not be something he or another actor would want to see published.) I continued, “But he not even acknowledging anyone is a reason to just stay home. I could have been coming to tell him his car was on fire.” He did not even see me standing with the photographers so that wasn’t the case. He just didn’t want to talk to anyone unless he invited you to join his group.
These are just a few of the highlights of meeting movie stars at the Playboy Mansion. My impression was that it was like a private party, not a paparazzi event where everyone had to give interviews and pose for thousands upon thousands of pictures. It was a group of individuals who were all getting to party together—and that added to the atmosphere. There is a “vibe” there that most people will never get to experience. Weird Al was as goofy as always and very friendly.
I asked permission from Scott Baio’s Playmate girlfriend to speak to him. Both of them were very understanding. No sneer from his beautiful lady, and she actually let him say a few words to me as he held my hand. I felt they were definitely a strong couple and really down to earth. Jon Lovitz smiled when I waved. Snoop Dog and his entire crew were passing by again, and he gave me the “Hey baby!” as we passed each other. I saw Melissa Rivers. I shouted, “Melissa! You look so cute!” She was wearing teddy bear PJ’s that were not very revealing. I asked, “Do you approve?”
(I spun around like they do on E!) She said, “With what you got you can get away with it.”
Most of the stars seemed to have a guest that they had brought with them to talk to, and they came with more than a few friends. This made it hard to talk to them because they just hung to themselves and really did not mingle. I took the initiative with all the celebrities to get their attention, and I was about the only one seeming to do it. Girls would follow me because they knew I would get the conversation started. I had heard from many people at the birthday party that the Midsummer Night’s Dream party was the wildest party of them all and that this was also a really wild one.
I headed out searching for unseen territory. Passing by the fully stocked bar where I had tried to talk to Keith Sutherland I noticed people going to the right through a door way. Making my way down the hallway I found an additional coat check girl. I spoke to her for a little bit, and as the gal I always am, I thanked her for taking some of my belongings. I had decided to check in my coat after all. I began to feel comfortable dragging all my things with me all over the mansion. She gave me a little number to recover my jacket at a later time, which I placed in my purse. The hallway led to many little rooms. The first room to the left had lots of girls leaning up against the mirrors fixing their makeup. Realizing they all were in line for the one-stall bathroom that was in the same room. I politely exited to get out of their way.
The next room had a full stand-up shower and kind of a sauna room in it that was not being used. I walked in and took a look around and then walked back out. Back in the initial hallway were other doors, but they looked full of storage and things. Coming across an additional bathroom with another tiled countertop where girls were applying additional makeup and guys were waiting as well to use the one-stall bathroom. I decided to wait amongst them and use the potty myself. It was just fun to stand in line looking at what everyone else had on or how little.

Most were surprisingly in just a bra and underwear or a nightgown that was pretty “Victoria’s Secrets looking.” I guess this is one other reason I stood out amongst the crowd. I had gone all out. My outfit had a deep plunging neckline that exposed my cleavage which then cascaded off the rest of my assets with lacy material. It was completely open once it covered my breasts. More like a robe with a long train that fully opened and showed off my long legs and clear heals that I had chosen to wear. It was the most beautiful outfit I owned, and it made me feel very comfortable even though it was extremely sexy. It was not revealing too much, and I certainly never felt I had to keep pulling my underwear out of the crack of my butt like many other gals were, which would have made me crazy. I had boy shorts underneath!
Taking my turn in the bathroom, I locked the door behind. I quickly made a call to Bruce as I was sitting on the toilet. Not so romantic, but it was quiet and I could hear what he was saying. I told him I was having a great time and told him that they thought I was a Playmate. He told me not to worry about calling him to just have a great time. I told him just a little bit of the highlights and the bus ride over, and we hung up with a quick “Love you.” In the bathroom, they had certain items stocked for anyone to use including baby oil, Jergen’s original scent or cherry-almond moisturizer, and some other fun amenities. Leaving the bathroom, I had to squeeze by the line of people waiting to use the stall. But first I added more lipstick and eyeliner to my eyes.
Parting from the room I noticed a huge group of people sitting against the wall leaning on these great big pillows. They were all just talking and drinking and having a good time. Still on my Nancy Drew hunt for a mystery or secret hiding place I walked passed them to find myself in front of a rope across a certain stairway down that said “no access.” Someone, however, was coming out of that no access area and I asked them what was down there. They replied the work-out room. I did not venture down. Cowardly, I just leaned up against the wall near there watching the partygoers on the floor laughing and carrying on. Feeling awkward since I had nothing to drink but Diet Coke and a Playboy water bottle I made my way back out of this area and returned to the outdoor party arena. I really wanted to go right over and speak to the Hef party table. It was the most intriguing table and the best place because Hef didn’t walk around greeting anyone so everyone that was anyone came up to him at his table to wish him a happy birthday. This is why it was the happening spot, not to mention the sexy girls that surrounded him. It was actually a pretty cool night for LA especially for everyone being dressed in lingerie.
I couldn’t believe how all the tables had a heater blowing over the guests to make sure they were comfortable in the night air. They had thought of everything. Each table was decorated to the hilt like a high class Hollywood wedding.
I decided that I must eat. I got in line to eat some of the gorgeous food. Instead of the small shrimp that you would see at most parties, the first dish I saw had the most gigantic shrimp! Crab legs were already broken open so that they could be eaten like an appetizer right out of their shell. It looked like Wolfgang Puck had been there cooking for this mass crowd. They had a platter of fish, each of them garnished like out of a food magazine. Gosh I sure wish I didn’t look like I was holding in my stomach because damn I would have been eating a lot of this glorious food right at that moment if I didn’t have to maintain my look! I took a little bit of just about everything. I felt sorry for any vegetarians that might have been at the event this evening because they would be overwhelmed by the mass amount of fish and meat offerings.
The older folks never moved from the tables from beginning of the night and seemed to always be eating, whereas the younger folks did not seem to stay put and were roaming everywhere just like me. It was cute to see many couples with gray hair just visiting away and enjoying themselves. I could tell they were probably all of Hugh Hefner’s older generation friends. Most of them looked like they were in their seventies, with graying hair. It seemed there were a large number of these folks, so I guess it was true what they say: “Once a friend of Hef’s, always a friend of Hef’s.” I found out later that Hef invites the entire street on his block so that the neighbors will not complain about his parties. That this is one of the reasons there are so many older people at the party.
I scoured each and every table looking for celebrities and other famous personalities, while many of them did not seem to pay attention to others walking by. The more popular the celebrity the bigger the entourage. It must be that if you are a celebrity you could bring as many guests as you wanted with you. If you were a commoner such as myself, the invite was just for you and you alone.
Before coming, I had called Rhonda and asked about bringing a friend and she said she was not allowed to bring anyone and that I shouldn’t either. She lived in LA so long she knew many of the gals that were at the party so she didn’t mind. Then I asked about bringing a guy friend. She stated that she was married but that she didn’t tell anyone that and that even married you could not bring your husband to the party.
This was her first party ever at the Mansion as well, and if she wouldn’t have designed an outfit for one of Hef’s personal girlfriends she wouldn’t have gotten to come. That was the trade-off for not charging for the outfit—she got to go to the next Playboy party. She figured it was a worthy trade. She said even though she had not charged her for the outfit, Hef’s girlfriend had to take a current picture of her back to Hef to get it approved for her to come to the party. Either Hef was worried about her possibly being ugly or maybe it was for security purposes, who knew.
I decided to go back to the entryway of the mansion, which had been turned into the dancing area. I just started dancing to the music alone and then as I got into it just danced my way into different groups of girls dancing. I had been dancing up a storm for over 45 minutes and all of a sudden I could barely walk. The train of my dress was so dirty, all covered with beer, booze, food and disgusting things it swept off the floor as I walked around. The music was intense and fast and each song was so motivating it made you want to just keep on dancing. A disco ball was spinning and a film crew was filming the girls dancing. The best thing about the film crew was it got the girls to get wild. They would be dancing normally, swinging to the music and singing but when the crew started to film it was an entire different story. Almost immediately it was like the wannabe star inside each girl became alive. Not only were the dancers willing to get naked, but they were willing to start making out and grabbing each other.

As soon as the light on the camera would shut off, the action would stop as if someone had screamed out “Cut” from behind the camera. It wasn’t long for all of us to realize the camera crew would only film us if we were doing something naughty or sexy so as soon as they would look towards our direction as if rehearsed we would intentionally scream “Action” and begin our scene. Of course, just as much of a camera hog as everyone else I hogged the spotlight much as I could. I would start to tease the camera with a small pull of my top to the side not showing anything till the other girls noticed the camera moving in and then they would all come running to get in the scene. I would blow kisses at the camera and flash a breast and then everyone followed my lead deciding to touch my breasts without even the thought of a “may I” in sight. What can I say? You get very swept up in the moment!
A girl hugged me from behind, and we started dancing up and down to the music and two other gals joined in. It was our voyeurism at play, and we were having the best damn time. The moment the camera lights would turn off everyone would go back to dancing with their own group and things would become calm again.
One of the gals I had been dancing with became exhausted from all our hip motion and grabbed my hand and pulled me away to the back of the mansion to catch a breather. I found myself all the way back near the staircase that lead to the work-out room. I was just standing there with them frankly not saying anything or doing anything totally out of breath. When I took off my shoes, she quickly asked me “if I partied.” I should have said no, because honestly Bruce and I hardly do, but I danced more then I had in months and for some reason I said “sure do!” Looking down at lines of white powder, assuming that the lines were cocaine, I felt like a fool realizing this was the kind of partying they were talking about. I thanked them like a schoolmate so excited that they would thoughtfully think enough of me to share in their party favor but told them no thanks. They asked again if I was sure, and I said that I was fine. I watched as each girl snorted a line up one nostril and then one after another they continued. I saw one of my most admired Playmates among them doing her fair share.
At this point in my life, I had never actually witnessed drug use with my own eyes. I had seen it on TV, the movies, etc., but it was actually interesting to watch. I have no idea why but I just felt that I was in a whole different world and it was entertaining. Quickly they were finished and wiping their noses, and of course they wanted to head right back to the dance floor.
I chose not to go back to the dance floor mainly because I had blisters on my feet from dancing in such tall heals and I couldn’t bear to put my shoes back on at that moment. I got so tired on the dance floor and once I stopped dancing I was weak at the knees. While staying back to get strength back in my legs I was approached by a porn producer, which I described in my letter to my family. He seemed very pissed off at me because I gave him the cold shoulder. I was not interested and he gave me the evil eye a few more times throughout the night as if to say “you aren’t even that pretty to be turning me down” kind of look. I couldn’t help but wonder if Hef knew what this guy was going around saying to so many of the girls while trying to get contact numbers. I had known Hef looked down at girls who went into porn and couldn’t imagine any other film job that was going to be paying $40,000 a week. Come to think of it I didn’t even think porn stars made that kind of money and started thinking maybe this was one of those gang bang films that could afford to pay that kind of money a week. The thought gave me the creeps.
About one o’clock in the morning, Hef, accompanied by the ladies from his main table, got up and looked like they were departing for the evening. I assumed that they would escort him upstairs to say goodnight to him. Like a good host just because he was done partying didn’t mean the party had to end.
I wondered around finding a row of seven outdoor porta-potties south of the pool entrance. It also seemed to be the official smoking area. Ninety-eight percent of everyone that was out there was smoking. They were standing up at bar tables and you could tell it was a prearranged for guests to smoke in this vicinity of the party. I noticed many of the smokers were celebrities, so I made the rounds to catch a glance if it was anyone I wanted to meet.
Judd Nelson was there, and I guess he has been in Hollywood just a little bit too long since making the film Breakfast Club that he didn’t resort to using many lines on girls. He just point blank said to me, “Let’s get out of here.” I probably sounded like a star struck girl when I said “This is my first time to the Playboy Mansion. I couldn’t think of anywhere else I would rather be. “ A simple smile and walking off would have done but I always seem to have to explain to every person on earth exactly what I mean thinking I won’t hurt their feelings that way. It doesn’t always work! Not sure when that all started, but if anyone asked me to dance when I was out with my boyfriend I would simply say, “Oh you are so handsome, and if I was single I would in a heartbeat but I am here with my boyfriend.” I always had to put a little bit of sweet and low in there. I guess I am pretty sensitive, and it would just horrify me to think I might hurt someone’s feelings.
I did not act like I wasn’t single because I had already figured I probably was a party favor for guests, so I was going to play the shy type in case that was the way it was at the mansion. I found that it didn’t seem that way and I was relieved. There were still too many hungry guys for my comfort even with the huge ratio of girls. Many were either really old or nasty looking or with a girl, which meant they were already hooked up. Not the stars with their entourages but there were other celebs on the prowl, which meant about five guys total that were actually someone you would consider dating. I could see how many of the celebrities ended up with Playmates because they do go to these parties, and it is a great way to meet a huge handful of beautiful women. I had heard Pamela Anderson met Scott Baio at the Playboy Mansion and then started dating. Michael Bay (The Rock, Bad Boys II, Pearl Harbor and Armageddon, and more) had meet Playmate Lisa Dergan at the Playboy Mansion and had started dating. So it was possible to hook a celebrity at a Playboy party.
As the night went on I started realizing the crowd was thinning down. The guys had become so intoxicated by this time they were much more daring and tried to get girls to go home with them one last time before the night ended. I realized after the tenth run-in with some drunk asking what my name was that it was time for me to leave. I felt like a fish out of water and knew that the night must end.
I phoned Bruce to come and get me, and he said he would be there in about an hour. I figured instead of waiting in a deserted parking lot in the cold, it was best that I kill time at the Mansion till I was sure he was closer. I had already walked Rhonda out to the bus earlier to say goodnight. I made my way to the warmest part of the mansion near where Hef and the girls had been seated. Nearing four a.m., I had definitely had got my full night’s worth of fun.
I had already had my jacket from the coat check girl and was ready to go. I headed out the front door and got into the bus to take me back to UCLA parking lot. Getting off the bus I headed towards the elevator only to find it is turned off at a certain time at night. I made my way down the stairs instead with about four other partygoers. The covered parking lot was practically empty, and I was surprised there were no tables or security set up to make sure everyone got home safely. Sitting alone on a curb I shrunk down to keep myself warm.
Amazingly, five minutes later my chariot was there to pick me up. He had the same driver from earlier, so by this time the driver knew his way on how to get there. They had even still got a little lost and turned into a different parking lot at UCLA but still made great time. I was whisked away back to the hotel for a great night’s sleep. We then flew back to Arizona the following day.

Chapter Ten
Making Playboy

My official Playboy photo shoot was on March 5, 2002.
"I Made it!" At least into
My pictorial for launched on April 11, 2002. I could finally write Playboy April 2002 on my list of accomplishments. There was an article published with my pictorial. The actual version of our collaboration can be found on the web at the following address
During Hef’s birthday party it wasn't official as it hadn’t been published yet. Many people are photographed but that doesn't mean that they ever use the photos. When they finally published the photos then it’s official. I am considered a Playboy Bunny. But that wasn’t my ultimate goal. It was just a foot into the door. I really wanted to be in Playboy magazine.
But it certainly was a good start! I could finally call myself a Playboy model. I was so proud! I told everyone. Everyone around me knew how hard I had worked, and they were excited for me.
The visor and red shirt I wore in the picture went up for auction on the Playboy website. The description read: “T-shirt and visor worn by poker ace Jill Ann Spaulding on Place, the high bid on this high-stakes Playboy auction and you’ll own the red playboy T-shirt and visor that card shark Jill Ann Spaulding wore on! She slid the visor over her golden locks and squeezed herself into the skin-tight T-shirt for the sexy picture accompanied her poker tutorial from the Living in Style section! And in the spirit she upped the ante by autographing both items immediately after taking them off. If you can maintain your poker face as the bidding gets heated, and if you come out on top at auction’s end, you can say you won these sexy garments during a no-holds-bar strip poker with the incredible Jill Ann Spaulding! Bid to win this genuine outfit from photo shoot today! It includes a letter of authenticity signed by Playboy photography director.”
Wow, how exciting—I felt like a celebrity! I watched as the bid went higher and higher. I thought it was pretty exciting that someone wanted the shirt I wore so much.
I even got a letter from my trainer:

Hi Jill Ann,
I finally saw the pics! Great stuff! I’m so glad to see that dreams and goals and good thing happen to good people. I see a lot of kids every day, and they all have dreams and aspirations and 95 percent of them don’t make it to the Big Leagues. It’s tough to see, and a lot of kids get a lot out of their time and learn a great deal along the way, but everyone wants to meet their goals. You should be so proud of the achievement and your commitment. I know you made some sacrifices for this dream, and that makes it all the sweeter!
Yours in health,

However, according to my Mom no one was allowed to tell my Dad because he would be very upset. I was surprised but understood. I sent a thank-you letter and gifts to all who were part of my photo shoot. Naturally, I still wanted to appear in the Playboy magazine and I really did the .com shoot just so I would be able to be part of the Playboy family. It was a good thing to be able to put on my resume every time I contacted Playboy.
I actually got paid $750—but it cost me thousands to get there (not to mention all the surgery and working out!). I still was not done with Playboy. I noticed a section for Playboy Poker (where you can actually gamble for real money) and decided to tell them my story to hopefully be used for their online poker section. I wrote to on May 8, 2002:

I just did my exclusive pictorial for because I am a professional poker player and very well-known around the world and you can find me at

I am the Queen of Hearts for Playboy. Many of my gambling friends place bets on your site. When I told them that I had done a shoot for Playboy they all went to and figured I would be there. I would love to be, so if you can use any of my pictures to help promote your site, please do.

After Hef’s birthday party, I went home with Bruce and just got back into the swing of things. Working out and trying to stay in shape for my ultimate goal of being a Playmate; nothing had changed.
It had been a few weeks so it was now time to put my next plan of action into play. I decided to call the Playboy mansion to ask if they thought that I would be invited to any more parties.
Jenny Lewis said, “If you were invited to the last one, you’re probably sure to be invited to the next one.”
“I’m willing to travel and pay for my own flight to go to the Mardi Gras Playboy party or the Vegas parties or anywhere really.”
“Who am I speaking with?” Jenny Lewis asked.
“Jill Ann Spaulding.”
“Jill Ann, Mr. Hefner was so disappointed that you didn’t come up and introduce yourself.” I could hardly believe that she knew exactly who I was when I gave her my name.
“I did. I even got a picture with him,” I told her. (I suddenly realized I did go up to him, but I never told him my name; I just posed and was really intimidated and walked away as soon as the flash went off. You know how it can sometimes be. You’re a little flustered or excited by a situation, and you sort of forget what you were going to say.)
“Oh. Well, he must have forgotten.”
Suddenly I was filled with dismay. “I feel awful. I went up to him a couple of times, but I thought he might feel I was bugging him.”
“Not in the least. He’s not like that,” she assured me.
“With so many guests I didn’t think he would have known me.”
Jenny laughed lightly. “Oh no, he was expecting you!”
I told her about my pictures having gone up on the website on April 11th. She wondered if they were from the party, but I explained they were done for an exclusive on She indicated that Mr. Hefner would certainly want to see these. I gave her the web address, thanked her and hung up.
I wrote a letter to Mr. Hefner and included a picture of me on the way to the party as well as from the pictorial.

Dear Hef:
Thank you so much for having me to your birthday party. It was wonderful! April has been a completely amazing month for me with your party on April 6th and my pictorial on published on April 11th! Thank you so much for everything. Hope to see you sooner than the next party.
With love and luck
Jill Ann Spaulding

What did I mean by that last sentence? I wanted to be one of the girlfriends who were sitting at the table. I had done some very dedicated research. I purchased the videos “Inside the Playboy Mansion.” After being turned away from the table at the party, I was determined to find out how to become a girlfriend, who these girls are, and where they came from. There was never one current girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, or long ago girlfriend who had ever said anything bad about Hugh Hefner. I found that remarkable. Almost all relationships end with negative feelings in some way or another. In Hugh Hefner’s case, ex-girlfriends still go to many of the parties and events. They all are always kissing him, hugging him, and making a huge fuss over him. In the video, the most the girls ever say about sex came from Buffy Tyler. She said, “People ask about sex, and I say I don’t kiss and tell.” The whole video is very evasive on the subject.
Here again, I wasn’t naïve, but the “pajama party” atmosphere, and that “Playboy sisterhood” again had me thinking that all those beautiful women were for show. I assumed he had one special girlfriend, and the rest of the girls were there to make him look sexy and desirable and powerful. Esquire Magazine: June 2002 by Wil S. Hylton quoted Hugh Hefner as saying, “I have slept with thousands of women, and they all still like me. . . . My life is an open book with illustrations.”
Time Out New York by Adam Rapoport, in the issue on April 6-13, 2000, Hefner was quoted as saying, “The girls have become close friends. It may be difficult to imagine, but there is no rivalry or jealousy . . . There are Sandy, Mandy and Brande and Jessica, and they’re the only girls I see.”

Brande Nicole Roderick became a Playmate of the month® April 2000 and Playmate of the year® 2001. Sandy and Mandy Bentley made the cover and inside of the Playboy magazine in May 2000. I still was doing research before I decided to pursue such a thing. On they have archives, and this is some of what it said: “On March 13, 2000, Brande Roderick came to the Howard Stern show to talk to Howard. Howard asked her many of details about having sex with Hef, and she didn’t have many answers. Brande said they all hang out and watch movies in bed with Hefner. She said that she’s never seen the other girls having sex with Hef but thinks that they do. Most of the guys on the show didn’t believe that she actually does sleep with Hef. Howard believed her, but asked her to swear that she does. She ended up saying, ‘I swear on the Lord Jesus Christ that I sleep in
Hugh Hefner’s bed,’ and then added that she has sex with him. KC and Gary still didn’t believe her. Even Robin found it hard to believe what she was saying. After Brande swore to it, Robin said she wanted to get out of the studio before the lightning struck. KC told Howard, ‘If she’s sleeping with Hef then I’m Jesus.’” Archives read that Playmate Katie Lohmann was in the studio. Howard wanted to find out about her dating Hugh Hefner and if it was all true or not. Howard went on to ask Katie about the Hefner stuff. She was one of Hef’s seven girlfriends, and Howard heard that’s all hype. She said that she never had sex with him, but she’s not sure about the other girls.
She said she loved Hef but it was a “different kind of love” that she couldn’t really explain.
Quoted from, May 5, 2001, Hefner was asked My Favorite Occupation. “I’m dating seven girls, and it is a wonderful, romantic relationship and at my age quite remarkable; Tina, Jennifer, Regina, Michelle, Elaine, Tiffany and Stephanie.”
I decided it had to be an act. No rivalry, no jealousy—there had to be no sex. There was no way that all of these ex-girlfriends could be so happy, continue to go to the parties and never have anything bad to say about Hef. I believed it was a publicity idea for the magazine. It was every man’s fantasy and to hold on to the Playboy image, he had to appear to be a true Playboy.
I even discussed it with my grandpa, not in detail of course. I asked him whether he thought Hefner has sex with those girls. He was adamant that it was all for show. That was the extent of the conversation, but since I looked up to my grandpa it underscored what I believed.
I looked at the girlfriends that were on the video cover.
I’m not certain who the last girl was, but all of these girls were listed as girlfriends and all of them were Playmates except Tiffany Holliday, but she still lived at the mansion so maybe this had something to do with it. I had to become a girlfriend. I would have to commit to moving into the mansion to fulfill my dream. I figured that you had to put in your time for promoting and doing events before they made you a Playmate. I looked at it as part of the job. For instance, if you are a powerful PR agent with clients all over the globe, you are basically committing yourself to living out of a suitcase. Every job, on some level, requires sacrifices. I assumed, from all my research, that part of the package deal of being a Playmate was a commitment to keep up this pretense.
There is a list of all of Hef’s girlfriends who were documented in articles and on and Playboy magazine in the back of this book.
I know it sounds strange, because I was in a great relationship with Bruce, to consider being Hef’s “girlfriend,” but I really only considered it to be in name only. I was utterly convinced this was no different from TV stars and models needing to do promotional events. Or think of how many totally fake “relationships” between actors and actresses “suddenly” happen when there is a movie to promote and then afterwards, it over as fast as it started. It was part of the package for promoting the Playboy name. I assumed the girls who became his girlfriends were part of an image of luxury, sexiness, and allure that made the rest of the world want to be part of the “Playboy mystique.” Boy was I in for a big surprise!

Chapter Eleven
Hef's Letters

The excitement of being in continued. And I was so happy with all the new invitations. It was the middle of May, and I got another invitation, this time from a girlfriend not knowing exactly what it was all about. I was just game to find out what my next venture would be.
To my surprise it was a Playgirl strip off.
My friend gave me all the details and said she would be there. It was Tuesday May 21st, 2002 and I was going to The Great American Male Strip-Off at Graham Central Station. It was filmed for National Television. Over thirty of the top male strippers from around the United States competed for the national title, with proceeds from the event going to benefit Breast Cancer research and treatment AIBA Arizona Institute for Breast Health.
I walked in the door wearing one of my new Playboy shirts. I was about an hour early mainly because I was excited to go and didn’t want to be late, and there was no traffic. No one else had arrived including my girlfriend. I had to get out of the heat so I decided to make my way in past the door personnel when I was approached by the owner of the club. He said “Oh, I’m glad you are here.” I said “Thanks” He told me that I could have all the free drinks I wanted and could set up in the VIP room. A little caught off guard I said “set up what?”
He said, “Aren’t you one of the Playboy judges tonight?” I said, “Well, I have posed for Playboy, but no I didn’t know I was chosen to judge the event tonight.” He then informed me that Brande Roderick and the Bentley Twins were judges tonight but one of the twins had come down with a terrible cold and they needed a replacement for her and were hoping I could help out. I said, “Sure, no problem.” Next thing you know I was the judge for the National Strip-off and put up on stage to be danced on top of by one of the guy strippers. Brande seemed pretty nice, but the one Bentley sister was very bitchy. She was so rude and refused to engage in eye contact with me. Her boyfriend was there filming every aspect of the entire event. I asked him if I could get a copy of the film, and he agreed in the presence of the Bentley girl. Of course, I never did see the tape. Brande gave me her email address, and I sent her a copy of all my photos from that night. She kindly emailed me back a pleasant thank-you.


After the party at the Mansion, I needed to retreat back to my “real life” and spend time with Bruce and my family. I found myself spending more time with my grandma, and she
could not believe I did not sit right down with Hef at the birthday party and show him the pictures of my photo shoot and tell him why I needed to be in his magazine. Still today she says that to me when I see her. Sometime after that first visit, she wrote this letter which she finally gave me a month later. When she handed it to me she begged me to send it to Hef. This is what it said.

May 24, 2002
Mesa, Arizona

Dear Hugh Hefner,

I enjoyed being at your birthday party; Thanks for inviting me and for agreeing to pose with me. The picture turned out good. I would’ve liked going over my photos with you, but figured you didn’t want anything like that during your party.
I go to Los Angeles quite often, on buying trips for my store. I am the owner of “Name Brand Exchange,” in Mesa, Arizona. I’d like to talk with you sometime when I’m in L.A. Please let me know if that can be arranged.
You can be reminded of who I am by going to, etc. Please don’t let my age stop you, as I’m sure it wouldn’t matter to your readers, as I certainly don’t look my age, as you will see. I would enjoy being in your magazine.
Enclosing a newspaper photo from when my local paper ran an article on me and my store.
Hoping to hear from you.


Jill Ann Spaulding

I never did send the letter, but I thought how sweet it was for my grandma to take the time to try and figure out how to get me into Playboy! Something I will cherish forever!
As far as Bruce and I go, once I got the tape Inside the Playboy Mansion, Bruce and I watched it repeatedly for hours dissecting every scene. We were so shocked to hear that Hef himself says on the tape, “There’s room for one more.” It seemed he was speaking to me! I couldn’t believe it! How did I not hear that! How did I miss that opportunity! I guess I was just so excited and there was so much going on around me…
Bruce and I actually studied the tapes together, discussed what I was going to do and, amazingly, he said that he didn’t want to ever feel he held me back from my dream. He would be sad and miss me, but he would supervise the stores, the house and everything while I was gone. He knew I was the little girl who wanted all the glitz, glam, and excitement and he didn’t want to stop me.
I also knew that with an all-girl staff between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four working for me that they would keep him busy. Our relationship was strong enough that the opposite sex was never an argument or a problem, and we really trusted each other. Not that we actually ever were out of each others sight, which I think was a great reason the relationship worked well. It is like the movie stars running off with their co-workers. We had worked side by side through most of our relationship, so I think this helped with the temptation problem and that we were each other’s costar so there was no one spending more time with one of us then each other.
I decided to call Jenny at the mansion and try to get some information about how I could be a girlfriend without coming right out and asking.
“Hi, Jenny it’s Jill Ann Spaulding calling. I sent Hef a letter and was wondering if he had said anything about it.”
“What did you expect him to say?” she asked.
“Well, I mentioned that I would like seeing him sooner than the next party.”
“He’s a busy man. If you want to see him sooner than the next party, pick a time that you are going to be in the area and tell him about it,” she offered.
I thanked her for the information and began to write Hef another letter. I didn’t have a trip coming up, so I choose a few days that a good poker tournament was going on, and it would keep Bruce busy if I was lucky enough to be asked to come up to the mansion. Bruce and I discussed the possibility of my not coming back for a few months or more, and we agreed that if I were asked to move in that I could and I would. However, I still needed a response from Hef first! So I took my best shot:

Dear Hef,

I want to be with you. I know you do not have a lot of time to give, and I understand this up front. I am going to be in California from June 5 to 10. I would love to stay at the Mansion, if possible, during this time. Maybe I could watch old movies with you, your girlfriends, and others. You would have a chance to see the genuine warmth, compassion, and honest attraction I have for you, and we might hit it off. I am willing to commit myself only to you and do nothing else for the time that you give me in your life.

With love,
Jill Ann

I couldn’t help myself; I used the exact phrase that Katie Lohmann said in the Inside the Playboy Mansion video. When she met Hef, she let him know right away that she wanted to be with him.
It was around June 1st, a few weeks after I sent the letter, and I had no response of any kind from anyone. I was sure he wouldn’t respond when suddenly the phone rang. It was a security officer from the Playboy Mansion confirming my arrival from June 5 to 10. I couldn’t believe my ears and thought he was kidding and said, “Really?”
“Do you mean to tell me that no one has called you about this?” he replied.
“No, no one.” I said sincerely.
“Well, it’s on my log that you will be staying in the guest house on those dates. Hef has asked you to accompany him and his girlfriends Wednesday the 5th and Friday the 7th.”
“I really get to go?” I really couldn’t believe this. “What do I wear?”
He said, “Wednesday is club wear. Friday is, too, but dressier.”
I thanked him and then he advised that they don’t often take care of transportation to the mansion but that if I needed to be picked up he would need 24-hour advance notice. I let him know I would be driving my own vehicle, and he was glad to hear this. He told me to give my name to the guard at the gate when I got there, and someone would help me with my bags.
I don’t think it sunk in right away, but it didn’t take long. Now that it was really happening, I was very nervous and excited at the same time. A million things went through my head. I was spinning. What would I bring, what would I wear, how would I act? I started packing immediately trying to prepare. I started selecting nearly everything I owned. Then I settled down a little and sorted out half a dozen jackets; a dozen pairs of shoes—including my sexiest, several of my favorite outfits, jewelry, my pillows, and even my makeup tape to be certain I had it just right. I packed enough clothes to stay a very long time. Bruce offered to send me clothes from the store so I could have new outfits when I was there if I was asked to stay on. He said he would take a plane home if I stayed since he had his own vehicle at our house. He was so amazing!
Now, I need to remind readers that, on my end, I thought this was part of the illusion of Playboy. Look, if you are a Playmate, you can be 50, 60 someday and still look back and say, “I was one of the women in Playboy.” It was a dream of perfection and beauty. Part of that included keeping up a pretense and illusion as one of Hef’s “hutch” of bunnies. That was all I thought it was.
Bruce and I drove to L.A., and I dropped him off at Commerce Casino but not before going to the room and redoing my makeup so that it was fresh and perfect for my big entrance.
Now, just to let you know what a remarkable man Bruce is, I don’t want to give the impression that he was thinking anything would happen sexually at the mansion. He supported my dream, but he knew me—the real me. He knew that it was several dates before I even let him kiss me when we first got together, and it was six months before we slept together. He knew that my core values were rock solid, and we truly trusted each other.
Bruce drew me a map with directions and the exits I needed to get there. I had discussed with Bruce that I might get homesick right away and have to leave. He was supportive, as usual, and told me I would be fine.
Even with Bruce’s directions, I still got a little lost and ended up at the back gate of the mansion. The gates are very high with beautiful wrought iron doors at the entrance. It’s like driving up to a castle. I told the uniformed guard my name and, after making a call to verify, he said he would help me get to the front gate. The security guard jumped in his car, and I followed him to the front gate. He pushed the button to open the automatic gate. The gate was thick with plush greenery surrounding the outer edges of it. I couldn’t believe I was in the middle of the city with the forest like atmosphere that surrounded the entrance, including tall ferns as big as trees. In the rearview mirror, I could see the security guy starting to walk up the path to the mansion. I backed up and asked if he wanted a lift up the drive. He smiled and got in, but right before I asked him, I couldn’t resist, to take a picture of me entering the famous gates. I had butterflies in my stomach, and my heart was hammering.
The front gate was similar to the back gate with a grayish wrought iron tall fence and doors. A large mirror was placed on the outside of the gate to make sure you could see cars when you were leaving from the mansion. At the front it seemed there wasn’t a place to announce yourself, but it was merely hidden by a huge rock from which came a voice where they had hidden the speaker system to make it look more realistic instead of an official entrance. The fence was curvy with spikes swiveling like snakes at the top. An American flag hung to the left. To the left of that was a heater to keep some of the security people warm. Farther to the left were two small statues that were quite feminine and placed about eight feet apart from each other. The statues were against a cement wall that was covered with ivy to cover the color, and it made it look like a green fence. Ivy was cut away from the middle to show a museum-like plaster of many of women from the early 1900s with more full-size bodies, almost religious looking as if they were flying. The path all the way up the curvy driveway was thick with many different types of trees, bushes and plants. I couldn’t believe how dense the greenery was. It was grown in completely thick and lushes, but you could tell it was still trimmed and in perfect order. Just like a forest. I passed a huge government-size yellow sign on the way up the driveway, which read “Playmates at Play” I became even more nervous as it was scary and thrilling at the same time.
Once I arrived at the front door, I was shown where to park my car, and a guy came out to help me with my bags. I noticed right away that this guy wouldn’t give me much eye contact and didn’t really seem to want to help me with my bags. It seemed like I had carried almost everything, and he seemed not to notice.
We walked to a small house, like a perfect little guest cottage, and went through a wooden door with a French Country feeling. I opened the door to a nice little living room with a couch, TV, and computer. He showed me to my bedroom. I tried to tip him, but he said he couldn’t accept it. Shortly afterward he came back and gave me a key to the door. The room was great. I immediately felt comfortable. I looked out the windows. Two of them faced a tennis court, and the other two looked over the grounds, where I could see blooming flowers, lush foliage, and a rich green lawn the color of emeralds. I assumed they had a small army of groundskeepers to maintain the place to its impeccable condition.
Then I focused on my new living quarters and started by unpacking my things and settling in. I put away all the clothes in the closet and realized I still had to go back out to my car for more things—I hadn’t traveled light! When I walked through the door, I noticed a picture of Marilyn Monroe on the wall in the entrance. It was the image of her in a gold dress with a plunging neckline and her hands on her waist. I knew Hef was a huge fan of hers and had published very famous photos of her which actually was in the first publication of Playboy and was the real launch of the Playboy magazine. The wall to the left had a very sexual picture of a man that looked like it could have been Hugh Hefner performing cunnilingus on a naked woman bent over backwards. I could see the man’s private parts hanging downward based on the women leaning so far back. I couldn’t see the face well, but it had his look.
The room also had a VCR, radio, and CD player. There was a chest of drawers and a lovely vanity chest to put little items in. On both sides of the bed were small tables. One side held a telephone with a list of phone numbers for anything I needed from the mansion: room service, laundry service, maid service—everything. The other side was an old-style pull-down desk and, when I lifted the cover, I found a printer underneath. No computer, though. It had a fairly roomy closet. There were many other pictures on the walls and two chairs. The most wonderful thing was the bed. It was so luscious with its white fluffy down comforter and down pillows, so luxurious you sank down into them, and the whole ambiance of the bedroom was warm and wonderful. They were perfectly clean as well and smelled delightful. Not overly used and abused, but like they had just been unwrapped from their bag and opened out especially for me.

I was very excited and feeling so happy, I decided to call Bruce and tell him I had made it safely. I then proceeded to tell him all about the trip and my room so he could experience it all with me. He thought it sounded great. Then I called my mom and my grandma to tell them as well. For some reason, I felt at home right away. I think it was the feeling one gets when the dream starts moving toward reality. I sat in the bed and lay back feeling like a princess. The room was so comfortable. I turned the TV on and tried to let it all sink in.
While relaxing and looking around I noticed a shelve high up full of books. I looked at the titles from a distance. I was a little antsy so I decided to set up my makeup for easy access. I lined up all my shoes. I then wandered into the bathroom. I could tell right away that I would be sharing it. Someone had all of her personal belongings set up and was definitely unpacked to stay. On the other side of the room from where I entered was a doorway that led to a room. I opened the door and found it filled with pictures of a girl with lots friends and then I saw a Zed card (a modeling card with a variety of poses on it). Her name was Michelle. I checked out the living room, looked at the computer, the artwork on the walls and then went out to the hallway to a separate room that was similar to an atrium. It had a sun roof with a breeze from outdoors sweeping through it. There were so many places to sit, but I continued on my tour of the place and went through another door and then realized that there were two more guest rooms. Lastly, I discovered the hallway led out to the back property of the mansion where the back security gate was visible.
The two other guest rooms had two beds in each room. They did not have the homey feeling that my room had. It was a much lighter version of mine. Mine felt like five-star accommodations and theirs more like three star. Peaking in to the unlocked door of Michelle’s room which was similar to my five star arrangements, I noticed hers was actually a little bit nicer with some beautiful pictures and a little bit more space. I quickly closed it as I knew I shouldn’t be snooping around—but I simply couldn’t help myself.
All of sudden I felt lonely so I found my way back to my room and began to look at the list of people that I could call at the mansion. I found the line for room service. When I called I told them I was a new guest and I didn’t know what kinds of things I could order or how to go about it. They told me that they didn’t have a menu but that if I could think of it they could probably make it. I ordered a piece of roasted chicken and a fruit plate. She said it would be ready in about half an hour but as they didn’t have delivery service I would have to go to the kitchen and pick it up myself. They told me how to get there. Before venturing out, I dressed up in heels and the cutest-looking outfit just in case I ran into someone. You never know who you would run into! I knew my way around a little bit from the birthday party, but nothing looked familiar in the light. The night of the party had been a blur and jammed with people. It’s not surprising that I walked by the pool, but I was surprised to find there was no one around. In fact, the entire grounds seemed to be deserted. I just assumed there would always be people in the pool and on the premises. Not today.
I followed the directions to the kitchen and only ran into workers and staff. They did not seem especially friendly, and none of them really acknowledged me. They showed me where to stand because my order wasn’t quite ready and explained that they call the room as the order comes up so guests don’t have to wait. I realized I hadn’t ordered a drink. They showed me a glass-faced refrigerator with an array of drinks and let me choose whatever I wanted. I was delighted to see my favorite drink—decaffeinated Diet Pepsi. It seems most places including restaurants and bars I go to don’t carry it, which is just about the only thing I was allowed to drink according to my trainer Trent. He didn’t really want me drinking any diet products, but if I had to at least he wanted it to be decaffeinated. I felt like, “Oh gosh. I am home!” I was given a large tray, and I placed my soda and food on it. The fruit plate was as luscious with ripe fruit as at any five-star hotel, and I headed back to my room to eat. They had told me to leave the tray in the atrium as they don’t come into guests’ rooms. I was to call when finished, and someone would come out to retrieve it.
I watched TV a while and decided to call the security office to find out what time I was to go out with Hef and his girlfriends. I was told to be in the main room at the mansion at 10 to 10:15. I heard noises outside and when I peeked out I found a girl about twelve, a dog, and a boy in the living room. The girl said hello right away and asked why I was there. She wondered if I was a Playmate or doing a test shoot. I told her I was staying here at Hef’s invitation. She explained that her mom lived here and that she was Hef’s girlfriend. The little boy left and the girl explained that he was the son of one of the other girlfriends. I told her it was nice to meet her and went back to my room. I thought it was a little strange that children were there. I suppose I hadn’t thought that some of the women—and girlfriends—might be moms.
Later on it became much louder in the other room, and I purposely stepped out to use the restroom as an excuse to see who the new arrivals were. Michelle, a very petite girl I guessed to be in her middle twenties, with whom I was sharing the bathroom, had come home. She asked me the same questions her daughter had. I picked up a funny feeling from her, so I answered as positively as I could. In other words, I didn’t tell the truth. She had a threatened look on her face when she asked me how I came to be there. I told her that I had written to Hef telling him about my pictorial for Playboy on Texas Hold ‘em. I explained that I was a champion poker player and that I told him I wished I could have stayed at the mansion during the shoot like many of the girls have. I told her that I had asked him if I could stay for a few days since I didn’t get to and it was approved.
I didn’t say that I had come with the goal of staying and becoming a girlfriend. I didn’t want her to feel threatened because I wanted to be accepted right away and have her let her guard down. Michelle told me she was an official Hugh Hefner girlfriend. I asked where all of the other girls were, and she told me they were inside the mansion. She chose to live out here because it was more private for her and her daughter to live. She stayed at the mansion Wednesday through Sunday and went back to her apartment Monday and Tuesday.
I told her, “That is so neat that Hef doesn’t mind that you have a child; that this has no effect on him.”
“Oh no,” she said. “Jennifer is a girlfriend, and her son lives at the mansion as well.”
I was surprised. “That is really cool. How many official girlfriends are there?”
“There are seven and many more that are not official.”
“How do you know if you’re official or not?” I wondered.
“Well, Hef takes you into his bedroom, opens up the safe and gives you a diamond Playboy necklace. He helps you put it on, and you know you’re official.”
I admired her necklace. It sparkled, and I have to say, it was something that you noticed right away dangling there around her neck, and she made sure to remind me that they were genuine diamonds. I wanted that necklace. I had one similar, but this one was the authentic one and it was beautiful. I excused myself and went back to my room. I peeked out to ask what she suggested wearing for the evening. She told me I should select something I would wear to any club. We would be coming back here afterward. Nothing special happened on Wednesdays that I needed to know about. Fridays, however, there was a buffet dinner and an old movie and then we would go out on the town. I have to admit me and Bruce had gotten into a non-going-out routine so when she said to wear whatever you wear to a club, it was not a lot of help. I would have to improvise.
I ordered more food to make sure I was full for the evening’s events. I followed protocol this time and, when I got back, Michelle invited me to eat with her and her daughter. I kept to myself and was careful of my manners. She went over the rules of the shared bathroom. The decorative towels were hers and not to be touched. The items in there were hers and not to be used. She showed me what was provided by Playboy and what her personal things were. I thanked her and finished eating while she and her daughter watched a show. I complimented her on her Zed card that was on her door and she told me that she had been on Baywatch and a soap opera.
“I can see where you must have been a success on TV. You’re very beautiful.”
“Thanks. My head is killing me tonight, though. I just had $1,200 worth of extensions put in and it sure hurts. I feel so gross. I can’t wash them for a while and it’s driving me crazy to feel dirty.”
“Your hair looks great,” I told her. The extensions gave her that “Playboy” looks of lush hair that men just want to run their fingers through.
After I finished eating I retreated to my room and closed the door. I went back to shower and removed the days’ makeup. I put hot rollers in my hair and closed the door. I watched my makeup video to make sure it was perfect for my big evening.
I went all-ut with the makeup: fake eyelashes, contouring, highlights—the works. I put great smelling sparkle lotion all over and perfume. I was dressed to the hilt wearing my Betsy Johnson red and black dress with a very low-cut front. The dress fit me perfectly. The best thing is I had gotten it from my own used clothing store and therefore paid hardly anything for it. My diamond necklace was draped around my neck and had an extended chain that dropped past my chest. I wore my bunny earrings and a cute Playboy bracelet. I was ready to roll, and saying that I was nervous would be an understatement. I knew that I had to make a great impression and that I wanted Hef to really like me so that I could stay on and ultimately become a Playmate.

Chapter Twelve
The first night at the Mansion

The time had come, and Michelle showed me where to go in the mansion. We entered the front door of the Tudor-style mansion. My heart was racing as more and more girls started to arrive. As I stood waiting for girls to descend down the hallway I began to look around. Behind me was a picture of Hef with two great white tigers like you would see Siegfried and Roy with. On the other wall was an Olivia drawing. The girl that was always famous for the pin-up drawing in Playboy. A few beautiful women came down the grand staircase, and I thought of old movies like Sunset Boulevard or Gone with the Wind with the type of staircase you can make an entrance on. I still had not seen or spoken with Hef. Finally, he came down the stairs. He was gray-haired and walked a bit stiffly. He didn’t acknowledge me right away.
I motioned to him. “Hi. I’m Jill Ann.”
“I know who you are,” he said with a big smile. His speech was ever so slightly slurred.
He walked away to get his drink—a Jack and Coke, of course. He didn’t say anything else to me, but suddenly all of the girls were motioned to get ready for pictures and, as if rehearsed, everyone rushed to their spots and I followed. Finding nowhere to stand I sat on my knees with three other girls below Hef and the pictures were taken by an in-house photographer. The two girls that I recognized that stood closest to Hef both had their Pomeranians in hand for the picture. Hef wore a purplish-blue collared shirt and dress jacket on top. Both girls to the right of me had their hair in pig tails and wore white revealing shirts. The girl kneeled down to my left was a long dark-haired beauty with a bra top on. There was a total of thirteen girls: Nicole, Britney, Michelle, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, Jennifer, Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, Isabella, Kelly, Amanda, Kate, Tera, Melissa, and me. The only girl not able to attend the party was the girl in one of the rooms upstairs that had just had her nose operated on. I guess she had the “I’m hurt pass” for the night; this was Sarah. None of the girls acknowledged that I was even there except the obviously nonofficial girlfriends. They were extremely nice and friendly, but any girl who was wearing the official necklace did not make eye contact, including Michelle. So much for what I had read about no jealousy. Michelle had seemed so friendly out in the guest house, and suddenly I felt like she had turned on me. To say I felt a chill was an understatement, but I know that I am a sincere person, and I felt I could eventually win over these women.
One of the girls, at least, named Kelly, was exceptionally nice and seemed to latch on to me right away. Since she was really the only one, naturally I talked back.
“Are you one of Hef’s girlfriends?” I asked.
“Oh, no, Hef and his girlfriends call me usually Tuesdays to invite me to go out with them on Wednesdays and call me Thursdays to go out on Fridays. I’m also called every week to come up for fun in the sun on Sundays.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s where we all lay out by the pool and have dinner and a movie.”
“That sounds really cool,” I said. “Do they call you before every time you come up?”
“Yes.” She pointed to a gal named Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, and said she also drove up when they called her.
She asked what my story was, and since she was not an official girlfriend I just told her that Hef asked me to stay for a few days and left it at that.
As soon as the pictures were taken, everyone immediately left the house and headed down the back way of the mansion. It was dark, and the concrete on the driveway was very uneven. I stepped on a rock and both Kelly and a gal named Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door grabbed me before I fell. I was wearing very high heels that were killing me and very hard to walk in—the price we women pay for being sexy! All of us walked down the long path in the darkness to a huge SUV limo with a big Playboy bunny on the door. There would be no mistaking us as we drove down the road! There were many bodyguards to help us into the car and make sure we were in safely. All these men were very large and well-built, all dressed in “L.A. chic” with black shirts and dark pants. And all looked like you wouldn’t want to mess with them. Again, as if rehearsed, all of the girls seemed to have a certain place that they sat inside the limo, and by the time I got in I was all the way up front with, of course, the five girls who didn’t have official necklaces on. I didn’t mind this and settled into the plush leather seats. I was going to make sure not to step on any toes or make the girls not want me part of their group.
Inside the limo, Hef started to take pictures of groups of girls. Not saying a word but motioning to get closer we all took turns posing with different groups of girls based on the side of the limo you were on. There was loud music playing party songs to get us all in the mood for clubbing, and flashing lights and straws for every drink so that the girls wouldn’t mess their lipstick. Hef opened a bottle of Dom Perignon with a “pop” and started pouring it in glasses for all of us. I was quite impressed. I was like a little kid and opened up a bag of gummy bears and made myself at home. It was as though I had found my niche. I loved it. I never smiled so much. Since no one other than Kelly had showed any interest I decided to introduce myself hoping that if they felt I wasn’t a threat they would open up to me. I assumed it was like high school. If I wanted to be part of a group of popular kids I had to have them feel I was on their level.
“I’m Jill Ann. I did an entire pictorial for Playboy in April because I’m a professional poker player. It’s nice to meet everyone, and I want to thank all of you for having me with you.”
The music was loud, but I tried to speak over it. The response I got was complete silence. At the moment, I felt completely stupid, but I still hoped they would accept me. When we arrived at the club, Hef stepped out of the limo and helped each girl exit the car, following all of us into the club. Bodyguards were at the front and back of the line. They cleared the way for our big entrance and helped to make certain we entered safely. Paparazzi were out front snapping pictures of us getting out of the limo and the flashes were incredible. People were taking pictures, and I felt like a celebrity. Behind the velvet rope—on the other side—were people in their best outfits trying to get admitted to the club, but of course with Hef we were just instantly squired in. Everyone was looking at me. All the security, the limo, the pictures—it was a dream come true. I reflected on my guest room, the maid service, room service, laundry service, a great place to stay, the mansion, a place where celebrities hang out—I was sold! This was a lifestyle I could get used to!
We arrived at our roped-off table to find gigantic bottles of chilled Evian and champagne glasses. As soon as we were seated, one of the bodyguards was instructed to take a picture of us. Again, every girl seemed to have a predetermined spot next to Hef, and the five unofficial girls tried to get in the picture. It was strange, like learning a new language or something . . . everyone else seemed to know what to do, and I was trying to learn as I went along. A waitress took our order—we could drink anything we wanted. I didn’t want to overindulge and preferred to stay sharp. All of us didn’t say much. The music was loud, and I was very excited.
I looked around our table. These were women with a certain look—like the one I had achieved. They were in sexy clothes that showed off toned legs and tan bodies. Each had her hair freshly styled. If her hair was long and straight, it had obviously been done with a flat iron to get the “movie star” silky looks (or they were extensions). If they opted for a curlier look, they were those fluffy gorgeous curls most women would kill for. Not one face was marred by imperfection, and the makeup all wore was perfectly done to show off high cheekbones and exotic eyes. Some were platinum blondes—that white blonde that turns heads. Though the process to get platinum hair can be brutal on the hair itself, these women obviously took advantage of expensive hair treatments to keep it silky and soft.
I bent to Kelly’s ear. “Wow. Look at all the guys staring over here.” No wonder, I thought to myself.
“Oh, God, don’t look,” she said.
“Why not?” I was puzzled.
“Hef gets very upset if you aren’t giving full attention to him. Even if you see someone you recognize, don’t acknowledge them.”
I believed her. She didn’t look around at all and when I actually paid attention, none of the official girlfriends were looking around. I made sure that for the entire night I didn’t look anywhere but at Hef and the girlfriends. Again, it was like trying to learn something totally new. I promised myself I would be more observant.
Kelly said, “If you need to go to the bathroom, there is a special one for us and you have to be escorted by a bodyguard.”
I needed to go, so she went with me to show me what to do. On the way, I tried to make a little small talk with the bodyguard without much response. When I got inside the bathroom I mentioned to Kelly about the bodyguards seeming cold. She told me that they aren’t supposed to interact with us; we are Hugh Hefner’s dates, not theirs. I said it seems the same way at the mansion with the butlers and staff. She said they are not supposed to have eye contact with you or talk to you about anything but the most necessary things. I got the message. Once finished we were escorted back to the table by the bodyguard.
Hef hadn’t said one word to me since the greeting at the mansion. We were all getting drinks. Hef stood up and said, “Let’s dance.”
Everyone got up and moved to the floor. The girls ordered shots and drank them readily. I managed to avoid drinking at all. I wanted to be in full control and hid the fact I wasn’t partying like the rest of them. As a poker player, I knew to keep my wits about me at the table—smart gamblers don’t drink at the table. Now I was gambling to be a Playmate, and I wanted to stay sharp. Hef was dancing around with different groups of girls, and then he came over to me and gave me a great big smile. I had watched all the party tapes of the mansion galas and noticed that every single girl kissed him on the mouth. I had planned this and was ready.
I kissed him on the lips and said, “Thank you so much for having me here.”
He didn’t respond but smiled again. The smile seemed genuine, and he looked like he was having a good time. He got into the rhythm of the music that was pulsing. Other girls came near, and we all started dancing and then I felt him put his hand on my butt. I suddenly felt out of my element—like someone working undercover. I was doing something for a goal and had to act the part. No one had touched me except Bruce for many years, but I couldn’t give that away. I was not unhappy that he touched me. He was the most powerful man in the world of my dreams that I had held on to for so many years. All the girlfriends would kiss him and dance sexily with him. It was all an act for his image. I figured the seventy-six-year-old guy probably couldn’t get it up anymore and that he hadn’t for a long time and that was why no girlfriends were mad at him. Later in the evening he came over to me again and was dancing with me. He kissed me on the mouth, and I asked Kelly to take a picture of us dancing together. Without him saying one word, he motioned to Kelly that it was okay to take the picture and at that moment he put his arms around me, clinching my right breast, and we were cheek to cheek for the picture. I asked Kelly to also take one with my camera.
“After this, I and my girlfriends go upstairs and party. We would like you to join.”
I said just one word. “Sure.”
I was having a blast, but it was still hard not to look around to see who was watching us. About a half hour after this brief conversation, it was suddenly time to leave. All of us were escorted in a line by bodyguards to the limo, Hef at the rear. I assumed my position up in the front of the limo.
Kelly whispered to me, “Hef would like you to come upstairs with him and his girlfriends when we get back to the mansion.”
“He said that to me when we were dancing, but I didn’t know what would happen for sure.”
“He really likes you. You’re so beautiful and nice. I wish you were one of them.”
“Well, if I become an official girlfriend I’ll ask them to invite you every time we go out.”
She was incredulous. “Really?”
“Yes. You’re so nice and fun. You’re terrific.” Kelly was so enthused she was smiling from ear to ear.
She said, “When you get back to the mansion you won’t have to do anything. You can just watch. You don’t have to participate. I’ll guide you through the entire time, and I’ll be with you all the way. Hef told me personally to take care of you.”
I was unbelievably excited to find out what happened “upstairs”—this mythical place of legend. I had no idea what to expect.
I was excited and very curious. We all left the club and I was ushered into Hef’s luxurious limousine—designed to get us noticed. I noticed Hef passing out a pill of some kind to his girlfriends in the limo. In a whisper, I asked Kelly what he was giving them, and she said I had to be an official girlfriend before
I would get one. The limo headed back to the mansion. Expensive champagne flowed, and girls, one dressed sexier than the next and all voluptuous, were hanging all over Hef. The music intense and I could feel the base shaking my whole body. The flashing lights inside the limo made me feel like I was on a disco floor.
We pulled up to the outside gates of the back of mansion, got out, and proceeded to walk up the long mansion drive in the dark, and headed in through the mansion’s front door and all walked up the stairs. There were two sides of the stairs and the official girlfriends proceeded up the left side and the non official girls proceeded up the right side. It was a staircase made out of wood with two big mirrors when you got to the top of the stair case. You then headed through a smaller entrance that veered off to different hallways to the upstairs part of the mansion. Hef’s bedroom straight to the right and heading to the left were the girlfriend’s rooms. Isabella’s was the first one on the right and Jennifer and Amanda’s on the left. The next room was for Nicole and Sarah. The hallway continued down to other rooms and offices.
The girls went in different directions—not straight into Hef’s bedroom. Kelly took me quickly through a very large walk-in closet filled with Hef’s pajamas, memorabilia, pictures and tons of clothing. We walked through quickly, but I tried to look around. You could tell that Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door (Madison) had all of her things in the master closet as well. Pictures of her and Hef, her and Hef, and her and Hef. Other pictures of old celebrities just pushed up along the mirror. Tons of girlish coats and shoes were everywhere and the closet was arranged in the way of tons of shelves, little areas and sections for things. The whole mansion was like no place I had ever been before, and I was awed by all of the items in the closet. Kelly went to a section in the closet where an entire row of dry-cleaned pink pajamas hung as she handed me a set on a hanger. Next to them was Hef’s silk pajamas–cherry, ivory, black, blue, purple, magenta, aquamarine. I guess they must have been one size fits all because she did not look for a size.
Then she led me to a gigantic marble bathtub.
“First, you have to take a bath.”
Looking over as if I was going to drown, I zoned in on the tub for a moment. It was rectangular but double the size of a normal bathtub. It had old yellow square tiles inside the tub and I looked down only to find that it was very deep. I felt scared. Kelly saw it in my eyes.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “You only have to participate if you want to. It’s hilarious and you won’t ever forget it. When you’re older you can write a book!” She turned the dials on the tub and adjusted the water to get it to a perfectly warm temperature and she grabbed a large bottle of bubble bath and squeezed it loudly into the water. The bathtub began to stir up with bubbles like mothers ran for there children except these children standing near the tub were much older and the ending result probably was not going to have the same warm and fuzzy feeling.
She quickly began to undress and unbuttoned her jeans and kicked off her heels and let down her top and was naked in less then a minute with all of her clothes in a huge pile on the floor. I removed my shoes and stood barefoot on the cold tile floor. I began to take off my necklace and she stood closely behind me to help me unlatch the clasp. I unscrewed my earrings and belly button rings and laid them gently next to my necklace. My bracelet that clutched my arm was next and struggling to get it unclasped with one hand Kelly touched my hand softly and removed the bracelet and set it next to my other belongings. I could feel the warmth of her naked body next to mine and her hair touched the back of my neck as she unzipped my dress. I used my fingertips to move the straps from my shoulders and the dress fell to the floor. I moved slowly to remove my g-string still scared of what I was doing at the moment or what I was feeling.
The room was silent except for the water running in the tub. I noticed two or three large candles around the bath tub and a bar of soap, some lotion and face wipes. Behind the bathtub was a completely out of place white cabinet with toiletries in them and a little white piggy bank sitting on the top. The wallpaper on the walls was a strange yellow flower print seemingly from the 1920s. A “name” plant was in one corner of the bathroom. A doctor style white stand-up scale was against one of the walls to make sure none of his Playmates had gained too much weight!
While the warm water ran, she started to whisper quietly to me.
“We’re going to go in and sit on the bed. If you don’t want to participate just keep your bottoms on. Otherwise, take them off. I’ll be with you the entire time, and we’ll stay together. I’m going to pretend to give you oral sex and you can touch me, or kiss me or whatever you’re comfortable doing. All the girls will be around us doing the same thing. They’re all faking it. No one is bisexual so don’t touch another girl unless she touches you. If you watch you’ll be able to tell that they’re totally acting—nothing is really going on. Just follow my lead and you’ll be fine.”
I started to relax. In my mind, I talked to myself. I knew it. I knew it. I can do this. I can pretend to kiss another girl. No problem. I can handle this. He probably just sits there and watches all of us pretend to pleasure ourselves, I thought to myself.
I assumed it was all for show, like a put-on private striptease. On some level, I naively thought it was about showing off our bodies, but not actually doing anything sexual.
A girl named Isabella came into the bathroom and asked us what we wanted to drink. I ordered a Diet Coke and Malibu. Kelly had the same. Kelly as if rehearsing for her Playmate Video dipped her toes into the bathtub and then slowly immersed herself among the bubbles. She grabbed another bottle of probably some sexy-smelling liquid soap and started touching herself. I watched admiringly because I had actually never seen a girl bath before. She lathered under her arms and then her private parts. She quickly got out and dried off with a huge fluffy towel that was next to the tub. A girl named Britney walked in completely naked. Not sure where she had dropped her clothes or had been in the past 10 minutes but she arrived knowing the routine and immediately immersed her self in the bathtub. She was not shy at all and was not covering herself up with bubbles she was standing up and really giving herself a good scrub down. The bathtub had a hand held attachment to rinse you off or to pleasure yourself in some cases such as a shower but it was mounted in the bathtub.
Kelly told me that I needed to get a move-on, and I asked her if I should wait for the other girl to leave the tub. She said, “Oh no. Go on in.” Being a clean freak I already felt a little weird bathing in the same water as these other two gals. I tried to blow it off thinking it was just like a swimming pool except smaller and put the thought out of my mind. However, I was an only child. I didn’t even have brother and sisters to bathe with, and I wasn’t use to sharing!
This was a cleansing ritual done by every girl invited upstairs. All the official girlfriends were supposed to be doing the same thing in their own personal bathrooms. I pictured that back in my shared bathroom that Michelle was scrubbing up for the big event and putting on her special pink PJs.
Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door came into the bathroom and did not look thrilled to see me. I didn’t want to get my hair wet and Kelly diffused the situation by asking if Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door had a hair clip. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door gave me one, and I thanked her over and over again. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door was near the sink with a stack of hand towels, and she was soaking them in water and wringing them out before placing them in a bowl.
I found a rubber duck on the side of the bathtub and squeezed it out of child’s play. Stepping slowly into the bathtub trying not to give eye contact to the girl in the bathtub figuring she might not appreciate it. She smiled at me and said “Don’t worry you can look”
“What am I supposed to do?” I asked as I got into the tub.
“Wash under your arms, privates, and elsewhere, just like a regular bath.”
“This isn’t regular for me.” I smiled.
Hef walked into the bathroom in his signature bathrobe with his throw away camera in hand. I felt a little shocked, kind of like your dad just walked in on you using the toilet and you were embarrassed. Kelly asked if it was okay if he took a picture. I said, “Sure.”
Britney and I put our arms around each other and are nipples smashed each other as we hugged to pose for the picture. Giving not my huge normal smile but my naughty sexy smile with my arm dangling out of the tub. By this time all of the bubbles were almost gone but the bathtub was so deep that you couldn’t even see our belly buttons. Still suds were hanging off my right breast and covered my arm that was out of the tub. He took a picture of Britney and me naked in the tub. Hef went into the small toilet room adjacent to the tub and Britney got out of the tub and began to dry off. I stepped out of the tub leaving it fully standing with water and began to dry off. Kelly reached in and unplugged the tub to release the water. Hef walked by and headed into the other room.
All of the girls seem to have vanished, and it was just Kelly and me in the bathroom together. The room echoed as we spoke with the marble all around us. I went to the restroom and took my time. I was very nervous. I sat on the toilet actually doing nothing and not even going to the bathroom. I was trying to assess the situation, which seemed to be growing more out of control by the moment. I already had my pink pajamas on which were full-length pants all the way to past my ankles and the buttoned up top which was also oversized. Isabella came rushing in and told us to hurry up; everyone was waiting for us. I quickly came out of the bathroom and shut the door. Kelly grabbed my hand and led me into the main bedroom of Hugh Hefner. It was very dark. Looking down on the ground as we walked to find my way around stacks and stacks of videos that consumed the floor. The only light came from two gigantic big screen TVs. Extremely loud techno music was playing. On the big screen TV’s was to my surprise guys having anal sex. It was very graphic and noisy
I was fully dressed in my pink pajamas, and there was a gigantic group of girls circled around Hef’s bed with buzzing vibrators in each of their hands. Hef was in the middle.
Isabella, standing to the left of the bed, said, “Take off your clothes.” Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door was positioned to the left of Hef. Jennifer and Amanda were to the far right at the end of the bed. Melissa was at the end of the bed in front of Hef. Michelle and Nicole were together to the right of Hef. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door was to the right of Hef near Melissa.
I was a little startled, but I took off my shirt and threw it behind me on the floor. Kelly took a spot on the side of the bed and motioned for me to join her. The drinks arrived, and Isabella was holding a tray. Isabella bent down and finally put the semi-loaded tray on the ground.
Kelly asked her to hand us our drinks. “Diet with Malibu” she exclaimed.
She did, with a sarcastic, “Will there be anything else?” rolling her eyes as if she had been lowered to a waitress and was literally pissed off about it.
I didn’t think much about it at the time. I was too busy looking around catching an eyeful of stuff going on around. Looking up I noticed the ceiling completely mirrored for great observation of everyone and anyone that was part of the scene. Taking a full gulp of my drink to relax a little, I found a place to put it at the headboard of the bed.
The start of the evening was thirteen girls. Now there were eleven of us. Tera and Kate were the only ones that had not gone upstairs for the afterwards party. Nicole, Britney, Michelle, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, Jennifer, Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, Isabella, Kelly, Amanda, Melissa, and I all were present and accounted for.
In the middle of the bed was Hugh Hefner himself fully erect. He began giving himself a hand job. I watched him begin to kiss Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, his main girlfriend, and he began to stroke his penis even harder. They were intensely making out as if no one was in the room at all and she looked like she was deep tonguing him and they were really going at it. I felt happy for him that he still had the stamina to get an erection, but I felt sorry for him because he definitely looked old. It’s a shame that even though in the mind we might be young our body doesn’t care and goes on without us. He was almost neon white with no tan at all. With clothes on he seemed to look okay, but with his clothes off he looked not appealing. He was still one of the most looked up to men in the United States to many guys, but the sight of him was a bit pathetic.
My mind flashed to the episode of Sex and the City in which Samantha decided to date an older guy. Carrie was trying to find out how old and said, “Sweetie is he on Medicare?” Samantha tries to convince Carrie that he is a millionaire many of times over. Early Bird Special? And finally Carrie asked “Are you telling me you’re seriously capable of have sex with a senior?”
“Unfortunately Ed’s ass was the ass of an older man,” went the voiceover and Samantha snuck out of the bedroom. With clothes on he was okay but with clothes off he was just a very non-tan white old man. He had that tan that was only where the sun saw, which were his arms and face and no other part of his body I guess. For some reason this took away much of the excitement so I decided to focus on the girls.
I wasn’t a lesbian but I loved to look at girls. Each time the Playboy magazine would arrive I would be excited to open up and see what the girl looked like. How beautiful and soft she looked and so perfect. I had always been the kind of a gal that was a looker and an admirer but never had a crush on a girl or anything like that. I only had envy for girls with amazing bodies and wanted mine to look like theirs. I realized that Playboy magazine was actually the first girl I had ever seen naked. I always kept to myself even in gym class and was one never to shower with the other gals. I guess I was just too shy. But I was grown now and I was in a room full of naked women. I tried not to stare, and at the same time, I felt like I was hurtling on a train with no brakes. I had no idea where the train was going—not yet—and I didn’t know how to get off. I tried to stay calm.
Settling in next to Kelly with my arms closely to my side I sat there motionless waiting for instructions as my eyes roamed the room. Each girl had their own Hitachi Vibrator placed on her private parts. Cords were everywhere it seemed, and I thought quickly in my mind on how they should get cordless ones at least! Note to Hef (cordless vibrators would be more convenient). They had their vibrators all on and buzzing.
My heart was about to leap out of my chest. Everyone was topless except Isabella who kept her bra on. She was one of the only naturally large-breasted girls in the room. I figured she kept her bra on to give them full support otherwise they were the kind that would not look as sexy untamed. I had already seen her cyber shoot and noticed they had her in many uplifting outfits with under wires for support. My heart was hammering and felt like it would burst out of my chest.
Kelly helped me get my own personal vibrator. One of the girls complained that my vibrator cord was tangled in hers, and Kelly moved my leg to release her cord. I was one girl away from Hef with my body against the headboard. I was not a foreigner to a vibrator and put it to up against my private parts. Hef and Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door were still making out.
Once all of us were settled Kelly whispered to me. “As soon as Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door starts giving him a blow job, I’m going to pretend to go down on you.” I was wide-eyed and assessed the situation, nodding my head in agreement. He must have sex with his main girlfriend and everyone else pretends to be having sex until they’re done. I can handle this. I can do this. I’m okay. I was convinced that I could definitely do this to be a girlfriend and a Playmate.
Hef placed a rolled cigarette in his mouth and lit it with a lighter. Inhaling in to show the red fire at the end to make sure it was burning he held his breath for an extended period of time and then exhaled. He then passed it to each girl around the room, first being Isabella who breathed in deeply to let it fill her lungs and then slowly exhaled it out. It was passed around the room till it got to me. I waved it by because I had never smoked a rolled cigarette before. I wanted to be in complete control and trying something new I didn’t think was the best time right then. The rolled cigarette was passed by everyone.
Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door slowly crouching beside Hef now, kissing his chest, licking the skin as her mouth slid slowly, teasingly down his body. She put her tongue in his navel. She then slowly lowered her mouth all the way down to the base of Hef’s cock, drew it back, then lowered it again. Hef moaned and arched his back. She moved expertly up and down his penis, with Hef moving her hair back so he could see her motions better in the mirrors.
All of the girls partnered up and started making a lot of noise and pretending they were having girl-on-girl sex. Each girl was panting or moaning, making noises like porn stars. Kelly lowered her head into my lap. She never did anything to me but made noises like she was. I could feel her soft hair brush up against my inner thighs and her hot breath from her breathing.
I was busy staring up at the ceiling. Hef was watching me, and it looked like he liked that I was watching.
He touched the top of Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door’s head as to motion her to quit giving him oral. Taking out a bottle of Johnson’s baby oil that had Hef’s Baby Oil written on it she poured it quickly down his shaft. She then proceeded to mount him upright. She moaned as she slid down him and then rode him for about two minutes. He again touched the top of her head as a signal to get off. When she was done she took one of the warm plush towels out of a nearby bowl (the same one from the bathroom) and wiped his penis off. She applied fresh baby oil on his penis. She stood up and began to sexily strap on a large fake penis. Adjusting it to fit her she then began to stroke it and stroke it holding onto the bed frame and making a lot of noise as if she was fully being pleasured. Unlike the other girls that were all partnered up she stood alone in her own little fantasy world raising her leg up and her hands back and fourth against the plastic strap on.
Nicole started to crawl her way up to the front of the bed and without hesitation flopped her left leg over Hef’s body and then slowly mounted herself on top of him. He held his penis to insert it inside her. With the baby oil as lube she began to slowly go up and down on him with her long blonde hair that covered her breasts flap against her body.
Suddenly startled by the next girls’ mounting I looked over at Kelly and gasped. I couldn’t stop my heart. What had I gotten myself into? What did I do now? I turned to Kelly. “They don’t use any protection!” I was not about to get into the oh my god he has sex with girls other then his main girlfriend question. It was too late for that.
Kelly, “No, they don’t.”
I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. Nicole slid slowly up and down Hef, occasionally leaning down and letting her platinum hair sweep sexily across his chest. She was doing much less then Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door. I should say not so much drama and noisemaking. Hef tapped her on her arm to tell her he had enough and she moved off him quickly. She headed back over to Michelle and they paired up for some more fake lesbian sex fun. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door like a good little main girlfriend grabbed Hef’s penis and cleaned it off with a new towel from the bowl and applied fresh baby oil for the next performance.
Kelly was down between my legs breathing on the right side of my leg making noise.
Out of the blue, Isabella yelled at Kelly and said it looked like she was faking it. I was terrified and felt like we have both just been caught in school doing something wrong by the teacher. Isabella was trying to get us into trouble with Hef and the other girls. Again, so much for the myth that there was no jealousy or rivalry!
Kelly raised her head up and looked over at Isabella as if she was the boss and gave her a sad look as to say, “I will try harder I promise” Kelly asked me if it was okay if she touched my breasts.
Feeling like things were rapidly growing out of my control, I nodded. She began to massage my left breast and knowing that I was being watched I closed my eyes and let out a slight moan of enjoyment.
“That feels so good” I told her. She looked extremely pleased with herself.
“Try to speak as loud as you can because he can’t hear out of one side and we are on that side. Try to make it sound really intense.”
I had no intention of climbing on Hef, so I figured that pretending like I was getting into Kelly was my safest bet of surviving this whole insane situation. “You can lick them if you want to,” I whispered. Kelly leaned forward and flicked her tongue around my nipples.
I rolled my head back again to show that I was enjoying myself making sure to say the “oh yes” in almost a screaming voice. I noticed the others in the bedroom were watching us, which sent a shiver of excitement all throughout my body.
She moved up towards my ear and started licking the inside of my ear. She quickly stopped but kept her hair covering my face.
“Have you always been hairless?” she asked in a soft voice. I was shocked by the question because my pink pajamas were still on. I quickly remembered that I was naked in the bathtub.
“Yes, it makes it easier to maintain. I use to have mine like yours . . . the landing strip I would call it but I never could keep it straight.” Peering down at her private parts as to demonstrate how difficult it was for me to shave precisely to have not too much hair on one side or the other.
Quietly she whispered again to me. “I am bisexual so do what ever you want with me. I am the only girl in this room that is. I put myself through college making girl-on-girl films. That is why many of the girls don’t like me because they know I will really do it that I don’t have to fake it.”
My hand started to tremble as I reached out to stroke her breast. It felt soft and luscious, much similar to mine but so different because, of course, they weren’t mine. I squeezed them slightly like I was in a supermarket trying to pick the perfect peach to eat. I felt a rush of adrenaline flow through me as I continued to softly caress her nipple.
She looked extremely pleased that I had taken the plunge and had started to relax.
Each girl was panting or moaning, making noises like porn stars. Nicole and Michelle were partnered up. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door and Britney were partnered up. Melissa and Isabella were more of loaners joining in now in then with different girls. Amanda had a large whip and was striking Jennifer. Jennifer was bent over laughing as Amanda was hitting her bottom with the whip. I could hear the sound of striking flesh or at least the sound of the whip cracking.
Kelly whispered, “They aren’t really spanking each other. You can tell that the whip is barely hitting her.”
Melissa was sitting by herself with a big black dildo in her mouth. She was sucking on it and Britney came up and started sucking on the other end of it with her. It was a dual dildo that had a cock at each end. They were smiling at each other as they were lunging forward at each other sucking on their large plastic toy.
Kelly whispered, “See Amanda and Jennifer aren’t even really kissing”
Jennifer said, “Fuck her with that big cock, Daddy.”
Michelle echoed, “Give it to her, Daddy.”
Amanda screamed out, “Oh give it to her, Daddy.”
Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door was still stroking her fake penis and making moans and groans as if it was up inside of her and making her crazy. Yet every two or three minutes, she would lean down to stop the emotion of her simulated hand job to be able to clean Hef’s penis off for the next girl. Jennifer went next. Pigtails and all, she was jumped up on top like a girl was to ride a horse or a bull. With just a straight up and down motion she began to give him his two-minute ride.
Again the chorus of girls screamed, “Ride her, Daddy!”
Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door’s moaned out, “Give it to her, Daddy.”
Nicole piped up, “Oh fuck her, Daddy.”
Amanda said, “Give it to her hard.”
Hef tapped Jennifer tapped her on the shoulder meaning it was time to get off. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door stopped stroking the strap-on and leaned down to access her duties. Wipe off, wipe off, and reapply the baby oil. She then immediately stood back in her zone away from the other girls. She removed the strap on and was then holding the vibrator up to herself.
Kelly would not be quiet. She kept saying things like “they aren’t really kissing” or “she isn’t really doing such and such to her.” Kelly asked if she could kiss me and I agreed. She put her lips against mine and kissed me with no tongue action. I have to admit the kiss ran a shot of adrenaline down to my inner core. I was no longer a non kissed virgin. This was my actual first kiss with a girl even for play. She held her lips against mine, and I closed my eyes. Expecting more of a kiss she just held her mouth there and gently touched them against mine. We had both angled are heads to the side, and she was gentle and soft.
Michelle, my roommate, went next and had sex with him without protection for about two minutes. All the girls in the room were yelling. “Fuck her, Dad. Fuck her hard. Oh, what a big cock. Oh, ride her, Daddy. Give it to her, Daddy.” This went on through every single girl who rode him. Some were very seductive; some played it up to the mirrors. Some moved faster, and still others were arching back, letting him get full view of their bodies.
All of the girls that had sex with him did it while he was lying on his back except one girl they called China Doll, “Melissa.” She was an Asian girl with extremely long, black hair that shone glossy thick. He got up on top of this girl and had sex with her in that position, gazing into her eyes. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door wiped off Hef’s penis between each intercourse. When Hef got up on China Doll, Kelly said quietly to me that this would really piss off the other girls. He didn’t get on top of anyone else. Kelly was keeping a continuous monologue to distract me or keep me focused that this was really hurting Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door. She was the only one who really loved Hef, Kelly told me, and it killed her to watch him have sex with all of these girls. It was true that the room seemed to go quiet when he had sex with China Doll. The usual cheering was not happening. It seemed that all the girls were letting Hef know of their disapproval.
Kelly said to me, “I have to go and thank Hef for the BMW he bought me. I’ll be right back. You’ll be okay.” With all those other girls on that same penis she grabbed it strong in her hands and began to suck on his penis. It disgusted me at the sight just thinking of the smell and the germs of the whole thing. Since Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door had already applied baby oil on his parts she had no choice but to give him a blow job with it drenched in baby oil. As she finished she came back over her mouth fully wet and her lips glistened. She wiped her hand across her mouth to remove the baby oil. She didn’t have intercourse with him but gave him her full two-minute turn.
She came back, and we continued to play girl-on-girl acts.
She continued to lick my nipples and touch my breasts. She motioned me to touch her and to do the same to her. I pushed both of them together making them have cleavage and began to squeeze them. Maybe I was the only one not faking. I was enjoying the experience. This was the first time I had ever done this. I was thinking that this was okay. I had experienced a lot this evening; first orgy, first seeing someone having sex in front of me, first having to pretend to have sex with a girl, kissing a girl, what was next?
Kelly asked me, “Do you want to have sex with him? It is a major honor. The girls are tested often.”
I told her, “I think I’ll play hard to get.”
She set me straight. “He doesn’t play that way. He’s old and doesn’t need the challenge. He has girls willing to sleep with him anytime.”
I told her, “I’m okay right now. Aren’t you afraid he’ll hear us talking?”
Kelly replied, “No. He can’t hear with this loud music playing anyways we are on the side of him that he can’t hear out of.” (He actually is hard of hearing, in his right ear.)
I was so worried about being in trouble or someone hearing what we were talking about. I wasn’t going to be participating so I figured I might as well watch because no one would believe me once I left the Mansion that all this was going on. Isabella didn’t have sex with him and neither did Amanda. Kelly just gave him a blowjob. Seven girls all rode him for their two minutes. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door took a new towel out of the bowl after each girl had sex with Hef, and she then proceeded to wipe off Hef’s penis putting the used towel in a different bowl. She then applied new baby oil to his penis for each new girl. I guess the towel was their form of protection. I knew they didn’t test me. I could have had sex with him. Who knew what, if anything, I had? This was crazy! I knew Bruce and I were monogamous, but they had no idea who I really was or what kind of lifestyle I led!
After all of the girls were done with him, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door took a large bottle of baby oil that had a label “Hef’s Baby Oil” on it and poured a huge amount down her back. It slid down seductively and her back glistened. Then she had anal sex with Hef. All the girls were in the background screaming, “Fuck her up the ass. Put your big cock up her ass. Give it to her.” I was shocked, not so much by the act itself—though that surprised me—but because I also knew anal sex carried with it the highest risk for AIDS and other diseases. He slowly slid his penis into her, and she clearly was used to this as she didn’t grimace or react in pain.
Hef finally spoke. “My cock is up her ass.” He started making strange noises. After about two minutes, he withdrew, and his penis was still fully erect. He began to stroke himself and made all kinds of graphic noises, almost rehearsed, like in porno movies. Yet he seemed lost in his own fantasy. He was jacking himself off, and when he climaxed his legs jumped all around and he kept holding on to himself and making a lot of noise.
As soon as he had ejaculated, he laid back down, and he and Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door started making out on the bed as if no one else was in the room, and at that point all the girls removed themselves and disappeared.
My mind was spinning. What had I just witnessed?
I found my way back to the bathroom and started putting back all of my clothes and jewelry on. I could hardly catch my breath from the night’s events. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door came into the bathroom with all of the vibrators and seemed to toss them madly by throwing them down into the sink. She began to washing all of them.
I asked her if she needed help, and she waved me off. Looking at the pink pajamas, it looked like they were custom-made with no label inside the pants or the shirt. The top had large covered buttons and one pocket in the front. It additionally had two more pockets down at the bottom one on both sides. It has a turn down collar and a very soft texture, probably 100 percent cotton. Kelly was still with me, and she showed me where to throw the pink pajamas. I finished getting dressed and headed down the stairs with Kelly.
I asked her, “He gave you a BMW?”
“Oh, God,” she said. “Don’t tell anyone. None of the other girls know, and they would be pretty mad.”
“I’m not going to say anything,” I reassured her.
She told me that she had driven in and hinted about coming to my room, but I didn’t know if I was allowed visitors. She understood. We swapped phone numbers and said goodnight. I headed back to the guest house. Michelle’s daughter was in the living room watching TV, and I could tell Michelle was in the shower. I went to my room and closed the door. I immediately called Bruce from my cell phone and told him everything. I spoke as quietly as I could in case someone was listening. I didn’t go into great detail but told him the highlights.
“Oh my God, you’re not going to believe this. He has sex with all of those young girls!”
“You’re kidding. How do you know? Did they tell you that?”
“Bruce, I saw it with my own eyes. Hef invited me to go upstairs with him and his girlfriends. They made me put on these pajamas and take a bath. Then they led me into the main bedroom, and there was gay porn on the TV and girls all around Hef’s bed and each of them had a vibrator. He was in the middle with an erection and his main girlfriend started blowing him and then all of the girls were pretending to have sex with each other and making all kinds of noise, screaming things. Then each girl had sex with him and then, at the very end, he had anal sex with Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door. After that, everyone left.”
“Did he touch you?” Bruce wanted to know.
I told him, “No, not at all. I kept my underpants on and that was a signal that I was not participating. Hef took a picture of me and other girls naked in the bathtub. The girls said he would give me a copy of it. Oh, yeah! He lit a rolled cigarette and passed it around.”
“Did you smoke it?”
“No. He gave the girlfriends pills when we were riding in the limo.”
I was talking a mile a minute and Bruce didn’t say much—he let me get it all out. When I told him the story it wasn’t in any particular order. Sometimes I remembered details that I just plugged in when I could catch my breath.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I told Bruce I would call him later. When I opened the door I found Michelle standing there. She invited me to join them in the living room. They had a little dog—that made me happy. The biggest thing I was missing was my puppy Hold ‘em. The dog jumped in my lap and petting him made me feel more comfortable and relaxed.
She sent her daughter to bed and turned to me. “Oh, I feel so gross.”
“Don’t worry. You get to have your hair washed tomorrow.”
“No. That’s not what I mean. I haven’t had sex with Hef in a while but I knew if I didn’t he would be mad.” She seemed embarrassed that I had seen her having sex with him. I pretended I didn’t hear her.
“I saw him handing out those pills. What do they do?”
“They’re supposed to relax you. If you watch you’ll see I pretend to take it and slip it into my purse.”
We ended sitting up for quite a while. I said, “Wow. That was pretty wild!” I referred to the evening upstairs.
She said, “The first time I went up there I started crying and was completely traumatized. If I had had any idea of what went on up there I would never have gone.”
Again, readers, I know it may sound naïve, but remember that I had researched the whole Playboy mystique. At no time did I think or believe that he actually had sex with all these girls. Who would? At his age? I could tell that when Michelle mentioned her first time, she must have had the same sort of thinking. Yeah, maybe he made out with a girl, or maybe they hung out and watched porn, but this whole weird staged freak show? I wouldn’t have believed it.
I asked her, “How did you get involved in this whole thing, anyway?”
“My best friend, Tina Jordan, brought me into the group. She had been dating Hef for a long time.”
“Didn’t she tell you what happens up there?”
“No, and she knew I would never have gone up there if I had known.”
I nodded.
She said, “I’m thinking about moving out. I just can’t put up with everything anymore. You know, my car broke down and Hef gave me the money to fix it, but he doesn’t give me a weekly allowance anymore like he does all the other girls. He doesn’t think I need the money, I guess, because of the royalties from Baywatch and the soaps. It’s not really fair that one of the girls has a newer car than I do. I have an older BMW, but I’ve been here a long time. I deserve more. It’s not good to have my daughter here, and I just don’t really feel that Hef cares about me.”
I felt bad for her. Her self-esteem was obviously low, so I said, “Oh, I think he does. Did you have to pay for your hair extensions?”
“Oh no, there is an open account at two salons that we can use for anything we want except a makeup artist. We used to have that service anytime we wanted, but they are cutting back. I get all the services for free. I can even eat there.”
I was impressed. “That saves a lot of money. Nice. That would be pretty expensive. Do you get a clothing allowance?”
“Yeah, because we go out so many times I needed a lot of different outfits. I go to cheaper stores so that I have a little extra that doesn’t go to clothing.”
“That’s smart,” I said. “You should just go to him and tell him you need more money. Show him what you get from the residuals of the shows so he knows. . . .Which are the girlfriends?”
She listed them. “Michelle, Jennifer, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, Isabella, Amanda, Nicole, and Sarah who you haven’t met because she just had a nose job and she’s still in bed upstairs recovering.”
“So there are seven.”
She nodded.
“What about Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, Britney, and Kelly?”
“Britney is here shooting to be a Playmate, and Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door and Kelly are only invited up to have sex with Hef. Both those girls are disgusting and nasty. You notice that I had sex with Hef right away. I do that to go before those two. I don’t trust them. Who knows what they might have?”
“Well, that’s smart. So, they won’t be girlfriends?”
Michelle said, “God, no. Hef has us seven, and he told us that he won’t be changing or adding any girlfriends.”
“Oh.” You can imagine what I was feeling with that news. On the other hand, after what I witnessed, I no longer knew what to think. I was confused and still shocked. I was numb, like I still needed to process all this. Remember, too, that I had thought Playboy was about glamour and the ultimate in beautiful women. I never in a million years would have thought there was this disgusting, potentially disease-filled side to this.
Michelle said, “Many girls come up and sleep with Hef and that’s that. They don’t become girlfriends. Just like tonight. You could have had sex with him, and it wouldn’t have mattered. Many girls give it up to him and are broken-hearted. They don’t know what they might have caught, and they’re still not made a girlfriend—only invited up on sex nights, or never again at all.”
“Thanks for telling me. I won’t be participating because they don’t use protection. Too bad . . . it seemed like a terrific, exciting lifestyle and really a lot of fun. I’ve only slept with less than a handful of guys. In this day and age, I can’t take the chance.”
Michelle said, “I’d only slept with five guys by the time I had sex with Hef.”
“Yeah, but I’ve had problems since . . . always having UTIs.”
When I didn’t know what that was she explained she got urinary tract infections. “My urine had blood in it. I was on heavy antibiotics.”
I had never had this and really didn’t know what it was. I wondered if some of the other girls might have something. She said, “I hope not.”
Michelle continued, “You know, if I move out I won’t have enough money to support my girl. It would be very hard.”
I didn’t know what to say. As I already wrote, I had been independent from a young age. I knew how to take care of myself financially! I owned my own home, my own company, cars, and so on. Still, trying to be the type of person who is compassionate, I said, “I think Hef really does love you.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, don’t you see the way he looks at you when he dances with you?” Of course, I was making this up to console her.
She bemoaned, “I hate having sex with him. I dread it. But I’m a single mom. I’m stuck.”
“Hey, don’t dread having sex with him. You’ve already exposed yourself. Go up there with a positive attitude. Look at it as though it’s a sisterhood and that you’re having the time of your life!”
I didn’t know what else to say to her. She didn’t know anything about me and if I said anything negative about my upstairs experience I was sure it would have gotten back to Hef and then I would really be in trouble. More than I felt I already was. I realized that we had talked for a long time. Not once did she ask me anything about myself. She just needed someone to talk to, so I listened and gave her positive responses. She didn’t know where I lived, what my past was, if I had kids—nothing. She wanted something from me—approval maybe, or someone to tell her what she was doing didn’t make her a bad person or a bad mother—and I was willing to act it out.
She said, “My ex-husband knows that I’m dating Hef, but doesn’t know the extent of it. If he ever found a nude picture of me he would sue for full custody. That’s why you’ll never see me nude at any party, in a picture or otherwise.”
I nodded.
“I don’t know if I’m really thinking about getting out,” she said. “There are so many rules and games. I’m just sick of it. Oh, if you want to call anyone don’t call from the mansion phone. They’re all bugged, and my room has a camera in it.”
I couldn’t believe it. “Is there a camera in my room, too?”
“I don’t know, but I know where mine is. If you use the computer in this room, they can read what you write, so don’t write anything you wouldn’t want them to read.”
This was crazy. All I could think about was all of the things I had already said to Bruce about what had happened upstairs and how I had called him all day. Everything that I had done in the room went through my head. I tried not to act flipped out about it, but I was absolutely freaked!
I tried to change the subject. “I noticed that all of the girlfriends have a little dog similar to yours. Did Hef give it to you?”
“No, I happened to have him before I got involved with Hef.”
“See, you were meant to be a girlfriend. You had the same breed. Listen, Michelle, I really need to get some sleep.”
I had begun to feel a personal connection to her. I felt involved. I admit I hadn’t opened to her at all, just listened. I did feel for her, and I couldn’t imagine how scared you would be to make certain that both you and your child were supported. I knew no matter what happened I had a rock solid supportive relationship. I showered and removed my makeup and headed to the bedroom. Of course I called Bruce and told him that my room might be bugged and I would tell him more when I saw him.
Bruce exploded. “What the hell is going on over there?”
“Don’t worry. I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”
I knew I was smart enough to hold my own. But I realized now that my trip to the wonderland of the Playboy Mansion had taken a dark, dark turn.

Chapter Thirteen
Day two at the mansion
The next morning I woke up wondering what the day would bring. Luckily the bathroom was available, and so I washed my face, put on my lotion, and realized I was starving so I ordered breakfast. I pulled out my makeup video and by the time I was done, breakfast was ready. When picking up my breakfast I was shown the designated area adjacent to the kitchen in the main Mansion. I was alone. There didn’t seem to be anyone up except me. No one walked by, and no one came down the stairs.
After I finished eating I walked outside by the pool. There was a Miller Lite party going on. I stopped and wandered through the crowd and noticed there were lots of Playmates giving tours around the mansion. Naturally, being camera happy, I had to get pictures of all the Playmates individually for my memory collection. I was very excited to have this opportunity with them, and it was also a chance to look around the Mansion again. Little did I know what would unfold. I followed the tour and got to see lots of the grounds, the game room, the zoo, the grotto, tennis courts. This was more in line with what I thought the Mansion would be like. And then I saw lots of guys and Playmates wandering the estate. Everyone was very tastefully dressed, which surprised me.
At the head of the pool, I recognized Hefner’s physician Mark “Doc” Saginor, from the “Inside the Playboy Mansion” video. He was heading towards me.
Being Hef’s doctor I figured that he was going to tell me that he needed to test me, or something. He introduced himself.
Out of the blue I said, “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ve been with the same guy for ten years and I don’t have anything.”
He looked at me. “What in the hell are you talking about?”
“Oh. I went out with Hef last night and I thought you had come over to tell me you needed to test me or something.”
He became absolutely enraged. “I don’t know who you are. I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what you do or don’t do with Hef.”
“I’m so sorry. One of the girls said that everyone was tested often. I thought you were coming over here for that.”
He said, “They aren’t tested.”
I looked at him with amazement. I’m sure I had that deer-in-the-headlights look. “Let’s start over, please. I’m Jill Ann. I’m a professional poker player and I did a pictorial for Playboy on Texas Hold ‘em.”
“Texas Hold ‘em? You know,” he said, “I often have a no-limit Texas Holdem game at my house with a $5,000 buy-in. If you’re interested I’d be happy to have you come.”
I wouldn’t enter a home game with this much of a buy-in, but I didn’t tell him that. I acted very interested. With the common ground of mutual interest, we chatted a while on the subject. He had calmed down from our initial encounter and was much nicer to me. I apologized again.
He said, “I do care, and I am interested.” He said something to the effect that if I decided to indulge in sex with Hef he wished me good luck and shook his head as he walked away.
I thought that was nice that he would say this to me. Knowing he was good friends with Hef or at least probably a well -paid employee, his conscience made him have to give his opinion. Of course, since then his own daughter has since written a tell-all of her own dysfunctional days at the Mansion. He was no role model father.
I was already hungry again since I was keeping to my healthy regimen. I ordered another piece of chicken; diet caffeine-free Pepsi and fruit. Already getting to know the kitchen better, I had already stated my request of blueberries and raspberries, instead of the melon mix I had gotten before. I sat there thinking how I wouldn’t spend the money at the grocery store on these berries because they were always three dollars or more for a small amount. I picked up my order and went back to the guesthouse. Sitting on the down comforter I began to eat. I willingly ate a good pound’s worth of these exotic berries thoroughly enjoying every bite.
I called Kelly, and told her of my encounter with the house doctor. I wanted her to know that he told me the girls aren’t tested. I came right out and asked her if she had been tested. She hadn’t, and I wondered who had told her the other girls had been. She said she had just assumed. I didn’t understand. If she hadn’t been tested why would she assume everyone had been? I needed to hang up. I wasn’t sure if my room had ears, and I didn’t want anyone to hear what I was talking about. I told her I had to go. I reflected on the statement Kelly had made to me the night before.
I thought for sure Kelly had said: “You want to have sex with him. It is a major honor. The girls are tested often.” I thought how that fateful comment that night might have made other girls participate in the thought that the girls were tested and how this was such a statement that could have made a girl feel it was safe. As none of them were using condoms, it was apparent the statement from her in such a convincing voice might have had much weight to a girl who really waned to be there. I wondered if she was instructed to say such a thing. When I stopped to think about it, she is the one that also said, “He doesn’t play that way. He’s old and doesn’t need the challenge. He has girls willing to sleep with him anytime.”
I stopped to remember the pressure and thoughts that went through my head last night as if I was at an auction and it was my only chance to bid. Giving me the key words to let me know that there might not be another visit upstairs if I did not participate. Giving me the threat of how many other women were willing to sleep with him that I had no time to mess around. Was this all rehearsed, played out time after time? If I would have joined in, would I then be the Stepford whore that was instructed to take care of the new girls and show them the ropes! Feeling really outnumbered with Michelle, my crazy roommate, and Kelly, the auctioneer, I began to feel a little cornered in.
Michelle and her daughter were out in the living room. So after hanging up the phone with Kelly, I thought it would be best to get a little friendlier with them and see what I could find out. I moved into the living room with my tray of fruit and nonchalantly began some dialogue with them.
“What’re you doing today?” I asked.
“Nothing, but tonight, Hef, the girls and I are going to the Pussy Cat Dolls and then dinner.”
“I wonder if I’m invited.”
“You should ask Hef.”
“How do I do that?”
“Well, he’s up working in the office doing his scrapbook. You could probably talk to him there.”
“Will you show me where his office is?”
She agreed and made a phone call to someone. She needed to go to the salon to have her hair deep-conditioned and wanted company. She called and spoke to one of the official girlfriends and begged her to go with her for company. The girl said she had other plans and couldn’t go. Hearing the other end of the conversation, I thought this would be a good chance to win her over, so once she hung up the phone, I offered to go with her if she wanted. She seemed willing to have me go, and I told her that I wanted to have my hair deep-conditioned as well. She picked up the phone and made an appointment for me as well. Everything was set. I was excited to be going to a salon with an official girlfriend. At this point, I felt a bit like an amateur detective. I wanted to find out more about this weird arrangement he had with these women. It felt like a harem.
I asked again, “Will you show me where Hef is?”
She agreed and I followed her down the pathway to an entryway that I was not aware of, going up some hidden stairs that led upstairs into the mansion. Just like first night we were at the landing and I could remember the rooms to the right were all the girlfriends, bedrooms, Hef’s master bedroom and heading to the left was a large wing of offices for employees. Instead of acting like she had the authority to be there, as soon as we arrived at the top of the stairs she suddenly acted like we were not together and just pointed down the hallway and said he will be down there at the end. She headed to the right with her head down. No one was in the hallway and the sightseer in me began to look around.
Walking down the corridor of the second floor off to the right were several prints blown up to six feet. They were photos of playmates, celebrities, and friends with Hef at all kinds of events. It was pretty huge wall of memorable times from Hef’s past. They seemed to be of no particular order. The pictures dated back many years all the way to the present, with most of the pictures of Hef and celebrities or playmates: Gene Simmons, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jimmy Caan, Jack Nicholson, Pamela Anderson, Roseanne, Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton, Warren Beatty, Whitney, Leo, Cher, Bill Cosby, Dr. Ruth, Eddie Murphy, the list was endless. Walking down was like looking at a history of the sexual revolution. I finally got up enough nerve to head down the hall where the carpet leads towards the offices she had pointed to. I passed by many doors, all of which were closed except the last one at the end.
I walked in and said softly to the woman at the desk, “Hi, I’m Jill Ann Spaulding. I’m staying at the guesthouse, and Michelle told me that the group was going out to dinner tonight. I was wondering if I was invited.”
“Hef hasn’t informed me.”
“Okay. I just wanted to check.”
She said, “You’re invited tomorrow night for buffet dinner, movie, and then going out afterwards.”
“Oh, thank you! Is there something I should be doing today?”
“No. There’s a party going on held by Miller Lite. I doubt they would mind if you joined them.” I thanked her and headed out.
As I headed out of the office I noticed one of the doors that I had passed on the way was now open. I could see Hef sitting in a meeting with two people looking at large pictures that might have been proofs for the magazine. My heart was pounding as I walked past back to where Michelle was standing. I stood in front of Michelle for a moment. She looked at me, puzzled.
“Heck with it,” I said and walked back to Hef’s office.
“Hef, can I go out with you and the girls to dinner tonight?”
He looked at me and smiled. “Yes, darling.”
I practically skipped down the hallway and headed down the stairs to return to the guesthouse. Michelle was already at the bottom.
“How did it go?” she asked.
“He said yes!”
The expression on her face was surprised, threatened and incredulous—all at the same time. All she said was, “Oh.”
Apparently this was not cool. I told her exactly what I had said. I could feel her hackles rise. She wasn’t fooling me. I asked her what time dinner was, and she told me that they were leaving at 6:00 p.m.
We went up to the front of the mansion, and the valet brought up her BMW. As we headed for the mall she said there was a great store with terrific clothes with good prices. She needed to run there for some new outfits. We spent about an hour and a half shopping. At one point, I couldn’t find Michelle for about half an hour. She was nowhere in the store; I looked in the dressing rooms, back room, bathroom, everywhere. She was for sure not in the store. I thought she had left me there. I didn’t even know where I was. I had never been to this mall before and the crazy thought went through me that I didn’t even know the address to get back to the Mansion if I were to have to take a cab. I felt sick. Finally, about ten minutes later I spotted her.
“I thought you ditched me. I was trying to figure out how to get back to the mansion. I don’t have the address with me.”
“I wouldn’t have done that to you,” she assured me. We left the mall and got back into her car.
I called both my mother and grandmother to tell them what I was doing and let them know I was fine. I didn’t call Bruce. I hadn’t told Michelle that I had a boyfriend. I figured she was gathering information on me as it was, and I wasn’t going to give anything more if I didn’t need to.
I hung up from talking with my mom. Michelle said, “Wow. . . . It must be nice to be able to tell your family the truth. My family wouldn’t understand. Just the mention of the Playboy mansion would set them off.”
“Both my mom and grandma have always loved Playboy, and they’re very supportive.” I expressed.
The salon was called Prive at 7373 Beverly Boulevard in Los Angeles. I knew that Michelle got to charge any services she had at the salon to the Playboy account. So I was hoping that she could at least get me a discount and so I asked her. She said she would get into big trouble if she put something she didn’t have done on the Playboy account. I said, “Oh no, I didn’t mean that but maybe at least they can give me a discount.”
The valet took the car. There was an outdoor restaurant in front of the salon, and I ordered an iced tea and a little something to eat. The tea that I chose was something so gross I can’t begin to explain it, something with milk and carbonation and tea. I couldn’t help myself—I had to send it back. After lunch, before I had my hair conditioned I decided that since this was a big occasion I would have my makeup done as well. The salon was obviously a place frequented by actresses. It was modern with a very sexy atmosphere, and all the stylists seemed to really know what they were doing. I told the makeup artist that this was important and that he needed to make sure I had enough time. He assured me over and over again it would be perfect and that we would have plenty of time. He had me remove my makeup before having my hair done. He said that waiting until my hair was done would spoil it. (I didn’t know it at the time, but I was being set up.)
The same person doing Michelle’s hair was doing mine as well so they had me stay longer under the heat because her hair wasn’t finished. It took an extremely long time to blow dry my hair, and I started to get very nervous about running out of time. In all of my time of getting my hair done I could not imagine that anyone could have taken this much time to blow dry my hair. It seemed as if he was just going over the same dry areas and it began to become semi large and not very attractive. He informed me that once I slept on it that it would look good the following day. I wasn’t concerned about it looking good the following day I was needed it to look good that night. That moment.
It was five o’clock when my hair was done. The makeup artist said he couldn’t fit me in.
I said, “Can you at least do my eyes?”
Michelle said, “Oh no, just doing eyes alone takes him sometimes thirty minutes just for that.”
Michelle said, “I have to go back and change. I can’t wait for you. You look fine without makeup anyway.”
I started crying and on the way back to the mansion I decided not to go out for the evening. I didn’t want Mr. Hefner to see me without makeup. I absolutely was not going out on the town with no makeup on. For God’s sake, there was going to be probably paparazzi and pictures and tons of other stuff.
“Hef doesn’t like girls who wear makeup. You look fine,” Michelle said.
First of all, I knew this was just bullshit. Total nonsense. I did know he liked a natural look, but every woman with him had her eyes done perfectly, with her brow bone highlighted and her eyes ever so slightly feline.
Besides, I did not look fine. Black mascara underneath my eyes was just part of the mess. As we traveled back to the mansion, my head started racing with thoughts of what I would have to do to still be able to go. When we pulled up I didn’t even take my purchases from the car. I dashed to my room, threw off my clothes, washed my face and started to change into the outfit I had settled on while in the car. I noticed a yellow note attached to my TV. “6/6 Jill Ann: The departure time for this evening has been changed to 8:30. Norma Maister.” I started screaming. I was so excited and relieved. I came out and told Michelle. She didn’t seem too pleased. So much for her little trick!
She said, “It’s ridiculous that they didn’t inform me. I’m pissed.” Not one word that she was happy for me that I had time to put makeup on and could still go. To be honest, while I hated all this intrigue, there was a part of me that felt competitive about this. I was not going to let anyone make a fool of me. These women would not get the best of me. I was way too smart for that.
I returned to my room and started applying my makeup. At 8:30, everyone had gathered in the entrance to the mansion, pictures were taken, and we headed down the dark path to the limo. There weren’t as many girls as usual, but again each girl was dressed very sexy, in a way that really drew attention! Each woman could have been in a shampoo commercial—everyone’s hair was both sleek and shiny in that “Playboy looks.” Everyone’s makeup was perfect, not overdone. Very professional the way makeup artists apply it, playing down any flaws and playing up assets like full lips and model cheekbones. I wondered why there were not as many girls as our first night out and was told it was not a “required” night. I asked what were the required nights and was told just sex nights are required. It worked out for me because I actually had a place to sit this time.
We pulled up to the Rainbow Bar and Grill. I had never been there, and as we entered, David Spade the comedian was sitting at one of the tables. This was clearly a happening place. Hef stopped to speak with David for a moment, and then we were seated at our table. The bodyguards took pictures, and we ordered drinks, appetizers, and whatever we wanted from the pricey menu. Kelly and I were talking together, and Hef seemed to only be talking to Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door.
I raised my glass. “Hef, thanks for the dinner and having me join you.”
All the unofficial girlfriends clinked glasses with mine. The official girlfriends smirked and stared at me with disapproval. After we had eaten we were escorted across the way to the Roxy. There were a lot of paparazzi with large-lens cameras, and Hef had us all line up next to the stretch limo and pose. The flashbulbs went off. Later I got to see myself and the group on “Celebrities
Uncensored” #2 which was really cool (that airs on the E! network).
There were dozens of celebrities in the Roxy. Many of them came up to talk to Hef. I tried to look around discretely to see who was in the audience. Kelly started to name off many of those she could see without turning her head. I was star struck. It was an invitation-only party, and we had the best seats in the house. Prior to the show starting, Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese came by to say hello to Hef. Fortunately, I was able to snap a picture of Marilyn Manson, Hef and Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door. I was sitting across the table from them. Suddenly, Dita got very excited. I wondered what had happened. Kelly told me that Hef had just told Dita she made the cover of Playboy. I was so excited I had gotten to meet her and hear the news at the same time she did. I had gotten the inside scoop before any of the readers of Playboy had gotten to know who was going to be on the cover!
During the show, all the dancers came by our table, and Christina Applegate even asked me a question as part of the show. I was the only audience member to be included in the show. Carmen Electra and Gwen Stefani were also part of the show. The performance was fabulous. Each of these famous women looked fantastic and played their part to the hilt. I couldn’t believe how talented they were. They danced so gracefully and with passion.
After the show, we were escorted out by security guards and headed back to the mansion. Isabella rolled down the window to wave to the paparazzi as we pulled away in the limo and the flashes began to light up the limo like a Christmas tree. I asked Kelly if they all went upstairs now. She shook her head. That was only Wednesdays and Fridays.
Everyone went their separate ways, and I returned to my room. I washed my face and climbed into bed but didn’t sleep well. It had finally sunk in that my dream had probably come to an end. I had the choice of joining the group and having the time of my life. Going to the Grammy Awards, the Oscars, traveling, meeting celebrities, drinking Dom Perignon, great food, a great place to call home, money, cars, and gifts were all within my grasp. So why was I so melancholy?
I started thinking about sex. I would have to have sex with Hef. I really loved Bruce and now I had to choose. What would happen to me—to Bruce—if I got a severe sexually transmitted disease? That would ultimately make the rest of my living not much fun. The year or so that I would probably stay at the mansion to grace the pages of Playboy could in turn have many consequences that would be unbearable and ultimately make my life very different and lonely! Alone and unable to live a normal life. Could I risk the chance of being lucky and not catching anything? Maybe I wouldn’t get HIV or AIDS. Maybe I would only get herpes. I figured that with the amount of herpes commercials on the air every day, this was a likely disaster. Maybe they would ultimately find a cure for the herpes or the sexually transmitted diseases that I did catch? My mind was once again racing with all these thoughts. What if I could solve it with antibiotics or shots? Gosh, I had only slept with a few guys. I couldn’t imagine with the small exposure I had that I wouldn’t be walking in to a death zone. Especially with the thought of Hef being ultimately bisexual based on the guy on guy porn that was blaring on both TV screens in his bedroom. This meant the exposure would even be much greater.
I went over it all again and again all night. I thought about all the things I would never get to do—not to mention my ultimate goal of gracing the pages of Playboy. Would I risk my life—and my soul—my man—for this lifestyle? I had come so far with the surgeries, the workouts, the planning, and the rejections to have the door so quickly closed.
Hef had given me the opportunity to make a choice—or did he? I realized I didn’t have a choice, really. Either I had sex with him or I wouldn’t succeed with Playboy. I was at the lowest point in my life. On the one hand, I wanted this so badly, but to even consider it made me disgusted with myself. I had even called Kelly and spoke to her about female condoms. She told me it wasn’t allowed and if Hef discovered it he would be very offended. I tossed and turned.
What was I thinking? Was I really considering this? I thought about the Prozac I took daily. Did this mean I wasn’t happy with my man, my life, or my accomplishments? After all, this was going to be only two minutes of sex twice a week. I’m basically an intelligent human being. I graduated in the top of my class with an extra tassel. Were the parties, fame, and perks I couldn’t buy worth the price? I had a guy who loved me, I had my own business, and I owned my home. If I slept with Hef, and he didn’t make me a girlfriend, like Michelle had mentioned, what then? I started making excuses for each event to try to come to a decision. There must have been hundreds of other girls without my advantages. I wondered how many had tried and failed. I wondered what had happened to them.
It was very late. I ordered some food from the kitchen and went to pick it up. One of the butlers came out with my order.
“You’re older than the other girls. What are you? Twenty-five? Twenty-six?”
“Twenty-six . . . I thought you weren’t supposed to talk to us.” I snapped back at him for just even mentioning that I looked older then the other gals.
“Oh, I talk to most of you,” he said. “It’s just if Hef or one of the bodyguards comes in, I’ll just say something about the food. Just so you know.”
I finished my meal quickly and headed back to my room. I didn’t want to reveal too much to this guy. Back in my room, I realized I was just too much my own person to sell my soul. It was, in some ways, that simple. In the end, you have to wake up each day and look at yourself in the mirror.

Chapter Fourteen
Day three at the Mansion

I woke up the next morning, it was Friday, and I was feeling terrible because of my poor night’s sleep. I was upset with myself for even considering selling myself out. My ultimate decision was a resounding NO. With that huge weight off my shoulders, I felt empowered and strong again. Instead of getting angry that sex with Hef was my only option, the Prozac kicked in, and I decided I was going to get into the magazine without compromise. I was determined to prove it. I had to plan the next following days very carefully.
I had written Hef that I wanted to be with him. Now I was going to turn down the owner of Playboy and the man who decides who makes it into the magazine or not. I thought long and hard about how I was going to do this without losing face, risking my life, my relationship with Bruce, and ultimately my soul. I needed to make the best of the situation I was presented with. I was there staying at the mansion and partying with the man himself. I had to find another way to get his affection.
After all, there are millions of girls around the world that would be thrilled to have the chance just to go to the mansion much less party with the very busy powerful man that had his choice of hundreds of girls to choose from. He had admittedly felt I was good enough to join him which was a compliment on its own.
I had to be a good sport and get through the rest of my visit unharmed. I had to hide from the girls my true feelings and not let them think I looked down at them. I also needed to network and find his weak spot. I wanted to stay in the loop and be invited to all the parties. I was having a great time and felt lucky to be part of the group without having to have sex with a seventy-six-year-old man to get into a magazine or have my bills paid. But who knew how long that would last?
I kept reminding myself that the girls were using him as much as he was using them. They wanted to be in his magazine, live that life, and get the perks. And we all know what he wanted—at least now I did.
I had to calm down and refrain from saving these girls, at lest for now. I couldn’t go ballistic while I was there and try and save everyone from a death sentence. I convinced myself that I would just enjoy the experience of a different type of lifestyle and deal with it. They knew what they were getting into. I convinced myself that this was capitalism in a sense. A trade agreement was going on. Ride the old man for two minutes twice a week for money, perks, and a bit of celebrity.
The girls are responsible for their own choices in life and they chose to stay. It would be hard to change their minds or try to talk them out of it while they were there. Besides they weren’t very nice to me. Why would I think they would ever listen to me?
Tonight was sex night, and as luck would have it I just got my period. A plan had suddenly arrived. This was the opportunity I needed to lead Hef on so that I didn’t have to actually have sex with him but didn’t turn him down either. My first visit upstairs was just nerves, this next time it was that time of the month, and the third time I’d be back home in Arizona.
From the bathroom I yelled, “Oh damn it! Shit!” I wanted Michelle to hear me. I came out of the bathroom talking loudly to myself. “I started my period! Now what am I going to wear? I was going to wear my white outfit. That’s out of the question!” I hoped that my little drama had been heard and that Hef would be well-informed. She was sitting in the living room and didn’t look pleased to hear me talk.
So I ventured out and stopped in to the game room in the mansion, played a few pinball machines, the kind they have at actual arcades, and took more pictures. I wandered through the enclosed zoo-like area (Hef refers to it as Greenhouse Aviary) where the birds were kept at night. There were such beautiful ponds of koi, exotic colorful fish dotted all around. Lily pads floated, and small waterfalls making such peaceful sounds. I watched the Koi swim lazily, sunlight gleaming off their shiny scales. I had brought my video camera and filmed some of the grounds, my room and other spots except the inside of the mansion. As I returned to the guest house, Michelle saw my camera and was hysterical.
“Are you crazy? If Hef hears about you taking pictures he will be very upset.”
“Gee, I didn’t know it wasn’t allowed.”
“No one saw you up by the offices, did they?”
“I don’t think so,” I said. I wondered if this was a major problem. I knew I couldn’t trust Michelle. I figured she was probably pushing the panic key and sounding the alarms as we spoke to scream at the top of her lungs to everyone, guess what Jill Ann was doing. She was a naughty girl.
Later that evening when the dinner buffet started, and all of us poured into the dining room, I was a little nervous not knowing if Michelle said anything to anyone. There was nothing I could do about it now. All I did know was that I was hungry.
The buffet was a luxurious one, with prime rib and shrimp, and so many exotic salads and vegetables dishes. It was just like a wedding buffet, everyone was lined up with their individual plates to scoop out their favorite dish to eat.
All of the girlfriends had staked out their positions at Hef’s table. I sat with the cover girl for “Who wants to be a Playmate?” She was there because she had just finished shooting her Playmate video, photo, and came down with a terrible infection; too ill to travel. She said she was going out with us that night and was flying home the next day because she was finally feeling better.
The guests were very old and seemed to be personal friends of Hef’s. Other than the girlfriends there were not many young people there. After dinner Hef announced that it was “Movie Time,” and we all headed into the screening room. I had arrived later than the girls as I didn’t want to push my way in front. When I finally got in the room there weren’t many seats left and all the girlfriends had staked out their positions near Hef. I sat to the side—out of the “zone.” They served bowls of popcorn. I asked if it was air-popped, but nobody responded. The room was filled with these big brown leather couches that were about double size of a normal couch with strange burgundy pillows. There were plenty of blankets for everyone to cover up and get cozy.
It was just like I had read. Hef would read a little bit about the movie, and the crowd would laugh and seem entertained even though it was hard for me to understand what he was saying. I pretended to be very attentive. Laughing along with the crowd. Smiling and gleaming at him as if I was awed by his knowledge of the movie. The movie started. Lots of the guests were making a lot of noise and that spoiled the film for me. As soon as it was over, all of the girls left to freshen up in their rooms and then met back at the front lobby at ten o’clock for the continued night’s events.
As usual the official pictures were taken before leaving. This time I was wearing lower heels, and I felt more comfortable. It started out just the same. The only thing different was this Friday the only girls that went were the eleven same girls who were naked upstairs Wednesday—no testing Playmates or other non-upstairs girls. When we got into the limo, Kelly informed me that a lot of times on the way back from the club things start to get a little wild in the limo.
“Like what?” I wanted to know.
“They start having sex with him. Tonight they’ll probably start doing things on the way back.”
Hef took pictures in the limo of all of us. He opened a bottle of Dom Perignon, and we headed out to the first club. We were escorted by the bodyguards, and Hef helped each of us out of the car one at a time. Grabbing my hand to help me out of the limo to make sure I was out okay. Everything was waiting for us—Evian and chilled glasses. The waitress took our order immediately. It was identical to Wednesday night —we danced with Hef, talked, and were escorted to and from the bathroom and surrounded by bodyguards. The girls didn’t look around at the crowd. Hef was the center of attention. Once again it was amazing to walk into a place and have everything you wanted in an instant. This was the life Hef was used to being catered to, I guess since he founded Playboy.
I noticed that Kelly was talking a lot with the security guards. She finally returned to the table.
“What’s up?”
“Hef’s ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend is here and is staring down Hef. You’ve heard of Tina Jordan—it’s her ex. I noticed him out in the crowd, and I told the bodyguards.”
“Oh, my God, this is so exciting!” In reality I was thinking gosh if he gets shot or something I will be one of the witnesses and it will be on the news and everything. I guess it wasn’t a nice thing to think but I suddenly got goose bumps just thinking about it and thought it was completely exciting. The jealous boyfriend out for revenge for whatever his girlfriend had told him.
“It’s not good. This isn’t the first time he’s followed Hef.”
I realized that what a smart man to have such a large group of girls around him. If someone was to shoot him we would be the first one to take the bullet. We doubled as security guards or bullet stoppers. We were told we had to leave right away. There was a lot of commotion among the bodyguards who had been talking with Kelly. We headed out of the club, and Kelly was on the phone to someone to let him know we were on our way and to be prepared for our arrival. She moonlighted at a club now and then and knew the owner so she called up that particular club to tell them to quickly get us a table and prepare for our arrival. She put her head through the front window of the limo to talk to the two guys in the front seat. My heart was pounding with all the excitement and to think that I would be there if anything was to happen was incredible.
We entered the other club, and they also had an entire section set up for us and seemed happy to have us there. The owner was thankful to Kelly. I asked Kelly if Hef got everything for free and she said no that he insists on paying and always has, that is why the clubs are so happy when he arrives. I was surprised to hear that just assuming that they would comp him just to have him show up to give them more exposure. The club owner had no idea that we were all there because of a dangerous situation. We didn’t stay long. I happened to be the last one on the way out. I saw Hef sitting in the couch area so I figured that I was supposed to wait. He seemed to have trouble getting up so I reached out to help him. He gave me a quick, hard look. I turned and headed toward the exit. I felt him put his hand on my back.
“Go.” He gave me a big shove. His voice was brusque. Where was the smooth gentleman I had met and spent the last few days with? This was a bit of a shock for me!
I must have turned a dozen shades of red. He didn’t speak to me the entire night—in the clubs, the limo, or the mansion. I got into the limo and sat by Kelly. She immediately knew something was wrong.
“Are you okay?”
I said, “Hef’s really mad at me.”
I told her what had happened. “Oh, my God, never, ever try to help him up.”
She described a time that she tried to help him, and he yelled at her to never help him again. He didn’t want anyone to ever think he was old or fragile. She told me not to worry about it. The ride back to the mansion was uneventful, and no one was saying much of anything. When we arrived I started to head back to my room. I admit I was disappointed. It was a very wild ride—quite a rush. Hard to believe it happened twice a week.
“Goodnight, Kelly.”
“Where are you going?”
I said, “Well, I wasn’t invited up, and it’s that time of the month, anyhow.”
She told me, “Once you have gone up and are out with us it’s automatic that you come up. Don’t be silly.”
All the girls went through the front door of the mansion and up the winding staircase. Half the girls went to their rooms, and Kelly and I headed into the closet to retrieve our special pink pajamas.
For some reason I was not afraid at all and wiped off my bracelets and clothes as if it was old hat. I left my leather fur necklace on to look naked but accessorized. Dipping my naked leg into the bathtub to check it for temperature, I even went as far as adding more bubbles to the water knowing where they had been poured from I decided to put in another cap full. Kelly got in right after me and it was like two sisters playing in the tub at this point. Heck, we had already kissed and been naked two nights before this was old hat already.

Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door entered the room. She was wearing a cute matching set and heels. The shirt was all lacy with a plunging neckline, and the white pants had the same material as her dress just on the front of her jeans. Her hair was up on top of her head with a white scrunchee. She reached behind her back and pulled the string on her top and the front fell down revealing her breasts. She reached back again to untie the bottom strap that was holding it to her waist and the shirt fell into her hands. She unbuttoned her pants and set them and the shirt on the counter and kicked off her heals. She got in the bathtub with us! All three of us at the same time. I noticed the bubbles had gotten a little out of hand. Maybe that extra cap full was too much.
Hef entered the room just like the night before with his throwaway camera in hand. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door was naked and standing over at the sink ringing out the hand towels for the party. Hef asked Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door to get in to the picture. You could tell she did not want to but she did move behind all of us as if to block her body from view and bent down to be in the picture with us. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door covered up her breasts with bubbles for the picture. Both girls, not as well-inflated as Kelly and me, hid their breasts from the cameras view.
As soon as the picture was taken Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door went back to wringing out the towels and retrieving the vibrators from their stored spot. She was heading into the bedroom to get all situated for the evening’s events.
I got out, dried off, and slipped on my pajamas with top and bottoms. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door had her top and bottoms on as well. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door had already left to head into the master bedroom. Kelly waited for me but not long as the first night. Since I already knew what went on and had decided I was just going to observe I didn’t have a scared bone in my body.
The realm of what was going to happen before me had no effect. All eleven of us girls: Nicole, Britney, Michelle, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, Jennifer, Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, Isabella, Kelly, Amanda, Melissa, and I were surrounding in some way or sitting on Hugh Hefner’s bed.
It was a replica of Wednesday evening. Loud techno music blared from the speakers, gay porn with men inserting men on the large screen TV’s. The girls all had their vibrators in hand and were topless. I took off my top and threw it on the floor behind us and kept my pants on. This time Kelly, Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, and Melissa (a.k.a. China Doll) kept their bottoms on as well. Isabella was wearing a bra and underwear and a couple of the other girls had their bottoms on, too.
Before anything began Isabella said in a loud voice, “This is supposed to be a fucking orgy, not a topless party!” She apparently wasn’t happy that many of us were not participating. I didn’t like how aggressive she was. Hef lit up a rolled cigarette and passed it around. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door started to blow him and then had intercourse with him. She wiped him off for the next girl. Michelle went next and Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door wiped him off when they were finished and applied baby oil. The girl-on-girl action was going on in the background with a repeat of the cheer “Fuck her, Daddy, fuck her.”
Britney, the girl shooting for her Playmate of the Month pictorial, went next. Her brunette hair glistened and she had tons of makeup on from her daily shoot. She faithfully gave Hef his two-minute ride but seemed pretty worn out. She had been on a photo shoot for several days straight, and partying with us every night had obviously taken a toll on her. Plus she had told me earlier she was barely eating because she wanted to be trim for her Playmate shoot. She was a really nice girl, and I was informed that she was thirty-six years of age. I thought that was pretty cool that she was going to hold the record for the oldest Playmate for Playboy. Some of the girls told me she was going to be a major Playmate and that all the girls were so jealous of her because she had already put in her time, being a Hugh Hefner nonofficial girlfriend for over a year, on and off, flying in and having sex with him after all the big parties and other weekends that he invited her up.
Suddenly Amanda, one of the official girlfriends, leaned into me and said. “Hey, new girl you’re next.”
“Oh, no, it’s that time of the month.”
She said, “You’re new. He wants to fuck you, and he doesn’t care.”
One of the other official girlfriends was on top of Hef next. All of sudden I got really scared. I moved all the way over to the end of the bed near Kelly.
“I’m terrified!” I told her under my breath. She had heard what Amanda had said.
“Follow my lead. Don’t make eye contact. Pretend you are totally into me.” Like out of a porn magazine I began to completely focus on Kelly and began to take her breast into my mouth. I circled my tongue around her entire nipple and then slowly licked my way to her other breast. My body’s adrenaline had kicked in. The kind of adrenaline when you are forced to run from something because you are being chased or when someone is traumatically hurt and you know it is your job to save them. With my breath completely out of control I began to breathe heavy, gasping for air. I headed down south towards Kelly’s private area. I was only down there a second when I became to feel sick. I was just breathing on her leg, but the lack of oxygen, coupled with my feelings of panic, almost made me pass out. I had to come back up quickly for air. This was too much. I couldn’t even pretend more then I already had. I was not a lesbian and the thought of having to actually do any more then I had already done was just too much. I came back up right away and Kelly told me to just breathe. She begged me again not to look over and I took her word as gold. I told her to turn over and I started to softly spank her. After a few minutes of that she began spanking me. I grabbed the vibrator and started rubbing it on her back and down her legs. She then followed, doing the same to me. Both of us not looking over and not looking at what the other girls were doing either. She began to caress my breasts again and with both hands grabbed one of my breasts and placed it in her mouth. I leaned my head back and tried to do a Meg Ryan as if I was really enjoying it. She then grabbed a hold of both of my breasts and pushed them together and started rubbing her tongue across both of them and letting her hair cross over my throat and neck. She raised my foot to her lips and kissed my toes. Another first for me. When her tongue slid across my polished toenails another shudder went through me. I pulled at my nipples as she caressed my toes with her tongue. Finally she released my leg and took a step back. We had tried to keep ourselves as busy as we could.
Kelly looked scared and did try to shelter me. I realized that of the eleven girls that were up there, six of us had our pants on. Hef came over anyway despite the rumored rule about leaving pants on was to mean you were not participating. He moved in between the two of us. He moved his hand uncomfortably between the pull string on my pink pajama bottoms and reached his hands down my pants and inside my underpants. Was I going to be raped? Held down? I didn’t get the impression that he was going to take “No” for an answer. Would the other girls hold me down while he raped me? I could imagine what I would be telling the police later that night. I was naked at the Playboy Mansion and blah, blah, blah. There was no way they would believe me, and I was so out numbered. Even if I was so upset and took the entire group on, would I be able to kick and fight and bite my way out of this? There was no way in the world I was going to go out without a fight. It was bad enough I was still in the room. If I would have known there wasn’t going to be enough participants then I would have headed back to my room. This taking-note/curiosity stuff had gotten way out of hand. I suppose he was going to sexually stimulate me and try to get me to have sex with him by fingering my insides. I guessed otherwise he wanted to verify that I really did have my period. I didn’t make eye contact, kept my head down and twisted to one side. I didn’t say a word. His hands moved down to my private area and his fingers moved across passing by the string of my tampon. It seemed like forever before he pulled his hand away. I would not give him eye contact because I knew he would try to kiss me or do something else that was not wanted. Giving him the full sign I was not interested with my head motion and non-eye contact finally did the trick, and he moved back to the middle of the bed.
One of the girls that was wearing her bottoms began to give him a blow job to make amends for not enough girls having sex with him that night. She deep throated him, making extra noise. He had anal sex with Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, her arching her back and acting really into it, and that signaled the party was over and everyone disappeared into thin air. I put my clothes on in a hurry and got the heck out of there. I headed back to the guesthouse and came out of my room as Michelle finished showering.
“Not many participants tonight,” I observed.
“Yeah, and Hef is not happy.”
I retreated to my room and called Bruce. I told him how scared I was, and he began to get very upset. He was worried about my welfare and whether I was going to be safe or not. And of course, it couldn’t have been easy hearing what was going on. I told him I would be fine. We talked for a long time. After we hung up, I ordered some food and went to pick it up. I was wound up after the night’s experience and was not tired at all. There were two girls in the main dining room playing Uno. I sat down to eat and chatted with them a bit. One of them was Hef’s wife’s best friend and lived with her across the street. I thought that it was pretty interesting that she could come over anytime she wanted. She was very nice and a former Playmate from many years ago. I joined them in their game and played for quite awhile. Finally I said my goodbyes and went to bed.
I pondered the girlfriends being similar to “the Stepford Wives” movie. I wondered if back in the 70s Hef had watched the original movie in 1974 starring Katherine Ross, and thought Gosh I should do that! How little did he know that instead of having their bodies stored in a basement he could plug them into fame and fortune and that would be enough to have them act like a true Stepford Wife!

Chapter Fifteen
Day Four at the Mansion

It was Saturday morning and I was safe. I ate in the dining room alone. Two very large, mangy-looking dogs apparently had the run of the house and sat on my feet while I finished my meal. After I returned to my room, I decided to call Kelly. We gossiped about what had happened the night before. I actually told her a little bit about what Michelle and some of the other girls had hinted concerning her. I didn’t quote Michelle because no one needed to hear such hurtful things. I told her that they were being mean to me for talking to her. She had noticed it as well. I didn’t want to cause any problems for her or myself.
“They just don’t like you because you’re so nice. They don’t realize that you’re genuinely a good person and want to be part of their group. They must feel threatened by you.”
I wasn’t planning on returning, and I knew she really wanted to be in the group so I told her the things she could maybe change that wouldn’t irritate them so much. We talked a while longer and then hung up. I ordered some iced tea sat in the living room.
Michelle’s daughter flew out of their bedroom. I asked her what was wrong. She moved her eyes up and motioned her head towards the bedroom. I frowned. I didn’t understand. She took me over to the other end of the living room and said very quietly that the camera light just came on. I wanted to know where it was. She said it was between the plants right above the closet in the middle. I wanted to know how she knew, and she told me she could see the red dot of light. I wanted to see this. She looked a little frightened but led me into the room and motioned with her eyes where I should look. She started showing me pictures of her mom to act like we were doing other things than looking for the camera. I sat on the bed for a moment and commented on how cozy a room it was. We left, and I told her that I didn’t see it. She said he wasn’t watching at the moment. She wanted to know if I had found the one in my room. I hadn’t but asked her if she knew where it was. We couldn’t locate it using the same ruse we had in her room.
I couldn’t understand why there was a camera in their room. What about the thought of the twelve-year-old having to undress? Hopefully she was smart enough to stop undressing in the room and went to the bathroom to do so. Maybe Hef got off on seeing Michelle just watching TV or maybe he was insanely jealous and was making sure she didn’t have any unwelcome visitors. Whatever it was I thought it was creepy.
I called Bruce and told him about the cameras. He wanted me out of there immediately. I told him I planned to leave a night early. I wasn’t going to stay Sunday night and that as soon as the dinner and movie was over I would head back to the hotel where he was staying. I wanted to stay for the parties because there were going to be a lot of celebrities I would never have a chance to meet any other way.
It was Fight Night. They had a buffet dinner similar to the night before except there were movie stars at this event. Verne Troyer (“Mini Me” from the Austin Powers movies) was there, and I had a picture taken with him. Bill Maher, Thora Birch, Scott Baio, Judd Nelson, and some of the older movie stars were there, too. Lots of Playmates had driven up for the day; Lisa Dergan, Michael Bay (director of Pearl Harbor and others), Miss June—with whom I had hung out at the birthday party— and many more. I had pictures taken with everyone I recognized, and we all ended up in the screening room where there was a big fight to watch.
Afterward everyone wandered around a bit. All the girls gathered for a picture as we had for the last three nights and then headed out to a large limo. We went to another club and the night was very similar except for the fact that two other girls had joined us. After a few hours we headed back to the mansion, I was told the following day was “fun in the sun day” and the festivities started at 2:00 p.m. I was exhausted and fell into bed, relieved this wasn’t a night where sex was expected.
That night I looked up from my bed and just waited for a red light to come on. I figured with it being pitch black in the night I would see it. I never did see the light, which I was glad about, but maybe he was too smart to turn it on in the night because the red light would automatically be seen, or maybe he was sleeping like I should have been and didn’t watch at night.

Chapter Sixteen
Day Five at the Mansion

The next day, Sunday, I headed out to the pool at the appointed hour. This pool was enormous, with a curving design and that lush California greenery around. Hef was already seated, playing backgammon with one of his friends. He was dressed in his trademark pajamas, and his main girlfriend was lounging in the chair positioned very close to him. All the official girlfriends seemed to have a certain order and positioned themselves in an array around Hef. I walked by him and nodded my head in greeting. I sat by Michelle and her daughter up on the grass. She had brought her dog. Many new girls I didn’t recognize were in chairs by the pool. Kelly showed up and situated herself next to me. Her friend, Susan, who was a Sunday-guest, joined us. Michelle looked very annoyed that we had joined her.
I said quietly to Kelly, “We should move.”
“No. You picked the perfect spot next to Michelle. You want to stay in good contact with one of his girlfriends so that it appears you fit in.”
I thought, fitting in with what? I didn’t have sex with him. I just sat there because all of the recliners were spoken for, and I loved playing with Michelle’s dog because I missed mine. More people drifted in to play backgammon with Hef. He was completely immersed in the game, and there was no talking the entire Fun-In-The-Sun-Day, other than a few quick kisses from girls who were late or were new to the Sunday events. Hef didn’t talk to any of the girls. Two butlers were taking orders from the special Sunday menu. They were also photographers, and they took pictures of any girls doing something memorable. Kelly told me that if we wanted to get into the front of the magazine “Hanging with Hef” we had to flash and Fun-In-The-Sun-Day was the best time to do it. Okay, I thought. We took off our bathing suit tops and started rubbing oil on each other. We were perfectly positioned in Hef’s line of sight, able to distract him. It worked. He stood up and called for one of the men to start taking pictures. The main girlfriends were glaring at us. This was the only moment that Hef moved away from his game. We were proud of ourselves. Two other girls joined us, Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door and Susan, and we all posed topless for the cameraman. Afterward I looked over and one of Hef’s sons was watching us. Then I felt horribly embarrassed. To top it off the other girl’s son was swimming in the pool keenly interested in the action.
“I’m surprised they let the kids out by the pool area on Sundays,” I said to Michelle. Realizing that Hef’s two sons, Marston, born 1990, and Cooper born 1991, were looking at us.
She shrugged. “They’re used to it. They don’t care.”
I looked around. Many of the girls were topless in the lounge chairs. I was shocked to see them uncovered. One girlfriend had stretch marks marring her breasts and was lying there naked. I was surprised that she would dare to lay out undressed. Otherwise the Sunday was very tame and unexciting. A few of the girls went down to the gym to work out and use the tanning beds. Kelly and I went out to the aviary and took pictures of ourselves with the monkeys, birds, and flamingos.
Brande Roderick was there, and she was swimming in the pool. I got Kelly to take a picture of the two of us standing near the pool. She was very thin and beautiful and seemed to be at home at the mansion.
When the afternoon drew to a close I went back to my room to start all over again getting dressed and putting on makeup. Buffet dinner and a movie were going to begin shortly. On Sundays was always to be first-run movies. I called Bruce. My rock was not so rock-like at this point. He insisted I come home. Over the last few days he had said so many wonderful, supportive, and loving things to me. He had told me how much he loved me, how special I was, how proud he was, and how great my morals were. He missed me. He was lonely. I felt much loved and told him I would leave after the buffet and not stay for the movie. This seemed to relieve him. We hung up, and I started to redo my makeup for the night’s events.
The buffet was served outdoors. Mostly the same older people who attended the Friday night Fight Night were there. No celebrities; mostly just old friends and Hef’s current, and aspiring to be, girlfriends. I helped myself to more food than I normally would have since my figure wasn’t going to matter so much the next day. The desserts were wonderful—chocolate mousse, éclairs, pies and cakes as beautiful as any you see at a high-class bakery.
I waited at the buffet area to tell Hef I was going to be leaving early.
I followed him to the pool bar and approached him slowly. “Hef, I’m leaving and just wanted to thank you for having me here.”
“Okay, dear. Wait right here a moment.” He headed back to the mansion.
I waited a little while and when he returned he handed me a stack of photographs.
I was so surprised. “Thank you so much!”
He looked at the bartender and asked him to take a picture of the two of us. I smiled and said, “Thanks, Hef.” I headed back to my room. I had already packed. I told the valet that I was leaving and turned my key into the security room, and he helped me get out to my car. I drove out the back exit of the Playboy Mansion and watched it disappear from my rearview mirror. I headed to the casino and Bruce.
When I arrived, he was waiting for me out front. It made me feel good to see him, especially outside watching for me. The valet took my car and helped unload my luggage. Bruce didn’t seem glad to see me. I was puzzled and disappointed not to have been greeted with more enthusiasm. He did not even give me a hug, a hello, nothing, there was just silence. We went up to the room, and he wanted to be intimate right away. I was pretty turned off with the way he had met me, though I had been looking forward to sex when I had seen him standing out in front of the hotel. I told him how I felt. We talked for a long time, and it all worked out. I realized it was realistic for him to feel out of sorts over my stay at the mansion, and he realized that in my heart, I was still the same Jill Ann I always was.
We went back to Arizona, and I had to tell my mother and grandma the story about what goes on in the Playboy Mansion. All I ended up saying was, “They have sex with him, Mom—and all at the same time” I couldn’t say much else, because my grandfather was in the room, and I had to whisper what I did say as it was.
“So? What did you expect? What happened?” My mom was surprised that I thought it would be any different. “Only twelve girls get chosen. They have to stand out to get picked.” She seemed surprised that I thought it would be different and seemed to wonder why I did not stay. She knew how much I had wanted to be in Playboy—and she wanted it at my age.
“Mom, they don’t use any protection!”
“Oh, my God. Really? In this day and age with so many diseases? Well, I can understand why you didn’t stay.”
That was the extent of our conversation. My grandma told my grandpa that those girls probably have to have sex with Hefner to get into the magazine. She let Grandpa think she was guessing even though she knew the truth from me.
“Oh, Hugh Hefner has so many women there at the mansion they probably have sex all the time. He probably has orgies—just him and a whole bunch of girls.”
My grandpa replied, “No, he does not have orgies. That’s not how they get into the magazine. How ridiculous! What an imagination!”
Actually, I couldn’t have even imagined or thought up just how strange and treacherous it could be at the mansion

Chapter Seventeen

I survived the mansion and very plainly had been exposed to the casting couch of L.A. I was angry, didn’t know if I was going to do anything about it, expose it or just scream. On Prozac, the whole situation seemed to nudge me toward a positive frame of mind. I was challenged and determined to get into Playboy without having to sleep with anyone. A normal woman would perhaps have given up. I was going to make the magazine want me. I still held a grip on my dream.
Kelly was the only connection to the Playboy mansion that I had, so I called her a lot after I got back to discuss what had happened and what had gone on. Within the next week, Kelly was informed she was no longer going to be invited out on Wednesdays and Fridays, but that she could still come up to the parties and Sundays. She felt she had been kicked out for several reasons: not having sex with Hef the last time, bossing Isabella around, not getting me to sleep with Hef and lots of little other things. Since she was no longer part of the group, she had no reservations about speaking her mind. She was devastated, to say the least, but she tried to convince herself that it was a good thing. It was terribly dangerous to have unprotected sex. She revealed to me that she had done girl-on-girl films to put herself through college. She was worried that she might have any number of diseases after these escapades with Hef. She decided she was going to have herself checked out. I thought it a little late in the game but a good idea nonetheless. We talked about many other things. One point I distinctly remember was that the time she shepherded me upstairs that first time she had no idea I had not only never been upstairs before but I had never been at the mansion before. I went to a dream visit to the mansion and wound up in a full-blown orgy. Her words were Welcome to Fucking L.A.!

* * * *

After I left the mansion, I kept in touch with Kelly. I was amazed at the amount of intrigue that went on. I had seen some of it, of course, but I was still to learn much, much more. One night on the phone, Kelly asked, “Have you heard from anybody from the mansion?”
“No, nothing at all. Not from anybody,” I replied.
Kelly then told me that because of some back-stabbing and gossiping, Hef had actually “canned” two girls—including her. In Kelly’s case, she was the victim—just as I had been on the hairstyling trip with Michelle. I was sure it was the lack of sexual participation. If anything would show he better get some working girls that were willing to participate it was firing a few. It was a job, and they weren’t performing so can then and that is what he did.
After Kelly found out that she was no longer going to be invited to the mansion she had this to say: “No, but it is a good thing, I don’t want to be. I get to go to the parties, and I get to go on Sundays, and I can walk around and socialize and find a husband . . . but then I don’t have to do the orgy thing you know and that is really good. But yeah the phones were definitely tapped everything was filmed, yes definitely.”
She went on, “I could make Playmate if I wanted to. I could be a girlfriend if I wanted to—and they saw the competition coming.”
The treachery was so extensive. Kelly said that Hef would whisper to her to do things for him on the side. Then Mary would call her on a Tuesday to go out that Wednesday. Even though Hef would tell her on Sunday “See you on Wednesday,” Mary would always call her on Tuesday for a head count for the limo.
I asked Kelly how she ended up getting into Playboy, and she said she was in Las Palmas and Hef found her—and she had been there ever since. July was the anniversary when she and Hef met. She is still allowed to go up every Sunday and parties.

* * * *

Both Sarah and Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, a few days after my departure, were made official girlfriends. Hef took Sarah and Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door at separate times into his bedroom, and he has a safe in this room where he keeps the diamond Playboy Platinum necklaces, and he presented them to each girl individually meaning that they are now official girlfriends. Kelly said this is why the girls were freaking the night I was out with all of them and was wearing that long diamond necklace that night because it was exactly like it. Even though Michelle said I would never be a girlfriend and that Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door was just brought up there for sex only, days later she became an official girlfriend. I guess that wasn’t the only thing she was wrong about or maybe Hef was making a statement saying you don’t want new girlfriends then the seven of you better be participating or more are going to be added!
After Hef gave both the girls official girlfriend necklaces the tension was extremely high in the limo this night according to Kelly. This night Britney, who later became Miss January, was already campaigning for Playmate of the year® even though she just had shot her centerfold not for this year but for the next year, so the tension was insane. The girls were so mean to her because she shot her centerfold, and all the girls want to be Playmates, and she is going to be a big major playmate.
I asked Kelly if the exact thing happens every Wednesday and Friday, and she said yes, that was a ritual. Kelly said she had to write Isabella an apology because she was really mad because Kelly was bossing her around at the orgy. She said that she was just trying to help me relax and joked, “It’s just like you can’t please everybody.”
Kelly said that the girls thought that she took me upstairs on her own, and they were all mad at her for that.
Kelly said, “They think that I took you upstairs on my own, and they don’t know that Hef asked me to do it. He doesn’t want to upset his girlfriends because they just think I took you up there on my own.”
She added that one of the girls who drives up on Sundays, “A girlfriend was telling everyone that Hef called me at home and told me I was canned. She said, ‘Hef would never do that. He is too sweet. He would have a lady do it, but he wouldn’t have himself do it,’” Kelly defended him.
I asked Kelly if the girls were upset with me and if I shouldn’t have gone upstairs. She said that she didn’t think they were mad at me, but she didn’t think they liked the competition. “I think that you were a huge threat to them, you know, and they don’t like Hef’s attention to go anywhere else. They all have no real security.”
“Well, it is hard enough to share him with seven people as it is.”
“Yeah, but you had a better body then any of them. You could be a centerfold. . . . It was like damn they were going to hate you right off the bat.” She said that Isabella, Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door and the other girls openly say they want to be Playmates. She said the twins are what started the whole thing—they were major girlfriends.
Kelly went on. “Everyone has had their turn upstairs. You have to have sex with Hef or the girls don’t like you. They get mad or angry at the girls that don’t have sex because they have to do it more. They told me that I would have been a girlfriend if I would have kept having sex with Hef. I guess this is true, but they just want someone else to do the work so what can you do? I give up, it was like eighth grade. It wasn’t even that . . . it was second grade.”
I couldn’t believe they were so threatened by me. What about the Playmates on the videos of parties who look like they’re having so much fun together?
Kelly said, “They’re not threatened by Nicole, Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, or Sarah. Anyone who is a threat to them this is when the problems come in.”
She said if you write Hef a personal letter he is the only one that gets it. She said if you send him a gift bag he is the only one that gets it. She said her girlfriend Susan wants to be a girlfriend so bad and that is her goal in life. She comes up on Sundays. She told Susan to get a boob job and dye her hair. She said that the girls are so threatened by her because she is bisexual . . . and the others aren’t bisexual and they must pretend. I told her that I did not understand why none of the girls acted like they had a good time up there.
“Why? Because if you don’t have sex with him you’re cut! I think about girls other than you at other times that didn’t have sex with him, and they weren’t invited back up there. You have to have sex with Hef—that is the rule.”
I felt badly for Kelly. She said she really didn’t have fun going out Wednesdays and Fridays. “I don’t enjoy it because you are roped off. You can’t talk to any of the guys. Like at the big parties if you are one of the girlfriends you cannot leave that table. You can’t go up to Mathew Perry, you can’t go up to Luke Wilson, and if you are not a girlfriend you can do whatever you want.
There are so many girls that come and go, and who knows who will last there? Michelle is a really good fuck . . . she is a great fuck . . . She is a really good fuck . . . she really can work it . . . she has an amazing body and she is a really good fuck and that’s what’s important.” She said this out of the blue.
“Not to be negative, Kelly, but you gave Hef a blow job. What could you catch from that?”
“I am sure you can get gonorrhea of the throat, but I think if one of the girls had it that they would all know, and we would all have it by now.”
We started talking about getting on the permanent party list and she said everyone sends flowers, candy and he doesn’t remember these things. She gives him disposable cameras because he is always taking pictures. She said a girl named Stephanie goes up on Sundays and has been for four years, and they call her every week to invite her up. She says Mary or Joyce are the only ones that really make the calls to the girls.
We continued talking about the girls, and Kelly said that the girlfriends don’t talk to Britney, and they don’t talk to Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door.
“I wonder now that she got her necklace, though,” I mused aloud.
“Nope! Everybody doesn’t like anybody . . . that’s just how it is.”
“It is so sad that they just don’t all get along and have a great time together.”
“No, they all say he is an old geezer and that he is going to die. They all think they are going to get a million dollars, and they’re not. They all want to go to the beauty shop, they want the money, they want the clothes, and they want the cars and they’re all fighting for it. They all want a new Porsche; they all want a new Cadillac like Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door’s. I am not cliquey at all. I don’t like gossip, I don’t put up with it, and I don’t put up with people disrespecting Hef, and I’ll snap at them if they disrespect Hef in anyway. So of course they are not going to like me. Of course, you know I lost my thing . . . whatever . . . . my gig.”
Kelly really seemed to have a lot of insight into Hef. She said that Hef actually reads all of the jokes that are sent in to the magazine, that she sees him reading them. That he loves the jokes and gets off on them, and he thinks its fun. She said that he does not as much now since he had a stroke . . . that he is supposed to go slow. She said her dad couldn’t have sex with ten girls and he was ten years younger then Hef!
She said when Tina Jordan was the boss that things were a lot different. “But then Tina made Playmate, and as soon as she did she was like ‘Bye-bye’ . . . ‘See ya’”
I asked her who lived there versus who had to travel in for parties, and she said the following. “Sarah drives up, Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door drives up, Michelle stays in the guest house Wednesday through Sunday, and Jennifer drives up and stays in the main house Wednesday through Sunday. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, Isabella, Amanda, and Nicole live there every day.”

* * *
More conversation with Kelly . . .
“I’ll tell you who moved in! China Doll—and she got a dog.” Kelly said,
“But Hef always acted like he had only seven girlfriends.”
“Oh, no . . . there were nine and twelve and eleven.” Apparently, it fluctuates.
I told Kelly what Michelle had said that I could sleep with Hef and I still would never be a girlfriend.
“What a bitchy thing to say!”
“Michelle said I would just go home broken-hearted and I might end up with some disease, and no matter what, he has his seven girlfriends and that’s it. I started the conversation that I did not want to be a girlfriend and that is what she responded to my comment. I told her I did not want to be a girlfriend so I wanted to let her know because I did not want the girls not to like me and that I just wanted to have a really good time there the few days that I was going to be there. I didn’t want them to feel threatened or anything.”
“Yeah,” Kelly responded.
Kelly was talking to one girl who used to be a girlfriend, and she said every time she slept with him she would get a yeast infection and that herpes was going around and that she didn’t live there anymore. She lived there for seven months. She was a Playmate and stuff. She said ever since she moved out she hasn’t had a problem, but when she lived there every week her health was so bad she would be doubled over in pain and they would have to leave parties because of her yeast infections and her UTIs. She said between that and the herpes she was always sick.”
We discussed what Michelle had said about Hef only having seven official girlfriends and that they were already chosen and Kelly—never one to hide her opinion, joked, “She was talking out of her ass. Yes, he has different girlfriends. Britney lives in San Antonio Texas, and just flew in and she is a girlfriend so he has more than seven girlfriends. That was just a big fat lie because she was just threatened by you.”
Kelly did say that you don’t become a girlfriend and then leave and come back. This is what the Playmate that lived there for seven months told her. That you just get one shot and if you blow it you blow it. In Kelly’s case, she said one girl was responsible for getting her kicked out. She said that that could have been how she got kicked out just from bossing Isabella around. She said Isabella was the one that got the other girl kicked out.
I couldn’t imagine the pressure. “How you could live under that kind of circumstance where you just said something wrong you would be kicked out?”
Kelly said the only reason Isabella had not moved out was because she hadn’t made Playmate. The Playmate that got thrown out of the mansion by Isabella said that Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door is bulimic and that is how she stays so skinny. The cat fighting was incredible!
I told her I figured Hef would change his mind and call her back up to go out on Wednesdays and Fridays. She said that if he didn’t it was fine with her because it really is nice not having a yeast infection. “
“I am really glad I’m out. You know . . . do you remember when I filled up the bathtub with bubbles? Then I took over someone else’s job of filling up the bath tub with bubbles and that was Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door’s first time up there, too. Apparently, doing this other person’s job was threatening to her.” I knew she was speaking about Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door.
Kelly also believed there was a quota of sorts of gals that they had to put in the magazine for color reasons. “Miss June was only chosen for quota and so is China Doll. I can’t tell you about another one . . . that’s under a gag order. But they would say, ‘We needed a dark-haired dark-eyed girl who is kind of Latina.’”
The other girls also tried to stop her from telling Hef that she wanted to be a Playmate. She told Mary (one of Hef’s employees who have been an employee for years) and she said, “Fuck them. Go right on in and tell him.” So she did test for Playmate, and she just did it a short time ago.
I said it sounds like if he wants you to be a Playmate—and he’s the one who can make you one. She agreed and said did you know that his main girlfriend Tina Jordan tested for Playmate three times before she made it. Jennifer tried out for Playmate, and they ended up putting her as a cyber girl. Isabella tried out, and they put her as cyber girl. He offered Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door cyber girl as well, and she turned it down. We then started talking about large events, and she said only the official girlfriends got to go to main events like the AFI awards. One of the secretaries called Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door at the last moment since she became an official girlfriend and told her we know this is short notice but Hef wants you to go to the AFI awards. So Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door ran all over town trying to find an evening gown.
I told Kelly that I had just got back from Vegas and was showing one of the casino guest relations hosts my pictures out with Hef and the young casino host got all excited and pointed to Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door’s picture and said, “That’s Paris.”
I told him “No, that’s Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door.”
He said, “No. That’s Paris. She works at Spearmint Rhino in California.” Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door is probably her real name; Paris is probably her stage name.
Kelly said “I can neither confirm nor deny anything about her, but I have known who she is the entire time, but I am such a good secret keeper.”
“I can’t believe it is such a small world. I was up in the Diamond VIP room at Rio Hotel in Vegas and the employee there knew her.”
Kelly started laughing and said, “But I have the shit on her. If they ever knew, but man, she is so sweet I would never bust her I would never betray her, and I would never tell.” We started talking about the necklace that I wore that was so much like the one that Hef gives them and she said “they freaked.”
I told her that I felt bad wearing the necklace and making them have added pressure. It’s not in me to play mind games with people.
“Don’t feel bad, Jill Ann. They are miserable people. They’re sad and miserable. You know it’s got to be rough to live there. You have a 9:30 curfew, you can’t date other guys. It is very hard to sneak out.”
I interrupted and said, “You know Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door has a regular boyfriend.”
“Like I said I can neither confirm nor deny.”
“She told me about her boyfriend, and I told her that I thought that was cool that Hef didn’t mind you having other boyfriends.”
“I don’t think she tells him. Hell, I wouldn’t tell people I was having sex with Hugh Hefner.”
“You know, I was surprised that they didn’t have me like sign something, you know when I went upstairs . . . like a confidentiality agreement. I guess he doesn’t care.”
She said, “I have seen strangers go up there like Britney they brought her home from the bar one night. They picked her up at a bar one night, and she went home and had sex with him. You know so it’s like he has no fear of AIDS.”
“Do you think it’s because he is older?”
“Yeah, I think he would rather die younger than at 102. He doesn’t want to make it to a decrepit age, so he is not afraid to die lonely, and they would cover it up so well. You know, the most recent AFI award was for Tom Hanks. And I heard Tom was going to play Hugh Hefner in a movie. That is why Hef wanted to go to hang out with Tom Hanks now. Can you imagine the nicest guy in Hollywood playing Hugh Hefner? That just cracks me up. Hef is just waiting for a script, and he has selected Tom Hanks to play him but there is no script yet though.”
We talked some more, and Kelly insisted that Hef wants harmony amongst the girls. He doesn’t like conflict. “It used to be really nice last year. There was a whole different set of girls except for Isabella, who is the only one from the prior group. The girls used to be really, really, really nice, and then they all left once they made Playmate.”
“I wonder if once he shares them with the world in the magazine and then he doesn’t want them anymore? What do you think?”
“No, no, no. They leave on their own. Once they make Playmate, they leave. He is learning that once they make Playmate they bolt because Dalene lived there, Tina Jordan lived there, and as soon as they made Playmate they left. I think he is learning to get less attractive women who would never make Playmate to live there so that no one leaves him. The last set of girls were not so back stabbing, cat fighting whatever. The girls that are there just think they are the shit and it’s just not fun. Tina Jordan was best friends with Michelle for years, and she is the one that got Michelle in. At least it is good for Michelle’s daughter because they eat well, you know. It’s a pretty good life. They act like it is prison, but you get to tan, eat, work out, I don’t know what they are bitching about. They were all like ‘oh we have to do that thing on Friday.’ They all dread it.”
“Crazy . . . You know, I was wondering . . . How did you know you were cut?”
“They don’t call or tell you or anything. It’s just that they always just call you to invite you and when I didn’t get the phone call I knew I was cut.”

Chapter Eighteen
Kissing Ass

The next party was coming up. July 4th. Kelly was very excited to go. I told her I hadn’t been invited.
“What? Why not?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s because I didn’t have sex with Hef. I’m afraid I won’t ever be invited back.”
She said, “Write him a letter and mention that you weren’t invited. There’s not a lot of time so you need to get on it right away.”
I decided to call Jenny who spearheads the lists for all events and told her I hadn’t been called for the Fourth of July party.
She checked and said, “Yep. You’re not on it.”
“I don’t know.” She was very blunt.
“Is it because of my visit to the mansion?”
“I couldn’t tell you, but the list has already been finalized.”
“Can I be added?” I asked.
“Hef is the only one who could add your name.”
“Can you ask Hef if I can go?” I wondered.
She said, “I wouldn’t if I were you. Try for the Midsummer Night party. That’s the next one.”
“When should I ask about this?”
She said, “Right away. The lists are made far in advance, but I wouldn’t buy an outfit if I were you.”
“So does this mean you already know he will say no?”
She hesitated and then replied, “No . . . I just say that to everyone”
I thanked her and hung up. I was upset and thoroughly dejected. Besides not being in the magazine, now I was no longer going to be invited to the parties. I had to figure out something. I didn’t know how to plead my case to go to the parties and still get in the magazine. I was going to have to write a masterpiece letter. I included one of the pictures of me, Hef’s main girlfriend, and two other girls in the tub. I put it in a beautiful silver framed box with a picture of me and three of the other girls from in the bathtub naked. I made sure it was the one with his main girlfriend naked so that he might display it or she wouldn’t toss it out. The box held a large stack of photos from during my stay that I had promised Hef and I put them all inside. I sent it June 22nd 2002.

Dear Hef,
I just wanted to thank you for having me to your home and to be part of your life for those days. It was an honor. I just have to say you are the man! You are the true Playboy! Wow! What a party. You are living every man’s dream. That was the most erotic nights of my life. The whole experience was a dream come true. Every night was wonderful and a blast. I had never been with a girl before or even had one touch me until that night. I have only been with a handful of guys sexually. I just got my ears and belly pierced about four months ago and the strongest substance that has been in my body is alcohol. I have never smoked anything. I am confident with my body because I work hard keeping it in great shape (treadmill, weights, etc.—all for Playboy). The only time anyone other than a boyfriend has seen me undressed was for you and my submissions to Playboy. Here are the pictures I promised. I fell in love with Playboy when I was a young girl. Later on, in 1995, I began collecting autographed covers of Playboy magazine. The first one was Drew Barrymore. The collection is very large now as you can see from the pictures. I just wanted you to know what a big fan I am. Any parties, events, or clubbing where you need another blonde I’ll be on the next plane. I travel to L.A. many times a year. I’ll pay my own way and get to the mansion on my own. Please, Hef let me come to the Midsummer Night party. I had such an awesome time at your birthday party. I already have an outfit designed in the hopes I will get to come. Please, please, please!
P.S. Please consider doing a small pictorial and poker article on me in your magazine. gaming division is talking about going online with Hold ‘em poker. That is my best game and what I am most famous for. It would help pub Playboy gaming on the map for the poker world, and it would let me be part of Playboy history. I am really good at live poker and poker tournaments. I take poker very seriously – 90 percent of poker players are men and they all would buy this magazine with me in it. They all know me! I would also get Poker Digest or Card Player to run an article about it coming out so everyone would know what issue. I signed tons of Poker Digest covers when it came out and it was the best time. I just loved it. Poker is a nationwide sport that is so popular now that it is getting widespread publicity. Let me just be a part of Playboy magazine. I need more Playboy to make my life complete!

At the same time I sent this I sent gifts to the official girlfriends all in the same box so that he would be able to read the letter and see what I was giving the girls.

To Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, Isabella, Amanda, Jennifer, Nicole, Sarah, and Michelle,
Thanks for making my stay at the mansion so terrific. I had the best time going clubbing with all of you. Go Lakers!
I got seven differently styled shirts for you all so that you wouldn’t have the same ones. I also made this pink cotton candy exfoliating body polish for all of you. Hope you like it. All of you are so beautiful and nice!

I received a very short letter from Hef on July 1st: It contained that I would be on the Midsummer Night’s Dream list.
I noticed the change in tone right away in that he didn’t sign off with “love” and was a little taken back at the formal “sincerely.” I guess my status had been downgraded. I hadn’t mentioned the July party based on my conversation with Jenny, but I was excited that I was back on the list. All had not been lost. I would really have been flipped out if I hadn’t been invited because of my lack of sexual participation. Kelly went to the July party, and she said she had a terrific time.
My invitation to the August 3rd party arrived July 11th. Countless e-mails back and forth with Playboy casino seemed positive, but as of the end of July nothing had come of it.
I also have to take a time-out here and explain myself. When you see all these events spelled out in the book, it seems very condensed, as if this was all I focused on. This isn’t true. I had my life with Bruce, my store, my entrepreneurial interests. I play poker, I had my beloved Holden. My life went on. But as someone who loved movies, especially, which I wrote about earlier, the idea that I could go to parties and hobnob with movie actors and actresses was just something that was so fun. Imagine if you, right now, were invited to party with the stars of Friends or your favorite TV show. It was a blast.
Also, there was a stubborn part of me that hated thinking that cat fighting, backstabbing, and so on had gotten me cut out. It was just ugly, and I couldn’t understand why people were like that.
Anyway, I was excited to go back to the mansion for a party—most especially one where I wouldn’t be expected to do anything other than attend and have a good time!

Chapter Nineteen
Midsummer Nights dream party

The day arrived for the big party. I flew in that day and out the next. Kelly picked me up at the airport, and we drove directly to the party. I knew that cameras were not allowed. Only Hef’s girlfriends and the hired photographers had them. Of course, that didn’t stop most people, and I sneaked mine in this time—I’d of course seen people at the first party with them and knew if I didn’t get caught, it would be okay.
When I arrived at this party I actually was really scared. I really was! Heck, I could see what Hef could do with 11 women how about 500 women all at one party. There really were nothing but scantily clad girls walking around, but not too many other strange things such as people having sex.
One partygoer told me that when it gets late it starts getting crazy. I pictured a massive orgy or something—everyone having sex with everyone— but I thought to myself if this starts to happen I am going to leave the party early because I would not be participating. However, nothing wild happened, no one even making out—and I stayed ‘til almost the last bus back to the UCLA. More excitement was happening at a local bar than at this party.
I talked to some of the girls at the party about how calm it was, and they said that there were so many producers, movie stars, etc. that you could not act out of character because you might lose your chance to be in a movie at a later point. I did not know what to believe. It was like a regular party with all the girls together in little groups, all the guys together in groups or two guys standing looking bored, and all the couples together. Many of the stars never got up from their tables the entire night.
The Playboy mansion was transformed into a Roman and Greek Mythology Theme Pajama party. Tons of little white lights all in the trees and just about everywhere you could look. A computerized dance floor with videos of previous parties playing on them was visible. I began to stare at the TV screens to see if I could maybe see myself on there from the party before.
Many of the painted Jell-O girls were wandering the premises. Many of them were dancing on platforms and I was watching them closely to see if I could see where the paint ended. It was amazing to me they actually looked like they had more clothes on then a bathing suit or lingerie. I couldn’t believe how well all of their private areas were hidden including their nipples and private lower areas. Each girl was painted completely different then the other with great detail and skill. They looked like walking art.
Many of the young butlers were walking around with beautiful hors d’oeuvres. I couldn’t help but press many of them through my lips and past my lipstick. I was starving but didn’t want to mess up my lipstick. The grotto had lit candles, baby oil, towels and robes. It was beautiful. There were plenty of baskets of condoms throughout the mansion. Too bad Hef doesn’t seem to practice what he preaches. Maybe he cares more about his guests then his girlfriends.
I got pictures with Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Tesse, both of whom were very nice. Leo DiCaprio wouldn’t let me get a picture of him. He said, “Maybe later.” Kelly noticed Britney Spears sitting at a table talking with a girl while her very large and imposing bodyguard stood in front to control anyone coming up to her. I asked him if I could speak to Britney.
He told me, “Give her a minute.”
I was the only one waiting and the only one that seemed to want to meet her. All the other partygoers either didn’t see her or were too shy to come up. It seemed that I waited an eternity as I watched her talk to her friend. As soon as she was through with her conversation, I stepped forward quickly and started to speak to her. She pulled down her hat to cover her face and got up to leave.
“You’re even prettier in person,” I said. She didn’t acknowledge me at all.
I asked Jamie Foxx for permission to take a picture and told him that his jokes about the Playboy Mansion were wonderful. He didn’t respond at all and walked away after the photo was shot. I was striking out.
I suddenly noticed Simon Cowell out in the smoking area and asked him. Another girl and I who had almost the same outfit as mine wanted a picture of the three of us. He seemed really nice compared to the show until my friend handed her camera to someone to take the picture. The first picture with my camera was fine. She couldn’t figure out to run her digital camera for the second one. He flipped out. “Oh, come on!” He rolled his eyes and walked off.
People were dressed in a wide array of party wear and costumes that tried to fit with the theme. I wore angel wings. Other girls had lots of glitter in their hair and on their cheeks. Some wore outfits that seemed to invoke the fairytale land of Shakespeare’s play.
More about Leo DiCaprio and Tobey Maquire. Okay, everyone always wants to know about these two guys. They have reputations as players in Hollywood. I was the only one this night to get a picture with Leo except for pro photographers hired by Playboy. So even though it is not a good shot, it is the only shot that anyone got. The two of them look identical in person as they do on the screen. As you can see, neither of them was wearing pajamas for a pajama-only party. This is one of the benefits about being a celebrity . . . you can show up with however you want to dress no matter what the dress code is. I actually got to visit with Leo and see him many times during the night. He made himself very available and was very friendly. Tobey seemed to be more of a follower and just followed whatever Leo was saying, doing, being for the night. I asked Leo three times at different times of the night if I could get a picture with him and each time he said, “Later.”

Coincidentally as we were leaving the party I noticed Leo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire waiting for their limo to approach. This was my last chance to get a picture with them. Kelly refused to take the picture. I went over and said, “Leo, please, please . . . it is later.” He replied with an “alright.” Leo gave Tobey a code, which I guess was turn your head when the picture is taken so that they really won’t be in the picture. I handed my camera to one of Leo’s friends, and Leo started literally squeezing me so hard that it was painful. The flash went off and their limo pulled up in sight. Leo, as he entered the limo, looked back and said “come with us.” I was so flattered and wished I was that kind of gal for the moment, but kindly thanked the group and waved them on. I figured that the friend probably took a shot up in the air with my camera to satisfy my request for a picture or that they had done something to mess up the shot. I was excited to get the picture back and as you can see Tobey didn’t get the code because you can see him plainly but that intense bear hug was to make him not identifiable I guess. Swear on my life it was him, and hey at least I can say I got a personal bear hug from one handsome guy. Tobey was extremely nice, and I felt for as much power as these men have in Hollywood that they were still really nice. Hats off to them! I was not upset about the photo. I wished that it would have been in full view but because of tabloids and all those other crazy things, I know and understand why movie stars have to do what they do. The next day it would be in the paper with some line like look here is the new blonde he is dating or some other crap
As we were taking the shuttle back to UCLA’s parking lot I noticed Kelly was very much out of it. She had way too much to drink. The problem was I did as well. Not nearly as much as she did but enough not to be driving. Because there were no security officers or staff at the UCLA parking lot I begged Kelly just to drive to the nearest stop, and we would sit there and sober up. I even offered to pay for a cab. She was not willing to leave her BMW there overnight so she compromised and said she would drive to a place were we could get sober. We got into her car, and I strapped in. Instead of what Kelly had promised about pulling over she headed to the freeway and got on. I started yelling at her to pull over. She said she didn’t have that much to drink and she wasn’t going to sit in a parking lot. The next twenty minutes were a ride like no other. Not only was it worse then any rollercoaster in my life but we almost hit five cars. I was at a full scream the entire ride as she would weave over to other cars and nearly hit them. She pleaded with me to quit screaming, but I was screaming in warning of her about to get hit. I was holding on to the roof, my feet on the dash, it was the worst terror I was ever in. That night because of her low regard for my life it was the last night we would be friends. Not only did she endanger my life, hers but everyone else’s who was on the road that night.

Chapter Twenty

New Playboy Friend and Cyber girl party

Kelly dropped me off at the airport the next morning and that would be the last time I would ever step in her vehicle again.
At the airport, I met a girl who had gone to the party.
“Were you at Midsummer Night’s Dream last night?” she asked. I nodded.
I think she based that assumption on my breasts, platinum blonde hair, and the wings I was carrying that were part of my outfit. We sat together on the plane, and we hit it off right away with our Playboy connection. I mentioned that I had gotten to party with Hef and stay at the mansion.
“I’m going to write Hef a letter and tell him that I want to become a girlfriend.”
I gave her a strange look and said, “They’re intimate with him. I found out the hard way so if you’re not prepared to sleep with him, don’t write the letter.
She shrugged. “I’m willing. Tell me about your visit.”
“Unfortunately, I signed a confidentiality agreement so I really can’t talk about it.” I hadn’t signed any such thing, but I didn’t want to tell someone about my experience if it was going to jeopardize my being invited to future parties or getting into the magazine. I also still, on some level, was processing it all. What would I tell people—other people?
She said, “I made Cyber Girl. My pictorial’s coming out soon.”
“That’s great!” I said. “How about I throw you a party? We can round up a bunch of girls, get a limo and go to a club to celebrate.”
We became better friends, and I did throw the promised party on September 7th, 2002. She made these incredible invitations that had the bunny in all different colors with fancy paper saying “Private Party” Scottsdale, Arizona We had a huge twenty-two passenger Lincoln Navigator and since she had only a few girlfriends I brought many of mine to ensure the best turnout.
It was a crazy night. We got a VIP table at one club in Scottsdale that threw in a huge free appetizer plate and a whole bunch of shots. After leaving there we got into the Lincoln Navigator Limo and headed to another club where we were whisked into the VIP room. Chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne were waiting for us at the next stop. We ended up going to the third club that we were supposed to go to, and it was even crazier than the two before. People were making out and were naked upstairs in the VIP room. Two girls were going at it and another couple as well. Girls were topless up there, and it was pretty wild.
The night was still not over for many of us. Running into a gal I had met many months before in Vegas at the Bellagio Light, she talked us into taking the rest of the crew to a strip club in Phoenix. A few of the original girls didn’t go but most of them did. The problem was they didn’t tell us it was about a forty-five minute drive to the club that the girl worked at. So by the time we were there we were all a little bit exhausted. We pulled right up front, and our new group of girlfriends got us the VIP treatment here as well. They were whisking us off to our own private area. It was surprising how many people were still out even though it was very late into the night. Next thing you know a group of strippers came over to me and said they wanted to give me a lap dance. I said no that is okay. The one girl was much more aggressive and said, “Please, it is no charge. I just want to do it for you.” I finally agreed, especially with the entourage of girls there cheering, “Go, Jill Ann! Go, go Jill Ann, go.” Next thing you know she had pulled my top up and was in-between my breasts! The girls of the party were snapping pictures, and I was handing them my camera to take pictures as well. I stuck ten dollars into her shirt when she was done, and she shoved it back down my shirt as to say no way this was on me. The terrible thing is somehow that night I lost my camera. Even though it was a throwaway one, it was so sad to have lost all those great shots of a crazy night. I got my other girlfriends to send me copies of what they had taken but it just wasn’t the same.
I did eventually reveal the story of my visit to my new friend, and she decided not the write the letter to Hef about becoming a girlfriend. The unprotected sex information really floored her, and I believe that was the deciding factor changing her mind. She told me many stories of what she had encountered.
Apparently, it was the same in Chicago’s Playboy department with the person that ultimately made her Cyber Girl. She told me that some of the employees told her that they would see a star on the photos indicating that they were Hugh Hefner’s girls and to pick them. The employees would get so mad having to choose some of the ugliest girls to please their boss. So it wasn’t always talent and beauty that graced the magazines, but sex.
Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, who had finally made an official girlfriend, asked to be playmate and Hef had them pull up pictures of her from many years before and use those because he didn’t want her gone to Chicago. I remembered Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door bringing a Special Edition Playboy to Sunday Fun in the Sun when I was staying there and showing me a picture of herself in the magazine. She said it was years ago but was so excited to have been in there. I looked at it fondly and complimented her. She looked way different now, and it was neat to see the changes.
These shared experiences really brought my new friends and I together, and we had something to complain about to each other. She read all of my correspondence with Hef so she wouldn’t make the same mistake I had. I wanted her to know that it was not a game and if she was not willing to go through with it, she had better be careful because he wasn’t kidding or flirting. He was serious.

Chapter Twenty One
Letters to dig myself out of the hole I was in.

I decided to write a thank-you to Hef for the party as well as dig myself out of the hole I felt I was in. I had submitted my pictures to Jeff Cohen for Special Editions and received a rejection letter. I really felt that I had what it took for Special Edition’s Especially Voluptuous Vixens. There must have been a flag on my name with Playboy and that was why I hadn’t been chosen.
I was taught in school that even when you apply for a job if you re-contact the person that interviewed you that it is often the best way to get a job because you are showing that you are sincerely interested in the job. I sent out about eight additional letters all with this as the contact info and of course a box of gifts just so they would remember me.
It also bothered me that perhaps I had burned my bridges, so to speak, or left the Mansion on bad terms. Like a lot of women, I want to be liked. I’m the type of person who would never intentionally hurt someone’s feelings, and I would never ordinarily leave friendships and other things unfinished.
When I didn’t get in one of the Special Editions, I had a nagging feeling that I really had made a bit of a mess of things. I felt I should have been more direct with Hef when I left, about why I was leaving.
Disliking this unsettled feeling, I decided to write him a letter.

Dear Hef,
I just wanted to say thank you for having me to the party. It was the best. Anyhow, in reference to my last trip, I had every intention of staying at the mansion. I had all my loose ends tied up and didn’t plan to come home for many months! You could probably tell by how many clothes I brought and the new extra blonde color you like. I must confess I didn’t realize that you slept with all of the girls; especially all at once. I thought maybe one of two were your main girlfriends and the rest were for show or occasional.
Please don’t hold it against me that I was naïve. I am so sorry. I wasn’t trying to be a tease. I have never had sex with anyone without getting to know him well and dated awhile. I know “if you don’t swing, don’t ring”—but I thought it part of the promotional idea. I guess I thought I would move into the mansion and get to play dress up and hang out—be one of your girlfriends.
To tell you the truth, I think about it every day. I was turned on and wanted to join in. I was horny as ever presented with a bed full of beautiful women and the icon of the world. The emotional risk of not feeling good about myself was too high. You always say in your interviews “once a friend always a friend.” How can I be this friend? I want so much to be a part of your life, your company, even if it is only parties, Sundays—whatever you can give. I can offer in return to tell everyone that I meet how wonderful you are and how much I love Playboy and promise to do my sit-ups and work out to keep the Playboy body as the vision that is in my mind. Please take this bed as a thank you and have fun with it. It’s brand new and never used, especially for you and your girlfriends.
With love,
Jill Ann
P.S. Please let me come to the Halloween Party!

The bed mentioned was a $200 bondage bed that I purchased at a sex store to spice up Bruce and my sex life. It had been sitting in the closet for a few years, and I never even took it out of the box. I decided that Hef was the perfect person to give it to, get it out of my house and even gain a few brownie points.
On September 16, 2002 I received a letter back from Hef. It basically said that he understood that “perhaps” there had been some “misunderstanding” between us, but he didn’t feel either of us suffered any for the weekend and there were no hard feelings.
I noticed the closing right away even before I read the letter. I was relieved. It was warmer than the last time. He didn’t mention the gift. I wondered if he didn’t like it or if someone intercepted it before giving him the letter. It was a positive letter in my view and maybe indicated I would be taken off the “Do Not Use Jill Ann Spaulding” list for Playboy.
It also helped me to feel like I had a little closure on the whole bizarre experience of my stay there.

Chapter Twenty Two
Halloween Party at the Mansion

I next party I went to at the Playboy mansion was the Halloween party. This was actually one of the only parties that I actually drank more than I should have. I did feel slightly fat in my UPS outfit wearing next to nothing, and from dieting I had eaten hardly anything so the first drink I had hit me right away.
The haunted house was really the best I had ever been through. At the Halloween party Karen and I hung out together most of the night. She laughed through the entire haunted house and was tickling many of the ghosts that tried to scare us. I was screaming, she was laughing.
We ran into Kelsey Grammar, and he was wearing a priest costume. He was very nice and let Karen and I pose next to him.
We saw the late-night show host Craig Kilborn sitting all by himself by the pool.
Karen and I asked “Is there any way we can get a picture with you?”
He said “I’m sorry, I don’t do the picture thing, but I’ll autograph something for you.” We were very excited and I ran to get two napkins for him to sign.
He began to sign both of them for us and then he said, “What the heck, I will let you take a picture.”
I handed Karen my camera and went behind the table to pose with him. While I was smiling for the picture, he reached his hand up my UPS outfit and touched my genitals. I was posing; smiling, trying not to blink and he did this to me.
It was Karen’s turn and as we switched the camera I told her, “Don’t stand too close.” I motioned with my eyes really wide to warn her. I snapped the picture as quick as I could and reached back at the table to get the autographed napkins.
He said, “Why are you running off?”
“I’m Hef’s girlfriend. He doesn’t like me to be gone long.”
We both hurried off. This is when Karen wondered what was that all about (the Hef girlfriend thing). I said, “He goosed me while you were taking the picture.” She said he’d done the same to her.
I told her I had just said the Hef’s girlfriend thing hoping that he would be embarrassed and that he would be worried I would tell Hef what he had done.
My last star to meet, which was my first autographed Playboy that had started this whole thing, was Drew Barrymore.
My girlfriends knew that I had missed her each and every party so they were not going to have me miss her again.
Karen said, “There’s Drew.”
She pointed her out. I started following and trying to get her attention. I started to speak and Drew turned completely around and started talking to her large group of friends she had brought with her to the party. I tapped her on the shoulders again and then they all decided to walk off. I had had a few Malibu’s and Diet Coke so wasn’t as shy as I normally was. One of the guys in the group happened to fall behind as they headed out and I let him have an earful.
I said “Do you know how much it would mean to me to have Drew talk to me? Do you have any idea that taking the minute to talk to me would mean so much. That she purposely turned away like that was so harsh.” I walked away.
I was at the bar with a huge group of people trying to make it back to where we were sitting with my drinks and Karen’s as well. Holding them high up in the air to try and squirm through the crowd I was bumped and almost lost my balance. I remember a little bit of my drink rolling down my hand but didn’t think much of it. Karen was just on the outskirts waiting for me and she said “Oh my god, you just spilled your drink on Drew Barrymore!” I was like oh my god I hope she didn’t see who it was. I had not done it purposely and didn’t even see her standing amongst the huge crowd of party goers.
Later that evening, I saw Drew again outside with just a few of her friends about to light up a cigarette using Hugh Hefner’s personal match book. I figured I had nothing to lose. Karen was with me and I said, “Please Drew is there any way I can get a picture with you?”
She said “Sure,” and posed for the picture. I went on and on telling her how great she was and how much I loved her and told her I was sorry for acting so excited.
She said, “You’re fine.”
Karen was next, and both of us got a picture. When we got the pictures back, on different cameras, both were ruined. Huge lines went through the picture. We could not figure out how both cameras had done this. She was so upset with me that I had put my thumb in the picture and then when I got mine back it was even worse. I could barely make out the two of us. I always wondered if it was what I said that let her take a picture with her or if she was just a little nicer after the party got later. Who knows but I got to talk to her, and I still love her and think she is awesome!

Chapter Twenty Three
Playboy Golf Host Arizona

Becoming friends with Karen was a great thing because she was a heck of a promoter. Not only was she involved in a lot of charities she also was still digging her feet in to get into the pages of Playboy.
She had connections with people from Playboy because of her Chicago Cyber Club Photo Shoot, and they were holding the Arizona Playboy Golf Event at a far away club called Jillianns.
Two official Playmates showed up and of course Jill Ann and Karen were there. We were wearing our official Playboy Golf Shirts that we were given because we were considered hosts for the event. The Playmates received money to attend, which we did not we were just volunteers. It was a great time taking pictures and giving out gifts. Playmates Stacy Fusion and Michele Rodgers were the paid Playmates, and luckily I knew both of them from the mansion parties and during my stay at the Playboy Mansion so they were excited to see me and welcomed us instead of feeling we were a threat. Especially since we were doing much of the work for them and they just had to sign and take photos it worked out great. That night went over good, and Karen worked hard to get people signed up to play golf to raise money for the charity.
A local radio station advertised heavily that the trials for the Playboy Golf Tournament were going to be held at a local bar, and Karen and I showed up for the event. The famous triplets—Erica, Jaclyn and Nicole Dahm arrived and Karen, Kelly, Paul Bruce, Hold ‘em and I were all in the VIP room. Tons of great food and drinks flowed, and we were having a great time. Now listen up girls because this is a great thing to get involved in and it was a heck of a lot of fun. They did tons of advertising and guess what? Only about twenty girls showed up. So every girl got picked! Picked for what? The following day you are then out at a golf course and at a particular hole with another girl and you pretty well are just the officials that make the whole look a lot better and more entertaining for the golfers. Two out of the twenty girls would be chosen from each golf city to go to the Playboy Mansion.
I had already told Kelly about the event, and she wanted to come to Arizona and hang out anyways so she flew out to be part of the festivities. Even though Karen had said I was going to be a host I was pushed in with the rest of the wannabe girls and put up on the stage with Kelly along in tow. The girls already knew that I had connections because I had come to the event in my Playboy shirt. I thought I was the host not a participant. So then they handed out the other shirts to all the eighteen other girls that got picked (which luckily were all of them), and they asked how I had gotten a shirt. I told them I had already done a pictorial for Playboy and had the shirt.
We were VIP, though after the stage appearance we got to go back to the VIP room where as the other eighteen girls that had been chosen were not invited into this room. It was just the triplets, Karen, Kelly, and I and all the golfers that were signed up for the following festivities. And of course both of our boyfriends in tow!
The following day came for us to be on the golf course. I was excited and even called my mom to find out if she would like to come out and join. She amazingly agreed and came over to my house. She was wearing clothes from the seventies and I gave her a pair of jeans and a Playboy shirt to wear instead. She looked great and young, and we headed out.
Kelly, my mom and me pretty well guarded the one hole most of the day. It was great fun because the guys were extremely nice and all were flirting with my mom. Of course Karen didn’t have to watch a golf hole like us. She got the pleasure of driving around the famous triplets that were the hired Playmates for that day’s event. We were forced to standing out in the heat of the sun. We still had a great time and got burgers and hot dogs to eat and all the pop or water we wanted to drink at a nearby hole. They told us that we had to tell each person at the golf hole who we were because the golfers were going to pick two of us to go to the mansion.
I began to think of it like a competition, especially since I was with the “common folks,” I figured I needed to win to get to go and I wanted to go. Later that night they had the big award ceremony and this is when they ultimately picked two girls that got to go from Arizona. How crazy girls can be, one girl began to physically promise things to golfers if they voted for her. She was crazy. All of the ballots were handed out, and they were supposed to write the girls name on the slip of paper that they wanted chosen to go to the mansion. This girl was so ballsy that she just went around to each table and crossed out other girls’ names and wrote hers. I had not stooped that low, but I had tried to be as nice to everyone on the course as possible. A little competition was good for all of us. About five girls went up to complain about the other girl crossing off other girls’ names. They announced the two girls that had won, and it was neither me nor the girl that obviously would have had more votes. I was later told they had disqualified her for fixing the ballots and that I weren’t ineligible because I was already invited. I was happy. That meant all the volunteering would hopefully pay off.
We were the MCs for the night, and Karen and I took over the microphone because we were simply asked to give out the awards. They had a crazy raffle that was for charity and we helped sell a ton of tickets for different prizes prior to the award show. Then I got on the speaker because I had already told Karen about my lesbian experience at the mansion, and she said she had never kissed a girl before. I announced that anyone that was willing to donate $100 to the charity that night would get to see an up close and personal kiss between me and Karen and to let everyone know that it was her first kiss with a girl. Almost immediately someone volunteered up the $100 and we did a pretend drum roll and I kissed her. It wasn’t one of those quick kisses either. We actually gave them their $100 worth.
The triplets were at the award ceremony, and Bruce came with me for the night’s event. I introduced him to Mr. Smiley, who was the staff photographer for the Playboy Golf event. I figured if he was helpful to him that maybe he would be able to go to many more events. Sure enough they hit it off and Bruce helped him much of the night to put pictures in frames for people and help him in other ways to make his night go more smoothly. Mr. Smiley took some pictures of the Dahm Triplets, and they were signing them for the guests. He was making a ton of sales from this when one of the triplets noticed that one of the pictures of the girls had her eyes looking slightly crossed. She suddenly became enraged and started cussing out the camera guy. Telling him how terrible he was and what an idiot to print such an ugly picture, and didn’t he have any talent? Bruce had gotten a few pictures of me on the course and of the triplets for free for helping out, and we got them all to sign it. That is why I was there during the huge argument. The guy right before me had brought up the picture that flipped her out. He apologized a hundred times over and tried to explain that he was just in a hurry and hadn’t really looked at the picture. Other then that it was a great night and lots of fun.

Chapter Twenty Four
Playboy Golf Host Las Vegas

About a month later, I was invited to the Las Vegas golf finals were I did the same thing but got to bring Bruce along and he got to go to the VIP party at one of the big Vegas hotels.
I worked the golf course during the day making all the guys have a terrific time and feel like they were at home. On the Vegas day, they flew in Playmates on a special helicopter for the grand entrance. It was big excitement for all the golfers for them to see the helicopter land and the girls get out in their cute outfits. I had been around the Triplets and they were very professional and not power hungry (even if one of them had been a little temperamental at the other event). The new groups of Playmates at the Vegas party were completely different.
Prior to the tournament starting, we were all sitting in the clubhouse, and one Playmate said to the other Playmate, “I don’t fucking get paid enough to have to be nice.” They had not let me join in for the conversation, and I was basically sitting alone at a table nearby. Kind of like the girl that wanted to be part of the in crowd, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen. They continued to bash the golfers that were there and talk about if they weren’t paid so much to show up that they sure wouldn’t give any of them the time of day. I decided to pull my secret weapon out of my bag—my beautiful puppy dog. Yes, as magically as I figured, all the girls went crazy and Miriam Gonzales immediately snatched up the puppy and brought her back to the table and sat around talking to the other girls. I sat there back at my table alone as they all petted my dog. Holdem was looking over at me as if to say, save me. Instead I just kind of laughed inside that they would have the guts to take my dog completely and still not engage in any conversation with me. Wanting to be the liked girl, I left poor Holdem over there with them tugging on her ears and petting her excitedly. Finally it was time to go and I was given the dog back. I put her back in her carrying bag and headed to the course.
Because the girls were not so nice, Karen and I both didn’t have a lot of energy this time to help out. Not like when we were in Arizona. We were quickly put in our places, and so we followed suit by not doing a damn thing. We decided not to even go to the course the following day because we had experienced no fun or pleasure the day before. We did however show up to both parties after the golf event. We were not ones to miss a good free-drink party. Anyhow we were not trying to kiss ass to the Playmates. We were trying to make sure that the golfers were having a great time. We took pictures with all of them and had a great time making sure they had a good time.
The award ceremony was much different then the award ceremony in Arizona. We didn’t mind so much. We just sat back and watched and had a good time. We were building a rapport with the Playmates just because they had seen us at all the parties at the mansion and the playboy golf parties, but they still considered us not good enough to be on their level.
I figured they probably all had to have sex with Hef for months upon months and I would want some kind of status, too, my God, if I had to denigrate myself like that. I am being absolutely serious and not undercutting these girls a bit, but I figured they did earn it. I really didn’t care that much.
It was actually nice to see them not on the pages and in person because they looked just like many girls, and I think if girls saw them not all done up they would put a lot less pressure on themselves. A few of them, such as the Miriam, were at least forty pounds over weight. I was surprised and thought that was kind of cool that they didn’t get rid of Playmates just because they were not keeping up their appearance.
I am the same way. People ask me, “Is that you?” when I give them an autographed 8 x 10. I feel like saying, “Oh no. I just stole these from another blonde girl and I am forging her signature.” You can’t look like you jumped off the page of a magazine because it has so much to do with lighting, makeup, airbrush and more. In so many ways, it isn’t reality. Of all people, I know this for a fact because I have personally partied with dozens and dozens of Playmates and only a few were ones that were really amazingly beautiful.
The second party was wonderful except one of Playboy’s top executives was pressuring Karen just a little too heavily. I am talking about sexual advances. She was a great tease and made men feel that they were going to get sex, but when it came right down to it she was happy with who she was with. She was the best player in the game. These guys were most often married men who seemed to get off on flirting with a Playboy bunny. Her best line would be to tell everyone that she wanted something from them, that she was just miserable at home. This gave her the perfect opportunity to make sure the guys never called her at home or pressed her to go out.
I have to admire her she was the best at the game, and she got more gifts then any girl I can imagine. I didn’t feel bad for the men because frankly, they were playing her a lot more than she was playing them. She was fully committed and living with her boyfriend who bought her everything and paid for everything and even bought her a brand-new Porsche two years in a row. She was not the kind of girl who went out with poor guys.
The guy that she had dated before had given her a Ferrari or Lamborghini. She ultimately gave it back when they broke up, but she told me stories of this old boyfriend owning more then a dozen cars and he was a true playboy. She showed me an article about him in some magazine, and it was intriguing to hear her talk about him. They were still good friends, and she ultimately got him to let Playboy use his boat in one of the cities for the Playboy Golf Party, which ultimately got her in good with the owners of this event. Karen had the looks of Carmen Electra and the body! She not only had the brains she was a shrewd businesswoman. She had, however, gotten in over her head this evening. Too many emails to this high-ranking Playboy executive, and he was putting the fire to her feet. She had no intentions of being with him and begged me to help her get out of the mess she was ultimately in.
As the night wore on, I told Bruce we were going to need to leave and told him the situation. I said I am going to act all sick and stuff and make Karen take me back to the hotel. Just lag behind a little so it won’t look like you could take me home because she needs to have a great excuse to get out of this. I pretended to become very sick and wandered over to her where she had been forced to sit. Pulling all my actress moves on, I began to tell her I thought I was going to be sick and that I couldn’t make it back to my hotel. She walked me out, and Bruce caught up with us at the front near the valet. It almost didn’t work because the guy said you can just lie down in my room. Gosh I hadn’t thought of that comment. I just flat out said I just wouldn’t feel comfortable, and he stopped pressing. He started saying, “Karen come back to the party once you get her to her hotel. “ We had both dodged a bullet because she was my friend and I felt for her.

Chapter Twenty Five
Sex at the Mansion on my terms

The finals at the Playboy Mansion had finally arrived. The winners from each state were there to compete for the final winner, and they had ultimately won anyway because they were at the Playboy Mansion and that was what many of them had wanted to accomplish in the first place.
Because of my participation I was free to go to the mansion on both days and I paid $500 per day to bring Bruce to both events. It was just like the parties at the mansion with us taking the shuttle bus over except they were not really doing much checking and it was much less official because it was a private party. Even though they call it Playboy Golf Event, an independent owner actually pays Playboy to use their name and ultimately pays a hefty fee to hold the party at the mansion. It is pretty well a rental, and many companies have private parties at the mansion just by paying the price to throw a party there. Just like the Miller Lite party that was going on at the Mansion when I stayed there. It was a rented event.
I think one reason the owners of the Playboy Golf Event didn’t mind Bruce attending was simply because I was more fun with him then without him. I guess when he is present I don’t feel guilty that he is sitting at home waiting on me or playing poker at some casino. When we are together then I feel light of heart and able to be myself. One thing about Bruce is he is not the hang-on jealous type. He is more of a guy that enjoys watching men go crazy over me and still knowing that I am his. He let me pose with every golfer there and get as crazy as I wanted to be. I think he got pleasure from watching men want me, and he still enjoyed the often “You lucky son of a bitch” he would get from guys that found out he was ultimately my guy. He would never let on or say anything, and he was the perfect boyfriend. The more the guys fell in love with me the more he would smile.
The first day of the golf tournament was a tea party at the Playboy Mansion in the middle of the day. Two girls from each state that had a Playboy Golf event were present and accounted for. I was very lucky because I do have the total Playboy Playmate look, and I think many girls at this event were super nice to me just because of this. They knew I had already posed for Playboy and even stayed at the mansion. They treated me like I was the key to telling them how to make it happen. Inasmuch, I did have the keys—I just hadn’t driven the car. Since many of girls have never done any modeling, much less a full shoot for Playboy I had still accomplished what many of them would have ultimately accepted doing.
Not but a few seconds into the event, girls asked me where the famous grotto was. I led a pack of girls into the grotto to show them where it was. You actually do have to know where it is because it is pretty hidden. It has a pathway that doesn’t look like it is really leading anywhere and then suddenly you are there. No one was in the grotto. Many of the girls went in and looked around, but those not willing to get wet left. Two other girls stayed behind. Bruce, my partner in crime, was taking pictures of me in the grotto. I asked the girls if I could get a picture with them. They said sure. We took one normal, and then I asked if I could flash since it was the infamous grotto! Come on! One girl said her breasts were too small. Me and the other girl tried to talk her into it but she wasn’t going for it. The other girl flashed and I flashed and Bruce got the picture he wanted.
We had the best time checking out all the animals, and I showed Bruce around the entire place since I knew it like the back of my hand from getting to stay there almost a week. I showed him the monkeys and the birds and even took him through the strange smaller enclosed zoo with the fish and other exotic birds. We ate till we were so full, and they even had people giving massages out in this big tent.
They were ultimately trying to sell us a massage machine, but it was still fun and they didn’t pressure you; they just gave you a brochure and gave a nice neck and feet massage while you were in the mechanical massager.
Official Playmates were their in their cute bunny outfits with ears, tail and all. They were not so territorial and seemed much nicer. I got to meet many of the Playmates that I had never met before so that was a fun thing. Taking pictures with all of them and drinking from the open bar all day.
We then were shuttled back to our vehicles and ultimately drove back to the Sofitel that Bruce and I and Karen and her boyfriend were staying at as well. There was an additional party that night that we went to but not many people showed up to that.
The following day Sunday was the last day of the finals at the Playboy mansion. The golfers were busy trying to win for that night’s trophy while the girls were at the hotels getting their beauty sleep and getting all prepared for the crazy night at the Playboy Mansion. It was going to be a lingerie party as well. I decided to wear my outfit from Hef’s birthday party since none of the same people were going to be there I figured I could get away with wearing it again.
Early in the party, two bubbly girls came up to me and said they wanted to be shown where the famous grotto was, and they had heard I knew my way around. I said sure and headed to show them the semiprivate pathway that lead to the grotto. They said we want to get naked in there, come with us.
I said, “Oh no. It is way too early for that.” I informed them that it was like a sauna in there, that they should go and take a look, but if they all wanted to get naked that we would all meet at midnight towards the end of the party that way we wouldn’t care if we got our hair frizzed and wet. They said it was a date and we all agreed to spread the word “Naked in the Grotto at Midnight.”
Karen never one without lots of connections called up E! Entertainment and told them about the event going on at the mansion. I’m telling you this girl has power. They agreed to come, and the mansion definitely agreed to have them because it was good press. Having Karen there and them coming to personally find her to be the co-host for the Wild on E! show.
We were both a perfect team because of her brunette hair and my blonde hair. Giving us the microphone gave us both a crazy head and we both began to get Wild on E! We started kissing even without the $100 for charity. Next thing you know we were flashing and screaming “Wild on E! at the Playboy Mansion.” I told you I get a little crazy when Bruce is around because I feel I am not worried about someone slipping something into my drink or not getting home alright and I was drinking my Diet Cokes and Malibus as fast as they came.
During one of the takes of the Wild on E! show I completely fell over and landed in a bush. That is one of the best things about drinking—you don’t seem to get hurt as much. I am not kidding! I was completely in the bush and had to be rescued out of the bush. Once the TV started rolling for E! the girls got crazier, and we all started doing things for the camera just like we did for the Playboy camera at the mansion parties.
The entire night every girl we ran into we kept telling them “Naked in the Grotto at Midnight!” Many of girls asked where Hef was and because it was a Sunday I knew exactly where he was. I took many of the girls for strolls past the windows were they were all having their Sunday buffet like all the Sundays before that. The girls were excited to see him even though it was just at a great distance.
From one of the windows on the second floor of the mansion a girl peeked out letting some of the fresh air into her room. It was Michelle. I quickly called to her, and she waved. I said “You moved!” and she said yes. I had known all along that the excuse for more privacy was just a plain way to say “I am waiting for the next girl to be evicted so I can get my own room.” I waved excitedly to her. She asked what I was doing there as if I was a threat again. I told her I was the Playboy Golf Host and she just shook her head and smiled.
I asked her, “What are you doing up there now?” She informed me she had moved and lived in that part of the mansion now. I waved and then headed off. In the back of my mind, I knew that she was not living out in the guest house because she wanted to and it was more private for her and her daughter. I had found out from Kelly that there wasn’t a space for her upstairs and when one of the other official girlfriends got booted out she took their room.
I might not have had sex with Hef at the mansion but I did make out with my share of girls, one upstairs in his bedroom, and many others at the plush parties that were thrown. This night I had licked a few girls’ breasts for the E! Entertainment camera and they had done the same to me and it was getting to be somewhat of a great party.
This however was my chance to have great sex with the man I was crazy about. I actually hadn’t thought about it till my girlfriend Karen said she was taking her boyfriend to the trampoline for a little bit of making out. She asked if we would stand guard.
Without hesitation Bruce and I followed them to back behind the pool to find the trampoline fully covered. Unbuttoning it Karen and Paul made their way through a semi-small opening that they had made. With the darkness of the night and the cover of the trampoline they began to wail underneath the cover with some hot wild sex going on. Bruce and I stood guard as if we were just talking and it became even more intense just hearing them going at it. We were the best of friends but had never heard them having sex and the excitement of being at the mansion and all four of us together made it all the better. The excitement, adrenaline, and the possibility of being stopped by the security guards made this my most memorable experience. After about ten minutes of intense sex they both gathered themselves up and made their way out from under the cover. They promised to stand guard. Sex, speed, and orgasms—this was the life. The ultimate relaxation knowing that I could do whatever I wanted to do at this party and I was free from any worries of doing things I was not supposed to. It was cold but when the cover was snuggled down farther I began to warm up.
Karen pulled the covers up and screamed “a guard is coming” she quickly squealed that she was just kidding. To my luck it hadn’t scared off a very hard erection that Bruce was having. Some men can’t perform under stress, but Bruce was not having any trouble continuing and the thought of being caught made it all the more exciting. Hundreds of party goers less that forty feet away but we had found our own oasis. After a very passionate romp, we came out and emerged and all four of us headed back to the party. I closed the cover on the trampoline as to not leave any evidence. Karen and I both laughed knowing that Hef had wanted so much to have sex with the both of us, but we had shown that we were two both strong individuals and that we both liked our guys and our values more than we could part with.
I was very intoxicated by the time 12:00 p.m. came around. I can’t help it—the drinks were free! I was late for my own party. I didn’t have a watch on. I just suddenly noticed almost everyone gone! I swam in through the secret entrance under the falls with two other gals. We were already topless swimming in the pool. When we got into the Grotto everyone was bare ass naked and everyone was excited to see me—after all, the naked swim party was my idea! I left my underwear on, but most of the other gals did not. We were all kissing, posing, screaming, and having a great time. I have to admit I had been to quite a few Playboy parties and not once had seen anyone naked in the grotto! I had peeked in the grotto many times during parties, just to see a couple in one of the Jacuzzis kissing. I was excited to see it like this. This is what guys imagine when they think of the Playboy mansion, and I think because the party wasn’t full of producers and models, that this is why it was such a great night. There wasn’t so much pressure of seeing the person on the set the next day or having to work with them at an event. These were men and women from all around the United States that would probably never see each other again and it made for a damn good party. The girl that was in the grotto the day before that we could not get her to flash for Bruce’s picture was bare ass naked with no underwear on in the grotto.
The drunken guy from the Howard Stern show was there, and he was the only creep at the party. He was trying to reach up the girls’ crotches and grab them. He was in one of the Jacuzzis and the girl completely naked just simply stood on his entire head to get him to stop. I helped her as we pushed him away to get him to leave us alone.
I had taken the secret entrance through the pool, but Bruce had to fight the crowd and go through the regular entrance. It was already heavily packed with men watching the festivities. He finally made it through to the excitement to see all of us making out and having a good old time posing for the cameras. He snapped off a few pictures with our throwaway camera and then slipped and the camera went head first into the grotto. Trying to quickly go after it his glasses fell from his face and plunged into the grotto as well. Blind with tons of naked girls and nothing he could do about it, he stood their helpless. Nicely enough a nude guy swimmer came by and fished out his glasses and camera from the Jacuzzi. He quickly put his glasses on but they fogged up immediately from the steam making him not be able to see all of the naked bodies and beautiful girls.
Like lightning, as soon as the E! entertainment camera went off the girls were gone in a flash. It was as if the light was kryptonite and without it they were powerless. The clothes were put back on so fast that it was as if mom and dad had come home from their weekend vacation a day too early. I have to admit this was what I dreamed the Playboy mansion was going to be like. Most of the girls that were there were actually single and having a great time. They were not all their just pretending to be single. There was still only girl kissing and touching other girls, though. That was the rules, and as long as the guys were watching and not participating all of the girls felt comfortable with the whole situation.
One thing that I thought was funny is the following year Hef attended the Playboy Golf Party. He normally did not attend any rented event parties. I guess those tapes of all us crazy girls having such a good time made him have to show up at this party the next year to be part of the excitement. The night ended but it was a grand night, the best I had ever had. The clips from that night were later showed on E! Entertainment Wild on E! “Hollywood Nights” Entertainment network 2003 and Wild on E! “Wildest Women” Entertainment network 2003.

Chapter Twenty Six

Tidbits of Fun about celebrities at the Playboy
Mansion from hot girlfriend.

* I'm waiting in the bathroom line and suddenly I
realize the guy in front of me is Owen Wilson. I've
always thought he seemed like he would be a really
cool guy to meet. I see his shoe is untied, and I let
him know. At that moment, I realize he is incredibly
wasted, and he tells me he knows it is untied and that
he likes it that way. It's part of his plan. The
person comes out of the bathroom, and Owen just stands
there swaying. So I ask if he is going in. He says he
is thinking about taking a shower. Finally he goes in.
Later I run into some friends who are there as painted
girls, passing out Jell-o shots. They say he has been
hitting on them relentlessly all night, and they have
been trying to give him more Jell-o shots to make him
just pass out and leave them alone.

* I had porn star Ron Jeremy offer to give me a
"sensual massage". And when I finally let him rub my
shoulders a little he tried to kiss me! Then he did
the same thing to my friend and actually laid one on
her before she knew what was happening.

* At one party, Jeremy Piven started hitting on my
friend. I only knew his name as Dean Pritchard from
Old School, so when the bartender was like "I see
you're hanging out with Jeremy Piven." I was like, who?
He tries to invite us to his after hour’s party, which
we didn't want to go to because it sounded like it
would just be us three. He kept saying he would take us
there in his limo. We all danced and then my friend
disappears. I go to the bathroom and later find out
she went and made out with Jeremy, and he tried to get
her to ditch me and go with him! He said they would be
back before I was ready to leave. Thank God for good
friends because I would have been stuck there since
she drove. So Dean Pritchard tried to ditch me and
that's what I think about every time I see him now.

* Pauly Shore is always at the mansion, and all the
girls think he is an asshole. He kept trying to grab
my friend's butt all night. I had never talked to him
before and decided to make my own opinion so I tried
chatting with him one night. Yep, he's an asshole.

* Fred Durst is also always there. I just remember
seeing him wandering around alone one night and
thinking about how celebrities aren't really
celebrities at the mansion because Hef and the
playmates are the real stars there. Then there are
celebrities, and then there are the pretty extras in the

* The only time I saw real star power was when Jack
Nicholson was there. There was this buzz around him.
It was incredible. He was in a room off to the side,
and everyone was around his table like he was holding
court. Everyone wanted to get near him. I thought it
was cool just to see and hear him in person. He looked
and sounded every bit as cool as he was in movies. He
is one celebrity who does not disappoint!

* The first celebrity I met there was Drew Carey. He
was so nice! He was standing by me and turned around
and said, “Hi, I'm Drew.” And all I could think was
"well duh!" But he was so normal about it. I just
shook his hand and introduced myself, and we chatted
like normal people at a party.

* Last time I was there I was behind Chyna (the
wrestler) in the bathroom line. (I always see people
in the bathroom line!) I didn't even know it was her
because she was so short. I thought she was tall and
Amazon-like. She had this girl with her, and they were
looking into each other's eyes and seemed to be
talking about their relationship. So I was surprised
to learn Chyna was short and maybe gay.

*I actually just got my New Year's Eve party invite last week, but
there is no way I'd leave my husband and spend it
there alone again. I was pretty miserable last year.
And of course there is no way to get the husband in.
In Jenny's words "Hef doesn't do that." I know, I

* And at another party—this was a sponsored party,
not an official Hef party—Ryan Starr from American
Idol was sitting on the ground near the coat check and
seemed to be whining about how everyone was mean or
didn't like her or something. I was standing near her,
and my friend comes walking up and is like "Did you
see Ryann Starr? She's not really that pretty" etc...
and went on being catty. All the time, I was feeling
bad for the girl and trying to edge away hoping she
wasn't able to hear what my friend was saying. This is
also the same friend who moments before had gotten
Ryann to take a picture with her!

How I got invited to the Playboy Mansion:
I got invited to one of the sponsored parties that was
being thrown by a liquor company. While I was there, I
ended up talking to one of the girls who wasn't really
dressed for the party. She said she lived a few houses
down. (On a side note, when Hef has a big party, he
invites everyone on the block so they don't complain.
That is why there are so many non-famous old men

Everyone there was talking about how the "real"
parties were so much better. I had no idea there was a
difference. I mentioned this to the girl outside. She
said I could just send my photos in if I wanted to get
invited. She gave me the address and the girl's name
whom I should contact. I asked if I should say she sent
me and she was like, “No! Don't tell her I gave out the
address!” I later found out this very nice girl who
helped me out was a Playmate from several years ago.
So I sent my photos in with a note saying I would like
to attend a party. A month later I got a call and was
invited to the New Year’s Eve party, and I've been
going ever since. I have no idea how they decide who
to invite because a friend of mine sent her photos in
three times before she got a call. And then she was only
invited to some of the parties. And I know some people
who have gotten no response. So I have no idea what
they are looking for!

As far as xxxxx's experience. . . .I met xxxxx at a promo we did together. We worked together for a week. She is a very nice girl, but also seemed very naive. She just started modeling and
wanted to be in Playboy really bad. She did a test
shoot and said they would be making her cyber girl and
then people would vote whether she got to be a
Playmate or not. She said the whole process takes
about a year and you really have to work for it. And
that most of the cyber girls spend time at the mansion
before becoming Playmates. She started going up to the
mansion on the weekends for movie night and other
stuff. She kept inviting me, but I didn't have time to
go at that time. Then next time I heard from her, she was
saying she called Playboy and told them she doesn't
want to be cyber girl and wants all her pictures down.
All she would say is "read this book called Upstairs
and it's all true."
So I talked to another friend that is friends with her
and she said xxxxx stayed the night and everyone was
having sex with Hef, and they tried to get her to join
in. And that they were all calling him Daddy and used
no protection. Finally xxxxx told me basically the
same thing, and that the girls were all very mean to
her and saying bad things behind her back, and she just
couldn't take it anymore. She said they were catty and
horrible, but she didn't give any more details. Since
I barely knew her, I didn't pry into it.

I guess she got over it though, since she ended up
being cyber girl. I haven't heard from her since that.

* There is a creepy still photographer named Kenneth running around at the Mansion during all parties. He is an older bearded Scandinavian guy with a scruffy appearance, and it's pretty obvious that he doesn't quite fit in. His job is to document everything Hef does, for the “Hanging with Hef” picture page of the magazine. Basically, Kenneth is not one of the celebrated centerfold or feature photographers (who are all super nice), but a bottom-of-the-barrel snapshot shooter who seems to hold some serious resentment or jealousy issues towards his boss and all the girls and celebs he is there to photograph.

Though the staff is not allowed to mingle or chit-chat with the
guests, much less reveal the secrets of the Mansion, Kenneth will tell everyone who will listen how stupid the parties are and what cheap whores the “girlfriends” are. It always makes me and my friend’s very uncomfortable running into Kenneth at the parties because it's awkward having to listen to his whining. But it does pay off, because we always get to hear some seriously juicy stories from him. If Hef knew what a rat Kenneth is, I doubt he would keep him around much longer...


Other random things:
* I have never seen a darn thing going on in the
grotto except people sitting around drinking and
sweating because it is hot and steamy. No naked people
or anything. I know some models that were actually
hired to be "grotto girls" and were paid to be in the
grotto topless for one of the parties, but I didn't go
to that one.

* A lot of girls I know have been painted. I was told
that if your "lips/private area" stick out too much, then they have
to be taped together to look decent. There is a guy
that paints you (Mark Frasier) but the lip taper is a
woman. I haven't asked yet how the taped girls go pee!
You get paid $400 to be completely naked and painted
and work at the party. Working is serving Jell-o shots
or dancing on stage. The funny thing is seeing the
painted girls on stage who move all stiff because they
don't want to open their legs the least bit because
they are naked. They have to get there very early to
get painted and then work pretty late. It is a really
long day, and they always look tired and bored near the
end. It just doesn't look like any fun at all!

The above stories are courtesy of a fun Playboy girl who has had a lot of Playboy experience as well!

*An email from Playmate Michele Rogers: “Anyway, what’s going on with you? I thought for sure you were going to move into the mansion. What happened with that? I last saw you at the Midsummer Night’s Eve. How did you like that party anyway? I’m so sick of those parties . . . same old people. No one interesting, and just because I’m a Playmate all the old pervs think I’m easy or something. It makes me sick.
*An email from Brande Roderick, Playmate of the year: Jill Ann Thanks so much for sending those pictures. It was really nice meeting you take care Brande xoxoxo.

*An email from another friend that is a Playmate: “Hef is a fucking asshole however it would take a lot of Playboy models and Playmates going public to tarnish his image, and people are too scared to. I’m glad you wrote the book. It was a bold, strong thing to do.”

A Playmate friend explained once she made Playmate she was disowned from her parents. That the entertainment industry stereotyped her where it is impossible to be respected. She got stalkers and had to move twice.

*One of Hef’s girlfriends tells about her past.

Growing up in the south I was made fun of every day for being ugly. My whole life I was always the last to be picked for a team. At the cafeteria I would sit alone at lunch. It wasn’t easy. One day I went I went to the grocery store and picked up a fashion magazine. There at that moment I knew I wanted to model. At fourteen, I started my freshman year in high school. I colored my hair blonde and put blue contacts on. I learned how to put makeup on. I gave myself a makeover and became hot! I dated my high school boyfriend, who loved Playboy. The first one I picked up was in his bathroom. I looked at it and thought wow these girls were gorgeous, not that I was gay or anything but they were beautiful women.
I thought to myself if they can do it so can I. At this time, I was eighteen years old. I set myself out to Los Angeles. I struggled in LA for the first two years of living there. I was meeting all the wrong people and started shooting nude pics for random websites. Hoping to get discovered by Playboy. I finally got invited by email that there was a party hosted at the Playboy mansion. There I gave my name and number to Hef. Later that month I met him again at a nightclub. He asked me to sit at their table. He took me back to the mansion. I was so excited to be at the mansion. I never thought in a million years I would be at the Playboy Mansion. The next day I woke up with a major hangover, and the kitchen staff made me toast and gave me aspirin plus club soda. I came home feeling bad. Hef still called and invited me out again. I found out a lot about the girls. One came from a trailer trash home and one of the other girls came out from a bad marriage. She told me he was rich and took good care of her but was too controlling so she divorced him and met Hef at some party. One of the other girls was from London and had a boy named Luis. She also had a bad marriage, and her ex-husband was in jail for something. Another gal had a little girl and she got pregnant at a young age out of wedlock and was struggling to become an actress. One of the other girls was from Canada who left her country to come to the U.S. to be a star. The main girlfriend Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, who stays in Hef’s room, left her boyfriend after meeting Hef and she never left Hef since then.
Being at the mansion was exciting, but I was always lonely. The girls were like snakes out to get one another. They all try to have each other kicked out. I went and cried to Hef about it. It was a mess there.

One of Hef’s girlfriends tells it like it was.

I was nervous but excited because I always wanted to be inside the Playboy Mansion. I had always been outside at the parties for rented-out parties but never actually inside. I went the back way walking out with the girls and Hef. Hef was holding my hand and Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door was with me. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door said she was going to take care of me and took me to her room. I went to her room to put my bags down, and my jacket and to get undressed. She finally walked me to Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door’s room, which is also known as Hef’s room. The first things I noticed is the room smelled like piss. I remember being barefooted, and I remember it being sticky because of dog piss. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door lets her dogs urinate upstairs. So Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door was telling me this is what we do, we take a bath first. So we took a bath and Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door gave me her rubber ducky to play with. While I was playing with the rubber ducky, Hef took a camera out and took a picture of all of us in the tub. We then got out and dried off and went inside his bedroom. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door took out all of these toys, like vibrators and helped plug them in and just play with it and mimic everything that everyone else was doing. That night I had my underwear on because I was on my period.

I remember huge projection screen but the TV was divided with one screen playing gay porn (men on men) particularly interracial gay porn. On the other side of the screen was just regular boy-girl porn.

I saw Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door carrying a bunch of hot towels and she put up on the top of the bed.

The bedroom was mess with lots of magazines and there was an upstairs to his private office.

When I first walked into the bedroom there was loud house music playing. Hef got a joint ready and made everyone smoke it. I hate the smell of it so I didn’t do it. Dildos, vibrators, anal plugs, strap-ons,

After the joint was passed around, then out of drawer was a stack of vibrators and everyone started plugging them in and Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door handed me my own. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door said to me “If you don’t want to play with it you can pretend and put it on top of your underwear.”

He was watching the new girls. Even when Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door was giving him a deep throating blow job his eyes were pegged on me. He was focused on what I was doing or seeing and observing. After she gave a blow job she kissed him. As soon as she got up to take a breather she would say, “Oh daddy . . . Oh daddy.” Each girl after this took turns sucking him. While each girl was playing with each other while one would be giving him blow job. Zoe was the first person to ride Hef and then Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door wiped him off after their two- minute sex. The next girl hopped on and had her two-minute turn and so on. During each girl having sex with Hef, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door was fingering him in the ass with two fingers. I noticed that his asshole was big. It looked very loose. After that Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door was the one that was the last girl to have sex with him. So she was riding him for two minutes and then she put it into her butt (a-hole). I was surprised that the old man’s dick didn’t look like an old man’s dick but a young guy’s dick. It was big and I was surprised because in my head I was picturing old balls and wrinkly old dick and it would be nasty looking. I wasn’t a pervert, but I was just curious. I noticed on his dick that there was a round like wart on the head of the penis. I noticed that they did not use protection. I remember being freaked out because of this.

At the time I was so desperate to be in the in crowd that I was to go all the way with whatever they wanted just so I could be there even if it included unprotected sex even, though that is normally against my personal rule. At the very end, Hef jacked himself off but nothing came out even though he made a lot of noise and moaned a lot. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door and Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door stayed and made out with Hef even though the other girls all left the room. I remembered that Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door had mentioned that the way it works is the girls get paid according to how special you are to Hef. She told me that she had sex with him other nights than Wednesdays and Fridays, making her even more special girlfriend. Every Monday and Tuesday she got to go back home because her cats needed special attention. Hef paid for her exclusive apartment across from the groves in LA.

After the sex party was over I was led into a big closet with nothing but pink pajamas. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door handed me one, and I followed Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door back to her room and that is where I slept. I ended up not sleeping because we stayed up and I asked her so many questions about living at the mansion. She asked me if I was hungry, and we ended up eating breakfast together. I ordered a bagel with cream cheese and scramble egg and an orange juice. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door had toast and a smoked salmon.

How did you get started here I asked Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door? She said she met him at a party. And she started hanging out at the mansion and Hef started asking her out and finally popped the question and asked her to be his girlfriend and gave her a necklace.

I said your parents must be proud of you and excited. She said no that she came from a trailer trash home.

I asked her about Lena Lie, what happened to her and was she a girlfriend. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door was like no she was never a girlfriend she was just a part-time girl that came up and fucked Hef.

How was the experience with Hugh Hefner? It was mentally draining to kiss everyone’s ass to get everyone to like you. I later did at least appear in Playboy magazine in 2003.

The second time I was out at the mansion I bumped into her by the guest house and she said the following to me. “What are you doing here? If you think you are going to make Playmate by fucking Hef you’re not going to make it. Just to let you know if these girls tell you to do something you don’t have to do it.”

After the Mardi Gras party, the Playmate of the year joined us upstairs with Hef. She brought a girlfriend with her and her and Christina both had sex with Hef.

Jill Ann’s book tells it down to the core like it really was. My experience with Hef was worse then what Jill Ann went through.

One night Hef got on top of Krystal and the other girls just gasped. This was not something he normally would do only laying on his back and having the girl come to him. He then grabbed my hair and made me start making out with Krystal.

The girls told me to do anal sex with Hef, and then he will make you an official girlfriend.

When I went on Sunday fun day, Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door explained to me what each day of the week represented.

All the girls were living in fear of Hef. At any time they thought they might be evicted and forced to move out if they did anything incorrect.

I instant messaged Kim while putting this book together and asked her to help remember some of the sexier things from the sex nights.

Kim: I forgot to tell you that Amanda "f" me with a strap on for Hef
JILL ANN: Did she actually do it or faked it?
Kim: And Hef made me kiss Sherrie when he got on top of her
JILL ANN: You told me that about Sherrie
Kim: She did it
JILL ANN: Poor Kim that probably hurt
Kim: And Hef has a big pearl-like bump on top of his penis
JILL ANN: Hope she at least put lube on it.
Kim: I mean around the head of it
Kim: It was weird
Kim: After that I didn't wanna give a blow job
Kim: The night of Mardi Gras party Hef ended it early
Kim: He was pissed because all the girls left the table to take pics with those celebs
Kim: So he made us all go upstairs
JILL ANN: He shouldn't be jealous of the celebs
JILL ANN: Probably Justin Timberlake really got him upset
Kim: He brought back an old girlfriend and Christina Santiago put a strap-on and fucked each other
Kim: It was one crazy night
Kim: All the girls got in trouble
Kim: Except for Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door and Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door
JILL ANN: probably because they didn't leave the table
Kim: And Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door and Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door fuck Hef on other nights beside wed n Friday

Chapter Twenty Seven
Agent Scum

During the Midsummer party a guy had approached me and I was rude, reluctantly, because of my experiences with other men who had come up to me.
“You are by far the most beautiful woman at this party.”
“That is so sweet,” I said. “I’ll bet you say that to all the girls.”
He said, “Actually I haven’t.” He handed me his card, and it had the Playboy logo. Gordon Rael, Talent Consultant to Playmate Promotions/Playboy Model Agency.
“This is the only card I’ve given out the entire night. Please don’t show it to anyone else at the party. I’m not interested in anyone else. Send me your head shot and some pictures in the mail as soon as you can.”
He came back over to me later that night when I was standing alone in the food line, came up behind me and whispered,
“You really are unbelievably beautiful. I must represent you. You have to call my office.”
I smiled at him without saying anything, and he walked away. Because he didn’t press me much I decided that maybe he was legit and this might be a great new lead. On August 13th 2002 he emailed me. I hadn’t sent the pictures to him at that point because I was waiting to have some 8 by 10s printed. He wanted to know if I remembered him. He wanted to get in touch. He reminded me that he had giving me his Playboy card. I don’t remember what I wrote back, but I do remember telling him I would get the pictures to him right away. He phoned me a few days after they arrived. The pictures were terrific, he said, and he wondered when I was coming to Los Angeles. I decided to call him back a few days later and I recorded the conversation. I wanted to make sure I had not forgotten anything or misunderstood any of his representations.

Gordon Rael Audio Tape
J: Jill
J: Do you remember me? I showed you the pictures and you called me last night?
G: Sure, yeah, I remember you.
J: I feel bad, because I was driving down the road and we had just buried our aunt…and it was, like a bad day.
G: That’s a drag. Don’t worry about it. I understand.
J: The main thing I want from Playboy is that I’m a professional poker player.
G: Okay, I don’t really deal with Playboy stuff.
J: Not really?
G: Not at all.
J: How did you get that card so Playboyish?
G: Because I’m a consultant for Playboy. I make their deals.
J: So you can’t…
G: That’s what I do. I can get any girl I want in as a Playmate, and I do their deals and when a girl is done with her month they come to me to be their agent.
J: Wow.
G: That’s my situation with Playboy, and I help them with anything they need me for. And, ah… if someone comes up to me and says, “I want to be a Playmate” and she is very, very good, then I make it happen. And, if someone is good and wants to be a pictorial, like this month, Jordan, and…you know, I found her. Dalene is Playmate of the year®, I found her. Um…that’s why my office is at Playboy because I represent all the Playmates.
J: I want to do that.
G: And, I also do TV and films and commercials.
J: Right, which I would like to do after that.
G: Yeah, you know the Playmates like to do um….for instance I have those — ads that you see in the movie What Women Want that was in Mel Gibson’s office. I do those ads and I do the ones, the pin-up type, Cutty Shark and Tanqueray and all that. And then I do Frederick’s and all those type of things, but um….what I do is um…you know in promotions, whenever there is a deal to be done, I’m the one that does it. Hold on one quick second.
J: Sure.
G: So, that’s my story, so I mean….so I’ve gotten about eighteen girls in the centerfold.
J: Wow. How can I? Um, what’s my next step?
G: Well, you can come in and we can meet.
J Okay.
G: And then, you know…see.
J: I know I met you, but….
G: Where did we meet?
J: We met at The Playboy Mansion.
G: I don’t remember things like that.
J: I gave you my card; it was the only one in full color.
G: Yeah, when did you do that? Recently?
J: Yeah, at this last party at The Midsummer Night’s Dream.
G: Okay.
J: Blonde.
G: Where do you live?
J: Arizona.
G: Oh, we just talked.
J: Yeah.
G: Yesterday. Oh, of course.
J: Yeah. That’s why I felt bad when you called me on the phone I was driving in the car….
G: Oh, I see. No…I mean, what I told you were to send me some more of those pictures.
J: Okay.
G: And, I will get them to Marilyn. She is the main person and then you can get a test.
J: Okay. Even like, special edition?
G: No, no….forget that right now.
J: Okay.
G: The special editions I can put in whoever I want.
J: Okay.
G: I mean that’s done. I mean, that’s easy. All I have to do is call up and say, “I want this girl, this girl, this girl…” They do it. I mean, I’ve got serious clout here.
J: That’s awesome.
G: And then, um…basically um, then what I’ll do is I can get your pictures over to the —, which is Marilyn Gabowski and then she will tell me whether she wants to test you or not. If she does, then you’ll go down there and you’ll do a test and if they like you, then you’re in.
J: Can…I kind of want to just do like Jordan did.
G: That’s going to be tough, because you have to be famous already.
J: Right.
G: The only way to get a cover or a pictorial, you’ve got to be very well known. Jordan was very well known in London, so she was able to get a cover. A girl that is just a Playmate does not get a cover.
J: Yeah. Right, I just think that Hef has so many Playmates already picked out.
G: My point is that you don’t get a cover if you’re a Playmate.
J: Exactly.
G: You have to be able to sell magazines. Okay. I mean, if you’ve gotten a series or if you’ve gotten a TV show or a movie and you’re on your way to stardom, then you might be able to get a cover. Or, just your name on the front and then a pictorial inside, which you can get money for. For instance, like Brooke Burke or someone like that. But, you’re not going to get a cover just being ….without doing anything. There’s no way. They’ve got to sell magazines and …
J: Right. I don’t care about the cover. I just meant….you know how they have those little articles inside there, further back
G: Right. They are not going to do that unless you’ve got some story to tell.
J: Right. Which I do. I’m a professional poker player. I’ve made the cover of all those magazines.
G: The only way that they care about that is if you are the world’s champion.
J: Okay. Well, I appreciate that. See, this is what I need to know though.
G: Well. That’s the truth.
J: That’s why I’m so glad I met you.
G: I mean, I started out…I repped Pamela Anderson before she was Playmate. I mean, I’ve repped her. I made her deal for Baywatch. I was at William-Morris at the time. I got her into Baywatch. I got Donna Dericco. I met her in Vegas. I got her in Playboy. Um, I got her on Baywatch. Um, Tracy Bingham; Carmen Electra; Jenny McCarthy….I got Jenny McCarthy
on Singled Out and then I got her in Playboy. I mean, you know…that’s what I do. That’s how I built up my relationship with Playboy. So, they pretty much let me…when there was a strike in the commercial business and they said, “Why don’t you come with us? We’ll make you a VP and then you can have your own agency too.”
J: Wow.
G: So, I said “Okay,” you know? So, basically, that’s what I am. I’m VP of promotion and I also have my own agency. Yeah, well Marilyn…
J: I’ve met Marilyn before.
G: Marilyn is a bit odd. Marilyn is very ….she has her own way of doing things, but when I get a hold of her, she does what I tell her and um….and that’s pretty much how it works. But, I knew Jordan from London, and I flew Jordan out here as her manager.
J: Yeah. She is a beautiful girl.
G: And, you know, she had done every cover. Like, last year, I did every cover of Stuff, every cover, and I did seven covers of Maxim and I did every cover of European Stuff and you know, I’m known for that. This is my gig. This is what I’m known for. I have the sexiest and best girls in the country.
J: Well, I’m so excited that you gave me your card. That’s an honor.
G: Well.
J: Even if…
G: Yeah, but I mean…if you see the girls I have, you will know all of them and you’ll say, “Wow,” you know? So, you know, every famous girl from Frederick’s, every famous pin-up girl, every girl that’s got the top web sites, those all the girls I represent.
J: Okay…so, I just…
G: I handle every aspect of their career.
J: You do?
G: You open the magazine and you see, like, you know, Skyy Blue? Those ads? That girl is mine. And, when you see, like….commercials with sexy girls in beer commercials or commercials, like I have a Midas commercial where there are two girls in the Jacuzzi and … a Valvoline commercial. I just….all kinds of commercials where you see all these ads for um….for Cutty Shark and for all these different whiskeys where they have really sexy girls, like wrapped in nothing, those are all my girls.
J: That’s so fun.
G: Yeah.
J: No wonder you’re at the Playboy Mansion.
G: Well, it’s a separate issue because I’m not employed, I mean…I’m a VP, but before I was an employee, I was friends with Hefner and… um… he always, you know, considered me like a junior version of him. So, I was always invited up there since I was sixteen.
J: Really?
G: Yeah. So, I’ve been going there for a long time.
J: That’s so awesome.
G: Yeah. So, basically, you know I’m the only guy in this city that does what I do.
J: That’s so cool.
G: Yeah. It’s good. So, um….I can help you out.
J: Well, I’d sure appreciate any – you know….
G: Yeah. No problem, just, you know….send me some more shots, and I’ll send them to Marilyn and I’ll send them to Hef also and …
J: Yeah. I’ve sent them to Hef already. I lived at the mansion for a week.
G: Well, then you know him.
J: Yeah, but…
G: Well the whole thing is…. Let me tell you something. I don’t believe in all that kind of stuff. It’s a joke, okay? All those old men ogling at the young girls. I mean, the whole point of that….you know when a girl tests for Playboy, the biggest issue that I have with it is that you have to be on parade for all those old men. And, a lot of girls don’t like that, going out every single night and…you know, I don’t do that. When I submit a girl for Playboy, you know, they take me seriously. When a girl goes by herself or when like one of his cronies like, Saginor or Ron Smith or one of those guys, then it’s free game. Then it’s not serious. Then, “Okay, we’ll make you a Playmate, but we’re not going to give you a month.” Okay? And then if you don’t do what we tell you to do, you’re not going to be a Playmate.
J: Exactly. And, that’s why I came home.
G: Right. Okay? So, but like when I do…
J: I didn’t participate.
G: No, and I’ll give you another story like, when Marilyn, she has her guys too and then, it’s like, she promised me that she would make this girl a Playmate, promised me. Wrote me a letter; took me to lunch and took me to dinner because this Arab guy wanted her so badly and then he wouldn’t go through with it because she was married and then…so, she got taken out.
They wouldn’t let her be a Playmate. Which is totally absurd and ridiculous? But, that’s how politics are. You know something? Fuck it. You know, once you become famous and once you get a series, and once you get on a TV show and you’re well known, them you can go back to them and ask for like $100,000 or $200,000 bucks, then you can be on the cover. Then you can do what Jordan did. Then you can be, like have five pages inside and do that kind of thing. That’s the right way to do it.
J: Well, the sad thing with the Playmates is almost every one of his girlfriends has already, you know…
G: Well, they all left him. They are disgusted. The ones he has now are like missing teeth and they are like, gross. But, you know….
J: Yeah, but then he realized that they would leave him if they were too gorgeous.
G: Well, most of the ones have now. They all have. The ones you see now are ugly.
J: And they, I stayed with them. You know, I went partying with them for a couple of days when I was there and they still are promised different things.
G: Oh, I know. I mean, I had a girl that they called up. This is between us; there is a girl that shall be nameless called me up and said, “Hey, listen, I want you to meet this girl.” Just to get her off his back or whatever, just to promise her something. And, I’m telling you, this girl was just like so ugly and so pathetic. She was so ugly. And then, so—not good.
J: That’s why it was so sad when I went to the party; it was like, “Okay.”
G: I said, “When are you going to be a Playmate?” And she says, “Well, I’m going to be one, but I don’t have a month yet.” And that automatically means you’re not goanna be one. But that just means, you know… You know what it implicates.
J: I know exactly because I was there and …
G: Yeah. You know how it works.
J: And, I came home and it was like sad.
G: It gave you a bad taste in your mouth.
J: The only reason it was sad, too, is because I haven’t done any modeling. I’ve only done a little bit and I feel bad. I’m like…
G: If someone wants to do the flats, fine. If someone wants to be a Playmate, fine. But, other than that I don’t do any of Playboy’s work. I don’t do any nude work. I don’t do any—nothing. I mean, all I do is big money commercials and where they want really sexy girls, that are it. When you see a sexy girl in a hot tub in a commercial or in a bar—that’s me.
J: When I went to the ranch and even to the birthday party, I do like how many sit-ups a day and work out…
G: You look great. I saw you. I mean…
J: And I was even as good then as when you saw me.
G: I saw everything with your little angel wings on.
J: I was even in better shape before. I was already kind of like was fat and …
G: I wouldn’t worry about it.
J: I mean I still was in fairly good shape, but…
G: Why didn’t you test while you were here?
J: Um…
G: You didn’t want to?
J: No, I don’t think I had a choice.
G: What do you mean?
J: I don’t know. I mean I wasn’t asked or anything.
G: You just have to do it.
J: Yeah.
G: You just have to go… I mean, what I do is I just get good photographers to shoot girls and if they have good pictures, I just get them to Marilyn and I say, “Listen, leave this girl alone. She is under my control.” And, then it’s taken professionally. It’s not… That’s the difference. If you go up there and try to be a Playmate and you’re stuck.
J: Right. I just can’t do that.
G: No of course not.
J: So…
G: I don’t blame you. So, you know that’s the right way to be.
J: Well, I sure appreciate it. I e-mailed you a couple of pictures from a shoot I did last week.
G: I mean I’ll help you out. No problem.
J: And I’ll take care of you. Not sexually though. I can give you money.
G: I didn’t expect that.
J: For all of your time or anything.
G: I don’t do that. That’s why I’m sitting in this office. I don’t go out or date any of my models. Well, I can’t say that. I have, a few, but…not many of them.
J: Some girls are ….you know, I mean, if it’s not a trade thing, it’s different.
G: Never that. It’s a mutual thing.
J: If you like them it’s different. It’s just…
G: Exactly, it’s a mutual thing, but it’s a rarity.
J: Yeah.
G: So, let me know what you want to do.
J: Okay, I appreciate it so much.
G: I can put you in a flat in one second. You have probably done the flats already.
J: Did you ever go to my Playboy site?
G: No.
J: On that card I sent you, if you type that whole long gigantic address in, it shows all the pictures from that one day shoot.
G: The shot that you sent me looked like it was from the flats, it looked like a Playboy photographer shot it.
J: Right. It is.
G: So, you didn’t do the flats?
J: I don’t know what a flat is. I’m sorry.
G: Flats are the newsstand specials.
J: No.
G: Like, we have an issue out.
J: Is it an exclusive pictorial?
G: We have an issue out right now called Voluptuous Vixens, which is perfect for you.
J: Yeah. I would love to do any of that.
G: You can do it.
J: That would be awesome.
G: Well, if you send me some Xerox copies, I’ll send some down to Marilyn and then Ill send some over to Kevin—not Kevin, but, Jeff Cohen in Chicago is the one that picks and he lets me put in any girl I want.
J: Okay.
G: So, send some of those to me. Let me know next time you’re coming out, and we will go from there.
J: Thank you so much. Have a great day.

Chapter Twenty Eight
Moving to Los Angeles and
Party at the Mansion for New Years Eve.

Since he told me if I didn’t get to L.A., he would come to Arizona and pack me up himself; we decided to buy a motor home to fulfill my crazy dream. The manufacturer told us it would be ready before Thanksgiving. Of course, it wasn’t, and I informed Gordon that I would be living in L.A. as soon as it was ready. After numerous delays with the motor home I decided to fly with my dog and announce to Gordon that I was living in L.A. I moved into a hotel call the Sofitel about two miles from his office. This was December. I had a terrible first day. Either I had the flu or food poisoning. I started feeling really ill when I got off the plane, and by the time I checked into my room I was sick the rest of the day and into the night. I walked across the street to get some kind of medicine. I got the attention of the pharmacist and as soon as he walked over to me I vomited all over the floor and they rushed me into the bathroom so that I could finish. I called Bruce from the restroom lying on the floor, feeling so low, lonely, embarrassed, and scared. Thank God, for my dog, because she got me through the night.
I felt better the next day, got a cab and headed to Gordon’s office. I was in full Playboy regalia. It was a true Playboy office with the logo, receptionist, and security guard with the official Playboy pin. I waited in the lobby while the woman announced that I was there, surrounded by Playboy magazine and a gigantic 3-D Playboy logo on the wall. Gordon escorted me to his office.
He started the conversation by asking me about my personal life. I asked him if I looked the same, and he responded that I looked even better than he remembered. I had some other photos that he hadn’t seen and showed them to him. They were on a disk. He selected one that he liked best and needed twenty prints dropped off at his office the following day. He said they were very good but felt they were a little too “Playboy looking.” He wanted to book me on a variety of venues, and these pictures portrayed me only as a sexy blonde and he was going to need something more plain—he called it an acting shot. He gave me the numbers of three photographers he felt were excellent and showed me samples of their work. He felt the best of the three was a guy named Bill. After he showed me the other photos I agreed that I needed a more versatile portfolio and said I would call Bill.
I was very excited. I mean, this was L.A. Hollywood! He showed me many of the girls he was representing, and the walls were covered with photos, ads he had done, and many other projects he had been involved with. I started pointing out many of the girls that were current girlfriends of Hef. He represented more than half of his girlfriends.
Gordon gave me his contact numbers, told me to call him anytime and that we should get together for lunch or dinner since I didn’t know the area. I spent hours at a local Kinko’s shop getting the photo off a Mac disk, and then printed. I finally got to bed and had a courier drop the photos at his office the next day. I called him to make certain he had received them. The next day there was no call from Gordon. I assumed that with all his enthusiasm for me
I would be running around to lots of auditions right away. I decided to call him at one o’clock and mention dinner as the reason for my call.
“Hi. It’s Jill Ann. I just wanted to tell you that if you wanted to go to dinner tonight, I’m free.”
“Good thing you called,” he said. “What are you doing right now?”
“Nothing. Just waiting at the hotel in case you called to send me anywhere.”
“I’ve got a spot if you can get there between 3:00 and 4:00. They’re looking for Playboy-type girls. Can you come across as beautiful but mean and willing to pretend to be fighting in a bathing suit?”
Of course I could. He told me to wear a bathing suit under my clothes and get out there. He started naming off many of the gigs that he had placed girls: Levi ads, Cutty Shark, Miller Lite, Stuff, Maxim. The list went on and on. He told me that the girl on cover of Playboy a month or so ago, Jordan, was his placement. He contracted that deal, and he brought her to Playboy. He also told me that he brought Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra in. To hear this was incredible. The dreamer in me believed every word and thought this guy was my ticket.
After I did my hair and makeup I grabbed a cab for Santa Monica. It was a Miller Lite commercial. I auditioned and was very nervous. They asked me to do a somersault, but I got dizzy and couldn’t sit up for a few seconds. I think that was the nail in my coffin, but that was the first audition for a commercial
I had ever done and I was pretty excited about it. There were a lot of girls there, and most of them were from Gordon Rael’s agency. I spoke to another girl, not from Gordon’s agency but had been many years ago, who told me she had already been on two commercial tests that morning. I figured I had better rent a car if I was going to do a lot of running around. I was reluctant because I didn’t know my way around L.A., but seeing so many girls of Gordon’s agency gave me great hope.
I called Gordon later that day to thank him for sending me on the audition. We set up lunch for Saturday.
He said, “I told you I was legitimate.”
“Yes, you are. I’m so relieved. Thanks for saying so many nice things about me. I’d pretty much given up on the whole modeling thing after the Playboy mansion deal. Thanks for representing me.”
“So are you going to move out here, then?”
I told him, “I’ve already moved. Don’t worry about me staying at a hotel. Just consider me here and ready to work. I’ll be parking the motor home in Malibu which is situated close to anywhere I need to go.”
“Aren’t you afraid to drive a motor home?”
“Oh, I won’t be driving it. Bruce will.”
He wanted to know who Bruce was, and I told him he was my boyfriend, that he was moving with me and that I would be afraid to move to L.A. alone.
He then said he had a million things to do and hung up.
I asked if he had heard who got the commercial and he informed me two of his girls had. The commercial was one of Miller Lite’s most famous commercials. Pamela Anderson was in the same type of commercial doing a pillow fight. He did have the connections, and I was excited to get started. He told me that he had looked over me completely at the Playboy Mansion party and there was not one flaw on me except my nose. He said just try to keep your chin up, and it won’t even be a problem you are perfect. I looked in the mirror and started looking at my nose. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with my nose. Know that he had brought it up I began to look at it but still didn’t think much of it.
I called up an acquaintance of mine who was living in Arizona but had moved to LA recently, “Kim,” and told her I was in LA. We made a plan to get together and go out the next day. She wanted to see my pictures and hear about my adventures. Kim and I got together and visited for hours in my hotel room. She had gotten to meet Hugh Hefner at Glamourcon recently. She was going to the mansion the upcoming Saturday for a private event, and she was really excited. After seeing my pictures of me out with Hef and his girlfriends, she got enthused when she saw an ethnic girl among them. She thought he only liked blondes. The girl was Melissa. She told me she wanted to be a girlfriend and go out in the limo and do all the fun things. I felt I had to warn her about what really goes on because she needed to know. She didn’t care. I told her they don’t use protection. She didn’t care about that either. She loved Playboy and everything about it. I suggested that she give him her number when she went Saturday. She said she already had at Glamourcon. I offered to go with her to the bar that Hef frequented, and she could talk to him there. That got her attention and she wanted to include me in her evening plans, and we could hit Hef’s bar afterward.
She was so excited and then said she was supposed to go on a date with this guy that night and wondered if she should cancel. She offered that I could come along as he had a brother who lived with him. I told her that I had a boyfriend. She assured me it wouldn’t be a date. They had a million-dollar house right off Sunset Boulevard and a Lamborghini, a Mercedes SUV, and a BMW! She said the house was incredible and not to worry; we could just visit a while and get a free meal. She was starving and as soon as she ate we would leave to find Hef. I thought it would be fun, and I really did want to see the house and cars. She picked me up at the hotel, and we drove to the brothers’ house. I was expecting the brothers to be Asian and dorky. They were dorky but white. I had my dog with me, and as I walked in I started laughing. They wanted to know what was funny, and I told them my misconception.
The house was beautiful with what seemed to be miles of white marble flooring but minimal furniture. I had taken my dog outside. A large pool was situated so that you could see passersby. One of the brothers came out and suddenly said as he looked at the street, “That’s Tobey—Spider Man.” He was passing by in his car.
Being star struck I was excited. He said that Britney Spears lived two streets up, and Leo DeCaprio lived on such and such a street and pointed towards the distance. He then told me he had his nails done at a place nearby and that Britney Spears had walked in. She observed he was getting “the works”: one person giving him a pedicure, another giving him a manicure, and a third giving him a massage. I told him I wanted to know where the nail place was so I could go there. We finally headed out. They offered me some sort of drink. I told them I only drank Malibu and rum and asked if they had a Diet Coke. They said no so I took what they offered but didn’t drink it. I got to ride in the Lamborghini —the door opened straight up which was really neat. The dog’s bag wouldn’t fit so they put my dog and her bag in the Mercedes. Of course, Kim and I took pictures of us in front of the Lamborghini. We went a short distance with him complaining about how the car only got eight miles to the gallon and he didn’t drive it often. The ride was exciting. I had never been in one before.
We went through a back entrance to get into a very exclusive club. When we got to the security area, they recognized the boys and were excited to see them. They let us in right away. When we were seated we ordered one round of drinks and tried to order food, but the waitress told us it was too late for food. Kim did not look happy. I didn’t really care because I didn’t want to owe anyone for food. I even offered to pay for my drink when it came. The guy that I was with never came back to the table. He was gone pretty much the entire time. When I excused myself to go to the restroom I saw him with a girl up against the wall talking to her. When I came out she was handing him her phone number. I felt like I was a goldfish swimming with sharks! After a while he returned to the table and told me that the encounter was just business. They were in an internet business. It sounded like a pyramid scheme to me. I just smiled—I didn’t really care. We didn’t even get to order a second drink when they asked for the check. They let us know we were going back to their house.
This time my dog was in her travel case—luckily, or I would have been a nervous wreck. I didn’t know Kim that well, and I didn’t know where I was—what if they stole my dog? Holdem was my baby! I had been back at the guys’ house about twenty minutes before Kim returned. She said something about getting lost. She told me she was going to go freshen up. She acted as though she was looking for my approval so I said okay. I and another couple there watched TV. An hour passed without a word between the one brother and me. Kim was still freshening up I guess, since she had not returned. The couple asked me a few general questions. They told me my “date” (not really, but the brother I was hanging out with) was completely afraid of little dogs, and they couldn’t believe he was being so cool. He smiled and I apologized. I had no idea so I put her in her bag. He then left the room for what seemed a very long time.
I finally decided that it was time I left. I knocked on the door to tell the brother that I was going to call a cab and head home. I had to look fresh for my agent the next morning. He went to get me the number of a cab company, and I knocked on the bedroom door behind which Kim and her date had gone, to tell her I was leaving. She wanted to know how I was getting home. I told her I was taking a cab. She came out and talked the brother into taking me. We took the Mercedes SUV, and he pointed out where Britney Spears gets her nails done.
I wasn’t happy with Kim. She pretty well ditched me as far as I was concerned. However, she did take the time to throw a fit that I was taking a cab and got the guy to drive me the two miles back to my hotel. Being a liberal girl, I wasn’t surprised how the whole night went. To top it off, Bruce was hopping mad about me going on a “double date.” I knew I would never hear the end of it. I explained to him that before going with Kim I had told him all about what she had told me about the house, the cars, and he had said I could go, but I really shouldn’t have gone. As it turned out the evening was a disaster. We never even made it to the bar that Hef frequented, which was Kim’s big focus. She called me the following day and was still at the guys’ house. She was getting ready to go to the Playboy mansion for the Private event.
Saturday I called Gordon to find out what time we were meeting for lunch. He told me that his plans had changed. He had a large job, and it was urgent. We decided to reschedule. I had planned to meet with the photographer on Sunday, and we did the shoot. The guy was a little stressed out which ultimately led to a huge argument between him and the makeup artist. She finally redid the makeup and was about to cuss out the photographer, but I put my finger to my lips. “Don’t go there.” I didn’t want the tension between the two of them to influence how my pictures came out! Because the shoot took twice as long as normal I had to change my return flight reservations. He shot all the photos digitally and kept running to his computer to look at them. He thought they were great. The makeup gal and I became friends, and we emailed for awhile. She actually did my makeup for the New Year’s Eve party at the Playboy mansion.
I let Gordon know that I was going back to Arizona for a few days to get more clothes. He said that he didn’t want to send me out on any more auditions until we got the pictures back and printed from the photographer because he wanted them to be the best and the ones he had just weren’t good enough. I told him I would stay until the photographer got them back and we could print them. He agreed and said that with the holidays no one was doing much work. It would probably be after the first of the year. That worked for me because I wanted to spend Christmas in Arizona. From our conversation, I got the impression that he didn’t care when or if I came back.
My associations with Gordon and the photographer went downhill over the course of the next several weeks. Getting him the photos turned out to be very difficult, and finally the photographer wouldn’t return my calls. How hard would it have been for the photographer to get the disk of my photos to Gordon or me? I was really upset. I talked Bruce into heading to LA so that
I could get this completed. We drove to the photographer’s real job at some back alley place, got the disk and drove it to Gordon’s office. Gordon didn’t like the pictures and gave me two more names to contact. I wasn’t happy. My career was on hold, and I was unable to do anything to further it. I was really getting frustrated. I let him have it. If he didn’t feel I had what it took, then I wanted to know it and stop fooling around wasting my time. He reassured me, telling me that I did have what it took—he just didn’t realize I was so serious about being a model or he wouldn’t have suggested that particular individual and gave me two other numbers. I apologized for overreacting and told him that I had a lot of problems in California and that I wanted to get all of my feelings out on the table. I got in touch with one of the photographers’ names he’d given me.
It was at least a studio even though he lived at the studio. The last photographer we shot it in his apartment with moving the kitchen table out of the way. This photographer used film instead of digital. I had to pay for a makeup artist/hairstylist, a stylist for my wardrobe, and the photographer, but it wasn’t much more than the last shoot. The makeup artist started talking with me, and this whole experience with Gordon came out. She wondered about how I had decided to use this particular photographer. I told her Gordon Rael had recommended him after the first one didn’t do them well enough. She filled me in on some other agents and how they operated.
I asked her if she knew anything about Gordon. She told me he was just as bad and that she had heard it from a variety of girls. The rumor in L.A. was that Gordon apparently got kickbacks from photographers that he recommends. I was furious. My hands shook, and I know my face got very red. I felt used and lied to. I almost walked off the shoot because I didn’t want to waste any more money then I already had. I decided to calm down and just have fun. Just enjoy yourself, I told myself and do the pictures for yourself. I did feel like a model. I had really found a remarkable makeup artist and my face turned from sad to sexy in the matter of minutes. She had magical hands and completely transformed me. I felt alive, beautiful and ready to rock and roll.
She started telling me about some sleaze ball that was not happy with her and started to fill me in a little bit about how shady the guy was. “He takes in young new naive models, persuades them to signing a long-term contract taking a much larger percentage than what other managers or agents do for jobs. Then he tries to control their every move through intimidation and manipulation. The norm is 10 to 20 percent and a one-year contract. Suddenly the guy walked in and she motioned and turned around to where he couldn’t see us and she said “That’s him.” Of course he came over and said hi to both of us. He wanted to know if I was represented by anyone and I said no. He said he wanted to give me his number so that we could talk. Not shortly after that he realized Bruce sitting on a nearby coach going through magazines as he was killing time for me to get finished to start the shoot. Later Bruce informed me that he had asked him “Do you party” and then he motioned with his head and eyes to where I was changing in the dressing area. As Bruce described it Do we swing was more what he meant. Bruce told him no.
His name was Dove and he had a contract with Tina Jordan and was submitting her pictures to Maxim and was there to look at the slides and pictures that they had taken a few days prior. Because Tina Jordan was one of Hef’s number-one girls made me feel a little to close for comfort.
The photographer found out about me working with Playboy and said that he had done three shoots for his number-one girl right now, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door Madison. He said he had to do one because she had her nose done and then she had it done again so they did another full shoot. He informed me that she had talked to Hef while she was doing the shoot, that Hef had called her on her cell and she had informed him where she was and what she was doing and they were kissy kissy on the phone.
The makeup artist continued to give me advice about the modeling world in L.A. She told me to never, ever go anywhere without Bruce. There were lots of agencies, and if he came with me they would know it was strictly for business. Not only had I found a new friend, but she was a magician at the same time. It was the best makeup job I had ever had done. Since this was I think my second shoot ever in my life I had no idea what to do. She even helped me with this. She just came right on the set and grabbed my neck, smacked my butt into place and said “like this” If it wasn’t for her the shoot would have not been half as good.
The photos came out very well and about a week later I needed to contact Gordon because he was the one, he told me, who decided which ones would go on my Zed card. That is a group of photos showing different looks and styles to highlight your modeling range. I headed into Gordon Rael’s office and left Bruce in the car with the dog. The secretary announced me and after about half an hour she called him to remind him I was still waiting. He appeared after about another forty-five minutes.
He was talking about ninety miles an hour and could hardly stand. At one point he asked my opinion of a particular photo. I told him he was the professional, and I would go with whatever he selected. As he moved over to have me look at the picture he nearly fell over, and I wound up holding onto him until he got back upright. While I was there many phone calls were patched through—some he took, some he didn’t. He stumbled from the photo display area to his desk and back. He started talking about many of his favorite things: caviar, very expensive wines, and many delicacies of which I had never heard.
I thanked him and left to get the photos he picked made into four by sixes. Once they were printed I took them to a place called Bunker that Gordon had referred me to for the Zed card. At the shop where I stopped to have the 8 x 10 headshot done, I found dozens of pictures of Playmates and current girlfriends. Bruce suggested I have one printed like theirs. I ordered one hundred of them. It was a picture that Playboy had taken of me for the shoot that was fully clothed with me holding cards. We had downloaded the picture from the internet. It read: “Jill Ann Spaulding 2002 Playboy’s Queen of Hearts.” On the Playboy site it said at the top of my pictorial Queen of Hearts so this is where I had gotten this from. They put the little Playboy logo and listed Gordon’s phone number for booking information on the picture. The same day they were printed, I went up and down Melrose Street autographing them and gave them too many stores that had pictures posted. I was just having fun, being spontaneous. I was so happy. I felt like a princess. I still had not been called to any interviews or casting calls and nothing from Gordon.

I ended up going to the Playboy New Years Eve party. It was actually not very exciting and I forgot how great it was to have someone to kiss at the stroke of midnight.

Chapter Twenty Nine
Breaking the inner circle

Kim, whom I had forgiven, Bruce, and I went shopping on Melrose quite a few times, and she never gave up on her insistence to meet Hef. I relented, and we booked a table for three at his favorite spot, a very hot A-list club. We arrived before Hef and his usual bevy of beauties did. Kim had left her car at our hotel, and Bruce and I drove her in ours. After we ordered our meal, I saw Hef arrive.
“Okay, there he is. Head on back.”
She couldn’t get up the nerve and came back begging me to go with her. I agreed. We headed into the ladies room for a moment. Coming back out, I spoke to one of the bodyguards.
I said, “I called and spoke to Marilyn Grabowsi, telling her that I was going to bring a friend to introduce to Hef.” This was the truth, I did call and spoke to Marilyn and asked them which club Hef was going to be at that night and told her I wanted to introduce Hef to one of my girlfriends.
“I wasn’t informed,” he said. “It would be better if you come back when he’s on the dance floor. He’ll come over and talk much easier if he’s already up.”
I thanked him, and we headed back to our table. About ten minutes later, we tried again. Bruce had told me that if I got in to just stay and enjoy myself. Many of the girlfriends came over to me and gave me hugs saying they were excited to see me. In reality, they were blocking Hef’s ability to see who wanted to get his attention. I figured this out right away. They wondered what I wanted. I told them my friend was in love with Playboy and just was afraid to come to Hef and introduce herself. They could tell we weren’t leaving and made their way back to the dance floor.
Hef came over and acted pleased to see me and held Kim’s hand. She had an intense letter in her hand that said she wanted to be a Playmate and make love with him. He didn’t look at it, but slipped it into his front pocket. He wrote Kim’s number on a pad of paper that already had another girl’s name above it. Maybe he was collecting numbers. She asked him if we could come in, and he shook his head no. Then he went back to dancing with his girlfriends without another word.
Kim turned to me looking so disappointed. “Do something.”
“Are you sure you want me to?” I asked. She nodded.
I tapped the bodyguard on the shoulder. Pointing to Kim I said, “She wants to have sex with him. Can you tell him that?” He smiled and walked over to Hef. Kim was standing slightly behind me.
Hef came over to me and asked, “What do you need?”
“She wants to have sex with you.”
Without a word he lifted the rope and in we went. We started dancing. The girls realized we had broken the barrier and asked us if we wanted something to drink. We ordered. The club lights were pulsating, and as usual, the girls were dressed in clothing that made them the stars of the club.
We weren’t there long when Hef spoke to Kim. “You can come home with us, but your friend can’t.”
She told me what he said, and I felt very uncomfortable being there.
She asked, “Why does he have something against you?”
“I didn’t sleep with him.” She gave me a sad look, hugged me and thanked me for getting her into the circle.
“You got yourself in.”
I didn’t stay that long. Bruce had already come over and taken pictures of Kim and me dancing. There were no happy vibes coming from the girls. One girl, just like Kelly, had attached herself to Kim telling her she would take care of her. Kim didn’t seem to be so afraid anymore and didn’t seem to need me. I sneaked out and went back to the table with Bruce. We ate in silence for a while.
Bruce said, “You should have stayed.”
I shook my head. “No. They really didn’t want me there.”
A few minutes later Hef’s main friend came over and not realizing the entire set up at first he said to Bruce, “Hi, I’m Ron Smith.”
Bruce had glasses on at the time and shook his hand. He just responded “hi.”
Ron bent down and said that he had this doctor friend that he will get him 50 percent off Lasik procedure. Whipping out his card he asked for Bruce’s full name. Bruce not thinking much of it gave him his full name and Ron Smith handed us his personal card. After he walked away we sat there for a moment thinking of the strange conversation that we just had and how he never gave a number of any doctors to contact. In fact he just wanted Bruce’s full name. Whatever he was going to do with it we really didn’t care. His card read Ron Smith Productions New York, Chicago, London, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas. This is the same guy that Gordon Rael had mentioned as one of Hef’s cronies.
I did decide to go back and bring my dog to show the girls. The bodyguards were upset because I had gotten through the side, and they didn’t see the dog. Hef was suddenly pissed and started yelling at the bodyguards for not noticing me sneaking in through the back. I guess he felt his safety had been jeopardized. He wasn’t happy that they were looking the wrong way at that moment. I had gotten in to the inter circle without their knowledge. They were all getting ready to leave. Kim hugged me, and I went back to Bruce. We watched as the group left the club and into the limo I knew was waiting. Kim waved on the way out.
The following day at about ten in the morning we heard a knock on the door of our hotel room at the Sofitel. It was Kim. She came into the room and started telling us what had gone on. She said they all took turns giving him a blow job and while Hef was having sex with one of the girls, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door was shoving her finger up his ass. I offered an “I told you so,” but she said that until she had seen it for herself she couldn’t have believed it. She had not slept with him, but she watched. She told me that she ended up staying in Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door’s room afterwards, and they ordered room service and talked all night. She explained having to wear the pink pajamas, having to take the bath prior and Hef taking a picture of her in the bathtub. Kim told us she hadn’t slept the entire night and needed to eat. She was exhausted but said that she had the best time and she really wanted to be a girlfriend. We walked down to the valet so she could get her car and took her out to eat so we could hear more gossip.
The following week Hef himself called Kim asking her to go out with him and his girlfriends and to be at the mansion at 10:00 p.m. She was so excited. I couldn’t believe Hef had called her himself and thought that pretty cool. Kim called me the next day to tell me all about it. She had arrived at the mansion a little ahead of schedule, dressed and ready to go. The same things happened that night, except at the very first bar one of the girlfriends had ordered shots and Kim drank a lot of them. She became so sick that the bodyguards had to take her back to the mansion. She threw up in the car on the way. The rest of the group went on without her and returned to the mansion later in the evening. She thought she had alcohol poisoning. I asked her if she had slept with him and she told me she hadn’t because she couldn’t even hold her head up. I wondered if she had gone up to watch and she said no. She was upset. She felt that she had completely ruined her chances of being a girlfriend after what had happened. I told her she was crazy. Hef wouldn’t be mad at her; she hadn’t messed up her chances. She was nearly hysterical. I talked to her a long time to try to calm her down. I told her that the same gal had tried to get me to drink shots when I was there. I just took them and sipped them, like I was drinking them and then discarded them so that the waitress would pick up the glass so I wouldn’t get sick. I told her that I didn’t trust the girls and that maybe they would purposely put something in her drink. She was so sick she didn’t leave her house for days. I kept calling to check on her, but she didn’t want to go out or do anything she felt so ill. When she explained me the array that she had to drink I told her to never mix alcohol. If she planned on drinking she should stick with the same drink all night.
Hef finally contacted her and invited her to go out with him and his girlfriends and told her not to drink so much. She was elated to get a second chance. I told her that since she hadn’t slept with him, he wasn’t going to give up that easily. She met up with the group at the appointed hour, and they all did the photo prior to going out. The same thing happened this night that had happened all the other nights, but this time Kim finally did sleep with him.
She stayed up most of the night talking to Julie and a few of the other girls. Julie was a new official girlfriend that was not there at the time I was upstairs. She felt that since she had finally slept with him that she and the girls shared an instant bond and seemed to feel a little more at ease with them after this.
Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door told her that the group had preset plans and that they would contact her the following week.

* * * * *

January 19, 2003: I had heard that the Golden Globes were at the
Beverly Hills Hotel so I asked Bruce to head down there with me so I could somehow get in. It was a spur of the moment thing, and Bruce dropped me off and I told him I would meet him down the street by the Starbucks when I was done. I walked up and tried to pretend I was on the In-Style List. They didn’t fall for it. There were many different lines and different parties and different lists. I stood there feeling a little stupid as movie stars started leaving from this same entrance. I moved to the side to watch the excitement. I wasn’t there ten minutes until I saw Hef and his entire group of girlfriends coming out. The girlfriends saw me and didn’t acknowledge me. I decided to say hello to Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door who was in the back of the line. Hef came out holding Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door’s hand; everyone was accompanied by bodyguards and hopped into the huge SUV limo. Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door said hi to me and quickly entered the limo. I was excited. I figured that the more they saw me at important events that it would promote me in their view. I walked back to where Bruce was parked, and we returned to the hotel. I called Kim and told her the not good news that Sherrie was there with Hef. Sherrie was a blonde who was not a girlfriend yet but had starting seeing Hef about the same time Kim had. Sherrie’s first time sleeping with Hef was supposedly the same night Kim did, but she was there and Kim wasn’t. Kim wasn’t happy about that. I told her it must be just the blonde thing. We discussed the advisability of dying her hair blonde. She was upset and didn’t understand why she was not invited. I decided to research Sherrie. I went to her personal website and on her bio page. It had this written, “One particular goal I am currently working on is becoming a Playboy Playmate that is my ultimate dream come true!!” The worst thing is when I went to the site it just brought back all of my memories of what I had gone through, but Kim had decided to take the next step. She had not walked down those stairs, out of that mansion. She was there trying to fulfill her dream.
Kim decided to call up the mansion and asked to speak to Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door. She was trying to win Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door over and try to have her on her best side. She was asking her advice on anything she suggested she should do to fit in.
Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door flat out said to her “You know, I don’t appreciate sharing my boyfriend with other women, and I am not going to give you pointers.” Then she hung up

Chapter Thirty
Playboy Super Bowl Party San Diego

January 23, 2003: That weekend, having a connection with Jennifer Lewandowski in Chicago, I had an invitation for the San Diego Super Bowl party for Playboy for one female. Of course “female” did not mean Bruce Gifford my boyfriend. Once I got my invitation, I decided to order tickets for Bruce online for $1,000 and used my 25 percent Playboy model discount. We ended up in San Diego for the big Playboy party. Kim had not gotten an invitation so she was pretty upset. I told her it was probably because it was such short notice and that he had already purchased a certain number of seats. Just to get into the party was a staggering hour or more wait. I bluffed my way in using my Playboy card, and me, Bruce, and two other gals that I had hung out at the Playboy Mansion parties all got in without waiting.
The party was held at The House of Hospitality in Balboa Park. It was reported that getting a ticket to attend Playboy’s annual Super Saturday Night bash is even harder than getting into the game itself; Stars in attendance that night included Ashton Kutcher, Brittany Murphy, Carmen Electra, Tom Arnold and more.
One person I noticed in the Hef group at the party was again Sherrie. I got to meet Tara Reid for the first time and get a picture with her. I also met Carmen Electra and Tom Arnold and got photos with both of them. Carmen was so tiny I couldn’t believe it. Because I had my Playboy Jill Ann business card I was able to bluff my way to getting into the Playboy VIP section, and this was where all the stars hung out. Queen Latifah was there and said she doesn’t allow photos taken after midnight because by then she has been partying for a while and doesn’t like to have her picture taken after midnight because she is usually extremely smashed by that time and isn’t looking good. She was very nice, and she has a terrific smile. She invited us to sit with her and her group for a while. My poodle, Holdem, ran up to sit on her lap, and she seemed to love it. Carmen and Tara all took pictures with the dog and me.
I couldn’t get Bruce into the VIP room, much less into the party, but I had thought of a way around the problem. To get in, party-goers had to wear an illuminating 50 Playboy necklace. There was an outside terrace to the VIP area. I told Bruce my plans to have him wait on the other side and I would drop him the necklace—it worked perfectly (just a little ingenuity!).
The party was very crowded, and if you weren’t in the VIP room you were not having that great a time. With a ratio of 1 girl to 100 guys, talk about testosterone! For any guy who had paid $1,000 to get in there, basically there wasn’t anyone to meet or look at. I felt badly about everyone who had paid so much to get into the regular party. In the VIP party, there were about ten Playmates and they were very nice to me since they were used to seeing my face at every event. We bid on a charity auction for two tickets to a Playboy party in New Orleans for two for $1005 and won. Bruce was included! It read “Silent Auction Prize Certificate. VIP Access for two to Playboy’s Mardi Gras Party Balcony at Club 735; Access to Playboy’s Balcony and VIP area at Club 735 from Friday February 28 to Sunday March 2, 2003.” I never spoke to any of the girlfriends or Hef that night. I just made sure that they had seen me.

Chapter Thirty One
Playboy Party Mardi Gra New Orleans

Having purchased tickets to the Playboy Balcony party in New Orleans was going to be a great time. Especially since I didn’t have to beg to get Bruce in and the money had gone to a charity so all was good. Using my frequent flyer miles I got free tickets to fly to New Orleans. The date was Friday, February 28, through March 2, 2003.
Having connections at Harrah’s we found that there was a Harrah’s casino nearby, and they got us a great price on a hotel room for the days we were going to be there. The party did not start till the evening so we headed over to the casino to find out if they had a balcony we could go up on to. They did. They gave us tickets for the following day to go on the balcony at 12:00 P.M.
That night not being Mardi Gras, we headed down to the address of the Harrah’s Balcony and checked out the Playboy address as well. Noticing a handful of beautiful blondes throwing beads always gets my attention and as it looked like everyone else’s. Standing across on the other side of the road I thought damn those girls look familiar. I suddenly recognized Dove up on the balcony. The guy that we had met on the photo shoot in LA. He was accompanied by Tina Jordan, Michele Rogers, Christie Shake, and a few other Playmates and cute girls. He was excited to see me and waved for us to come up. So we did. Almost immediately we were on the balcony of his private party that he had been paid to bring Playmates and hotties to. Ninety-eight percent of the girls were still under Playboy’s two-year contract that they were not allowed to show nudity till the two years had ended. The girls were glad to see me because the crowd had started to get wild and angry throwing beads back because the girls not were flashing. The crowd was screaming that they were a bunch of teases etc. Christie Shake looked at me and said, “Please tell me you’re going to flash.”
I said, “Not if you don’t.” She said, “I will if you do.” I agreed that that was fair. So at the count of three we both flashed the crowd. She had shown me how she would turn her head to make sure that no one could take a picture of her nude showing her face. I thought that was very smart. She was so much fun including doing full mooning off the balcony.
Tina Jordan said there was no way and that if her boyfriend found out he would kill her. The other girls were under their two- year contract as well so it was me and Christie to pull them out of the hot water. Even though Christie was under her two-year contract she was a party girl and a lot of fun. She was wearing a necklace with a penis hanging off of it, and so was Tina Jordan. Every time a guy would ask them to flash they would hold up the penis and say “you first.” I don’t think I ever seen that many real penises in my life. The guys were crazy and showing and all the girls on the balcony were having a great time. We were laughing so hysterically.
They had paid bodyguards out on the balcony with us and they started complaining that they didn’t want to see any more of that kind of skin. Tina had so many guys show it was amazing, and she still never flashed. We would wait about 20 minutes between flashing but stayed out on the balcony. Finally the police came up the stairs and said that we were completely blocking the street and that we were causing problems. They said that they asked if we would step away from the balcony on an every 10 to 20 minute basis till the crowd dispersed. They were totally cool about it and thanked us and went on their way.
Dove gave me a great big hug, and said he was glad to see me and thanked me so much for flashing. He shook Bruce’s hand and welcomed him to the party. He said afterwards they were having an additional party downstairs and was wondering if I would join. I agreed. He informed me that he had just signed “Angelica Bridges” and she would be showing up later that night as well. I had gotten my first taste of Mardi Gras and was having the best dang time. I already knew Tina and Michele from the mansion and had seen Christie and followed some of her career. She admitted to me that she was pregnant and that was why she was wearing stretch pants. That is why she was mooning because her butt was still perfect. I congratulated her and asked her if she was going to stop modeling. She said only for a small amount of time. We were all having a great time and I was laughing so hard that I was in tears. Upstairs was the VIP party for his paid guests and the drinks were free.
After we danced and did some other teasing to the crowd we were told it was time for all of us to appear on stage downstairs. All of us went downstairs and got on stage. A new bodyguard had come on duty and didn’t recognize Bruce. He shoved Bruce about a foot when Bruce tried to follow us. He thought Bruce was a stalking fan and was trying to do his job. I screamed “He is with me” and the bodyguard backed off. Bruce gave him that look like “Damn right and back off man” when we were upstairs
Dove had invited Bruce and me to dinner with all the girls. We were excited but when it came down to it they blew us off making excuses that they weren’t going to go to dinner after all (which I found out later that they had). We were both exhausted and would have probably bought dinner for all of them anyway, so “ha ha on them.” I guess since I was not an official Playmate I just still didn’t make the dinner cut!
The following day we heading to the Harrah’s booth that was filled with great food and a full bar. A ton of not young people up on the roof made it even a better time. It was like a group of people my mom’s age and my grandma’s and they all were in love with me. Okay, let me rephrase that. I was flashing and getting these great beads and so they loved me. I was giving them to everyone upstairs. Finally it became so crazy that I had so many beads that I began to get picky. I wouldn’t flash for just any beads. I would start to pick the necklace that I wanted. I would make them throw them up first and then flash. This was sort of a struggle because the guys were worried I would just take the beads and not flash I guess.
The craziest thing was this lady’s husband that was up on the balcony and decided he would go down on the street and bargain for the beads. It was the funniest thing I ever saw. I was standing up on top and the women’s husband would start going through guys large sets of beads till I screamed which one that I wanted. The guy would take off the necklace and handed it to my new business partner. I would then flash, and he would walk the beads back up to me! It was so much fun and the husband’s wife was not upset at all. She started picking out beads she wanted and I would flash for her to get the beads she wanted. Of course I was drinking and having a great time. I had to go back to my hotel room to drop off the mounds of beads.
Tonight was the night of the Playboy party. We were so excited because we had seen pictures on the website of the year’s prior party. Teri Harrison was there which one of my favorite Playmates of all was. I had met her at the Playboy Golf Parties and she was a knock-out, one of the most beautiful of all Playmates. She also worked on the Price is Right, the same show that Gordon Rael said he was for sure going to get me! What a small world. A total of four Playboy girls were there: Brittany Evans, Cyber Girl October 2002; Merritt Cabal, Cyber Girl, June 2002; and two Playmates Teri Harrison, Miss October 2002, and Lindsey Vuolo, Miss November 2001. They made their grand entrance, and all of us were so excited.
Recognizing some of the people that were part of the production I thought for sure that I would be taken care of. Chad Doering, the guy who had picked me for the shoot in Chicago had arrived and I was so glad to see him. Knowing he would know that I was an official Playboy girl, and heck, I had sent him all kinds of gifts; I figured he would be so nice to me. I told him that I had made a bid at the Super Bowl for Mardi Gras at Playboy. I found him cold and non-responsive. I was smiling and saying “Hi Chad Doering.” He seemed to try and ignore me as if he did not see me. I finally got his attention. I asked if I could go out on the balcony with the other girls. He said it wasn’t his call.
Looking around the room I noticed there were only 3 other girls and about 400 guys. I felt sorry for these guys that had paid a lot of money to get in and especially for my guy that had paid $1000 to get in.
We were told there was going to be alcohol but found out that it only lasted an hour and it was only Miller Lite. There was nothing to eat. It was time for the girls to go out on the balcony to do their show. What was to happen to the crowd? It was unbelievable. They closed all the curtains and none of us inside could see a damn thing. I was like what the heck. Everyone seemed to be fine about it but me. I came there for Bruce to see some naked girls like they showed in the pictures. The guys having nothing to do started to drink more and more.
As soon as the show would end the Playboy bunnies would be escorted back into their VIP area where none of the regular crowd was to go and then the balcony would be opened again for the general public. Our passes said VIP passes. I was informed that it didn’t mean anything.
A guy who said he was one of the head promoters for Miller Lite was there and asked why I wasn’t out on the stage with the other girls. I pointed to the girl that Chad had says was in charge. I explained she had told me that it was only the four girls that were hired for the event allowed out on the balcony. He said, “That’s fucking bullshit.” I just shrugged my shoulders and gave him a sad look. While the Playmates were hiding in their VIP area I spent much of the night posing with all the guys that were there. Picture after picture and a media crew arrived and interviewed me for their TV show. This was the only thing that finally got the girls to be out in the crowd. When they saw them interviewing me they stopped to be interviewed as well.
The girls were escorted back to the front for the next show for the crowd waiting down at the street. The guy that was with Miller Lite said, “You are going to go out on that balcony.” He began to talk to one of the people in charge and explained to them who he was and that he wanted me out on the balcony. A few minutes later it was as if they had given him the okay for me to go out on the stage and he grabbed me by the waist and picked me up, barreling me across the guarded section prior to the entrance to the balcony. I was in line with the big crowd to head out on to the balcony. I wanted so much to go because of the adrenaline from earlier and how much fun I had I wanted to do it again. The Playboy girls were given tons of necklaces to throw at the crowd.
I was standing there in line when suddenly two bodyguards grabbed me and manhandled me and threw me to the other side of the railing, causing bruising as I hit the floor. The Miller Lite guy suddenly became absolutely belligerent and they threw him out of the party. Bruce was over in the corner so pissed off he couldn’t even speak. He was saying “Fuck Playboy, this fucking party is lame.”
All the girls went back out on the stage and the drapes were closed again so we could see nothing. I finally took Bruce and myself outside to be able to watch the damn show. They were nude up on the balcony and I had paid $1000 to get in and I was pissed. I heard one of the Cyber girls say, “She’s just a girl that shows up at all the parties but she is no one” I thought to say you were on the website as well—at least I did a celebrity shoot! I couldn’t believe how the girls were treating the guys at the party not even slowing down to talk to any of them or anything.
I went back up to the girl that was in charge and let her have it. I said, “You know this is bullshit. I had to go down to the street to watch the show. Do you think that is fair for all of these fans to have paid to get into a Playboy party and we haven’t even seen a breast?” I said, “I paid $1000 for what? To stand here entertaining everyone that you aren’t entertaining!”
She apologized and agreed that she hadn’t thought about it that way. She gave me one of the necklaces they were throwing off the balcony to console me. Which after talking to her I went back down to watch the next show on the balcony and the guy behind me caught one of the necklaces and I said can I have that and he just handed it to me without hesitation. What a gentleman.
I went back upstairs and with 500 guys and so much boredom I started to take pictures topless with many of the guys. I felt sorry for them they were at a Playboy event and hadn’t even seen a breast! Give me a break.
We left the party early because it was so stupid and still had a pass for two more nights. Not sleeping well because of the rudeness of everyone there, I tossed and turned on how awful I felt I was treated.
The following day we had talked Harrah into letting us go back up on the balcony even though you were only allowed one turn they said I was so much fun that they were going to put my name down again. We were excited because it was so much fun anyway. This day was different however. A new person was in charge of the floor. There were a few young girls up there and I figured we were going to have a really great time.
About twenty minutes into the event, three of us girls took off our tops and Bruce snapped the picture. The lady came out and said that if we flashed again that we would have to leave the balcony. Wow, what a drag! It sure wasn’t like the day before! So we ate all the food and didn’t flash. Taking the idea from the girls Tina Jordan and Christie Shake, I ran down to one of the gift shops and found a penis necklace. Hey, I wasn’t going to not have any fun. So I got a few of the other girls on the balcony the same necklace and sure enough boy did we see a lot of skin. We gave beads anytime someone showed! Hey, if we couldn’t show we were going to make other people show! The day turned out to not be so bad after all.
After the Harrah’s balcony we started walking “Bourbon Street” and out of the blue we ran into Smiley, the Playboy Photographer for the Playboy Golf events. He was a personal friend since we had spent many events together. He informed me that he had gotten the best gig in town and that he was going to be the official host of Oscar Pre-party. He said it was when all of them find out who has been nominated and that he needed someone sexy to work the door for him to lure the movie stars into the booth so we could get pictures of them. I said I would do it for sure. He asked what the heck I was doing down here and I told him about the Playboy balcony event. He said he would give anything to get into that party.
Not letting him know the half of it, I whipped out that night’s tickets and said, “You know what? You get me to the Oscar Pre-Party and here are the tickets for tonight’s Playboy Balcony party.” He was ecstatic. I told him that he had to get Bruce in as well and he said no problem. I asked him what the heck he was doing out here and he said he had been flown in to work for a company that films girls similar to “Girls Gone Wild.”
He said, “Come back to where I am staying.” We didn’t have a problem with that and followed him. He ended up having a pad right on Bourbon Street, but it was at the end where nothing was going on. He explained that if you went too far down the street you got into the gay section and that there were a lot of crazy things to see. Heading up to his place where he was staying there were boxes and boxes of beads that filled the entire floor. A bunch of other people were there, and they were smoking pot and asked if we wanted to join. We said we were fine. I told Smiley about the craziness of the night before and how they wouldn’t let me out on the balcony. He thought it sounded crazy that they would treat me that way. I told him about the show not being seen to the crowd!
I said, “Just don’t mention my name if you repeat this to anyone. I don’t want you to get any back lashing because of me.” He said he really didn’t care about seeing the girls; he just wanted everyone in Chicago to keep seeing his face at every event so they would know who he was and he would hopefully get better jobs and more recognized. I said that is the same way I was thinking. We didn’t stay long, and he showed some of the footage he had already gotten. He said, “You have no idea what these girls will do for beads!” He walked us back out to Bourbon Street and thanked us again for the Playboy Balcony party tickets. We actually felt relieved that we didn’t have to go. We headed to dinner.
The following day we slept in and went to our last night of the Playboy Balcony party. The atmosphere this night was much different, and I think the night off really helped. The show was still not able to be seen by the inside group, but this time they at least walked out from the stage topless and walked to the VIP room this way. I was excited to see that there was some improvement. They announced that they were going to have a “Meet the Playmates” in about twenty minutes. The girls came out of the VIP room and sat in big fluffy chairs and took pictures with many of the guests. Now this is what I was talking about. This is what I expected, and I think this is what many of the guys there had expected. Finally Teri Harrison did a naked dance off the balcony that was inside the area we were at. It was a perfect place because no one could bother her and yet she could have a great time dancing. She danced for about three minutes and then headed to the VIP lounge.
This time a different person was standing at the door of the VIP entrance. I flashed my badge, and Bruce flashed his and we were right in. No one else in the entire party had the kind of badge that we had except for a very small few. They just were not letting us in the first night because they were playing games with us.
Heading back, we sat down quickly amongst the VIP in attendance. We also realized that if we got up and there was someone else at the door we would probably not get back into this section. All the girls came into the VIP room after changing from their outfits they were wearing on the balcony. The two cyber girls came into the VIP room. It was fully stocked with Miller Lite in a big gigantic tank of ice. Pulling one out and brushing off the ice Bruce twisted off the lid and handed me a cold one. He then retrieved one for himself.
“AAAAAAAAH, now this was more like it.” He sighed.
There we were in the VIP room with the Playboy girls. However the Playboy girls were all cold fish to us, with the exception of Teri Harrison. She came off from dancing naked, and I asked if I could take a picture with her. She said “of course” Bruce said “Jill Ann, flash.” It was only fair since Teri was standing there topless. I lifted up my shirt and Teri grabbed my breast and cupped it with her hand. She opened her mouth like she was going to take a bite of it, and we both posed for the camera. She was exactly what I pictured a Playmate would be like. She didn’t put her top back on, and she was so slim, trim and fit. She was going around posing with everyone and making it a great experience. She later was just standing there with nothing but underwear on and she did not have one flaw. Blonde, beautiful, friendly, happy, she was the vision of the perfect women.
This night was much better, and we didn’t leave the VIP room, fearing that we would not get back in. The lady that was so upset with me two nights before saw us in the VIP room and suddenly stopped in her tracks. You could tell she wanted to say something but just decided to go on her way. I figured she was going up to tell the door guy “Don’t let those two back in.” Not but a few minutes later the door guy walked by with her and they both peered in to the VIP room. It could have been my imagination but I could draw the story in my mind. She then said she was just looking for someone. I figured that the word would get out through Chicago on the whole ordeal and that I would not be welcome to any other parties.
At that point I really didn’t care. I was just semi-disgusted with the whole attitude of the company. I figured they probably would make sure I wasn’t able to go to any more prearranged parties, but I didn’t let it bother me. I did however get to be the door girl at the Pre-Oscar party in LA and got to take home my very own gift basket that the stars got to take home! So it all worked out.

Chapter Thirty Two
Money from Hef

Hef personally called Kim again asking her to go out with him and his girlfriends. She was very excited and felt everything was going her way. The major problem was that because she had to call off her shifts at Victoria’s Secrets to go to the mansion, she no longer had a job. Her website had been completely set aside and the bi-monthly camera events she was supposed to do she hadn’t done in months. Her personal updates had been neglected, and her webmaster was very upset. She was now three months behind on her rent and more than that on her car payments. The vision of being able to move into the mansion rent-free and have Hef buy her a car was an obsession. Some of the girls had confided in her that they got around a $2,000/week allowance and this made her even more motivated than ever. Do the math—$104,000 a year . . . and don’t forget all the perks of free hairstyling, plastic surgery and clothing. Kim and I discussed her aspirations of being a girlfriend so many times because it did seem to be the answer to all her problems and that she would ultimately be in Playboy. It was the best of all worlds in her mind.
The problem was that the landlord had already given her many opportunities to pay and it was only his crush that kept her from being tossed out on the street. She figured her car could be repossessed at any time and she would not be able to get anywhere without a car. She decided that she needed to write a letter to Hef. She had not had any time alone with him and the girls watched her all the time, so she figured if she wrote him a letter and told him to read it in private that then the girls wouldn’t know exactly what was in it.
We met at the mall across from my hotel, and she bought a special Hello Kitty photo album, paper, and envelopes. We sat up most of the night writing the letter. I told her to try to make it as short and to the point as possible because he is so busy and that way he could read it without the girlfriends reading over his shoulder. Kim made notes. She made several drafts. By the end of the night this is what evolved:

Dear Hef:
I’m about to get evicted from my apartment. I’m three months behind in my rent. I lost my job from calling in sick every Wednesday and Friday. I can’t concentrate on anything but being with you. I can’t get enough of you. I’ve never done anal before but it looks fun, so I want you to be my first. If you could move me in ‘til I get back on my feet I wanna lose my anal virginity to you, daddy! I will spend every hour of the day thinking of ways to please you.

Why did she write this letter? She was desperate. The anal part was just a tease, hoping that would be enough to move her in. The girls that would let Hef have anal with them were his favorites, and I told Kim what Kelly had told me about Isabella doing anal and that was why she got to live there so long. Also, during the sex orgy the only girl that gave Hef anal was Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, and this was why she was the number-one girlfriend. We called it “the anal edge.” The next time Kim went to the mansion she gave the note to Hef and asked him to read it in private. The result of the note was that she was given $1,000 in cash.
The way this allowance system works I was told is he brings in each girl into his office one at a time because Saturdays are allowance days, and yes, girls do get different amounts and that is why they go in separately. Each is also sworn to silence on the amount or Hef would be upset. Girls will be girls, and they all talked. After sleeping with him that Friday night Kim was there until the handout of cash on Saturday. She even got her own private turn like the other girls. She explained to me that all of the girls were calling “Daddy, daddy, I need my allowance” down the halls, and each one went and searched him out to get it. He did not ask her to move in, but he did give her some cash to get her by and she promised to pay him back when she could so that she did not seem demanding and said she would set up payments and make sure to repay him. He told her it was a gift, and he didn’t want it back.
What did she do with the $1,000—pay bills? Yes, but some had to go for clothes for the upcoming Mardi Gras party at the mansion. She bought a $300 Coach purse when I was not with her, an entire outfit and a huge hat for the upcoming Mardi Gras party at the mansion. I told her not to, but she didn’t listen. She felt that if she walked the part, looked the part, she would make girlfriend. She wanted to make the best impression ever, and when she went out on the town with Hef she wanted to have the best-looking outfits so that she would fit in. I ended up buying a diamond bra, even though I had already picked an outfit for Mardi Gras. The party coming up was the day after Valentine’s Day, February 15th on Saturday.

Chapter Thirty Three
Mardi gras Party at the Mansion

That Friday, Kim headed up to the mansion. It was Valentine’s Day. All the girls had gotten gift baskets from Hef except for Kim—even including the new girl Sherrie. It was upsetting for Kim but she did not say anything. She spent the night Friday and woke up at the mansion Saturday in plenty of time to get ready for the big event that night.
Kim was told that they were not going out that Friday night because of the big party, but she didn’t want to have to take the shuttle like all of the common folk since. After all, she was sleeping with the owner of the magazine and host of the party. She asked if she could come up the night before so that she would be on the premises before the party got started and she could get ready at the mansion. Hef agreed. I was sad because I didn’t have her to ride up with to the party. We had already discussed that no matter what, that even during the party that she would not pay any attention to me . . . that she needed to stay at the table and play her girlfriend part. I told her not to get into trouble for talking to me and not to ask me to sit at the table with them. She deserved to be there, and so did the other girls. I would be fine.
I want to take a moment to explain to readers that I am not a judgmental person. I’ve got a free spirit, a loving heart. I disapproved of the way Hef treated his “stable” of women, and the way the lack of protection in the age of AIDS put them all at risk. But I am also mature enough to realize every person has to lead his or her own life. If Kim was determined to make girlfriend, despite the risks, I was going to be as supportive as I could.
The worst possible scenario happened to her. She and another girl had the identical outfits in different colors for the party. The other girl went running to Hef crying about it. Kim was asked not to wear hers, the outfit we had spent hours selecting, and she was loaned one from the girl who had complained. I didn’t know about the incident until I saw Kim at the party and she overheard some of the girls saying that the other girl looked better in the ensemble than Kim.
The politics and backstabbing were incredible. I had prepared, as always, for the big party by driving miles to have my hair and makeup done, dressed at my makeup friend’s house and Bruce drove me to the UCLA parking lot for the pickup. I kissed Bruce goodbye, and he waited at a distance to make sure I got on the bus without a hitch. There are lines and each person waits in the line that corresponds with the last name to make sure each is on the list. They check everyone’s driver’s license and place a band on everyone’s arm. Then everyone goes to a different line where they take a current picture to make sure no one has gained weight or is looking ugly to decide who will be on the next party list. They call it “casting.” Hef looks through the pictures and casts who he wants to be at his party and whom he doesn’t.
On the bus ride, Pauly Shore was sitting in the seat behind me. He kept reaching through the chair dividers to get my attention. I just looked back at him, very flattered. The girls were all dressed very sexily and fully made up with glitter from head to toe, looking their best for the party. Everyone was playing with Mardi Gras beads and just being lively. When I got off the bus I headed to the very back of the mansion just to check out all the decorations and to pass by the exclusive Hef table to see what the girls were wearing.
I realized not having a girlfriend hanging around me was a sudden star magnet. I think this party, of all parties, I talked to more stars and they talked to me more than ever.
When I saw Kim in her new outfit I was like, what the heck! I just waved to her as I walked by when she was at the table. She slightly lifted her hand as to make sure the other girls did not see her because I was the unpopular girl now, instead of Kelly like earlier in this book.
Being alone at the party I did not really know anyone, and Kelly was there but we had a falling out earlier when she had stayed at my house in Arizona. Karen was not there. I was wearing my diamond bra and funky pink pants that were a look alike to Versace that I purchased on Melrose inexpensively. Kim and Michelle made a run for the bathroom and this was the only time that they were allowed to quickly mingle without getting in trouble. Kim told me the outfit story and we posed for a few pictures with Corey Feldman and his wife, and at this exact time Corey and his wife were inviting Michelle, me and Kim to a private party that weekend. Kim and Michelle headed back to the table and I said to Corey’s wife, can I bring my boyfriend? I started telling her the story of how he is always left at home and that I would love to be able to bring him and she said she completely understood and they would love to have him. I gave her my personal email address and thanked her and off I went again alone.
I ran into the guy from 90210 that was the chef at the diner. I asked him if I could get a picture with him. He coldly told me, “Cameras aren’t allowed. Can’t you read?” I said “Oh, I don’t have a camera. I thought maybe you had one and you could take a picture of the two of us and email it to me. I guess not . . . thanks.” What a creep. I didn’t want his damn picture anyway. Gosh, what did he think he was still on 90210 and had to teach us something? Give me a break.
As I wandered through, friendly but alone, I got pictures with Simon Cowell again, Tara Reid again, Jim Belushi, and a few others. I talked to many more than I got pictures of because you are not to have a camera at the parties so first you had to ask, then you had to click quick before the many of many security guards seen you and took it away from you.
Of course if you were a girlfriend of Hef’s you could take as many pictures as you wanted, and at Hef’s table they all had their cameras in front of them. One of the only reasons I got a picture of Corey Feldman in the middle of the party was because I was with Kim and she was allowed to take pictures.
Anyhow, back to the event. Pauly Shore was standing over by the pool with one of his guy friends. I saw the bottom feeder “Ron Smith” walk over to him and Pauly is handing him a business card and telling Ron he can get a hold of him at that number. As Ron Smith is walking away I walked up and say to Pauly, “So you give him your number but you won’t give me your number.” He quickly handed me the same card and said “You can call me anytime.” I smiled and walked away. Why walk away? There were other stars to meet, and I was only teasing. I am not available but hey I still have Pauly’s phone number and for some reason this is cool for me.
I looked over and saw Ron Smith was talking to Michael Clarke Duncan from movies like Green Mile and Daredevil, standing at a little table all by himself. I, knowing Ron Smith, decided that this was a perfect opportunity for me to get to talk to Mr. Duncan. Who was Ron Smith? One of Hef’s cronies, as Gordon Rael described and he seemed to be at every Playboy Event and was at all the clubs that Hef frequented, seated in a section near us.
I said, “Hi Ron.”
He said, “Hi, Jill Ann.” I smiled. Ron turned back to talk to Michael Duncan and he was asking him to come up to the mansion the following day.
Michael looked over at me and said, “Is she going to be there?”
I smiled and Ron told Michael that he could bring me. Ron was then off to talk to others again.
I started to talk to Michael. I must admit Hef telling me I was no longer welcome to come up on Sundays because it was just too intimate of a day at the mansion made me want to go all the more.
What am I talking about? When I moved to LA and told Gordon Rael that I was living in L.A. for good, I phoned the mansion and spoke to Jenny. I said, “I am living in L.A. now and was wondering if I could start coming up on Sundays for Fun in the Sun Day.”
She said that she would talk to Hef and let me know. She called back later that day and said Hef said, “No, this is too intimate of a day for you to come up.” My girlfriend Karen was up and had written a letter the week before telling Hef she was going to be in town and was wondering if she could come up for Fun in the Sun. He approved it. I said to Jenny, “You are letting my girlfriend Karen come up to this intimate day and approved her.” Karen did go up that Sunday for Fun in the Sun. I, however, was not allowed to come.
I could not come up on Sundays, and this was an opportunity to belie his intimation that I was not welcome. I couldn’t be stopped if a star invited me—and this was intoxicating.
Not only had I already not taken Jenny’s no, but I sent a dozen roses to Hugh Hefner with a note asking if I could come up on Sundays for “Fun in the Sun.” My mind was whirling. I am such a bad girl. I could not help but really want this. I wanted all the girls to see me watching the movies with them, etc. Kim was going to be there also, and I could wave to her and sit with her. What can I say? I’m the type of person who is mischievous. Yup, that’s me. Tell me no, and I just am all the naughtier!
Michael said that he has so many interviews to go on and different things. I was so excited because he is doing all of the premieres for his new movie with Ben Affleck. I told him, “I want to go” and he’s like “I’ll take you everywhere.” I talked to him for awhile and kept trying to leave; he said “Why do you have to go?” I told him I had so many friends there and I only get to see them at these parties.
I said, “Why don’t we get together tomorrow at the mansion?”
He said, “Why don’t we get together right now?” and he gave me a very sexual smile. I’m thinking, shoot . . . I’m over my head, but if I could just get into the mansion this would really be good. I said haven’t you heard of the two-meal rule and I smiled, he starts laughing and gives me a great big smile.
I barely talked to him but 10 minutes. I gave him my number, told him I would meet him at the mansion and that was it. During the night I would see him in the distance and he would wink and I would wink and we never spoke again. The hook was set.
Late into the night I walked by the Hef table and Kim motioned me over.
She said, “Sit down.”
I was scared. “No!”
She said, “No really, it’s okay. I am bored out of my mind, and the other girls have had many of their friends sit down. It is okay.”
Of course while we were sitting there, the cameras were on the Hef table the entire time filming every move. Kim started to adjust my diamond bra because it was slightly off-center and it snapped apart, busting open and revealing everything. Of course, the cameras were there to capture the entire moment and zoom in close.
I said, “You did that on purpose.”
She helped me get it back together and then suddenly all of the girlfriends got up and headed out. She hugged me goodbye and headed upstairs with Hef and the girls.
Nothing else happened this night. Bruce picked me up. I went to sleep, and the following day I told Bruce that I was going to go to the Playboy mansion. I told him the whole thing about the Duncan guy and how excited I was just to see the girlfriends’ faces when I showed up at the mansion for their Sunday event. He decided to head out and play a tournament at Ocean’s Eleven hich was about 1½ hours away. I told him I would just take a cab to the Mansion. I called Kim on her cell phone at the mansion and she went outside to talk to me. I said that I noticed Michelle and one of the other girls come back down later on in the evening.
She said, “Yeah. You’re not supposed to go back down. You can tell those girls don’t really care if they get in trouble or not, but I did not go back down because I am not in yet and I am not going to make any mistakes.”
I told her that I was planning on seeing her that night, and she was so excited. I told her about the cab, etc. I started to worry about the guards not letting me in. I decided to call the guards at the mansion and tell them the situation to make sure they were going to let me in. I said Ron Smith knows all about it. They said that Ron had not mentioned it to them and that he had not put me on the list. They gave me Ron’s number so I called him.
He said, “Oh that was something for you to work out between yourselves. That has nothing to do with me.”
I told him I was going to be there and if I wasn’t there Michael was probably not going to be happy. He said that as soon as he arrived he would call me and let me know if he wanted me there or not. I was so upset. I sat home for many hours until Bruce returned because I decided not to go. I was not going to beg at the gate and look like a fool or feel unwelcome. Bruce came back from the tournament and I was so glad to see him. I was so sad that my plan had not worked. We were sitting there watching TV, and my phone showed a message on my voice mail.
I really had no underhanded pretensions toward Bruce. I never tried to hide anything from him. Amazingly, Mr. Duncan called and left a voicemail. The message said: “Surprise! You didn’t think I’d call you. I called and wanted to hear from you. Call me.” He left me his number. I actually called back my voice message machine to have Bruce be able to hear the cool accent and message exactly. I was so excited. I told Bruce my whole intentions, and he seemed to understand my madness. I asked if I could go down into the lobby and call him back. Bruce wondered why I needed to go down to the lobby to call him back. I told him I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking in front of him.
Bruce went absolutely ballistic. “You want to go and fucking flirt with a fucking man?”
I said, “No.”
He said, “What the hell. Then you can make the fucking call from here. I’ll just fucking go back to Arizona and you can fucking talk to him all you want.”
I knew this was like the breaking point of our relationship that he was so pissed off and jealous and that I was in such deep water. I had been with this man for eleven years, but it had finally gotten to him. I had never pushed it this far, and I thought that at this moment I was losing the love of my life. He suddenly did not trust me anymore, and even though I felt so in control maybe he was right.
I picked up the phone with Bruce sitting on the bed to call Mr. Duncan. I said “Hi, it’s Jill Ann.”
He said, “I know who you are.”
He asked if I went to the Playboy Mansion. I told him they wouldn’t let me go unless I came with him. He said that he had so much to do he couldn’t get away. I wished I could have explained my situation to him in person, or else in private, but I knew I had to discuss it in front of Bruce or we would be through.
Michael said, “What are you doing right now?”
I looked over at Bruce sitting staring at me.
“Not much.”
He said, “Come over and see me.”
“Oh, I can’t tonight.”
He said, “How about tomorrow night then?”
I told him that I was sorry that I misled him when I was at the Playboy Mansion. I was not myself. “I have a boyfriend,” I finally said.
Michael now realized that even though we got along, and there had been some innocent flirting on my part, I would not let it go any further, and he was angry. “What! You fucking played me! You have a fucking boyfriend. You fucking played me! I don’t want some used bitch that has a fucking boyfriend. Don’t ever fucking call me again.” And then he hung up. Bruce looked at me and asked what he said.
I told him: “To never fucking call him again.”
Bruce then was pissed off. “Who the hell does he think he is talking to you like that?”
I was so shocked. I heard the angriest person in my life on the other line of the phone. I was nearly shaking when I hung up the phone. What a night! I did not sleep well.
After the Mardi Gras party, Kim stayed that Saturday night. That night after the Mardi Gras party, Hef took the girls upstairs and the same orgy happened. He gives them Friday nights off if there is a party on Saturday night. Friday night they did not have the orgy; it was automatically moved to Saturday night. Kim said that Hef was kissing and hugging on her and acting like no one else was in the room. She stayed an additional night that Sunday night. The following morning she was in one of the girlfriends’ rooms.
Hef came in and said to her, bluntly, “Kim you need to go; it’s time for you to go.” She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t say anything at all and just went to get her stuff and headed home. That was the last time that she would ever see Hef in person.
She called to speak to him later that week. He responded to her by saying, “Well, when we do go out I’ll let you know.” She hung up the phone after speaking to him.
That same week I went to Corey Feldman’s wedding reception.
We emailed back and forth (Mrs. Feldman that is), and she put me on the VIP list and gave me directions on how to get there. It was a great time. Open bar, a huge screen of their wedding from the reality show they were on was playing. Tons of beautiful people were there. They thanked everyone for coming. I even got to bring Bruce with me, so this was so exciting for me. Of all things, though, a couple came up to us while we were waiting for them to set up the party. We got there hour early for the party (I guess I was excited to go!) anyhow, so we waited on one of the benches upstairs of the reception hall in the bar area. A beautiful couple came up to us and asked if they could sit down. They guy was very muscular and the girl very beautiful. Because of the many of crazy things that go on in Hollywood, Bruce and I had been talking on the way to the party that we just need to meet a normal couple that we could go out with and have a good time. It was a strange coincidence that they came up and approached us. We were so excited, and we all chatted till the doors opened. They were there with about three other couples. They went on their way and about a half hour into the waiting for the party to get started, they asked if we wanted to join their group. We were delighted. They were all young couples and all very friendly.
How little did we know that we were at the main table, when Corey Feldman and his wife came out they even gave a special salute to the group of couples that we had joined. We were even more excited that we had met a group that even maybe got to go to other great parties. We just wanted to find a few couples so that we could go to parties that other couples were invited to instead of just me being invited to events. Later that evening the girl asked me if she could sit by me. I said sure. I did notice that during the evening that everyone was very friendly around the table to each other, and that they were not afraid to smack one of the other guy’s butts when they walked by. Small little things like this, I noticed but . . . hey, I am naïve, and I did not really think a lot of it. I figured they probably all went to high school together and were great friends. She said you have such beautiful breasts. I said thank you and so do you. She touched them on the side a little and gave me this really sexy smile. I flirted back giving her a wink. She said I have to ask you something. I said sure. She said my husband and I swing so do they. She motioned over to the large group of affectionate couples.
I did not say anything.
She said, “My husband doesn’t think you guys swing, and I told him he was wrong and that you do, so do you?” I don’t know why I said it or what brought it on. Out of the blue I smiled and said, “Of course we do.” I don’t know if I just felt like being playful and pulling her leg or what. She turned over to her husband and started punching him and said I told you, I told you. I then had to whisper to Bruce what was said. She asked me for my phone number. I must admit this group was young, gorgeous, I mean very young in their early twenties. We left shortly after this. We headed back to Malibu where our motor home was parked. Before I even got home she had called and wanted to meet. She left a voice message on my phone. All the way back to the motor home Bruce was flipping out.
“This F town is crazy; we have to get out of this F town.” He could not believe we couldn’t even go out with couples without them wanting to sleep with me! I told him at least this time he was included. I at least had a sense of humor about the whole thing. I then began to wonder, like what the rules were. Did I go there for the night and then she came over to our house for the night. Did we just all go to the same house and take turns. I was curious. I think I watch too much TV or something. To tell you how naïve I really am. The next morning there was another message on my cell phone from the gal saying they wanted to meet up for drinks. I literally changed my phone number that day. I could not figure out how I was going to get out of what I had said. They were also friends of the Feldmans or at least guests. I didn’t want it to get back to the Feldmans. I don’t know. I really physically had to call all of my friends, relatives, everyone and give them my new phone number.

Chapter Thirty Four
It’s over

This trip, Bruce and I were at the hotel for fifty-two days. The photo shoot, getting pictures developed, and getting those pictures made into Zed cards all took time. I checked out of the hotel and dropped off everything at Gordon’s office (the Zed cards, 8 by 10 head shots and the 8 by 10 Playboy pictures). My motor home was ready, so we drove to pick it up in Chino, California. We parked it in Malibu to live so that when Gordon called I would be within a half-hour drive to his office and near all surrounding areas. The following day I got a call from Gordon. I was excited to hear his voice.
He said, “Who gave you permission to use that picture of you with the cards?”
I didn’t know what to say. “Hef did.”
“Okay.” He hung up. That was it.
A few weeks went by, and Kim still felt bewildered and still wanted to live at the mansion or be part of Playboy.
I had not gotten one call from Gordon even though I continued to call him and ask if there was anywhere that he could send me and that I was out in Malibu ready at all times for his call.
Giving up, we headed back to Arizona to stay in our house that hadn’t sold yet and get more clothes etc.
Kim visited me in Arizona, and I tried to be supportive. I told her she would have to gather her courage and call Hef again. I was in the room with her when she called. She was very upset as she worked herself up into making the call, and said, “What the hell does he mean ‘when we go out’? That means he’s not going to fucking call me because they go out every Wednesday and Friday night.” She was so upset.
Then I got a phone call from a man at Playboy. He told me he had spoken with Hef, and he had not given me permission; that even if he had, he didn’t have the right to give me permission. He told me that I must stop using the pictures and that they must be returned to their office immediately. I was told I would be receiving a letter from Chicago that I needed to sign and return agreeing not to use the Playboy logo or picture. He was very cold and very firm. I asked for the address and returned them as soon as possible. I asked if I had to return my business cards that had the logo on them as well. He told me all of it had to be returned or I was open to a lawsuit.
I hung up the phone and started crying. Kim and Bruce were there. I decided to call the Playboy Mansion. I was transferred to Hef’s personal secretary. I told her what had happened. She told me that if I cooperated everything would be fine. I was crying uncontrollably worrying that Hef was angry with me—worried I would be sued over something that was completely innocent on my part. She assured me he wasn’t angry. I mailed the photos and my business cards to Gordon’s office.
After two weeks I still hadn’t received a letter from Chicago. I called and spoke to the same man who had called me, gave him my grandparents’ address and mentioned I had not received the letter he had mentioned.
A month went by and I got no call from Gordon Rael. I decided to call the unpleasant guy who had threatened me with a lawsuit if I hadn’t complied. He had taken my business cards that were my only proof that I was ever in Playboy. He gave me the number of the legal department in Chicago. I left a message and told them I still hadn’t received anything from them. This opened a can of worms. They had never heard of my situation and started checking websites to see who might be using my pictures. I tried to explain the entire thing. I hadn’t sold any of the pictures. I had just signed them for friends, family, and fans. She was very nice and told me they were quite strict on the use of the logo. Not only could I not use the logo on the picture, I couldn’t use the picture either.
Note: I have never heard from her again, which is a good thing. Bruce offered his opinions that if I was sufficiently scared by this latest turn of events the release of my memoir could be worse. Could I handle it? I guess we’ll find out. I hired the best entertainment lawyer out of New York to review my book before it was published. I had to leave out a lot of things I wished I could have put in, but he was trying to keep me out of trouble so I guess we’ll see! I never did get a letter from Playboy about the pictures of logo problem.
As for Kim, she decided to call Hef again a few weeks later. After she worked herself up into making the call she thought of reasons to say why she was calling when he got on the line and thought of asking him for a referral for a job interview. Not really needing one, just wanting some reason to call. She called up, and Hef got on the phone and she asked him if she could use him as
a referral for a job application. He said no way!
She said, “Then is there any way you could give me a job around the mansion?”
He said, “No, I can’t help you.” He actually laughed at her. She said that she missed him and wanted to see him again, and he was much colder this time. She knew it was over. The conversation was short. A month went by without any word from Hef. She grew more upset and unsettled.
She said, “I was played by an old man.”
She began to become angry because she did write him a letter on the first night when she went home with him that she wanted to be a Playmate and that she wanted to be part of Playboy. She did not sleep with him till the third date as they say, and he had a chance to know that she wanted him for the reasons of being in the magazine. She did not hide her feelings. She put them down on a piece of paper saying really what she expected. Finally in desperation she decided to write him a letter, and about what it said.
Dear Hef,
After waiting day after day for you to call me, I have had time to check out and look at the Hugh Hefner areas. I realize by looking at the pictures of Sherrie who got to be invited to the Super Bowl XXXVII, the Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro engagement party, The Surreal life viewing party . . . all of these events I was dating and sleeping with you but not invited to these events—only sex nights. I realize you never intended on having me as part of your bunch, but I was good enough to have sex with. My question to you is I had unprotected sex with you on the thought that we had made a connection, but I see now that even though we did, the color of my skin and hair made me not fit into the picture. I understand this perfectly, but Hef, can you at least put me in Special Editions, Cyber Girl, Playmate, something. I feel that I deserve it since my intentions were love, and yours were only sexual.

Hef’s written response was not the one Kim wanted. He said to her “I didn’t initiate our relationship; you did. You are the one who wanted to spend time with me not the other way around. Because I let you come upstairs with us you seem to think I am obligated to you in other ways. I find this very inappropriate, unattractive behavior, and a real turn-off. You seem to see yourself as a victim of some sort. It isn’t the color of your skin or hair that is a problem—it is your personality. I’ll continue to invite you to parties as long as you behave yourself. But if I get any more communications like this, forget it.”
Kim did not go to his birthday party because she was so embarrassed by the response she got from Hef. She figured that she would go to the next one. When the next one came around she called up the mansion and talked to Jenny. She told Jenny her name and asked if she was on the list for the next party. She said no that she was not on the list. Kim asked if she could ask Hef if she could be on the list.
Later that day Jenny called her back and said, “Kim, I just talked to Hef and he said, no. So the answer is no. Maybe next time in the future. Okay? Bye-Bye.” That was it. She was so upset.
She called me and said, “I’m banned. You might as well have just called me and told me that I was banned. I don’t know why they didn’t.”
She continued, “Yeah, I’m banned. I fucked him for nothing. For nothing—okay? I’m better off fucking some old guy that farts himself that, you know, leaves you $90 million like Anna Nicole Smith. Oh God, what a waste.”

Chapter Thirty Five
No Longer Welcome at the Mansion

Okay let’s recap. I have just been to the mansion and very plainly been, as they call it, on the “casting couch in LA” “either spread or fled” whatever else slang you want to put on it. But there’s more to my parting with Playboy than that. The plot thickens.
I was in L.A., and I was at a place where the woman does expert eyebrow tattooing and eyelash dying. I was referred by Tina Jordan and Michelle the gal that I stayed out in the guest house with at the Playboy Mansion. I used her because I admired the work she did for many of the Playboy models. The woman working on me told me about her new location opening up and that Tina Jordan and Michelle were showing up that evening at 4:00 for a photo shoot and that she would really appreciate it if I would show up to be one of the models because I had great skin, great figure and that she would trade me out some services for doing it. She knew I was friends with both Tina and Michelle because both of them had referred me to her salon. I was so excited and thrilled and told her that I definitely would.
I headed back home right then because I had no makeup on or anything cute to wear and the salon asked me to wear something sexy. Bruce and I headed back to Malibu, and I spent over 2½ hours getting all dolled up with eyelashes, full hair, etc. and then headed to her new location for the photo shoot. When I walked in I expected to find many models, but I just found Michelle and Tina in the waiting room. They seemed so excited to see me, and I was excited to see them. They called Tina into the other room to start taking photos of her. We all moved over because Bruce had been sitting on the floor because the couch we were all sitting on only held three people, without Tina sitting down he could move up to the couch.
We started chatting as if Bruce was not there, talking about our careers, and she told me about getting new head shots and that she was planning on being on a soap opera and that she was doing many auditions. I showed her my new Zed cards that I had just completed and my 8 x 10 black and white shot. She said she really liked them. I mentioned her hair looked great, she said she removed her extensions and had changed her hair color to more of a brown because to get on soap operas you aren’t taken seriously if you are a blonde. She told me about how she had some illness that she ended up in the emergency room during the same day at the Golden Globes.
“Really? I was at the Golden Globes after party at the Beverly Hilton and when I was leaving I saw Hef and all of his girls leaving.” This was the truth. The only part that I did not mention was that I could not get in through the guards. I just happened to be hanging out trying to think of another way to try and get in when Hef and his gang was coming out at the same time.
Anyhow, she said that was the day that she was in the emergency room and did not get to go. She said it was the only thing exciting that they got to do and she missed it.
I said “You guys do all kinds of fun things all of the time.”
She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Not really.”
“You guys are always getting to go places that are really cool.”
She said, “Not really.”
“The Oscars!”
She said, “We are watching it at the mansion on the big screen.”
I said, “All of the parties…all of the famous people at the mansion that come to film and visit!” I mean, if I could have had that life without succumbing to Hef’s orgies, I would have. Who wouldn’t?
She rolled her eyes again. She then asked me if I was going to the birthday party. I told her no.
She said, “That one is pretty small and boring.”
I said that wasn’t the reason—I just told Bruce that I was not going to go. I said he has sat at home for the last year as I had explored my dream—and seen the ugly side of “the business.”
I added, “I saw Isabella in Malibu about a week ago at a bar.”
“What’s the real reason that she doesn’t live at the mansion anymore. I had heard she was mad because Hef had not made her a playmate and she was sick of him promising so she finally just moved out?”
“I don’t know. I think that’s probably it.”
“I also heard that each of you get to invite four guests to the parties and she was selling them.”
“She was. She was actually selling mine, too.”
“I wish you had let me know because I would have loved to be able to bring Bruce.”
“Isabella was selling them for $1500 a piece.”
I said, “I would have paid $2000.” I told her that it was a $1000 a ticket to just get Bruce into the Playboy Super bowl party in San Diego and it was not even at the Mansion. She did not say anything to my response. She started telling me how broke she was and how everything was costing so much money, head shots, pictures, etc. She then started talking about her daughter needing this and that. She then got called to the back room for shooting. She turned around before leaving the room and said, “Call me, here is my number?”
I smiled. She smiled. I just shook my head in agreement. I was so excited. I was not going to have to miss the birthday party after all. I was going to get to bring Bruce. The look we exchanged was one of understanding. She needed money for her daughter, for her life, and I was willing to pay for the ticket in order to let the love of my life have a glimpse at the strange, glitzy world I had been privy to.
I was the last one for the photo shoot, and when I came back out from the shoot both Michelle and Tina were gone. Michelle had told Vida that she was in a hurry because she had to pick up her daughter. A few days later, Kim and I were already planning on what we were going to wear to the birthday party assuming that I was now going to be at the event with Bruce. Bruce had already picked out what he was going to wear to the mansion based on the conversation with Michelle. He had Playboy bunny boxers and a t-shirt with a picture of Hugh Hefner smoking a cigar.
I said “Hi Michelle. It’s Jill Ann. I promise that I will not tell anyone, ever. I’ll give you $2,000 to let Bruce get into the mansion for the birthday party. I know you need the money and it would mean a great deal to Bruce to get to go. Please call me ####.”
I crossed my heart, and I figured it was a done deal. I figured that I would get a call back from her to exchange the money and if she had chickened out or changed her mind she would call and say no. I didn’t hear from her.
I called Kim telling her that Michelle had not called back. She said not to worry that often she did not answer her phone when she was at the mansion. A few days went by, and I was thinking about calling Michelle again.
The phone rang early one morning. An unfamiliar voice said, “Hello. I need to speak to Jill Ann Spaulding.”
I said, “Speaking.”
She said, “This is Marilyn Grabowski, Hef’s personal secretary, and I am calling to un-invite you to Hef’s birthday party and any other party that Jenny might call you to tell you about.”
I said, “Okay. Why?”
She said that it was because of my recent message left with Michelle. It turned out that Michelle had “brought it to Hef’s attention and he is appalled that you would do something so underhanded as to get someone into his party.”
I said “Okay. Well, I guess it was a misunderstanding because I felt that Michelle brought up the whole situation. May I at least explain to you what exactly happened?”
She said, “Go ahead.”
I explained the whole thing—about me, Michelle, and Tina Jordan and the photo shoot. Marilyn then suddenly asked if Tina Jordan was involved in the whole situation. I said no she had nothing to do with it. I then explained the entire conversation that I had with Michelle just as I’ve outlined here. I said that I must have misunderstood, and I said that the punishment of never being invited again seemed pretty harsh. A simple “We don’t appreciate this—don’t do it again—we don’t allow this—Hef is disappointed” would have been appropriate. I asked her to please tell Hef my side of the story and to reconsider that it was not premeditated.
She said, “This is Hef’s confirmed decision.” I felt backed into a corner. I was stunned. I was also shocked that Michelle would do such a thing. I knew treachery at the mansion existed, but this was unbelievable.
I lashed out. I guess the hypocrisy of it all was finally getting to me. I was hoping that maybe it would make Hef reconsider or something. I don’t know. I just knew I had done wrong by telling her how I really felt.
A few hours went by, and I had already called my entire family, as well as Kim, and I was so upset. Bruce felt awful because he felt it was his fault. It wasn’t, of course. I just got so upset I decided to call back the mansion and discuss it with them again. I asked for Marilyn Grabowski.
The woman who answered said that Marilyn Grabowski was in a meeting with Hef. I asked if she could leave a message for her.
“It is really important,” I said.
“What is it in reference to?”
I said, “It is concerning me never being allowed to go to another party at the Mansion again.”
She said, “Okay” and I started explaining that I had no intentions on doing anything that would upset Hef, and that I did not think offering money to get Bruce into a party was this terrible. I started explaining that I had paid $1005 to go to the New Orleans Party for Playboy and that I paid $1000 just to get Bruce in to the Playboy party for the Super Bowl, that I paid $1000 a day to get Bruce into the Playboy Golf Scramble at the Playboy Mansion. I did not realize that it was going to upset him this much and that I did not mean anything by it.
She was very nice and sided with me; she said she understood how much pressure that girls got to bring their boyfriends to the parties and that it was understandable and many people had offered money to get their friends and boyfriends in. I thanked her for her time and said that I felt the punishment was extreme. She agreed and said she would relay the message to Marilyn. No one ever called back. It was this very week that I started to write my book.
Why? I finally realized that all of my ties with Playboy were no longer, that there was no more hope, no more second chance. This was it. I had nothing to lose. I suddenly was able to take a step back, as well, and look at what was going on in the bright light of what it is. I found an editor who was interested in my book. I had scheduled an appointment to meet with the editor in person. That week prior to meeting with her, I thought of sending a copy of the book to Hef. Why? Was it blackmail on my part? No. I thought of many different reactions, and dreams crossed my mind; he would either have one of his goons kill me, silence me, or pay me off. Maybe he would want the book written to boost his ego. He probably wouldn’t care, or maybe he would put me in his magazine in exchange for me not writing the book.
God, would he have me destroyed? Or do the opposite; maybe even make me a Playmate. Don’t think that all the various results of my determination to tell my story did not cross my mind many times.
I feel the fear of the other consequences or him letting one of his regular girls beat me to writing the book because he might as well have someone that slept with him write it instead of it coming out through me. But I didn’t send him the book ahead of time.
Bruce pressed to the editor why it needed to be written—and quickly before the word got out. Playboy has such a power over these girls that they need to know what they are getting into and the soul they will have to sell. He said he had no concept of why I would still want to be in this man’s magazine after all that I had gone through but that there was that driving force. It’s confronting an icon of sexuality.


This whole experience was devastating and disillusioning. The journey that had been my dream since I was very young was over. My family, friends, and companion had all encouraged and supported me. I had worked hard, suffered the pain of surgeries, paid hundreds of dollars on promotion, and I wonder with what I am left.
I am still the little girl who dreams of being well known and well loved—of filling that void to prove to myself that I am worthy of love. For all the girls that dream of being a Playboy model or anything like it I would caution them to approach it from a business standpoint. The “casting couch” is too expensive. I will say that all the young girls giving “it” up to achieve the goal have ruined it for those of us wanting to retain our integrity, morals, and ethics. My path would have been completely different if I had been willing to give up my values on life and love. This doesn’t mean to say that those unfortunates forced into a temporary lifestyle to stay alive are worthy of disdain. Survival is paramount, and hope is the one thing that keeps the heart alive.
I realized that my age was not the problem because one of the girls who were in bed with Hugh Hefner the two nights I was upstairs was 36-years old. I watched her have sex with Hef both nights. At 36-years old she made Playmate of the month®. I said no to sex with him and I feel this is why I didn’t make Playmate of the month® or anything in the Playboy Magazine. So ladies, it wasn’t my age, it was my lack of the sexual participation. My opinion is I would have had to become a hired sex slave for twice a week participation for as long as he saw fit or wanted me; waiting day upon day trying to please his every wish in hopes that I would not be cut and ultimately make Playmate like most of the girlfriends that had come before me.
As for the beautiful Platinum Diamond Playboy Necklace. I got mine. How? I found out the manufacturer of the exact same ones that Hef gives his girlfriends and playmates, and I drove to the office myself. I purchased the Official Diamond Platinum Playboy necklace for $750. It was the same amount I got paid for my Playboy Shoot so in some ways Playboy paid for it except I had Bruce put it around my neck instead of Hef.
When I look back, I think of the money I spent on the “casting couch.” Gordon Rael? He never sent me on a single other shoot or any other work after I spent all that money on photos that supposedly had to be “just right.” There are men out there waiting to hook innocent young girls, girls with stars in their eyes.
Ultimately, when you look in the mirror and I mean really look—wherever you are in life—were the sacrifices you made for the furs, expensive cars, jewelry and glamour, and attention worth the price? When your beauty fades, and it will despite your unwillingness to accept it, will you be able to look back on your decisions and be comfortable in your skin? Will the price tag I have tried to show you that was presented to me be worth it?
You decide girls, gals, women and ladies and even guys. Which path will you choose? I made it up the stairs and had the courage to walk down, out the gate and home to those who love me and will be with me always.
A lot of people ask me why I wrote the book and why I would. I feel back in the 50’s when it was Hugh Hefner’s magazine and it was basically a small magazine that he had to drum up girl to put in the magazine or pay $500 for photos of others such as he did to use Marilyn Monroe’s pictures. I could see that you would use the girls that were around you and make them ultimately playmates and girls in your magazine. The problem that I found was the company is a publicly traded company. As of the updated Stock Profile on Playboy Enterprises, Inc. PLA and PLA/A it is no longer just his money that is going into his wallet. It is now people around the world that have decided to invest in his company. Market Capitalization for just one division of Playboy was 431.2 Million. There are chairmen, CEOs, corporate executives, executive VP’s and hundred of other people that have invested their hard-earned money into making money on their money. It is now not just a back room magazine with a small staff. It is know a full fledged business with other people’s money at stake.
Considering it is a business now, wouldn’t it be important to assume that the most beautiful girls in the world were picked for their beauty and grace instead of just willing participants in the sick fantasies of a twisted old man? Wouldn’t this make the magazine sell more? There would have been enough girls to toy with, without affecting the magazine. I think it should be run like a business. Not a way to get laid. Not with these requirements and standards.
Why did I write the book? Because I can. That’s right. I don’t depend on an allowance from Hef for giving him his twice-weekly blowjobs. I wake up and I look in the mirror knowing I am not bought and paid for, and I can tell the truth. This book has been really and truly freeing for me. Some have accused me of jealousy or retaliation. Nope. I am the first person to admit I love glamour. I love, now, makeup and playing dress-up. I love parties and seeing movie stars. Who wouldn’t or doesn’t?
But the fact is, after this whole weird trip to L.A. and all I saw, it is really ludicrous that the Playmates are portrayed as the girls next door, as American pie. And no one can tell the truth—not when their bread and bitter comes from keeping up appearances.
For people reading this book, until I wrote this, didn’t most believe that the “girlfriends” were all for show? I did. Who would have thought that an elaborate sexual opera was being played out upstairs? Who would have thought that you needed the “anal edge”? It’s sad. And in the age of AIDS, it’s downright dangerous.
People ask me if I regret posing nude. Thanks for the question. I believe that the nude female body can be a very artistic and aesthetically beautiful thing. Consenting adult female nudity, in Playboy or in any tasteful venue has never been an issue with me. Clothed or unclothed, I wear my body with a certain amount of pride. I take care of it, work very hard to keep it healthy and fit, and I am in no way ashamed of it. I consider myself to be in a position of authority over my body and I respect that responsibility just as I respect my body.
Initially, I ascribed those same treasured ideals to Playboy magazine. Between its covers, one can find the most beautiful women in the world, tastefully and respectfully photographed by some of the world's premiere artists. I consider this to be artistic and sexual freedom at its zenith and I support it wholeheartedly.

Unfortunately, as a result of my experiences, I have discovered that these same high ideals do not extend upstairs, between the covers of the magazine owner's bed, where young women are routinely propositioned and offered the choice of putting their careers and their lives on the line by having to choose between dangerous, unprotected multi-partner sex with an octogenarian playboy or suffer an end to their own personal dreams and youthful aspirations. Not only that, I think they are “set up” by “pimping” women who say they’ll take care of them without telling them what’s really going to be coming.

By my way of thinking, this is neither, respectful, tasteful nor sexual freedom. It is simply a very disrespectful and disgusting form of sexual slavery.

Sexual Revolution

Boilerplate histories brusquely credit him with the sexual revolution and move on. That is Hugh Hefner I am talking about. When we gave him this title I don’t think any of us had in mind that this meant we would be forced to wear Pink Pajamas, perform unsafe sex with a man with 1000’s of partners, and do exactly the rehearsed play that he insists on each and every time. I thought it was so much more about discovering our own ideas and desires. How can he have this title when he only has rules that are made for his pleasure?

People ask me what I would ask Hef to do if I was able to speak to him and I would say this. No matter if you really have sold yourself that they are in it for the love of you and not for the fame and fortune could you at least be kind enough to have them tested prior to their upstairs romp. Such as the night I was upstairs. I could have been instructed that I was more then welcome to watch but that I could not participate till I was tested. I could see if it was something I was willing to venture in and make my own decision but at least I would have thought you were concerned about these young girls welfare. If you contract AIDS you have already lived your entire life but these young girls have not. This Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door Madison that is your main girlfriend your “Soul Mate” that you have expressed in many interviews, do you care enough about her to not want her to have a life after you pass away? I can only think of you as a sadistic person; perversion, cruelty, malice, sexual abnormality, sexual aberration, masochism, sadomasochism and more.

Related information can be found at:

This is where I got my pictures accepted for This is the place you should send your photos for submission. Why would I give you such addresses after you have found out all of these things? I wrote this book to make these things change. I was hoping to put Playboy under a spotlight with the world so maybe they would question the Playmates chosen instead of just assume they were judged for their beauty. I am hoping with more media aware of this that things will change at Playboy and when you send your pictures in they will be looked at for your beauty. Not thrown away because there are just too many favors they owe all of the girls willing to participate to take a look at your photos. This is however only my opinion and you are welcome to form your own or write a letter to your Playboy office to tell them what you feel and how you think things should be done.

Chicago Office
680 North Lake Shore Drive
Chicago, Illinois 60611
Attention: Picture Submission/Playmate Candidate
Phone: 312.751.8000
Fax: 312.751.2818
This is where I called to set up a Playmate Test Shoot and where I suggest you send your photos also:

Playboy Studio West
2112 Broadway
Santa Monica, California 90404
Attention: Picture Submission/Playmate Candidate
Phone: 310.264.6600
Fax: 310.264.1944

Letters that were sent to Hef and from Hugh Hefner:
Playboy Mansion West
10236 Charing Cross Road
Los Angeles, California 90024

I would love to hear what you thought about my book. Please send any reviews or letters to:
Jill Ann Spaulding
3454 E. Southern Avenue #104
Mesa, Arizona 85204
(This is not my living address so please give me
A few weeks to respond to your letter) or email me at

Playboy in the Media
Due to copyright laws I am only allowed to put some of the info into the book.

Prior to 2000
Back in 1985 former Playboy Playmate Miki Garcia and former Playboy bunny Brenda MacKillop testified before the Attorney General's Commission on Pornography. Garcia, who worked for Playboy for ten years, said she knew of Playmates who suffered from venereal diseases, who had attempted suicide, who had procured abortions, used illegal drugs, and engaged in orgies to please Hugh Hefner.
Brenda MacKillop, a Playboy Bunny at the Playboy Club in Los Angeles, testified that illegal drug use, group sex, and homosexuality were common in the Playboy mansion and that she began to drink and use drugs to desensitize her mind to the seamy world in which she found herself. This is the world celebrated by the media.

As for Hefner, researcher Judith Reisman conducted a 1989 study that found that Playboy had run numerous images and even cartoons depicting children as sexual objects or enjoying themselves as sexual partners of adults. The magazine has celebrated the use of illegal drugs such as LSD and cocaine, and Playboy money has gone into the movements for abortion rights, homosexual rights and legalized drugs, as well as the Democratic Party.
Family Voice Caught in the Web of Porn (May 1st 1997): From Victims to Victors by Rosaline Bush
PLAYBOY BUNNY For eight years, Jackie* lived a sexually promiscuous lifestyle as a Playboy Bunny, frequently visiting Hugh Hefner's mansion. During that time she became suicidal. Jackie confessed that the Playboy magazines she saw in her home as a child gave her a "distorted image of sexuality."
"It enticed me to throw aside my Judeo-Christian ethic . . . and to practice recreational sex with no commitments," Jackie said. Many "bunnies" used abortion as birth control. And one was forced to have "her reproductive organs removed because of venereal disease." Jackie sees the rise in rape, teen pregnancy, drug abuse, abortion, and sexually transmitted diseases as a result of the Playboy philosophy. "It took me close to 20 years," she said, "to undo what was done to me in pornography."
Positive Living (November 1999). A Bunny’s Life. How and why did you tell Playboy you were positive? I had to. I had no choice. I was losing my mind. So finally I did tell them but I told them not to tell anybody else. I needed to explain why I was such an unreliable person. It took them a little while, of course. It had to circulate through Legal and through everything. Granted, they needed to figure out how they were goanna deal with it. They are purveyors of sex, and HIV is a part of sex. The Playboy Foundation stepped in and agreed to sponsor me.
AI News (April 7, 2000). Former Hefner girlfriend Carrie Leigh is suing her one-time lover, along with Playboy Enterprises Inc. for breach of contract after they published a nude photo of her against her wishes. Even after Hefner supposedly had entered into an agreement- stemming from an earlier lawsuit – not to print private photos of his ex-girlfriend. Here’s a man who has stood for free speech,” said Gary Frischer, a spokesman for Playmate Carrie Leigh. “But when it comes to talking about it in a honest manner, he files a motion to seal it from the press. (AINEWS.COM)
Rockwood by Brian Lundmark April 21, 2000 has a joke about Hugh Hefner. “I’m Hugh Hefner! Aauughh! The dead are rising!! Nope! I’m hip again! They’re naming a street after me in Chicago! What is it? “Old Pervo Drive?” “Pervo?” I prefer the term “Lecher!” Hef, Don’t you think it’s a little wrong to be dating a couple of twenty-something twins? I mean, how old are you? 60? 70? Dead?

Inside the Playboy Mansion the video 2001 “There are no skeletons in my life. My life’s an open book.” A message from Jill Ann “then you won’t mine this book since your life is an open book!”
Howard Stern (February 2, 2001) on reports, Howard interview Hugh Hefner and Hef says he hardly ever uses a condom though. He says he always has a close-knit relationship with one or more people and he doesn’t feel he needs a condom.

The Mirror (London, England) February 7th, 2001 Hugh Hefner is boasting that he’s bedding seven women a week after using Viagra. With a little help from the little blue diamond pills, he’s been having regular eight in a bed sex sessions. The ageing Sex guru also claims that you g women today are much healthier and open about sex because they pay less attention to what the church says. He added: “Sex used to be codified and controlled by church and state. Hefner, who lives at the famed Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles, revealed that there is nothing else on his sexual wish list. He added: “I’ve done it all – not including livestock.”
Jay Leno March 2, 2001 Tonight Show "One of Hugh Hefner's seven girlfriends left him to pursue her acting career. I'd think pretending to enjoy sex with Hef would be an acting career."
Vanity Fair March 2001,
Mark”Doc” Saginor “It’s pumping!” He’s taking Hef’s blood pressure, as he does a few nights a week.
Hef refers to his girlfriends to the reporter “Meet Girl Scout Troop 36.”
Hef has left the company to the boys, not her (Christie Hefner), in his will. Christie took over the company in 1988.
In the same article, Regina says “I found my dad’s Playboys under his bed when I was six years old,
Cathi O’Malley says that, “Mostly it’s like being at your grandma’s house… Except for the zoo.” (describing life at the mansion)
Hef has a person on staff (Jenny Lewis) whose job it is to keep a list of women who are welcome to come to his parties and his weekly “Fun in the Sun” Sunday pool event.
During the interview one of the butlers comes in, “Did a doctor call for me today”? Cathi asks. “Yeah, he said you got six months to live,” says the butler. “Oh, good! I went to the gynecologist for the first time. And he said he would call if there was anything wrong—so no news is good news.” “You know how teenagers think they’re invincible. Well, I’m more paranoid now than ever!”
“Oh, I’m just joking,” says Regina. I’m practically as old as you are” –she’s 25; Tina’s 28, and having some trouble getting a definite date from Hef when her centerfold will run. Note from Jill Ann Regina never did get that promised month of being a Centerfold.
Cathi announces brightly “Hey, guys, I can drink tonight!”
Katie Lohmann rolls her eyes. “Oh, great.”
“I had to take antibiotics,” says Cathi, “and I was sick for a while, and I couldn’t drink.”
“And wasn’t able to participate in extracurricular activities!” Regina says.
The girlfriends giggle.
“Clap on, clap off, the clapper!” Katie snorts. “Hello? Chlamydia?” Because she had a bladder infection.”
After he’s gone (meaning Hef),
Tina says, low, “I just started my wardrobe shoot for my centerfold. I’m probably Miss May or June, but we won’t know until after I get my centerfold done…”
Katie pulls the sucker out of her mouth. “I’m Miss April 2001,” she says.
“Ooooof,’ Cathi climbs into the limo parked in the circular driveway. “Thank God they got us a bigger car!” “Now all we need is a bigger bed!” says Tina. Hef cackles.
Vanity Fair, March 2001 continued
Hef is quoted as saying, “I’ve created this incredible machine that brings to me the most beautiful young women in the world, and they come already wanting to be in the magazine or somehow a part of my life. . . . It isn’t politically correct to suggest so, but bisexuality is a choice and it is an adventure- I’ve done it all, not including livestock. No boundary uncrossed.
‘There can be some territorial things between them—we’re sorting through some of that right now—but mostly it’s working out very well.”
“I don’t ever want to get married again. It’s all rooted in the idea of women as a possession, women as a material thing. People project a lot of that into my life, but the truth is, I’m such a romantic, I wear my heart on my sleeve,” he purrs.
In that same article, Buffy Tyler is quoted, “I’ve wanted to be in Playboy since I was, like 13 years old. One day I came out and said, Mom, I’m going to grace the pages of Playboy one day, you watch. It’s hard when you come from a small town and you don’t know what to do a how to meet people, and you don’t know where to go or what to do and then, sure enough, hey, what do you know. I’m here,” Buffy says. “Pretty cool. You know, all my friends used to be, like, O.K., Buffy, whatever – and I’m like, you watch, I’ll get there—.”
USA Today (April 6th 2001), Hef says “They’re girlfriends,” he says. “It’s a typical relationship, times seven.” Tina Jordan lives there at the mansion with her 2 year old daughter and has been dating Hef since August. He then later in the interview goes on to say,” It’s very reciprocal. I don’t think there’s any exploitation going on. It obviously benefits all concerned, or everybody wouldn’t be here and so happy.”
SNL April 9th 2001. Tina Fey (holding up a picture of Hugh Hefner and his seven girlfriends. “Stephanie, Tiffany, Regina, Cathy, Kimberly, Buffy and, of course, Tina. Because wherever two or more whores are gathered, there’s always a Tina. Am I really to believe that these women, each of them, offers you something unique? Let’s go over them. (points to each girlfriend in turn) This one is 19, okay. Two months ago she was working at Dairy Queen. This one… this one isn’t even trying. You are the weakest link – goodbye. This one doesn’t even have a name anymore... she’s just “Girl” She’s there because she knows CPR. At 28 Tina is the oldest and has a two-year-old son. That must be a wonderful way to grow up, playing Fetch the Ashtray with James Caan in the Grotto, while your mom’s upstairs praying for the Viagra to wear off so she can get you to the orthodontist on time. And this one, clearly, this one is willing to do something the others will not do. Whatever the filthiest thing you can think of – it’s a little worse than that, and she’ll let you photograph her doing it. (
Accuracy in Media Report May 1st, 2001. Our media have strange priorities. They ooze with compassion over people getting AIDS, a mostly sexually transmitted disease, but they celebrate the father of the sexual revolution -- Hugh Hefner, who just turned 75 years old. HIV and AIDS are the legacy of Hugh Hefner and his sexual revolution. News reports celebrated his birthday, as if he's someone to be honored and respected. In truth, he's a sick and dirty old man.
The People (London, England August 12, 2001) and; Jordan’s Terror in Playboy Mansion. Beauty tells of her ordeal on trip to tycoon’s home: Hefner, 75, tucked her into bed. Glamour girl Jordan’s stay with Playboy king Hugh Hefner turned into a nightmare – as she lay in bed terrified he would demand sex, the Sunday People can reveal. The lusting tycoon gave the 34FF model a room next to his at his mansion... and insisted on tucking her up at night. It left tearful Jordan in constant fear that Hefner, 75, wanted to add her to the endless list of young beauties he had bedded. A close friend said: “Hefner’s Bunny girls warned her he would try. She was really scared. There was no way she was going to sleep with this old man.” Jordon told pals she: -hated life at the Hollywood mansion after Hefner’s seven resident bunnies taunted her with jokes about their boss liking to “try out” new girls on Tuesdays: Hef had met Jordan when he was on business in London and flew her first-class to California. A friend said: “when Hugh tucked her up in bed, she started getting so worried. She found it really creepy but managed to keep him at bay.
Sunday Mirror (London, England) September 16, 2001 they interviewed Tina Jordan Hef’s number one girl. The writer says; she had already sent photos of herself to Playboy in hope of being picked as a centerfold, which is where her ambitions still lie. She had Hef to herself for a small amount of time “Although not for long. Since Hefner still hand picks all Playboys’ models, he has an inexhaustible supply of women to invite on dates. Two other girls followed, although they too have been replaced, and now the current eight “”Buffy, Kimberly, Regina, Stephanie, Tiffany, Michelle, Dalene and Tina. The Mirror (London, England) June 2, 2001 Sandy Bentley claims he did not have sex with her and her twin sister Mandy. Instead, he liked to watch girls having sex with each other while watching gay porn videos, she said in America’s Philadelphia Magazine. Yesterday Hugh Hefner insisted: “I was sleeping with all of them.”
2002 reports May 3rd 2002 that Dalene Kurtis came into the studio. Dalene was discovered by one of Hugh Hefner’s friend. Gary also told Howard that Dalene was apparently one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends. She said she never had sex with Hef though. She said she didn’t have oral with him either. She said she‘s kissed him in a friendly way and that’s about it. She told Howard she doesn’t like to talk about anything that goes on in the Playboy Mansion! reports Tina Jordan Comes in July 1st 2002. She was Hugh Hefner’s “A-girl” meaning that she was his main girlfriend for a year and a half. She said she was actually paid while she was dating him. She said she did have sex with him and all of his girlfriends have sex with him even if they don’t admit it on the air like some have in the past.
The Current (September 9th 2002) University of Missouri Student Newspaper by Becky Rosner; Playboy Bunny Exposes All. “Everyone makes mistakes, but they are not all life changing.”

2003 on February 2, 2003 Under Hef’s Special Ladies the following girls are listed as being his special ladies. Janet Pilgrim Joyce Nizzari Joni Mattis Cynthia Maddox Donna Michelle Mary Warren Barbi Benton Karen Christy Sondra Theodore Heather Waite Shannon Tweed Carrie Leigh Kimberley Conrad Hefner The Foursome The Party Posse The Foursome includes the following names. Sandy and Mandy Bentley, Brande Roderick and Hugh Hefner. On the the Party Posse is described by Playboy in this way. Hef wasn't single for long. He has since built a rotating girlfriend super group. The evolving Party Posse, which has comprised as many as six girls at a time and as few as three, lives at the Mansion and accompanies Hef everywhere he goes, from Movie Night at the Mansion to the hottest L.A. nightclubs. The Party Posse on February 2, 2003 is an ever changing group which included the following names Buffy Tyler, Katie Lohmann, Cathi O’Malley, Regina Lauren, Tiffany Holliday, Stephanie Heinrich, Dalene Kurtis, Kimberley Stanfield and Tina Jordan his main girlfriend.
Steppin Out Magazine Interviews (April 3rd 2002) Tara Reid on “Yes. Maxim is like what Playboy was when it was still classy, back in the day.” May 18 2003 (this is the entire article so it needs to be cute down to make sure not to have copyright infringement “Ever wondered what it is like to be one of Hugh Hefner's barely legal blonde girlfriends? Here's the inside scoop from someone who knows:
“'Hef isn't all that. The (currently 7 I believe) blondes who live at the mansion are on a payroll ($1000/wk), plus they each get use of a company car, medical and dental insurance, make-up artists and personal stylists for the nights when he takes the girls out. In return, they live like virtual slaves. If he wants to have dinner at 7 pm, then they have to be back at the mansion and dressed for dinner by 7 pm or they are locked out for the night. He has to approve of their outfits before they go out as well. They watch what he wants to watch - even if its porn that makes then feel uncomfortable, eat what he wants to eat, go to bed when he wants to go to bed. Competition between the girls is cut-throat. Shampoo being replaced by Nair, clothes be shredded, nasty rumors spread, etc. It's like the pin-up girl version of Survivor. Most don't last too long under that sort of pressure because it's like living in a war zone. Hef pretends to be sympathetic, but it doesn't take a shrink to figure out he gets off on these young women fighting over "him". None of the girls are allowed to have any sort of porn or S/M background. Posing for pics is OK, but he looks down on women who fuck for money. He doesn't see the hypocrisy of his living situation. He only fucks 3 of "his" girls - the rest are expected to put on shows for him every night, whether they are attracted to each other or not. He pops Viagra like he owns stock in the company.'
The Washington Post (September 8th 2003) by Peter Carlson, Hef said the following; “Chronologically, I’m seventy-seven, but in reality I’m a very young man. I may be wearing this old face and body but I’m still the same guy. Well, I am still the same guy. …Power has not corrupted me. I have not been jaded.”
College Times September 24-30, 2003 Playboy babe-finding team has been searching this great nation to find a babe who is sufficiently babe-a-licious to become the official 50th Anniversary Playmate of the Month, for the January issue. – has held tryouts in 20 cities. Comment from Jill Ann. I met Colleen Shannon at a party at the Palms on 5/30/2004. She was not aware who I was and she introduced herself as the 50th Playmate for Playboy. So how did you get picked? She said her agent which of course had invited me up to meet her in the first place. The same guy that was also the agent for Tina Jordan, Angelica Bridges and others that was described as the low scum of the earth by my makeup artist had seen me walking by at the Palms and asked me to join him and to meet his girlfriend. Colleen Shannon. So how did you get picked? I asked. She said well Dove had hooked me up with Playboy and I was going to have him submit my pictures for do a pictorial for a group of female DJ’s and instead her boyfriend got her the 50th anniversary gig instead. He’s friends with Hef. I said I know. She suddenly seemed to not so happy that I knew that information. I tried to press a little more. Oh so you didn’t have to be part of the state by state search. No she replied and the funniest thing is I got to be a DJ in the shoot anyways so it was really cool. She began to turn and talk to her friend. Jill Ann’s personal comment “nice how Hef went all across the US and happen to find a girl in LA! Wow that is so amazing!”
All Night Clubs ( December 21st, 2003After pouring over test shots of nearly 10,000 hopefuls, Playboy magazine has named Colleen Shannon, a 25-year-old DJ from California, its 50th Anniversary Playmate. Miss January 2004 is featured in an eight-page pictorial in Playboy's Fiftieth Anniversary issue. Playboy photographers spent an exhaustive four months visiting 20 North American cities and scrutinizing the hundreds of photo submissions, all in search of a woman who invoked both the classic Playboy beauty and represented the ideal for the next half-century of Playboy Centerfolds. She currently lives in Los Angeles where she works as a DJ spinning at local clubs.
Globe, December 30, 2003, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door Madison who is young enough to be his granddaughter. “We have sex every night and girls join us a couple of times a week,” says 23-year-old Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door. Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door says she’s Hef’s main squeeze, but the bunny master, also has five other regular gal pals – Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, Crystal, Isabella, Zoe and Sheila. They regularly join Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door and Hef in his massive bed at the sex-sational Playboy mansion L.A. “We’re very much in love,” she sighs. “The age difference doesn’t bother me at all. He’s so romantic and generous. We really have a normal relationship in many ways. He just dates other girls.” In fact, the only time they fight is over women. “Girls literally throw themselves at him every time we go out,” she says. “He often invites one to come back home to bed with us, and if she’s really pushy or not very nice, I get upset.”


Hot Stuff January 19, 2004 Hefner is quoted as saying, “Britney would make a great girlfriend.” (Referring to Britney Spears). The playboy poobah told Hot Stuff that he’s hot for Spears. And of course, Hefner wouldn’t mind landing Spears as a future Playmate, along with Oscar-winner Catherine Zeta-Jones.
New York Daily News February 11th 2004 writes the following Playboy rep Bill Farley said: “The fact that Hugh Hefner may have seen adult gay movies and may have even enjoyed them is kind of a no-brainer- that’s his job! Hugh Hefner is an expert of human sexuality.” Note from Jill Ann Mr. Farley is his job to watch Gay Porn during his sex with Females?
Steppin out Magazine (February 24th 2004) Interview by Chauncé Hayden. Victoria Zdrok former Playmate and now Penthouse Pet of the Year at age 30 in 2004. She received a letter from Hef after posing for Penthouse saying “I was one of the best and brightest playmates and that he was so sorry to see me venture into porn.” Isn’t that hypocritical? Victoria Zdrok commented. She comments “They never promoted me because I wasn’t part of the (Playboy) mansion crowd. I refused to drop my education to go and hang out at the mansion. That’s how a lot of the girls in Playboy get ahead. It’s because they’re always at the mansion hanging out with Hefner’s friends. More comments from this interview: Playmates can’t tell the real story about what goes on at a Playboy mansion party.
Victoria: Hef is very voyeuristic. He likes to watch women together and he likes to watch gay porn. He likes to watch all kinds of gay porn.
Chaunce: Are you joking?
Victoria: No. If you interview some of the Playmates from earlier times, they’ll tell you how he would have threesomes with men. Sondra Theodore, one of his old girlfriends, would bring guys in all the time to join them.
More comments:
Victoria: Many many many playmates have told me he watches gay porn.
More comments:
Girls have told me he also likes to videotape everything that goes on in his bedroom and then review it. Who knows, maybe one of these days those videotapes will surface.
NY Daily March 2nd, 2004. News reported that Victoria Zdrok says Hef and Playboy are trying to sabotage her planned New York Supermodel Expo by telling former Playmates to stay away. Since Hef and Victoria had clashed she reveilead a letter directly from Hef reading “Dear Victoria,” Hef wrote in a March 2000 letter that Zdrok held up to the camera. “I’m really sorry to learn of your venture into porn. I’ve always felt you were one of the best and brightest of Playboy’s Playmates and I hate to see you take this step that will obviously hurt your reputation and ours.” March 5, 2004 writes Welcome to the world of Hugh Hefner and his Playboy paradise: a world of ceiling mirrors, silk sheets, and centerfold girlfriends. Jill Ann comment is this is often what people think that his girlfriends are centerfolds. No one stops to notice that they are girlfriends then they are centerfolds. 1 in 100 are centerfolds and then decide to shake up with Hef. April 1st 2003 reports Tina Jordan was interviewed by Howard Stern and she said that a lot of girls claim that they don’t have sex with Hef but they all do. She said it happened overnight and she moved right in (to the mansion that is) She said she didn’t waste any time before she let him bang her. Howard wondered if it was any good. She gave a look that Howard took as meaning it wasn’t good. She said she also got paid to be there. She said the money would be left in an envelope for her. She said that she doesn’t know why Hef’s girlfriends lie about not sleeping with Hef. She said they all do and doesn’t understand why they’d lie about that. She said she made close to $100,000 a year during her stay. Tina said that the other girls (Hef’s girlfriends) aren’t supposed to date other guys but some of them end up doing that.
Larry Flynt July 2004 in his new book “Sex, Lies & Politics the Naked Truth has this to say about Hugh Hefner’s magazine. Hugh Hefner is considered a pornographer, but Hefner dressed up his porn by using very high-quality photographs, wrapped around sophisticated articles with socially redeeming value.
Fleshbot (After August 6, 2004) Update Stephanie Adams the Black Playmate that was the first Lesbian Playmate to ever come out was very upset about my book. She writes to the following. “I think that it is horrible for someone to reveal someone else's private information, especially if that person discussed is not doing something against anyone else's will. I hope she enjoys her few moments of fame ..."I am horrified over her allegations of most playmates. Regardless of whether it is true or not, it is no one else's business to know. If you ever need a playmate to speak up in front of the media, please let me know. Jill Ann’s response to her is lucky for you he doesn’t like black chicks.
The Mirror (London, England August 17, 2004) Even a new book by former Playboy Model Jill Ann Spaulding, which claims the mansion is a place where dangerous sex is traded for stardom, has not dented Hef’s belief that he is simply offering each and every girl her dream come true. Hef’s nightcap is a sex romp with a group of nubile wannabes.
Arizona Republic (October 7, 2004). Palms is dedicating an entire 40-story tower to Playboy and at the top a 12,000 sq ft. which will be a two story suite named “The Hugh Hefner Sky Villa” The Playboy tower will include a new nightclub, boutique casino and lounge, along with a Playboy store, said Bill Farley, Playboy’s vice president of marketing events. Will open early 2006. Palms owner commented that He’s (hef) going to make it his home away from home.”
MSNBC (November 2, 2004) reports our source says, and also remembers Hilton saying. “This party is so [bleeping] lame. We are the only cool people here.” Talking about a Playboy Mansion party she was attending.
Citizen Culture Magazine Press Release (November 16, 2004). From the magazine’s Press release it said the following; Divini Rae Sorenson’s says the story is "fictional," but others have said that similar events have actually happened in Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion. Divini Rae may have written the story as fiction to protect herself. The history of scandal and abuse at the Playboy Mansion is legendary. Everyone from Gloria Steinem, former Playmates and former Playboy PR executives have reported through the media inappropriate happenings behind close doors. Most recently, Paris Hilton announced to the world that she was assaulted at the 2004 Playboy Mansion Halloween Party. Her story is titled “The Golden Cage” by Divini Rae Sorenson. Scintillating, controversial “fictional” story detailing forced sex, scandal and abuse inside a nude men’s magazine “palace,” by the November 2003 Playboy Playmate of the Month.
Page Six November 24, 2004. Divini Rae Sorenson, Playmate of November 2003 writes of mandatory orgies, drugging, molestation and other sordid details of life at the Playboy Mansion-like sin palace. While Playboy execs have not yet seen Sorenson’s story, the advance press release already has Hefner on a tear. The sultan of skin Fed Ex-ed her a furious letter threatening legal action as soon as it hit the wires.
Fleshbot (November 24, 2004) Miss November 2003 turned mainstream model writes a fictionalized account of "mandatory orgies, drugging, molestation and other sordid details of life at a Playboy Mansion-like sin palace," according to Page Six. The Playboy folks are said to be "on a tear" about the story.
Citizen Culture November 2004. (this is just some of the article please read the rest for more detail) Written by Divini Rae Sorenson. This story is supposed to be factiously written. I must however list many of the similarities and things written in this that happen to be very similar to my information and experiences as well. “They want you to shoot a nude pictorial” “Stay in the guesthouse while shooting” “I knew the magazine had a positive reputation and that the pictorials were tastefully.” A few other similarities were the owner of the magazine was also the creator and everyone called him by his first name which was a smaller version of his name. Another thing listed in her Fictional story is “After watching the documentaries and reading a great variety of news articles, opinion pieces, and exposes, I approached the coming week with a generally positive outlook. My comment is how many men’s nude magazines have had documentaries to watch, and all this other stuff? “In the documentaries the Palace always looked grandiose, the parties held there fabulous.” How many other nude magazines have documentaries of lavish parties? “Known as the quintessential bachelor, with a constant stream of ten or more girlfriends living with him in the Palace at any one time.” Again sounds like Hef to me? “Pulling up to the wrought iron gates of the Palace” Hello? Another similarity that they could not “leave the Palace without first getting his permission.” “a Palace security guard would be with the girl every moment, monitoring her activities for the report he was to give Charlie later” “No Toys (including Charlie’s girlfriends) were allowed to stay away past 8 P.M. “It didn’t take long to grasp that this regulation and many others were actually rooted in Charlie’s controlling, jealous, egomania.” “If any among the Palace’s male staff were seen conversing with one of Charlie’s girlfriends, the toys, or any female gusts for longer than five minutes, their employment would be terminated.” Lists that they were financially cared for but miserable. “How Charlie made them engage in orgies with him twice a week.” Lists Charlie as “Sexually dysfunctional, despite a spate of pharmaceutical remedies.” Talks about “required sex nights” and “girlfriends performing sexual acts on each other and on Charlie according to his own personal, kinky predilections. Hence, his girlfriends didn’t call him “the asshole” for nothing.” Which in Jill Ann’s terms means he likes anal sex. “Charlie expected Toys to join in the dreaded orgy nights. Although he wouldn’t force Toys to participate, he insisted they “observe” “Most of Charlie’s girlfriends admitted to hating Charlie.” One of Charlie’s girlfriends said “if I stay maybe Charlie will let me shoot a Toy pictorial and then I can get rich and famous.” Maura which was another Toy admitted “Pinky, Charlie’s most devious girlfriend, had insisted that she should come up to the bedroom “to watch.” Maura was handed a drink, then awoke much later lying naked and groggy in Charlie’s bedroom closet. The next day Maura asked if she could go home but was denied.” She had already signed the modeling contract and was told if she leaved she would owe them thousands of dollars in lost revenue. “A few of Charlie’s girlfriends confirmed to Maura that she had indeed been drugged and molested the previous night.” She found out she had one the “Toy for a Moment Longer Pictorial.” Two days into the shoot she received a phone call that the shoot would now be called a “test shoot.” “She would not be the official winner until Charlie had finalized his decision.” “It was a test indeed—of the moral sort.” “The studio employee said. “As you know, Charlie doesn’t insisted that a Toy of the Moment be intimated with him. However, if a girl wants to win the annual award she will need to be intimate with Charlie. I’m not advocating that or anything; it’s entirely up to you how much you want the title and the money.” “Toys are paid to promote the myth and legends of Charles Lester and his company. I’ve never met any employee of Toys for Boys who was willing to go public with the truth about the company’s seedy internal goings-on in the face of Charlie’s wrath and a subsequent lawsuit.” She states in the story that the audience doesn’t want to “pull back the rug, expose the dirt, and taint the fantasy.” “Men around the world idolize, emulate, even admit wanting to be Charlie Lester.” She states he is “the loneliest individual, living a façade of a life created for show, in which no one truly loves him and he truly loves no one.” “Has been described by colleagues, friends, and employees as manipulative, cold, heartless, mercurial, soulless, insecure, insincere, narcissistic, controlling, lonely and misogynistic.”
The Party Posse now on December 16, 2004 lists the following three girls Kendra Wilkinson, Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door Madison and Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door Marquardt.
From December 16th 2004. Who owns Playboy? Playboy is owned by Playboy Enterprises Inc., a global media and entertainment company. PEI also operates the Playboy Catalog; creates and distributes programming for domestic pay television, worldwide home video and international television; and markets the Playboy trademarks on apparel, accessories and other products sold throughout the world. PEI's net revenues in 2002 were $278 million, and its stock is traded on the New York Stock Exchange (PSE: PLA A, PLA)
National Enquirer December 20, 2004; although, Kimberley and Hefner, 78, separated six years ago, they haven't divorced. She still lives on the grounds of his Los Angeles estate with their children. “Hugh wasn’t very pleased when he learned that Kimberley was seriously dating his close friend Quincy,” said the friend.

Hugh M. Hefner (August 16, 2004) Letter from Hugh M. Hefner to a fan. The fan wrote him a letter after reading my book and this is some of what Hefner had to say. “The suggestion that having sex with me will get anyone in the magazine is simply untrue” “Who do you think is being exploited here?” My reply to Hef is yes not anyone but maybe the pretty one’s right Hef! And as for being exploited isn’t that what you have been doing for years to women?
Hef’s Little Black Book written by Hugh M. Hefner and Bill Zehme (2004) Page 32 “Don’t make a pass at another woman while in the presence of your date. It’s demeaning to you and to her as well.” Page 37-38 “He (Hef) has never, in fact, actually left a relationship besides the very first one, his early marriage to Millie. Since then, they have all left him, largely because not one of them could make him hers alone.” Page 153 talking about Hef “He was a sex junkie with an insatiable habit.” Page 154 Hef saying “There would be times; I would be romantically involved with maybe eleven of the twelve Playmates of the Year.”
Page 157 “A large television screen is important for your X-rated videos.” “Also listing on this page his use of Hitachi Wand Vibrator and Baby Oil as well. Tells that the toys were for unattended-to-participants. “Granted, when there are six girls and one guy, what are you gonna do? Page 160 “I’ve never been a big prophylactic man. I’ve never had a problem with sexually transmitted diseases. It has to do with taking care of business: Page 161 “So many young people were waiting for me to come out and play. It was like spotting Elvis at the supermarket.’ Page 165 “Women come to me with the expectation of having muti-partner sex, but that’s more true today than at any other time in my life. Page 170 “oftentimes whenever sex started in his bedroom, he would flip a switch and a video camera embedded in the wall began to capture the magic unfolding. Page 173 “it’s a good idea not to fall asleep while you’re actually having intercourse. Not very polite. It’s not a good idea to fall asleep in the middle of a conversation with a girlfriend, either.”
Financial Daily from THE HINDU group of publications Thursday, Feb 03, 2005 Remember me when I’m Gone. "I'd like to be remembered as someone who played some part in changing our hurtful and hypocritical views on sex — and had a lot of fun doing it."


February 15, 2005

Saginor’s daughter Jennifer is writing a book. About growing up inside the mansion. Personal Slaves, $2,000 a week, blaring porno, dozen ladies cheering the doers on.

Mark Saginor, the Playboy Mansion’s in-house doc.

Miscellaneous Stuff

Page Six August 6, 2004. Response from Hugh Hefner
But Hefner shrugged off Spaulding’s stories. “I have not read the book, but some of my girlfriends have. It’s a silly book and they laugh at it. This is a lady who wrote me a letter requesting an opportunity to stay here. She sent a nude picture and was here for about three days.

“She didn’t look like her picture. She was not somebody I was interested in and this is the fallout of it all. She’s picked up gossip and imaginings, etcetera and kind of made it up as she went along… I understand (why she wrote the book.) To get a life.”
August 12 2004 The New York Times. Response from Bill Farley Vice President of Playboy. The Playboy vice president Bill Farley said that Ms. Spaulding had visited the manse but "three times," and that Hef thinks she has a wonderful imagination.

August 17, 2004 The New York Times. Response from Hugh Hefner about my book.

We put in a call to Mr. Hefner. He told us that Ms. Spaulding's claim that women traded sex for an appearance in the magazine was untrue. He also said that Ms. Spaulding had written to him, asking to be invited to the mansion, including a nude photo with her request.

"The real point of all this is she was somebody I was not interested in and made no sexual overtures to," Mr. Hefner said. "She asked if she could come upstairs when I took the girlfriends upstairs. I let her."

Girlfriends? Was this actually with 10 girls?

"It's certainly possible," Mr. Hefner said. "I think on the occasion when she came out, there were 10 or 11 girls.

And he had sex with all of them?

"I'm not sure about that," Mr. Hefer said. 'But all these girls are part of an inner circle. In the time frame in which she's talking about, I had seven regular girlfriends."

But Wait, if he wasn't interested in her, why did he ask her to come up?

Mr. Hefner laughed.

"I am a very classy guy. I had no interest whatsoever, but having invited her to the house, I did what I thought was the gentlemanly thing"

By Bill Muehlenberg - posted Thursday, January 20, 2005 Kinsey of course is the notorious American sexologist (1894-1956), whose agenda was to soften up the public to the view that any and every sort of sexuality is permissible. He sought to convince us that there is no norm when it comes to human sexuality, and that we should embrace any sexual expression whatsoever.
Here are some of his “findings”:
• All orgasms are “outlets” and are equally valid - whether between husband and wife, boy and dog, man and man or adult and child - for in sexual expression, normal is individually determined.
• The more “outlets,” the healthier the person - and beginning as early as possible is better than waiting.
• Human beings are naturally bisexual. Religious bigotry and prejudice force people into chastity, heterosexuality and monogamy.
• There is no medical or other reason for adult-child sex or incest to be forbidden.
People like Hugh Hefner of Playboy fame of course helped to carry out this agenda. And today we see the result of this social and sexual revolution: broken families; marriage disintegration; a tsunami of pornography, including child pornography; an epidemic of promiscuity and sexually transmitted diseases; skyrocketing abortion rates; a crisis in teenage pregnancies; an explosion of rape and sexual assault; and a culture that believes that hedonism is the highest good, and self control and restraint the greatest evil.

Miscellaneous: Searching the web I came across to see that 2003 trading cards were a who’s who of girls that I have personally seen naked. The 2003 Kiss cards total of 16 cards, not only included many of the girls I seen upstairs in his bedroom but many that came after I left and were their before I had arrived.. I guess maybe Hef has cards to keep all the girls names in order. Names including Renee Sloan, Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door, Zoe Gregory Paul, Sheila Smith, Tina Jordan and his number one gal Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door Madison!

My publicist received a cautionary email suggesting her to stop representing me. This is just a little bit of it. “Playboy’s tentacles stretch far & wide. It may not be in your best long term interest to continue to publicly support one of Hef’s enemies.”
U.S. Surgeon General “When you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have had sex with for the last ten years, and everyone they and their partners have had sex with for the last ten years.” C. Everett Koop, M.D., former U.S. Surgeon General.
Email (August 13, 2004) My Entertainment Lawyer that looked over the book before letting it be released to the public wrote me this email. “In the small world of things, I just spoke with one of my friends whom I introduced you to at Book Expo. He gave your book to his son who was in L.A. The son goes to some fancy bar and in walks Hef with his entourage. The son happens to end up speaking to one of the playmates and tells her what you say in your book. The playmate says it is all true. It is a small world.”
Carrie Leigh's Hugh Hefner Haikus This is just some of the Poem. Just small sections of it.
His tongue slithers, gaunt
Voluptuary, ugly
Old man, my eyes close

Thin bottled semen,
He wants to plant it, deeply
In my flat belly

Hugh junior, and, or
Carietta, a child is
Packed in dry blue ice

In silk pajamas
They have an emperor's crest
It is dark in there

As I run away,
From the gaudy prison cell,
Of tinsel and skin

The Hollywood Extra (the Hollywood The Hefner Movie. Vince Burlap and his roommate were cast from Mojo Extras Agency to the movie set of “The Hefner Principal.” They were to show up at the mansion at 5:30 AM. We quickly found out the subject of the new film: the life of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, starring Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks in full makeup, rehearsing one of the last scenes in the film. “The Hefner Principal” is one of the biggest Disney production of the year.

Letters between too girls that have never met. Concerning Hugh Hefner. 2004 (not to SPI BOOKS, only some of it can be used due to copyright, but the letter two her I have written permission to use it all it is just Victoria’s response that I don’t have an authorization yet.

Jill Ann, (2004)
This is the email. What I wrote to her first, and what she wrote back. As you will see she is very bright and articulate.
Hope you find it insightful!

You wrote:
"I saw you on Centerfold Babylon on VH1, and the fact that Hugh Hefner banned you from the mansion is exactly why I can't stand that man. He is a phony hypocrite! He talks all fancy and brags about himself, and says he helps liberate women, but if a playmate goes into porn, he blackballs them.
Meanwhile, they did a whole Pictorial in Playboy of Porn stars, in 2002, and porn stars work for playboy on their TV station, and I do believe porn stars get invited to his parties! But the former playmates like you or linn or Teri weigel get in trouble for it. He's probably one of the grossest most despicable people on the planet. I honestly have nothing bad to say about bob Guccione or Larry Flynt; they don't cross the line of mixing business w/ pleasure.
Everyone knows Hugh Hefner pimps the centerfolds out to his friends and any Hollywood bigwig who goes to his parties. He's like the Al Capone of Hollywood. You as a lawyer ought to go after him! That would be cool! You'd probably win too! He really makes my skin crawl, and not the same way as most women. Most women hate him for feminist reasons. I just think he's obnoxious and a hypocrite. Playboy itself is a very good magazine, but it's amazing how he lives such a deviant life, while the publishers of penthouse and hustler live pretty normal lives, not involved w/ their business.
Is the stuff he does even the truth though? I hear it's an act. I also hear his girlfriends live like slaves. Well good luck to you, and I hope you agree
W/ what I'm saying, because it’s in your favor."

Hi, you are absolutely right about Hefner being the king of hypocrisy, but you don't know the half of it. According to published reports from some of his "ex-girlfriends" (especially Sandy Bentley) and some unpublished reports I have gotten from other playmates, Hef is mostly into voyeurism these days. He demands that his Playmate and Playmate-wanna-be "girlfriends" go down on each other while he watches them and masturbates, or else he masturbates to gay male porn videos. Hef is known to be bi-sexual in his tastes. Moreover, he pays his live-in “girlfriends" $10,000 a month to perform these acts, as well as to act as his arm candy for the parties he throws and for his weekly nightclub runs. Yet, if a Playmate were to act in a girl/girl scene on video or for magazines, he labels that "porn" and ostracizes them. If a Playmate would perform for other men as they do for Hef for $10K a month, I am sure he would "banish" them also. And, you are right, Playboy's profits, which pay Hef millions a year and cover the Mansion expenses, are mostly from their hardcore porn TV channels (Vivid, Spice, etc.) and video sales. The magazine and Playboy On-Line lose money every year. So the Viagra Bunny is really a hypocritical porn lover.
Psychologically, one could say that Hef is growing senile in trying to recreate his youth with paid Playmate escorts and porn-driven masturbation sessions, while maintaining a public facade of being a Puritan on sex by the way he wants the Playmates to be viewed. However, his is just an extreme example of the hypocrisy within American society in general. For all the talk about "family values" mouthed by politicians and church leaders, a huge number of Americans--and probably most of those politicians and church leaders--buy porn videos and DVD's or download porn from the internet. More American dollars are spent on porn than on mainstream movies or TV. That is because the more human beings try to deny their natural and inate sexuality, the more they are drawn to the "forbidden fruit" of illicit, and often kinky, sex. I think it is time we women stood up and told off these male hypocrites. I am starting a new website,, to explore these issues; and I hope you will join me there--as well as to join me in my weekly member’s chats on!
xoxoxoxo Victoria Z - the hottest place in cyberspace!

Playboy girl email to me. “I, too, am one of the blondes who gets invited to Hef’s parties on a regular basis. “It saddens me that people buy into his glorified lifestyle – especially since it’s not at all what it seems. I think the parties are kind of lame, actually. The fun part is to walk around and see what some celebs look like in real life. People used to snicker that ‘the old fart doesn’t have sex with those chicks, it’s only for show’ after Hef is gone, I’m sure plenty more girls are going to come out of the woodwork with their tell-all stories. Until then, we can only hope that people will stop treating him like he’s some kind of Sexual Semi-God, especially since what he really does is engaging in prostitution. People can call it whatever they want, but any old man with money can buy hookers here in L.A. – and its spelled prostitution!! I will be happy to write a review for your website if you need one. Just so that people know that your story is accurate. Additional email “Jenny did however always call me for the Sundays Fun in the Sun, like clockwork.” She added in an additional email the following “I wish I could use my own name, but I absolutely can’t, because I still want to keep on going to the parties!!!”

It is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the United States. Three out of every four people will get the virus at some point in their lives. HPV leads to 99.7 percent of cases of cervical cancer. Most Alarming there is no known cure for the virus.
It’s almost impossible to be sexually active and not get exposed at some point,” says Thomas Cox, M.D. directory of the gynecology clinic at the University of California in Santa Barbara.

History of the Playmates from the beginning.
DEC Marilyn Monroe (SweetheartOfTheMonth)
JAN Margie Harrison
FEB Margaret Scott
MAR Dolores Del Monte
APR Marilyn Waltz(Margeret Scott)
MAY Joanne Arnold
JUN Margie Harrison
JUL Neva Gilbert
AUG Arline Hunter
SEP Jackie Rainbow
OCT Madeline Castle
NOV Diane Hunter
DEC Terry Ryan
JAN Bettie Page
FEB Jayne Mansfield
APR Marilyn Waltz(Margaret Scott)
MAY Marguerite Empey
JUN Eve Mayer
JUL Janet Pilgrim
AUG Pat Lawler
SEP Anne Fleming
OCT Jean Moorehead
NOV Barbara Cameron
DEC Janet Pilgrim
JAN Lynn Turner
FEB Marguerite Empey
MAR Marian Stafford
APR Rusty Fisher
MAY Marion Scott
JUN Gloria Walker
JUL Alice Denham
AUG Jonnie Nicely
SEP Elsa Sorensen
OCT Janet Pilgrim
NOV Betty Blue
DEC Lisa Winters
JAN June Blair
FEB Sally Todd
MAR Sandra Edwards
APR Gloria Edwards(Windsor)
MAY Dawn Richard
JUN Carrie Radison
JUL Jean Jani
AUG Delores Donlon
SEP Jaquelyn Prescott
OCT Colleen Farrington
NOV Marlene Callahan
DEC Linda Vargas
JAN Elizabeth Ann Roberts
FEB Cheryl Kubert
MAR Zahra Norbo
APR Felicia Atkins
MAY Lari Laine
JUN Judy Lee Tomerlin
JUL Linne Nanette Ahlstrand
AUG Myrna Weber
SEP Teri Hope
OCT Pat Sheehan & Mara Corday
NOV Joan Staley
DEC Joyce Nizzari
JAN Virginia Gordon
FEB Eleanor Bradley
MAR Audrey Daston
APR Nancy Crawford
MAY Cindy Fuller
JUN Marilyn Hanold
JUL Yvette Vickers
AUG Clayre Peters
SEP Marianne Gaba
OCT Elaine Reynolds
NOV Donna Lynn
DEC Ellen Stratton(POY 1960)
JAN Stella Stevens
FEB Susie Scott
MAR Sally Sarell
APR Linda Gamble(POY 1961)
MAY Ginger Young
JUN Delores Wells
JUL Teddi Smith
AUG Elaine Paul
SEP Anne Davis
OCT Kathy Douglas
NOV Joni Mattis
DEC Carol Eden
JAN Connie Cooper
FEB Barbara Lawford
MAR Tonya Crews
APR Nancy Nielsen
MAY Susan Kelly
JUN Heidi Becker
JUL Sheralee Conners
AUG Karen Thompson
SEP Christa Speck(POY 1962)
OCT Jean Cannon
NOV Diane Danford
DEC Lynn Karrol
JAN Merle Pertile
FEB Kari Knudsen
MAR Pamela Anne Gordon
APR Roberta Lane
MAY Marya Carter
JUN Melissa Mathes
JUL Unne Terjeson
AUG Jan Roberts
SEP Mickey Winters
OCT Laura Young
NOV Avis Kimble
DEC June Cochran(POY 1963)
JAN Judi Monterey
FEB Toni Ann Thomas
MAR Adrienne Moreau
APR Sandra Settani
MAY Sharon Cintron
JUN Connie Mason
JUL Carrie Enwright
AUG Phyllis Sherwood
SEP Victoria Valentino
OCT Christine Williams
NOV Terre Tucker
DEC Donna Michelle(POY 1964)
JAN Sharon Rogers
FEB Nancy Jo Hooper
MAR Nancy Scott
APR Ashlyn Martin
MAY Terri Kimball
JUN Lori Winston
JUL Melba Ogle
AUG China Lee
SEP Astrid Schulz
OCT Rosemarie Hillcrest
NOV Kai Brendlinger
DEC Jo Collins(POY 1965)
1965 JAN Sally Duberson
FEB Jessica Saint George
MAR Jennifer Jackson
APR Sue Williams
MAY Maria McBain
JUN Hedy Scott
JUL Gay Collier
AUG Lannie Balcom
SEP Patti Reynolds
OCT Allison Parks(POY 1966)
NOV Pat Russo
DEC Dinah Willis
JAN Judy Tyler
FEB Melinda Windsor
MAR Priscilla Wright
APR Karla Conway
MAY Dolly Read
JUN Kelly Burke
JUL Tish Howard
AUG Susan Denberg
SEP Dianne Chandler
OCT Linda Moon
NOV Lisa Baker(POY 1967)
DEC Susan Bernard
JAN Surrey Marsh
FEB Kin Farber
MAR Fran Gerard
APR Gwen Wong
MAY Anne Randall
JUN Joey Gibson
JUL Heather Ryan
AUG DeDe Lind
SEP Angela Dorian(POY 1968)
OCT Reagan Wilson
NOV Kaya Christian
DEC Lynn Winchell
JAN Connie Kreski(POY 1969)
FEB Nancy Harwood
MAR Michelle Hamilton
APR Gaye Rennie
MAY Elizabeth Jordan
JUN Britt Fredriksen
JUL Melodye Prentiss
AUG Gale Olson
SEP Dru Hart
OCT Majken Haugedal
NOV Paige Young
DEC Cynthia Myers
JAN Leslie Bianchini
FEB Lorrie Menconi
MAR Kathy MacDonald
APR Lorna Hopper
MAY Sally Sheffield
JUN Helena Antonaccio
JUL Nancy McNeil
AUG Debbie Hooper
SEP Shay Knuth
OCT Jean Bell
NOV Claudia Jennings(POY 1970)
DEC Gloria Root
JAN Jill Taylor
FEB Linda Forsythe
MAR Christine Koren
APR Barbara Hillary
MAY Jennifer Liano
JUN Elaine Morton
JUL Carol Willis
AUG Sharon Olivia Clark(POY 1971)
SEP Debbie Ellison
OCT Mary & Madeline Collinson
NOV Avis Miller
DEC Carol Imhof
JAN Liv Lindeland(POY 1972)
FEB Willy Rey
MAR Cynthia Hall
APR Chris Cranston
MAY Janice Pennington
JUN Lieko English
JUL Heather Van Every
AUG Cathy Rowland
SEP Crystal Smith
OCT Claire Rambeau
NOV Danielle De Vabre
DEC Karen Christy
1972 JAN Marilyn Cole(POY 1973)
FEB P.J. Lansing
MAR Ellen Michaels
APR Vicki Peters
MAY Deanna Baker
JUN Debbie Davis
JUL Carol O'Neal
AUG Linda Summers
SEP Susan Miller
OCT Sharon Johansen
NOV Lenna Sjooblom
DEC Mercy Rooney
1973 JAN Miki Garcia
FEB Cyndi Wood(POY 1974)
MAR Bonnie Large
APR Julie Woodson
MAY Anulka Dziubinska
JUN Ruthy Ross
JUL Martha Smith
AUG Phyllis Coleman
SEP Geri Glass
OCT Valerie Lane
NOV Monica Tidwell
DEC Christine Maddox
1974 JAN Nancy Cameron
FEB Francine Parks
MAR Pamela Zinszer
APR Marlene Morrow
MAY Marilyn Lange(POY 1975)
JUN Sandy Johnson
JUL Carol Vitale
AUG Jean Manson
SEP Kristine Hanson
OCT Ester Corder
NOV Bebe Buell
DEC Janice Raymond
1975 JAN Lynnda Kimball
FEB Laura Misch
MAR Ingeborg Sorenson
APR Victoria Cunningham
MAY Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door Rollins
JUN Azizi Johari
JUL Lynn Schiller
AUG Lillian Muller(POY 1976)
SEP Mesina Miller
OCT Jill De Vries
NOV Janet Lupo
DEC Nancie Li Brandi
1976 JAN Daina House
FEB Laura Lyons
MAR Ann Pennington
APR Denise Michele
MAY Patricia Margot McClain
JUN Debra Peterson
JUL Holly Borkman
AUG Linda Beatty
SEP Whitney Kaine
OCT Hope Olson
NOV Patti McGuire(POY 1977)
DEC Karen Hafter
1977 JAN Susan Lynn Kiger
FEB Star Stowe
MAR Nicki Thomas
APR Lisa Sohm
MAY Sheila Mullen
JUN Virve Reid
JUL Sondra Theodore
AUG Julia Lyndon
SEP Debra Jo Fondren(POY 1978)
OCT Kristine Winder
NOV Rita Lee
DEC Ashey Cox
1978 JAN Debra Jensen
FEB Janis Schmitt
MAR Christina Smith
APR Pamela Jean Bryant
MAY Kathy Morrison
JUN Gail Stanton
JUL Karen Morton
AUG Vicki Witt
SEP Rosanne Katon
OCT Marcy Hanson
NOV Monique Saint Pierre(POY 1979)
DEC Janet Quist
1979 JAN Candy Loving
FEB Lee Anne Michelle
MAR Denise McConnell
APR Missy Cleveland
MAY Michelle Drake
JUN Louann Fernald
JUL Dorothy Mays
AUG Dorothy Stratten(POY 1980)
SEP Vicki McCarty
OCT Ursula Buchfellner
NOV Sylvie Garant
DEC Candace L. Collins
1980 JAN Gig Gangel
FEB Sandy Cagle
MAR Henriette Allais
APR Liz Glazowski
MAY Martha Thomsen
JUN Ola Ray
JUL Teri Peterson
AUG Victoria Cooke
SEP Lisa Welch
OCT Mardi Jaquet
NOV Jeana Tomasino
DEC Terri Welles(POY 1981)
1981 JAN Karen Elaine Price
FEB Vicki Lasseter
MAR Kymberly Herrin
APR Lorraine Michaels
MAY Gina Goldberg
JUN Cathy Larmouth
JUL Heidi Sorenson
AUG Debbie Boostram
SEP Susan Smith
OCT Kelly Tough
NOV Shannon Tweed(POY 1982)
DEC Patricia Farinelli
1982 JAN Kimberly McArthur
FEB Anne-Marie Fox
MAR Karen Witter
APR Linda Rhys Vaughn
MAY Susie Scott
JUN Lourdes Ann Kananimanu Estores
JUL Lynda Wiesmeier
AUG Cathy Saint George
SEP Connie Brighton
OCT Marianne Gravatte(POY 1983)
NOV Marlene Janssen
DEC Charlotte Kemp
1983 JAN Lonny Chin
FEB Melinda Mays
MAR Alana Soares
APR Christina Ferguson
MAY Susie Scott
JUN Jolanda Egger
JUL Ruth Guerri
AUG Carina Persson
SEP Barbara L. Edwards(POY 1984)
OCT Tracy Vaccaro
NOV Veronica Gamba
DEC Terry Nihen
1984 JAN Penny Baker
FEB Justine Greiner
MAR Dona Speir
APR Lesa Ann Pedriana
MAY Patty Duffek
JUN Tricia Lange
JUL Liz Stewart
AUG Suzi Schott
SEP Kimberly Evenson
OCT Debi Nicole Johnson
NOV Roberta Vasquez
DEC Karen Velez(POY 1985)
1985 JAN Joan Bennett
FEB Cherie Witter
MAR Donna Smith
APR Cindy Brooks
MAY Kathy Shower(POY 1986)
JUN Devin Renee DeVasquez
JUL Hope Marie Carlton
AUG Cher Butler
SEP Venice Kong
OCT Cynthia Brimhall
NOV Pamela Annette Saunders
DEC Carol Ficatier
1986 JAN Sherry Arnett
FEB Julie McCullough
MAR Kim Morris
APR Teri Weigel
MAY Christine Richters
JUN Rebecca Ferratti
JUL Lynne Austin
AUG Ava Fabian
SEP Rebekka Armstrong
OCT Katherine Hushaw
NOV Donna Edmonson(POY 1987)
DEC Laurie Carr
1987 JAN Luanne Lee
FEB Julie Peterson
MAR Marina Baker
APR Anna Clark
MAY Kymberly Paige
JUN Sondra Elizabeth Greenberg
JUL Carmen Berg
AUG Sharry Konopski
SEP Gwen Hajek
OCT Brandi Brandt
NOV Pamela Stein
DEC India Allen(POY 1988)
1988 JAN Kimberly Conrad(POY 1989)
FEB Kari Kennell
MAR Susie Owens
APR Eloise Broady
MAY Diana Lee
JUN Emily Arth
JUL Terri Lynn Doss
AUG Helle Michaelsen
SEP Laura Richard
OCT Shannon Long
NOV Pia Reyes
DEC Kata Karkkainen
1989 JAN Fawna MacLaren
FEB Simone Eden
MAR Laurie Wood
APR Jennifer Lyn Jackson
MAY Monique Noel
JUN Tawnni Cable
JUL Erika Eleniak
AUG Gianna Amore
SEP Karin & Marjam van Breeschooten
OCT Karen Foster
NOV Renee Tenison(POY 1990)
DEC Petra Verkaik
1990 JAN Peggy McIntaggart
FEB Pamela (Denise) Anderson
MAR Holly Driggs
APR Lisa Matthews(POY 1991)
MAY Tina Bockrath
JUN Bonnie Marino
JUL Jacqueline Sheen
AUG Melissa Evridge
SEP Kerri Kendall
OCT Brittany York
NOV Lorraine Olivia
DEC Morgan Fox
1991 JAN Stacy Leigh Arthur
FEB Christy Thom
MAR Julie Clarke
APR Christina Leardini
MAY Carrie Jean Yazel
JUN Saska Linssen
JUL Wendy Kaye
AUG Corinna Harney(POY 1992)
SEP Samantha Dorman
OCT Cheryl Bachman
NOV Tonja Marie Christensen
DEC Wendy Hamilton
1992 JAN Suzi Simpson
FEB Tanya Beyer
MAR Tylyn John
APR Cady Cantrell
MAY Anna Nicole Smith(POY 1993)
JUN Angela Melini
JUL Amanda Hope
AUG Ashley Allen
SEP Morena Corwin
OCT Tiffany Sloan
NOV Stephanie Adams
DEC Barbara Moore
1993 JAN Echo Johnson
FEB Jennifer LeRoy
MAR Kimberly Donley
APR Nicole Wood
MAY Elke Jeinsen
JUN Alesha Oreskovich
JUL Leisa Sheridan
AUG Jennifer Lavoie
SEP Carrie Westcott
OCT Jenny McCarthy(POY 1994)
NOV Julianna Young
DEC Arlene Baxter
1994 JAN Anna-Marie Goddard
FEB Julie Cialini(POY 1995)
MAR Neriah Davis
APR Becky DelosSantos
MAY Shae Marks
JUN Elan Carter
JUL Traci Adell
AUG Maria Checa
SEP Kelly Gallagher
OCT Victoria Zdrok
NOV Donna Perry
DEC Elisa Bridges
1995 JAN Melissa Holiday
FEB Lisa Marie Scott
MAR Stacy Sanches(POY 1996)
APR Danelle Folta
MAY Cindy Brown
JUN Rhonda Adams
JUL Heidi Mark
AUG Rachel Marteen
SEP Donna D'Errico
OCT Alicia Rickter
NOV Holly Witt
DEC Samantha Torres
1996 JAN Victoria Fuller
FEB Kona Carmack
MAR Priscilla Taylor
APR Gillian Bonner
MAY Shauna Sand
JUN Karin Taylor
JUL Angel Boris
AUG Jessica Lee
SEP Jennifer Allan
OCT Nadine Chanz
NOV Ulrika Ericsson
DEC Victoria Silvstedt(POY 1997)
1997 JAN Jami Ferrell
FEB Kimber West
MAR Jennifer Miriam
APR Kelly Monaco
MAY Lynn Thomas
JUN Carrie Stevens
JUL Daphne Duplaix
AUG Kalin Olson
SEP Nikki Scheler
OCT Layla Roberts
NOV Inga Drozdova
DEC Karen McDougal(POY 1998)
1998 JAN Heather Kozar(POY 1999)
FEB Julia Schultz
MAR Marliece Andrada
APR Holly Hart
MAY Deanna Brooks
JUN Maria Gil
JUL Lisa Dergan
AUG Angela Little
SEP Vanessa Gleason
OCT Laura Cover
NOV Tiffany Taylor
DEC The Dahm Triplets
1999 JAN Jaime Bergman
FEB Stacy Fuson
MAR Alexandra Karlsen
APR Natalia Sokolova
MAY Tishara Cousino
JUN Kimberly Spicer
JUL Jennifer Rovero
AUG Rebecca Scott
SEP Kristi Cline
OCT Jodi Ann Paterson(POY 2000)
NOV Cara Wakelin
DEC Brooke Richards
2000 JAN Bernaola Twins
FEB Suzanne Stokes
MAR Nicole Lenz
APR Brande Roderick(POY2001)
MAY Brooke Berry
JUN Shannon Stewart
JUL Neferteri Shepherd
AUG Summer Altice
SEP Kerissa Fare
OCT Nicole Van Croft
NOV Buffy Tyler
DEC Cara Michelle
2001 JAN Irina Voronina
FEB Lauren Hill
MAR Miriam Gonzales
APR Katie Lohmann
MAY Crista Nicole
JUN Heather Spytek
JUL Kimberly Stanfield
AUG Jennifer Walcott
SEP Dalene Curtis(POY 2002)
OCT Stephanie Heinrich
NOV Lindsey Vuolo
DEC Shanna Maokler
2002 JAN Nicole Narain
FEB Anka Romensky
MAR Tina Marie Jordan
APR Heather Carolin
MAY Christi Shake
JUN Michele Rogers
JUL Lauren Anderson
AUG Christina Santiago
SEP Shallan Meiers
OCT Teri Harrison
NOV Serria Tawan
DEC Lani Todd

JAN Rebecca Ramos
FEB Charis Boyle
MAR Pennelope Jimenez
APR Carmella DeCesare
MAY Laurie Joe Fetter
JUN Tailor James
JUL Marketa Janska
AUG Colleen Marie
SEP Luci Victoria
OCT Audra Lynn
NOV Divini Rae

Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Inside the Playboy Mansion book 1998. Marcy Hanson Playmate on Hef using Baby Oil. “I’m sure it’s a contraceptive and cure for AIDS all rolled into one. How could germs live in all that baby oil? And you can’t conceive, because it kills those guys, too.”

These facts and Common Sexually Transmitted Disease table were provided by The Women’s Center of Northwest Indiana
Fact: Oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, mutual masturbation . . . It’s all sex. STD’s are often passed by skin to skin contact.
Fact: About 85% of women and 40% of men infected with Chlamydia don’t know it . . . yet!
Fact: The CDC estimates that 900,000 living Americans are infected with HIV, and the majority doesn’t know it.
Fact: About one third of infertility in women is caused by STD’s.
Fact: One in every five Americans over the age of eleven

STDs are infections that can be spread by having sex with another person who is infected. If you have sex with someone who has an STD, you can get it too. Many people who have an STD don’t know it. They may look healthy, but they still could have a STD. Some people won’t tell you, even if they know. Look through the list below to find more information about a particular STD.
AIDS and HIV -Human immunodeficiency virus or HIV is a virus that attacks the immune system resulting in Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome, or AIDS.
Chancroid - A treatable bacterial infection that causes painful sores.
Chlamydia - A treatable bacterial infection that can scar the fallopian tubes affecting a woman’s ability to have children.
Crabs - Also known as pediculosis pubis, crabs are parasites or bugs that live on the pubic hair in the genital area.
Gonorrhea - A treatable bacterial infection of the penis, vagina or anus that causes pain, or burning feeling as well as a pus-like discharge. Also known as “the clap”.
Hepatitis - A disease that affects the liver. There are more than four types. A and B are the most common.
Herpes - Genital herpes is a recurrent skin condition that can cause skin irritations in the genital region (anus, vagina, penis).
Human Papillomavirus / Genital Warts - Human papillomavirus (HPV) is a virus that affects the skin in the genital area, as well as a female’s cervix. Depending on the type of HPV involved, symptoms can be in the form of wart-like growths, or abnormal cell changes.
Nongonococcal Urethritis (NGU) Nongonococcal urethritis (or NGU) is a treatable bacterial infection of the urethra (the tube within the penis) often times associated with Chlamydia.
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease - An infection of the female reproductive organs by Chlamydia, gonorrhea or other bacteria. Also known as PID.
Scabies - Scabies is a treatable skin disease that is caused by a parasite.
Syphilis - A treatable bacterial infection that can spread throughout the body and affect the heart, brain, nerves. Also known as “syph”.

When coming to L.A., when trying to make it as a star, all I can say is consider this book. Consider the facts listed. Think beyond the next party, the next night out. Think of your life. Sometimes dreams can be illusions. The mansion . . . upstairs . . . is nothing more than that.

My book is a serious book with an important story to tell to all women about character, image, self-respect and the exploitation of the false over the true.

My story is about being naively seduced, exploited and narrowly escaping, the falsely glamorous and sexy cover of an industry which, in reality, is the physical manifestation of one man’s pathetic, decaying and voracious ego.

I discovered a world of unprotected sex, drugs, gay porn, constant surveillance, and the realization that the Playboy Mansion isn’t Barbie’s dream house, but a brokerage house, where dangerous sex is traded for stardom.

In my book I tell my feelings about the ‘bugged’ phones, monitored internet and hidden cameras in Hef’s girlfriends’ bedrooms, which what and tape their every intimate moment and, in some cases, those of their 12 and 13 year old children.

I am an advocate for the practice of Safe Sex and for the prevention of Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

All of the profits of my book go to which is a crisis center for battered women and children.

I am promoting education for the practice of Safe Sex and the prevention of Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Each year, between 13 and 15 million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are diagnosed in the United States. About a quarter of these cases are in teens ages 15 to 19 - that means one out of every eight adolescents contracts an STD. Unfortunately, many teens are unaware of the dangers posed by STDs or how to prevent or identify them.

HIV is a virus that can damage the body’s defense system so that it cannot fight off certain infections.
If someone with HIV goes on to get certain serious illnesses, this condition is called AIDS. HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.

Signs and Symptoms
There are no 'set' symptoms for HIV infection or AIDS. Most people who become infected with HIV do not notice they have been infected, although some may suffer from a flu-like illness shortly after infection.
People who have HIV may feel and look completely well but their immune systems may nevertheless be damaged. It is important to note that once someone is infected they can pass HIV on, even if they feel well. The more time passes, the more likely damage is to have occurred to the immune system. Once the immune system is compromised, the person may be susceptible to 'opportunistic infections', these are infections that are around us all the time and can normally be fought off by a healthy immune system. Also, some tumours or cancers can occur as a result of a damaged immune system and can cause damage to the brain and nervous system.
These 'symptoms' are, however, not caused by HIV but by the opportunistic infections.

How HIV is passed on
There are three main ways in which HIV can be passed on by:
• having vaginal or anal sex without a condom with someone who has HIV. Unprotected oral sex also carries some risk;
• A mother with HIV to her baby during pregnancy, at birth or through breastfeeding; and
• sharing needles, syringes or other drug-injecting equipment that is contaminated with HIV infected blood.

Teens and condoms
AKA Love socks, The goalie, love glove, willie warmers, johnny bag, poshie, jimmie hatz, rubber johnnies, sheaths, dobbers, raincoats, french letters, nodding socks, gentleman's jerkins . . .


• The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimate that 850,000 to 950,000 U.S. residents are living with HIV infection, one-quarter of whom are unaware of their infection.
• Approximately 40,000 new HIV infections occur each year in the United States, about 70 percent among men and 30 percent among women. Of these newly infected people, half are younger than 25 years of age.
• The estimated number of AIDS diagnoses through 2002 in the United States is 886,575. Adult and adolescent AIDS cases total 877,275, with 718,002 cases in males and 159,271 cases in females.
• Of new infections among men in the United States, CDC estimates that 15 percent through heterosexual sex.
• Of new infections among women in the United States, CDC estimates that approximately 75 percent of women were infected through heterosexual sex.
• The estimated number of new adult/adolescent AIDS diagnoses in the United States was 43,225 in 1998, 41,134 in 1999, 42,239 in 2000, 41,227 in 2001, and 42,136 in 2002.
• From 1985 to 2002, the proportion of adult/adolescent AIDS cases in the United States reported in women increased from 7 percent to 26 percent
• As of the end of 2002, an estimated 384,906 people in the United States were living with AIDS.
• As of December 31, 2002, an estimated 501,669 people with AIDS in the United States had died.

A person who has genital herpes infection can easily pass or transmit the virus to an uninfected person during sex.
According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 45 million people in the United States ages 12 and older, or 1 out of 5 of the total adolescent and adult population, are infected with HSV-2.
Nationwide, since the late 1970s, the number of people with genital herpes infection has increased 30 percent.
HSV-2 infection is more common in three of the youngest age groups which include people aged 12 to 39 years.
Between outbreaks, using male latex condoms during sexual intercourse may offer some protection from the virus.
Chlamydia is one of the most widespread bacterial STIs in the United States. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that more than 3 million people are infected each year.
Chlamydia is sometimes called the “silent” disease because you can have it and not know it.
You can reduce your chances of getting Chlamydia or giving it to your partner by using male latex condoms correctly every time you have sexual intercourse.
Each year up to 1 million women in the United States develop PID, a serious infection of the reproductive organs. As many as half of all cases of PID may be due to chlamydial infection, and many of these women don’t have symptoms. PID can cause scarring of the fallopian tubes, which can block the tubes and prevent fertilization from taking place. Researchers estimate that 100,000 women each year become infertile because of PID.
In 2000, 358,995 cases of gonorrhea were reported to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
In the United States, approximately 75 percent of all reported cases of gonorrhea is found in younger persons aged 15 to 29 years.
The highest rates of infection are usually found in 15- to 19-year old women and 20- to 24-year-old men.
Health economists estimate that the annual cost of gonorrhea and its complications is close to $1.1 billion.
By using latex condoms correctly and consistently during vaginal or rectal sexual activity, you can reduce your risk of getting gonorrhea and its complications.
Gonorrhea is spread during sexual intercourse. Infected women also can pass gonorrhea to their newborn infants during delivery.
At least 20 million people in this country are already infected.
Approximately 5.5 million new cases every year.
Some types can cause cervical cancer. Other types are associated with vulvar cancer, anal cancer, and cancer of the penis.
The number of cases rose from 5,979 in 2000 to 6,103 in 2001. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported in November 2002 that this was the first increase since 1990.
Syphilis increases by 500% the risk of transmitting and acquiring HIV (human immunodeficiency virus), the virus that causes AIDS.
An infected person who has not been treated may infect others during the first two stages, which usually last 1 to 2 years.
In its late stages, untreated syphilis, although not contagious, can cause serious heart abnormalities, mental disorders, blindness, other neurologic problems, and death.
Between 40 to 70 percent of women with active syphilis will give birth to a syphilis-infected infant.
Pregnant women with syphilis can pass syphilis to her unborn child, who may be born with serious mental and physical problems as a result of this infection.
A pregnant woman with untreated, active syphilis is likely to pass the infection to her unborn child.
Miscarriage may occur in as many as 25 to 50 percent of women acutely infected with syphilis during pregnancy.
Using latex male condoms properly during sexual intercourse may give some protection from the disease.

UN agency calls for new approaches to fighting AIDS as infection rate increases
6 July 2004 - Despite an increase in funding to fight the worldwide spread of HIV/AIDS, last year's infection rate was the highest ever and radical and innovative approaches must be devised to reverse the expansion of the disease while the epidemic is at a crossroads, a new United Nations report says.
The "2004 Report on the Global AIDS Epidemic" from the Joint UN Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS) says it is time "to embark boldly upon the 'Next Agenda' - an agenda for future action that adopts the essential, radical and innovative approaches needed for countries to reverse the course of the epidemic."
If the world continues responding to the epidemic in "its well-meaning, but haphazard and ineffectual fashion, then the global epidemic will continue to outpace the response," it says.
In 2003, an estimated 4.8 million people - within a range of 4.2 million to 6.3 million - became newly infected with HIV. "This is more than any one year before," it says.
Some 37.8 million people are now living with AIDS and 20 million have died since the first cases of AIDS were identified in 1981, it says.
The world was spending an estimated $4.7 billion on combating the epidemic in 2003, but that figure was less than half what would be needed by 2005 and only a quarter of what would be needed by 2007 to mount a comprehensive response to AIDS in low- and middle-income countries, the report says.
"An unprecedented level of financial resources is now available to tackle the disease, but it is still half of what is really needed," and the money appropriated is not being used in an effective, coordinated manner, it says.
Efforts to prevent the spread of HIV need to focus on both risky individual behaviour and on broad underlying structural factors in society, it says.
Part of the problem is that, in some instances, AIDS funding is blocked in government bank accounts, or is stalled under rules put in place by international donors, UNAIDS says.
Meanwhile, whereas those affected by the epidemic were once predominantly male, at least half are now women worldwide. Among southern Africans infected women outnumber infected males by as much as two to one in some age groups.
In other ways, women are affected by being the ones burdened with taking care of the sick and are the most likely to have to sacrifice jobs and schooling, a situation which the report highlights by including gender sections in each chapter.
Noting the factors that make women more vulnerable, it says adolescent girls must have access to information and services, violence against women must not be tolerated, women must have property rights and access to prevention options, including an eventual microbicide.
"Addressing vulnerability at the structural level includes reforming discriminatory laws and policies, monitoring practices and providing legal protections for people living with HIV," the UNAIDS report says.
Half of all new HIV infections are now found in the 15- to 24-year-old age group, with more than 6,000 contracting the virus every day, the report says. People in the same age group will be responsible for fighting the epidemic in future, so they should now play an integral part in responding to the epidemic.
Some great sites below to check out for more info! Where to find Sexual Health Clinics in the UK and USA Information about and images of STDs. Please be warned that some of these images are of a sexually explicit nature. Question and answer website covering sexual health and other issues. STD basics

After my book was released

Since the release of my book one of my biggest questions is am I in trouble with Playboy. The answer is I have not had one letter or phone call from Playboy since the release of my book. That is one thing that Playboy always stood for was Freedom of expression and in the United States if it is an autobiography you can talk about pretty well anything you seen with your own eyes. Here are a few funny things that happened due to the book.


During the time I was writing the book I got a post card in the mail from a company called Event Management Services a Publicity Firm out of Florida I had talked to them many of times and it was all set about the publicity for my book. I had actually sent them an $8,000 check to get the advertising rolling. Everything was drawn out and all of our strategies had been put in place on where and how we were going to market it. They had read the book and didn’t think it was that negative and were not concerned. I made the mistake of adding the © after the word Playboy and when I sent it back with a few revisions this flipped them absolutely out. They backed out of the entire deal and gave me the money back. They were too afraid to touch anything to do with Playboy. I was suddenly stuck with no plan of attack and had not really researched other companies because I was so sold on this particular one. I had to scramble to get the ball rolling again.

I contacted a wonderful lady named Elizabeth that worked for Baker, Winokur & Ryder PR that represents the biggest of stars in Hollywood. She gave me some great advice over a year before my book came out telling me that I only had one chance to tell my story and then that was it. It would be over that if I told it to a tabloid it would be over in a week and forgotten. She thought I should do it right and write a book. So I took her advice and did just that. Over a year had passed since she had given me this advice and I called her with the news to tell her that I had published the book. I wanted their company to represent me for publicity. She did some checking and unfortunately Playboy was one of their accounts paying a great large fee sometimes for one publicity event. She also laughed after she read my book and said that they also represented Michael Clark Duncan that I had not spoke highly of in the book. She was a doll though and wished me the best of luck. She gave me a few other contacts to try for publicity. The one girl said she was too busy to handle something that involved especially if Playboy came after her it would be to time consuming and scary for her.

Since I had struck out with Elizabeth and the other lady that I had called I found another publicity firm.

Meeting a great guy from the Chicago Book Expo he informed me of a lady in New York that could help me with publicity. I actually hired two people the same day to co-op the publicity. I figured them working as a team would make them not as scared of Playboy. I had no publicists the weeks before and suddenly two. My one publicist would never introduce me to anyone even though that was part of her job to get me connected. Finally she asked me not to say that she was my publicist. I was like what. She said I don’t want it getting back to Playboy that I worked with you. She had me introduce her as either a friend or hat designer. Once the book started to get a ton of press she finally decided to start calling me her publicist because people wanted to hire whoever my publicist was. I would only mention the other gal Anne Dozier as my publicist and finally she got over the whole Playboy scare. She received an email from a friend that read something like “Beware I don’t think it is a good idea you working with this person”


Hi Gary,

It’s Jill Ann here. Author of Jill Ann “Upstairs, My journey to the Playboy Mansion” I have watched your show forever. Love all of you guys and you have had a lot of Playmates on your shows. Most of them could not go into great detail or any detail of what goes on upstairs in Hugh Hefner’s Bed or at the Playboy Mansion because they still need a job from Playboy. I tell it all. I will have your audience so intrigued that it will be one of your best shows ever. Of course I will show you my beautiful breasts because hey it’s Howard Stern show, “If you won’t show don’t go!!” Anyhow, this is my first book but I think you will love what I have to share and I am in Vegas for the next month. I heard you were going to be at the Hard Rock second week in May. I would love to be on the show in Vegas, otherwise if this is already filled up, let me know and I will fly to New York. I am a professional poker player and that is why I am in Vegas for the WSOP World Series of Poker at Binion’s. I have my own poker chip with my picture on it. We don’t have to discuss poker at all though, I have so many stories that you will be overwhelmed and I am wiling to tell all.

Lots of Love,

Jill Ann Spaulding

I decided to contact the Howard Stern show immediately after the book was printed. They were one of the first people to get my book. I sent it personally to Gary. I did just that. I got a call from the Stern show saying they were very interested in my story and would be calling me back after they had discussed it with Howard. I was so excited when they called I could feel my palms getting wet. A few weeks went by with no return call like they said they would be giving me. I called the Stern show and they said they had misplaced the book could I send them another one. I immediately sent it to them again. With no word from them I called again and they said they were not interested in doing the story.
After much media attention, Howard Stern I feel was forced to tell the story or was not so worried about telling it since it had already turned up in New York Post Page 6, New York Times, and many other large press items. They finally called and wanted me to do the show.
Since Howard had become friends with Hef and many of his guests were Playmates I understood why he did not want to bite the hand that fed him much of his great entertainment. He allowed very little time for me on the show. I think he was concerned that I would be to negative and they would have to shut me up or he would have allowed more time to talk about tons of lesbian sex and other great issues we never even really explored. It was a very short interview with him starting most of his sentences with She alleges (just to cover himself I suppose) trying to keep the conversation upbeat and positive for Playboy so he could have the best of both worlds and I played along with him as well. I was still so surprised that the shock jock would hold up on a story such as this one for so many months and not be the first one to break the story.

The View: I got a call from the View and was told that they had a specific date and time and wanted me not to talk about the story to anyone that they wanted to be the first one to break the story. I was excited and nervous at the same time. I was asked to tell my story to him over the phone and just choked up. I was so nervous I couldn’t speak. I handed the phone to Bruce and asked him to fill him in. The guy from the View angrily asked Bruce to hand back the phone to me. That was the end of that. I had buried myself. I got so nervous based on it being such a big show that I choked. My publicist Anne later called them about a month later and asked them what the reason was for changing their minds and me choking was it. They were too worried that I wouldn’t be able to tell the story on national TV. Its funny how they want to be the first but then when you’re not an expert speaker they can’t use you.

Gloria Allred: I even wrote a letter to Gloria. I figured if in case I got sued she would probably be the person I would ask to represent me due to she was

Dear Gloria Allred,

I just wanted you to have a copy of my book. When I was writing it I constantly was thinking of you and this is why I took the risk to go ahead and expose all of the information in my book. You have done so much for women and their rights. I just wanted to say thank you.


Having two publicists I flew to New York to do my first interview with Inside Edition. I had paid for a public press release that had gone out to all of the United States which in turn had received much publicity and things were starting to roll. This is what launched the book into immediate press news. Heading to New York to meet with Inside Edition I was taught by my new publicist about a little game called wearing and returning. It is where most of the stylist for the stars or for big productions have a huge credit card limit and what they do is go around to different stores purchasing items and then having the model or actress wear the item for the one scene and then return the item the following day with all the tags in tack. Because you can’t be seen wearing the same item more then once. I had heard of people trying to return prom dresses but she was taking me to a serious store where the price tags for one blouse was $800.00. I had never seen a price tag as high as this store but she said I had to have the most awesome clothes for Inside Edition.
I was scared to death to even try the stuff on so worried I might get something on one of the items or bust a button, but I was coerced into doing just that. Standing at the counter shaking like a leaf in a storm I purchased $4000.00 worth of clothing which was not more then four items. Both publicists accompanied me to the Inside Edition interview and I was very nervous to say the least especially since it was my first on camera interview. They sat me down in a little room with a big camera starring at me and a large camera guy. A beautiful young girl informed me that she was going to ask me questions but her voice was not going to be heard as of part of the interview so I had to answer the questions in complete sentences including the question so people understood what I was saying. Luckily it wasn’t live, and we did a few takes.


My publicists said I needed non sexy pictures. Pictures that made me look sophisticated and like a book writer. One of my publicists was dating a photographer and for $500 he was going to shoot the pictures for me and let me use them in any of my press because this is what they were for. Bringing my $4000 items with me and many other items from my own closet we did the boring shoot to try and make me look older and sophisticated. Not only did I look older but I hated the photos.

The photos were sent to tons of magazines and one of the photos from this shoot ended up on the cover of Steppin Out Magazine which is a syndicated magazine that did about a 11-page story on me. They called me on the phone and interviewed me that way. The magazine got a lot of the facts incorrect but in turn the editor was friends with Howard Stern and often on the Howard Stern Show. One thing led to another and the Editor of Steppin Out Magazine mentioned me to Howard Stern on one of his programs. Later this day after the photo shoot I headed back to the store in hopes of returning the overpriced items. To my luck they took all of the items back and I was highly relieved. My publicist would not go back in with me during the return and she stayed outside with Bruce in the cab because she didn’t want them to recognize her so that she could bring other people back into the store at a later time as well. She had also tried to sell some of her hats to this clothing store because she was also a hat designer as well and didn’t want to get a bad rap with their owner.


I had this really great gal come and do my makeup for my book launch at Vela in Manhattan. She is a really cute girl, and we got along really great. I felt like I had known her for years. She noticed a book on my dresser by Jenna Jameson “How to Make Love like a Porn Star” and admitted that she had sex with Jenna herself. Finding this out was very intriguing to me and she went on to tell me for a gal (Jenna) with such a little body had a large twat (parking lot vagina)! That I would be surprised what could fit in there!
She said that when she was touring with Motley Crue that Jenna showed up back stage and had no interest in any of the guys from Motley Crue but was completely interested in her. One of the guys from Motley Crue told the security guards that she was not allowed back stage where they were hoping that Jenna would find interest in him instead. She had to leave the back area, and Jenna hung out backstage. Not for long though . . . Jenna found her and both of them left together. She said the sex with Jenna was crazy. I asked her about Tommy Lee, what kind of a guy he was like. She said that when she started touring with Motley Crue that he was on room arrest so after the concert he had to go back to his room and could not be partying with everyone else. He was not drinking at the time and was a great fun guy. She said later on when he began drinking again she started to have to literally hide from him because he was following her and making her extremely uncomfortable and she told him specifically that she was lesbian only but he would not stop. It became crazy for her and she really felt she had to hide.
We discussed my book Jill Ann Upstairs and about the No Condoms being used. She said that Tommy Lee doesn’t use protection either. I was like, oh my gosh are these girls crazy! She had caught her girlfriend being unfaithful and it had been over a month and a half since they had seen each other. On this fateful night they talked and might end up working it out. I really hope so because she seems to really care about her, and it would be great to make sure she is happy because I was feeling there was a terrible void in her life without her girlfriend. Months later she emailed me letting me know that she was mentioned in Tommy Lee’s book and Dave Navarro’s book and “The dirt,” the Motley Crew Book. She said she ended up having a large blown-up picture of her face in Dave Navarro’s book but was quoted as saying she was a man-hating lesbian in one of the other books. She didn’t state which but I assumed it was “the dirt” book.

My book Launch party was at Vela in Manhattan. We got our own VIP table, and we ate a really great dinner that Vela bought for us with almost everything on the menu. Then they delivered a bottle of my favorite alcohol “Malibu” To top it off the diet coke machine was not working correctly, there was no sweet and it tasted terrible. As a great gesture our server went and purchased a 20 oz bottle of Diet Coke so that I could have a great Diet Coke and Malibu drink! Many of the guests started to arrive. I was excited when Dean Winters from the terrific show “OZ” on HBO arrived. He was so nice and handsome and very personable. Wyclef Jean was supposed to attend, but instead his brother and sister came, Sadek Jean and Melky Jean.

The owner and designer of Chrome Hearts arrived. This is one of the most famous fashion lines in the world that so many of the stars are wearing. The paparazzi started to show up and take many of pictures of the festivities. Beautiful Go Go girls came to dance and Toothpick was there to sing and play his guitar for all of us. Here was the terrific invitation that they put together for the party! Everyone seemed to be having a great time, and we gave away a ton of books, autographed photos and signed Stepping Out magazines. Steppin Out Magazine showed up and gave away t-shirts, hats and other items. Other fantastic stars that were there were Ms. Kitty and
Dr. Dot, masseuse to the stars came! The night was great and I think everyone had a great time! She stayed the night at my hotel after the party. She has her breast pierced and many great tattoos.


It was the night of Jenna Jameson’s book release party in New York. We were on the VIP list. When I got there they did not check to see if I was on the list and let my entire group go right in. The paparazzi were there and took hundreds of pictures of me. Finally everyone was telling them to let me go and enjoy myself. The pic for this event ended up in the Post the following day. I was then interviewed by someone with Fox for shows coming up months from now with many sexual questions involved. I guess because it was Jenna’s party that is why they were doing such an event.
VH1 showed up and wanted to know if I was a porn star. I said no that I was the girl starting all of the trouble with Playboy. TheVH1 gale said, “You are that girl!” I told her that I was friends with Jenna Jameson’s brother. Okay, in case you had not read I only have one tattoo and it was done by Tony, who is Jenna’s brother. How did I end up getting a tattoo from Jenna’s brother? One of my employees at Name Brand Exchange was helping out one of the workers at his shop. She was going to be a tattoo artist herself and he was helping her get started and learn some of the behind the scenes things that goes on. She was talking about getting her tattoo that she already had re-colored.
I told her that for over 10 years that I have talked about getting a pair of lips on my butt because an employee years before had the cutest pair of lips on her butt and every time that I did anything she didn’t like such as ask her to vacuum she would pull her pants down slightly to say “Kiss my ass.” I said if I ever was going to get a tattoo that that was what I would get. She did not understand why I didn’t get one.
I said I don’t like the same shirt more than a few times, that I was worried that I would regret getting a tattoo. We talked about me chickening out and that I probably wouldn’t go through with it and she was like if you go with me you won’t. She seemed like it might help her with the company that she was bringing in clients and then to find out Jenna Jameson’s brother worked there was like enough reasons to maybe go ahead and get a tattoo.
To tell you the truth I was going to meet him but was planning on chickening out on the whole tattoo thing. So with no appointment, me and Tamara pulled up Phoenix Tattoo Company and I just wanted to look at the books to see what it might look like etc. Tony was really nice and had a cancellation at this time. It was like karma I figured and he said he would draw it up for me and see if I liked it. He was gone for about 15 minutes and came back with a pair of lips that were just perfect. I hadn’t pictured them as good as he had drawn them and it was all too much and the next thing I knew I had the tattoo. Tony was so nice and before I had the tattoo done I said to him, “Would Jenna approve of this tattoo” and he said oh yes I smiled and he began. He was so nice and he gave me two autographed pictures of Jenna and told me that he was having a signing party to bring more business into his shop. He said that Jenna would be there and he would like me to also come and sign pictures. I said I would love to and that I would bring a huge stack of 8 x 10’s and give them away and also contact all of my email database to show up to get his place more known.
We became such good friends that we took the Phoenix Tattoo Stickers and put them all over the Hummer to help them advertise. We took a huge stack of cards and gave them out to many friends, and believe it or not many people came up to us asking about the tattoo company because of our stickers all over the hummer. We had back ones that covered the entire back of the window of the hummer and one on both side windows of the hummer. I kept in touch with Tony via email and even sent him a signed book. He said that due to his sister’s book tour that he was not having the signing after all because she was just too busy but that maybe after her book tour that they would reschedule it.
My friend Karen was also good friends with Jenna because her dad did many of the decorating in Jenna and Jay’s house. So okay back to tonight. I had never met Jenna even though I knew many of people that were friends with her and even knew her brother. Ivy, my publicist, had gotten an invite to the Jenna Jameson release party. So I was very excited to finally meet Jenna in person. She had not only made an impact in so many people’s lives, but I had heard so many great things about her. The night had come. I finally made it through the massive crowd of people and after waiting my turn to talk to Jenna between many of interviews I quickly showed her my tattoo and told her I was the gal that wrote the book about Hugh Hefner and was friends with her brother.
She was like oh yes Tony has told me about you and she seemed so excited to have finally met me. I showed her my tattoo and she spanked me on the butt playfully. We posed for pics for the camera guys. She said come back upstairs later after the media dies down so we can have drinks together. I was so excited. I asked her if she could tell the bodyguard that I was allowed to come back up later for drinks. The bodyguard was standing right there and she said she is okay to him. I was so excited I had finally met one of the most beautiful and famous girls in the world. Bruce, who has been in love with Jenna for years, could not get in through the crowds of media and was the main person that I wanted to get to meet Jenna. With the info of drinks later I removed myself from the media frenzy and went downstairs to tell Bruce the great news. Ivy stayed for another hour upstairs hanging out watching the excitement. I left the media room so that I would not be a distraction and let her get all of her interviews done. She later moved downstairs to another area of the club and the bodyguard did let me in. She never made eye contact with me again and finally I sat near her. Bruce snuck in through a back entrance so excited to get to meet Jenna.
All we wanted was a picture of Jenna with me with our camera so that we could have the rights to the photo so we could put it on the website for the fans. I introduced Jenna to Bruce my boyfriend of 12 years. Not sure why I gave so much information but since she seemed to no longer be giving me eye contact since the earlier encounter when she seemed so nice I thought maybe she thinks I am going to steal her man or something so I let her know ASAP that we were boyfriend and girlfriend and for how long. She did not move an inch and continued to smoke her cigarette. She finally put the cigarette to the back of the chair and was holding it there. Jenna was sitting about 2 feet away and Bruce asked her if he could get a picture. He did not say with me or with him, but we were hoping to get both. He wanted so much to send a picture back to his four sons because not only was he one of her biggest fans so were all of his grown sons, the youngest being eighteen. She said let me finish my cigarette. It would have taken one second with the cigarette lit to just lean over that is how close we were to take a picture but this did not happen.
She then headed out of VIP area upstairs to the bathroom. Me like a fool still thought we were going to have drinks like she said and followed her. She went into a certain area of the club and then just disappeared and we did not see her again. Well, I didn’t get that drink. I am now trying to find one of the guys that took a picture upstairs so that I can at least have a picture of me and Jenna. Bruce was a little brokenhearted. He had read her book cover to cover and when you read an autobiography you feel like you know the person. You feel like they are friends and when she wouldn’t give him the time of day he was disappointed. When we got back to the hotel he decided to mail the book to his daughter’s son because he no longer wanted it. I told him that I still wanted to read it because I wanted to find out if she said anything about her Playboy experience in her book when she posed.

Tommy Lee and Dave Navarro

Leaving my belongings in Manhattan I flew to Vegas because we are on the VIP list for Rock Star Poker Invitational at the Palms. My friend is good friends with Tommy Lee and also great friends with the guy that was putting on the entire event. So we got to All Access VIP passes for the party. My friend Phil Gordon (Pro Poker Player and a very handsome guy I must say) volunteered at last minute to MC the event and call down the hands. He didn’t get paid, but it was great exposure for him and he got to go to the after party upstairs. He not only made the event much better but it was much more controlled and understandable to the crowd, players and everyone that will later watch the event! Surprisingly, my girlfriend’s old flame, who is Tommy Lee’s music producer, was there. He was thrilled to see her and the old flame became new again.
Tommy Lee’s hot sexy blonde girlfriend Michelle was there wearing a similar number to the one that I was wearing in the National Enquirer (a hot business suit with no shirt underneath it) she looked fantastic. I was enjoying watching Dave Navarro and Tommy Lee play and another great guy from the goo-goo dolls. They were playing No limit Texas Holdem for a first place prize of $10,000. Whenever one of the stars would go in everyone would get very excited and there was a line of beautiful palm girls that would escort you out if you got knocked out of the tournament to make the departure not so unbearable.
All of the players were supposed to be people that had won from a radio contest or an internet contest. No pros were allowed. Of course I suddenly recognized one of the players and gave him a great big hug from seeing him at the World Series of Poker. I didn’t know the no pro rule and didn’t understand that this was not a good thing. Luckily he didn’t win so there was no harm done. I didn’t know his name, but I just remembered seeing him at the WSOP in April and went up to tell him hi. Suddenly it was like a fly on rice and everyone wanted to know this and that. I decided to slink back into the VIP section where hot girls were serving drinks. I ordered my usual Diet Coke and Malibu. I was content and relaxed and enjoying the event. I had already got a great pic of me and Dave Navarro at the break. I had gotten to talk to Tommy Lee and tell him I was a Professional Poker Player and hang out with them till the game started back up. My girlfriend was hanging out with Tommy Lee’s girlfriend during the poker game while I was in the VIP section sipping my drink. Within a sudden instant she came running over to me hysterically telling me I must come must come. I jumped up and left my belongings and drink. Michelle (Tommy’s girlfriend) and Ivy were standing there. You have to flash Tommy, they were both saying. I was like what! This is his song “Get Naked.” I looked over and said no, shaking my head. The let my strap down off of my shoulder.
Ivy said come on Jill Ann, do it for Tommy. I looked at Michelle and said if you say you want me to since he is your boyfriend then I will . . . otherwise no! She said, “Yes Yes!”
I said how about you do it at the same time with me. She said, “Oh I can’t. Tommy would kill me!” She said just only do it when Tommy is looking over here! So they gave me the cue and it seemed like Tommy Lee was looking in our direction, we were standing almost against the table maybe less than 6 feet from him, but he didn’t see it, I just quickly flashed one breast towards him. The gals insisted that I do it again. Michelle and Ivy both started screaming Tommy, Tommy and I flashed. Tommy was intrigued and gave the head dance, that hey alright cool look! The girls were all happy and about five minutes went by. I stood there with them for a little while planning on heading back to my VIP table when I felt a pull on my back with a group of security guards telling me they needed to talk with me immediately. I knew that I was in trouble, even though it was a closed party, in “The Lounge” and only people over 21 can even be in the casino. Ninety-nine percent of everyone didn’t see it but one unhappy security person did and they were throwing me out of the palms. I told Ivy and Michelle that they were throwing me out. The girls started telling the guards “You can’t throw her out she is with Tommy Lee.” Michelle started screaming at Tommy for help!
I said let me at least get my belongings (my purse and jacket). I went to get my stuff and as all of the four guards were there to escort me out I made a run for it. I dashed into the nearby poker room and hid down behind one of the players. My heart was beating like 90 miles an hour. I did not get to see about the last ½ an hour of the poker game and did not get to see who won with my own eyes. I snuck back in right before everyone was leaving back into the lounge. I was undetected with Michelle and Ivy waiting for me at the bar. I told them to call me when they got up to the after party and tell me where to go so that I could sneak up there hopefully unseen.
After the game was over the gals headed to Tommy’s suite. Michelle and Tommy had sex for about a half an hour and then I met them by the elevators on the 28th floor where the Real World Suite is. The same suite we partied in the night before with a different group of people! Didn’t put this in Diary because it was not that great! But you can see pictures from that party on the web. Anyhow, Tommy, Michelle, Ivy and a large crew of other body guards, friends got out of the elevator. Ivy grabbed my hand and we all went into the party with Tommy Lee, when we got to the door Tommy looked back and said “All of them is my crew!” I felt so privileged. I was just called part of Tommy’s crew!
We were in the very private after party. Dave Navarro was there taking a bubble bath in the Jacuzzi tub, there was a DJ, gigantic shrimp and crap to eat. An array of cheese, fruit, crackers, etc. A fully stocked bar with a girl running the bar. Tommy played with my dog and Michelle carried Holdem all around. Dave Navarro posed wet with bubbles for a pic with me. The goo goo dolls guy was really nice and seemed to be having a great time. People were playing pool and dancing. Dave I have to say was so nice to everyone, he seemed to be such a down to earth person, not flirtatious in anyway! (Who would be with Carmen Electra in your bed?) Carmen if you are reading this, you picked the right guy!
Michelle had an H2 Hummer waiting downstairs and her and Tommy were going to sneak off from the party at about 1:30 and go get pierced. She said that the last time they celebrated that they drank Krystal all day long from morning till night and it was the most fantastic times of her life and that this night she was going to have the same night times five!
Ivy took off with a friend and I stayed at the party. About 45 minutes later Michelle showed back up at the party. She came over to talk to me. She said that Tommy had too much to drink and passed out and that she was on top of him screaming “Wake up, wake up! You don’t love me. . . . You don’t love me.”
She was so upset because she had spent so much time planning the night. She left Tommy’s room to get something to drink and then the bodyguards would not let her back into the room. I was like you have to be kidding, what do you mean. She said because he is a big rock star that they have to protect him and that she was not allowed to go back in or get her belongings! She was back at the party and didn’t have her cell phone and many other belongings. I was like you have to be kidding, they all have seen you guys together and they are giving you crap. I said that Tommy would be doing some major ass kissing the next day making up to her and giving her gifts when he finds out what happened. She said that Tommy is a real giver not in the gift giving but in massages, cooking great meals for her, doing personal things that you just can’t buy! She asked to use my cell phone to call friends to give her a ride home since she lives in Las Vegas. She has two kids. I felt so bad for her and didn’t understand. Finally I left the party going back to the Rio, ate dinner at the café and then went to bed.


Ivy came back the next day around 11 a.m. the following day and got to stay at the Hard Rock hotel with a friend. She had sex with him, but she said he was insistent on anal sex the entire night and the entire night she was forcing him physically to leave her alone. She was mentally worn out and didn’t understand the fascination with the anal sex thing; she said it must be the rock star thing. She informed me that they used protection which made me very happy . . . and that he had a great big one! Also a great big suite to go along with it! She said he gave the best toe blow job that she has gotten in a long time! She said that she was getting to old for sex like that. She said as soon as she got back to NY she was going to have to start working out because she didn’t want to let anyone down!
I had told her about a girlfriend telling me that Tommy Lee doesn’t use protection and she did not believe this so she decided while hanging out with Michelle to come right out and ask her. She said Michelle confirmed that he doesn’t use condoms. Ivy started to lecture to her about how not good this was. She said doesn’t Tommy Lee have Hepatitis C? Tommy Lee told Michelle that Pamela Anderson had lied as to where she had gotten Hepatitis C and that since she was the mother of his children that he wasn’t going to fight with the media about it.
She headed out to the pool to get a tan. That night we went to Hard Rock and ate dinner with one of her friends. Jenna Jameson was having her book release party at the Hard Rock. I talked to Jenna again because she said she would take a picture when we were in New York and then she disappeared so I asked her if we could get that picture for Bruce. She said that she was just getting settled and to wait awhile till they got everything set up. I figured this was great. I really wanted to get a picture for Bruce’s kids of him with Jenna Jameson since his kids all love Jenna. She walked by a few times going to the restroom. Didn’t say anything to us like okay it is now time. About an hour went by and I went back up to her cabana and asked again. She said that if she let us take a picture then she would have to let everyone take a picture to wait till later.
Finally she started letting people take pics and come up to the cabana about a few hours later with about three fans, no one else even though it was supposed to be a party. She gave one speech right at the first telling everyone to buy her book and then went to her cabana and didn’t seem to think anyone else at the party was her equal. I finally started realizing that maybe the whole drink thing she told me about in New York was only an excuse to get me to leave the media room. I was not sure why she didn’t just finally say “I am not going to take a blanking picture with you.” She would have saves me a heck of a lot of time. I would have rather had this then the continued leading on of oh in a little bit blah blah. I was on the red carpet in New York and everyone was taking my picture and now she is too good to even let me up into her booth or just take a picture with Bruce. It was making me look stupid and it was really disheartening.
Jenny McCarthy showed up and she had to wait some time to even be invited up to the cabana whereas Courtney Love got right in. I guess Jenny McCarthy looked too much like other blondes . . . . maybe they didn’t recognize her! The bodyguards surrounded all of them so that it was almost nearly impossible to get a picture of them even though Bruce tried to get pictures for all of you loyal fans so you could see what was going on. The third and final approach I was blown off again at the cabana. I was standing there with many other onlookers who were shunned away. Finally the bodyguards escorted the three blondes away keeping the crowd from taking pics as they left.
As Jenny McCarthy was being escorted I said, “Jenny, its Jill Ann I met you at the Chicago Book Expo. Did you get a chance to read my book?” She said, “Oh my gosh yes, and it was great!” She smiled very warmly—she has a way about her, really adorable. I was so excited that she had remembered me and took the time to read the book. Jenny was one of the girls that had come out about sexual harassment in LA and the casting couch so I felt she would really be a girl that understood what my book was about and get the whole concept!
We stayed a little bit longer and then one of Ivy’s friends invited us to the club inside the Hard Rock called Body English. Wow, what a surprise, there were the three blondes again three booths from our VIP booth. I began to get a little frustrated, not sure why, but two booths over was Jenna’s husband Jay, and I got his attention and he said “Sure come on in but bring the dog.”
I was excited even though he was not even in the booth with Jenna. She was in the next booth over it was closer! I went and got Holdem out of the bag and brought her into the booth. He started petting her and I was in for the moment. A guy kept tapping me on the shoulders to get my attention and I said the dog has already been approved to be in the club and turned back around. Another group came into the booth because they knew me. I quickly told them that I was barely in the booth so I wasn’t sure if they would be able to stay or not because I was already on the edge as it was. The girl informed me that she was friends with Courtney Love and said she was going to introduce me. I said great, so she leaned over and got Courtney Love’s attention and they hugged. Courtney looked at me but did not respond to the girl’s introduction of me.
She looked at the dog and seemed to be putting her hands out to touch the dog. Holdem crawled up into Courtney’s lap with a little help from me as I looked back to see the security guard coming again figuring he was going to complain about the dog again. Assuming that Courtney holding the dog would make the security guard go away I figured this would work. Instead someone else started talking to Courtney and she literally dropped the dog in mid air, I jumped to catch my dog and was scratched terribly down my entire chest because of the dog being frightened. The security guard grabbed me with the dog in hand and said the dog is not the problem; Jenna’s bodyguard has informed me you are not welcome! You need to leave. I said Jay said it was okay (which was the truth). He said that Jenna was the boss not Jay.
Jay was busy talking to a guy friend and I felt it pointless to stay were I was not welcome! So I continued on. We then left the club and went to go and get something to eat!


Crazy crazy news. Ivy did not want to go out and wanted to stay and watch movies in the hotel room so I called a friend of mine Brett better known as “Limo Brett.” He has a booth at the Bellagio light right next to the DJ booth every night of the week at the most happening place in town the club in Bellagio, where many of the stars go to hang out. I have hung out with Leo Dicaprio to the owner of the Palms to name a few at this club. This isn’t the crazy news. The crazy news is one of Brett’s good friends was there and had not only been Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door Madison’s last boyfriend, he was the boyfriend she cheated on and went into the arms of Hef. What a small world.
Brett had a copy of my book and he had flipped through the book. He told me all kinds of things that were a surprise to me. When he was dating Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door, his mom was dying of cancer and this was the exact time that she was cheating on him with Hef. He will never forgive her or forget this because when he really needed someone she was lying to him and cheating on him. He was a very handsome looking guy and seemed to be so down to earth and real. I said can you believe all of the work she has had done? He was like “She doesn’t even look like the same person” more than a few nose jobs, more than a few boob jobs, and much, much more.
I told him I knew about all of those things. He said that Holly Madison - The Girls Next Door is so slick that she is playing Hef way more then Hef ever could imagine. He said that if Hef says he loved some old movie, she would sneak out and rent it and study it and then talk to Hef about it to make him think she had already seen it and loved it and it was her favorite even though she only rented to be knowledgeable about the movie and had never seen it till she found out he liked it. He said she is a smart girl and she is going to ride the ride for everything it is worth. That night at the Bellagio Light was a Playboy Fashion show and Playboy party. There were Playboy pillows everywhere in the club and Playboy flip flops at each booth. When he noticed the pillows he said that they made him sick.
Girls that I had met at the night before at the Jenna Jameson party were there and they joined us at our VIP booth. They were looking gorgeous and were so nice and we were like long lost friends and just partied most of the night. We finally left the Light and headed to the Hard Rock to meet friends at the same club we were at the night before Body English. We met up with Erica and Edina. Edina has been a friend for years and this was the first time that we actually went out clubbing. When we pulled up in front of Hard Rock they were just walking up. It was such great timing. They had a group of bodyguards with them that have worked security for every top Hollywood person from Pamela Anderson to P. Diddy. They escorted us into the club and made sure that all of us were taken care of. They were off duty but these handsome bodyguards still took care of us like we were big stars, and it was a great time. Erica was personal friends with them, and we partied the night away getting our own private booth and letting Holdem out of her LV bag to run from lap to lap at the club.
It was much better then the night before when I was shunned by Jenna and her crew. This night I was having a great time dancing, drinking and being myself.

I am so exhausted from partying every single night. We headed to the Magic Show “a large clothing and accessory event.” We were playing catch up all day long. We ended up in the Anna Nicole Smith booth to find out not but 10 minutes before she was just there rolling around in the bed, but she would not be back till the following day (which we would be on a plane at this time). We were so sad but they gave us tank tops, hats and an 8 x 10 of Anna Nicole. They said she wasn’t taking any pictures with fans, pretty well only for media.
Ivy told the girl that she wanted to make Anna a hat and left her business card and all the information for Anna. We then ended up at the Nicky Hilton booth Chick. Ivy’s friends put together the entire line of clothing and quickly gave us a VIP invite to that night’s launch party for Nicky. 8 VIP passes in all! We chatted looked at the line, grabbed some food and heading out.
We then found ourselves upstairs and got to see Sean John go into his Bad Boy booth. The media frenzy was crazy, but we got a few shots from outside of his booth. We were told that Pamela Anderson was in the women’s section of her booth. We wanted to get her attention not only because I knew her from Malibu, California, where I usually stay in the winter time, but Ivy had made her that famous pink hat that she wears to big events. So in other words, we figured if we could get her attention we could get in to talk to her. A guy told us it was near the Playboy Booth in the women’s section so we walked 5 buildings to the section w, only to find out the place we had left earlier where we had seen Sean John was one floor below Pam’s.
Exhausted with no energy left, we still huffed back over to the place that we were just at. By the time we arrived we had missed Pam by about 10 minutes. It was like we were 10 minutes behind the entire night! We got some great shots of Pam’s Booth and the Playboy Booth that we were supposed to be at. At the Playboy Booth they noticed that I had my dog with me and Spencer’s was there buying stuff for their store. The Playboy guy said if you try this on your dog you can have the leash. I was like heck yeah, got the dog out of the LV bag and put the leash through her little legs, demonstrated the leash and how great it looked. Answered a whole bunch of questions for the Spencer lady like “would you buy this item” I said yes. Is it the right length etc. I volunteered to try on anything else that they wanted to see on my dog. She said I will take those leashes in both sizes. I was excited to get the leash. Then they tried to take it away from me and told me that I would have to come back Thursday to be able to have the leash.
I explained that I would not be there Thursday and they said leave us your address and we will send it to you. I figured that I would never get the leash and it was really cute, all pink with a little black bunny that went underneath the dog. I started to get frustrated since, 1) they told me I could have the leash, and 2) Spencer’s bought the leash. Quickly I ran over to my purse and pulled out my VIP invitation to Nicky Hilton’s party for the night. I said it is a shame I am going to Nicky Hilton’s Party and I was going to show off my cute new leash to her. I flashed the invitation. Suddenly the leash was available and they looked at the VIP invite and said, “Please please show the leash to Nicky!”
We headed back to Harrah’s where we had moved earlier that day because it was right on the strip and we thought it would be fun to change hotels. Drinking about four cups of coffee I finally still was falling asleep but ready to go to the party at the Palms for Nicky. Of all nights looking at my worst from not sleeping five nights in a row, I showed up and walked the red carpet with them taking many of pictures of me looking like I had not slept in a week--“oops I hadn’t” anyhow.
The party was fantastic and there were girls in angel outfits dancing in the middle of the pool on these round platforms, and girls who were in mermaid outfits swimming in one of the pools. Moet was served and everyone celebrated. Chick was written on all of the tables for the name of the line. The fashion show began and the clothes were comfortable looking, edgy and fun.
At the very end Nicky came out and someone presented her with a gigantic bouquet of flowers. She was stunning in person and glowed! Later that evening I got to introduce myself to her and signed an autographed copy of my book to her. My girlfriend Priti took a picture of us and I can’t wait to get it to see how it came out! Nicky seemed to be stressed talking to people on the phone, but still stopped to talk to fans and take pictures.

Barry Z Show
The Barry Z show, which is based in New York, came to my hotel to film me for his cable show. Gramercy Hotel would not let us film at the hotel so we headed down the street to try and find a place to film. Barry Z has a show right now on Broadway so we went to the Gramercy Theatre, but no one was there to let us in. We then proceeded to his rooftop overlooking the city. Due to many crazy problems such as the air conditioner on the roof and the lighting we filmed it about three times till me and Barry Z couldn’t talk anymore from redoing the redo! He is a hilarious openly gay guy and was an awesome interviewer even three times was a charm! He said the interview was going to run about twenty times in one week!
Ivy had underwear with my picture on them in her famous hat and Barry Z during the show was wearing them at one time on his head! He then pretended to bury his head in my breasts and suddenly say “Oh there you are Jill Ann.” Barry Z informed me that if you have anal sex with a girl that this makes you gay! I said okay well I learned something new!

Playmate Party
Stephanie Adams the Playmate was the first lesbian to come out and another Playmate from a foreign country. The foreign playmate told me she doesn’t consider herself really a playmate, that only US playmates are real playmates. I told her it was the same thing and she said no that she wouldn’t be happy till she made Playmate in the U.S. We all had a great time and talked about my book and how things were a little different in the United States to be a Playmate. I told her she would have to read my book to understand what I meant. Stephanie Adams and I had partied at a different party for Star Magazine. She had informed me she had heard a lot of the rumors at the Star Magazine Party.

I tried to figure out what the purpose of this book was completely about. What did I want from it? I figured it out that I wanted to get STD’s into the mind of Hugh Hefner so he would realize what he was really asking of these starlets and Girl Next Doors just to be in his magazine. Then I realized that all of this time I was spending would be better spent notifying thousands and thousands of people who would end up with STD’s than the small number of Playboy wannabes that would find their way up the stairs to the Mansion.

That is when I decided to write a letter to Hugh Hefner explaining that I wanted to speak to him. I got an email from his office requesting a number for him to call. I had not listed a number because I wanted to speak to him eye to eye about this matter and have him completely understand what I was hoping to accomplish. The first time he called it went to voice mail. I called him right back and they patched me through to him.

I was very nervous especially since I had already written book #1 and had no idea what he was going to say to me. Of course I did record it, not out of craziness but out of that I didn’t want to misquote him and wanted to make sure I had understood everything correctly. I figured of course since he had probably read book one he would already know important calls I recorded. I explained to him my whole purpose of the book and what message I wanted to deliver to him through that book. My main message to him was the welfare of these girls. During the conversation it seemed that we had come to an understanding or at least I sold this to myself. After hanging up I pulled my book and wrote the following Press Release.

Stop the press. I mean seriously stop the press.

Behind the Scenes at Playboy: The Sex, Fun and Romp ‘n’ Roll – A Playboy Model Tells All by Playboy Model Jill Ann Spaulding has been stopped. You might have read about the book in May 2005 when it broke news in the National Enquirer and on “A Current Affair.” She notified her attorney after contacting the publisher many times wondering when her upon signing the agreement check had still not being received. He informed her they were in breach of contract and that she could terminate the contract due to such.

The book was sold to a publisher in New York January 21, 2005. It was supposed to be sold to bookstores this month at the New York Book Expo.

Author Jill Ann Spaulding decided to write a letter to Hugh Hefner asking him to call or meet with him.

The one thing that she wanted most of all out of the book was the awareness to Mr. Hefner of certain issues that she felt were of utmost importance. If he could see eye to eye and come to an agreement she would pull the book. Calling him and not telling him she had such power at her fingertips they began to talk.

During the conversation Jill Ann told Mr. Hefner her main concern was the girls’ health. He informed her “I am concerned about the girls.”

Mr. Hefner stated to her “I know that you’re a fan and that was obvious in the beginning. It was also obvious, you know, in some of your public statements.”

He mentioned “I know you’re still wearing the bunny bracelet or necklace rather.”

Jill informed him she could pull the book. He responded “Well I don’t mind publicity as long as it’s, as long as it’s, you know...”

Mr. Hefner informed Jill Ann that “You don’t have to worry about the girls’ health.”

Mr. Hefner went on to say “I’ve never gotten a girl pregnant except, except when I was married and wanted to have children. I’ve never, I’ve never (laughs) passed communicable diseases. In other words, I take care of my body; I look out for the girls. And, and, you know, I’m a very, I, I am essentially a very conscientious and moral man.”

The conversation with Hugh Hefner ended as follows

Jill Ann: Okay? Have a good day.

Mr. Hugh Hefner: All right. You, you take care of yourself, darling.

Jill Ann: Okay. You, too.

Mr. Hugh Hefner: All right. Bye-bye.

Jill Ann: Okay

After hanging up with Hef she was smiling ear to ear and realized that both of them were on the same page.

She informed her Entertainment Lawyer to draw up the papers to terminate her book deal. Dated 5/26/2005 “I am the attorney for Jill Ann Spaulding. Your book contract with Ms. Spaulding expressly provides that you will pay her upon execution of that contract. Your failure to do so is a clear breach of the contract and therefore, on behalf of Ms. Spaulding, I hereby advise you that the contract is terminated effective immediately.”

Her attorney emailed her saying. “Dear Jill Ann, I am happy for you on two fronts. I believe that you still have strong feelings about Playboy and the call from Hef is something you wanted. And, more importantly, I think your goal of protecting the girls is being reached. Perhaps Hef will use his platform to expand his help beyond the Playmates or perhaps he will incorporate you into whatever program he develops which could allow you to do more. Whatever happens, it is good. Congratulations and best wishes.

“Ms. Spaulding is an outspoken advocate for the practice of Safe Sex and a well known fundraiser to help encourage education for the prevention of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD’s.)

In addition, she is an active celebrity supporter of Homeless, Domestic Violence, Family counseling and Youth programs, throughout the United States.

Her website JillAnn.Com is a Photo Reality Site. This website is a documentary/reality of 8000 plus photos of pictures of her, friends, behind the scenes, parties, celebrities, photo shoots and more. The purpose of this entire site is to raise money for charity. We do not collect money at this site but give you great options of charities that Jill Ann loves and hopes that you will donate directly to them through her site.

To make a long story short I got an email back that says Jill, Hef says if you want to clarify your position about your relationship with Playboy, put THAT in a press release form and Hef said we’d have someone edit it. But the rest of it, the STD’s etc., is another press release and has nothing to do with Hef or Playboy. Thanks Joyce.

About a month went by and the show “The Girls Next Door” on E Entertainment was being heavily advertised. This is when I got an email from the publisher I had pulled the book from hoping I had changed my mind. I got dozen of phone calls from radio stations again and a few TV shows.

I sent Hugh Hefner a letter explaining all of this and telling him that and wondering what I should do about my book. I told him that I didn’t think that I could have the book be positive.

This was some of his response
In response to your e-mail, no one objects to your talking to the media about Playboy if your comments are positive and accurate.

So I decided to go ahead and move forward with my book. I feel that it isn’t negative and it is accurate. It is the truth, from my heart.


I feel this has really increased the interest in what happens upstairs. It is also great to be able to put a face to the stories in this book. Of course the E Entertainment show as my mom would say “They make it out to be real innocent” If you want a lot of fun reading as well go to E online and go to the chat board for “The Girls Next Door” There is a lot more fascinating things that have been posted that I didn’t even know. One thing that Bridget Marquardt - The Girls Next Door is still married and has been the whole time she has been with Hef telling the Husband that Hef and Her don’t have sex?

I would love to hear what you thought about my book. Please send any reviews or letters to:
Jill Ann Spaulding
3454 E. Southern Avenue #104
Mesa, Arizona 85204
(This is not my living address so please give me
a few weeks to respond to your letter)
or email me at

My Friend Jill

I have a beautiful friend her name is Jill,
You will find her to be a great thrill.

Her last name is Spaulding,
I guarantee she is not balding.
And her heart is as golden as her long beautiful hair.
If you dare she loves to share,
Her sweet personality and warm smile.

As she passes,
Don’t be mistaken she will leave you thinking for awhile.
Her body voluptuous as well as stunning,
Some when seeing her comes running.....

I find she is misunderstood by many,
What she has to offer is definitely plenty.....
I’m not talking about what is most vivid,
Because for some they are livid.

The inner part of her makes her shine,
Don’t be blind,
So make sure you take the time.

You too can say you have a beautiful friend name Jill.
Who will be a wonderful thrill.....
To know and say you know,
Such as I.

Betty Kennedy

I opened my eyes to a vision of you
I hope and pray your feelings are true.
Wanted by many for beauty and grace
But do they see beyond your face.

A woman who’s beauty goes beyond skin deep
A beauty like yours is a treasure to keep
If they only see the outside of you
I’ll be there to bring out the inner beauty in you

I can’t lie and say I’m blind to your fame
But if you weren’t I’d treat you the same.
A gentleman and friend is what you need
So please allow me to finish this deed.

I’ve been hurt in the past tell u I must
Trust me Jill Ann this is more than lust
I long to make you happy and see how you feel
Please know in your heart this man is real.

You are so special that I wanted U to know
That I truly and completely adore you so!

Love DJG

TopPair Magazine

Okay, with this edition of the book, I can reveal that my experiences with Playboy didn’t stop my drive and ambition.
I am now a publisher of my own magazine.
Of course, you know I am a top-ranked poker player, and I have launched a strategy magazine—it’s glossy and beautiful and has interviews with top players, as well as information on tournaments and advice on playing the game.
I also decided to put seven beautiful women in every issue—only they get to keep their clothes on. These sexy women pose for the magazine and get to feel beautiful, but it’s a lot more empowering—and no one is degraded.
Maybe, after all is said and done, that’s my lesson for women everywhere.
Be yourself. Be sexy. Embrace your sexuality.
But never lose sight of who you are. Special, unique. Honor yourself and the world will honor you in return.


One Playboy Bunny’s Intimate, Step by Step Discovery of the Playboy Mansion and What Hef's Really Got Going On Upstairs.
Jill Ann Spaulding

"Ms. Spaulding is an outspoken advocate for the practice of Safe Sex and a well known fund raiser to help encourage education for the prevention of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's).

In addition, she is an active celebrity supporter of Homeless, Domestic Violence, Family counseling and Youth programs, throughout the United States.

Her book is a sober, straightforward warning and wake up call to all women dreaming of, and seduced by, the false glamour of the adult publishing industry"



Blogger Body Art said...

agree wholeheartedly with her perspective and Ms. Spaulding has definitely earned my admiration and respect.

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